The Cowboy's City Girl (Montana Cowboys)

by Linda Ford

  Levi had thrown her words back at her only to divert the conversation from him. As soon as he’d spoken, he realized how true the words were, but seeing the way her cheeks colored and her eyes glistened, he wished he could pull them back. He had no desire to hurt her.

  How could he make up for it?

  He caught her hand and tucked it around his elbow. “It seems we both have to learn to see ourselves as God sees us.” He didn’t know if he could ever do that. Or perhaps, he meant he would never be able to believe others could accept him fully. “Weren’t you about to tell me what you thought of my family?” He wanted to hear more. And mostly, he wanted to turn their thoughts toward more pleasant things.

  For a moment he thought she might withdraw and then she relaxed, her hand warm in the crook of his arm.

  “I am amazed at how kind and loving they are to each other. It thrills me to think of the children in both families finding such loving homes.”

  They had begun to walk down the little trail by the horse pasture.

  She lifted her face toward him. “I wish and pray for Dolly to find the same kind of love and acceptance.”

  He caught her shoulder with his free hand. “I do, too, though I will be sad to see her leave. I wonder how long before the aunt replies.”

  “I will miss Dolly more than I ever expected to.”

  He nodded agreement. “I wonder if she’ll feel safe enough with her aunt to start talking aloud.”

  Beatrice chuckled. “I’ve gotten used to her quietness. And after an afternoon with seven rowdy kids, I think I appreciate it.”

  They shared a laugh then fell into step again.

  He longed to know more about her. What was her childhood like? Had she known accepting love from anyone? The kind Levi and his brothers had known—from both parents and then a loving stepmother?

  “What sort of things did you do to amuse yourself as a child?”

  She got a faraway look in her eyes. “I read lots. Did needlework. I’m quite good at it, actually.” Her smile was faintly apologetic. “I spent two winters working a picture of a parrot atop flowers.” Her smile deepened, easing tension from his throat.

  She continued, her voice slightly mocking as if she realized how bland her life sounded. “I love the bright colors in it.”

  Although he enjoyed watching the play of emotions in her eyes, he had hoped for more insight into her childhood than picturing her bent over her needlework, shut indoors, watching life from a nearby window. “Didn’t you play?”

  She shifted her gaze past him. “I once had a friend, Isabelle. She was allowed to run and jump and play. I joined her until my parents discovered my activities.” She let out a soft sight. “After that Izzy no longer came to play and I was taught how a young lady should properly conduct herself.”

  Levi didn’t realize his jaw had clamped like a vise as his imagination of her childhood grew even more depressing. Beatrice made it sound as if she was not allowed to enjoy normal childhood play.

  “That’s sad. Maybe here you can learn to have fun again.” Maybe he’d make sure she did. Like time spent on the swing or exploring wildflowers. But there were so many other enjoyments he’d like to introduce her to. And he could start right now.

  He grabbed her hand and broke into a trot, pulling her along with him. He had to slow down when they reached the trees, but as they navigated the narrow path he did not release her hand. They reached the river. “One of the things me and my brothers liked to do was skip rocks.”

  “How do you do that?”

  He chuckled at the bewildered look on her face. “You choose a flat rock.” He picked up a suitable one. “And hold it like this then throw it to the water.” His rock skipped twice before it sank. He found another rock and handed it to her. “You try it.”

  She threw the rock and it sank immediately.

  “Try again.”

  She tried again and the rock again sank.

  “You need to throw it sort of sideways. Like this.” He reached around her and guided her hand. She fit perfectly in his arms, her shoulders just below his chin. Her hair tickled his nose, the scent of roses filled his senses. He might have fallen in the sun-warmed water in a nearby pool left in the eddy of some overhanging trees for the way everything else melted away.

  He tried to remember what he was supposed to be doing.

  Showing her how to skip rocks. Yes.

  He eased her arm back, then propelled it forward quickly. “Release the rock now.”

  She did and it skipped once. “I did it!” She turned about in his arms to grin triumphantly at him.

  His arms circled her.

  Her eyes darkened and her smile faded.

  They looked into each other’s eyes. He let her see all his hopes and dreams and wishes for her. And if some of them were his own...

  He blinked, not wanting her to see his own longings.

  A smile unlike any he’d ever seen before—full of sweetness and longing, trust and caution, and things he couldn’t, wouldn’t, identify—filled her eyes and gently curved her lips.

  “Levi.” His name was so sweet on her lips that he couldn’t think.

  A crow flew overhead, cawing harshly. The sound jerked Levi to his senses and he forced his unwilling arms to release her. He must remember that he was a half-breed, and she was a city girl whose plans were bigger than a ranch in Montana.

  “Try it on your own now.” He chose a flat rock and handed it to her.

  She plucked it from his palm, her eyes on his.

  He read the hurt and uncertainty in her gaze but he could do nothing to erase it. She deserved so much more than he could ever offer her.

  She lowered her gaze and tossed the rock. It sank. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m no good at this sort of thing.” She shook her head when he handed her another rock.

  He skipped it himself. But no bouncing rock would ease the regret that stole away the pleasure of the moment.

  “Can you let me know the next time someone goes to town? I need to send a note to my aunt.” She continued to stare at the rippling water.

  She couldn’t make it any plainer that she was anxious to make other arrangements. “Of course.” He might wish no one would go for several weeks but what would it change?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Beatrice returned to the house. Maisie assured her there was plenty of food left over from the picnic to provide supper. “Take the rest of the afternoon off and play with Dolly. The poor child has been moping about the place since you left.”

  Beatrice fell on her knees before the child. “Did you think I had left?”

  Dolly nodded, her eyes full of unshed tears.

  Beatrice folded the child into her arms. “I’m sorry. I would never leave you. I only went out for walk.”

  Dolly’s tears wet Beatrice’s neck as she rocked the child back and forth. Oh, if only she could ease the pain this child carried. She got to her feet and took Dolly’s hand. “Let’s go outside for a while.”

  Maisie smiled her approval as they left the house.

  Beatrice looked around. She must avoid Levi at all costs after that scene at the river. She rubbed her arm with her free hand, trying to erase the feel of Levi’s arms about her. The way he’d held her had made her feel so safe...so hungry for more. She hadn’t meant to turn to him, or at least, she hadn’t realized how quickly her excitement over skipping a rock would change to something more. Something erupting from the depths of her being, something so unexpected, so vast, she had called out to Levi like a drowning woman would call out for help.

  He’d only been interested in showing her how to skip rocks.

  It had taken several minutes for her to compose herself.

  She wasn’t sure her composure could bear seeing him f
ace-to-face at the moment.

  To her relief, he led his horse from the barn and rode away.

  To her sorrow, he didn’t so much as glance toward the house.

  It was for the best. Now she could relax and devote her attention to Dolly. She led the child past the barn and up the hill. “Shall we pick flowers and take them to Maisie?”

  Dolly nodded and they spent several minutes making a bouquet of wildflowers.

  Their arms were full but Beatrice didn’t care to return to the house yet. She didn’t belong here and it seemed fitting to sit on the hillside and look at the ranch from a distance.

  Dolly sat beside her and pressed her head to Beatrice’s arm. Beatrice lay the bouquets on the ground beside them and wrapped her arms around the child and simply held her, knowing no other way to offer comfort to a five-year-old child.

  Dolly began to speak in her quiet whisper and Beatrice held very still, afraid anything she said or did would make the child stop talking.

  “Mama said we would have so many flowers when we found our new place. She said we would have a nice home and maybe even a baby brother or sister.”

  Beatrice waited, wondering if Dolly would say more. She was no expert on dealing with grief, especially in a child, but she sensed Dolly needed to talk about what happened instead of keeping it all inside. Maybe then she would begin to talk aloud.

  Just when she wondered if the child was done, Dolly spoke again.

  “Papa got sick and we had to stop. I asked if this was our new home but Mama said we weren’t there yet. Then Mama got sick.” Dolly shuddered. “I tooked care of her.”

  Beatrice had helped Aunt Opal with the sick and wondered how a child would manage.

  “I guess they died.”

  Beatrice had to stop her arms from tightening too much. She’d assumed, everyone had, that the child knew her parents were dead. Even Dolly had said they were gone. But did she understand the finality of death? She pulled Dolly to her lap and caught her chin so their eyes connected.

  “Your mama and papa are buried in the churchyard in Granite Creek. I’ll take you there when we go to town, if you like.”

  Dolly nodded again. She lowered her gaze. “When are we going?”

  “As soon as Maisie is well enough that she doesn’t need my help every day.”

  “Okay.” The little girl continued to search Beatrice’s eyes. “Can I stay with you?”

  A lump the size of a horse lodged in her throat. “I wish you could, but you have an aunt. Do you remember her?”

  Dolly shook her head. Tears gushed silently from her eyes.

  With a groan from the bottom of her heart, Beatrice hugged the child close. “Oh, my sweet child.” At a loss as to how to comfort her, Beatrice rocked back and forth. After a bit she began to sing, as much for her sake as Dolly’s. But after a few minutes, the little girl relaxed in her arms.

  Beatrice stopped singing.

  “Sing some more,” Dolly said. “I like it.”

  So Beatrice sang, grateful she could offer this one thing. And she prayed for Dolly. Please may her aunt be kind and loving and fill this child’s life with joy.

  A horse crested a nearby hill and pulled to a stop.

  It was Levi and she watched him, wishing things could be different, but that would mean she would be a different person. If only that was possible. She’d been born a Doyle, her family rich, but Beatrice herself was of no value.

  She bowed her head over Dolly’s and let her tears flow.

  * * *

  Beatrice woke in early morning silence the next day with an aching heart. She’d grown too fond of Levi. How could she have let this happen? She’d felt so safe in his arms and had silently asked for more. But nothing had changed between them. He still guarded his heart. And she still didn’t fit into ranch life.

  Would he ever believe he was fearfully and wonderfully made?

  Dolly lay beside her, Smoky curled up at her side.

  Was it her imagination or did the child seem more relaxed since they’d talked? The pain in Beatrice’s heart was not imagined as she thought of life without Dolly.

  As she dressed, she acknowledged she would never be the same woman who had left Chicago a few weeks ago. But who would she be and where would she go?

  Whatever and wherever the good Lord led her, she would do her best to prove she could handle the situation. She would pen a note to Aunt Opal this afternoon and ask if there was any position available for her yet. If not, she would assist Aunt Opal until she found one.

  Her resolve in place, she headed for the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

  Big Sam carried Maisie to her chair. “She says she feels completely better and I checked her wound. There’s no sign of infection.” He kissed Maisie on the nose. “You continue to be a good girl.”

  Maisie chuckled.

  “I’ll have a quick look around before breakfast.” He strode from the room. Levi had already gone out. They were both anxious about any mischief the intruders might perpetrate.

  Maisie sighed. “It’s nice to be cared for so faithfully but I’m getting a little weary of it. As soon as Big Sam leaves after breakfast, I want you to look at my wound and give your honest assessment. I think it should be getting better enough I can start to move around.”

  “I don’t want to be accused of aiding and abetting,” Beatrice protested. “Big Sam would never forgive me.”

  “Pshaw. You leave him to me.”

  Beatrice shrugged and turned back to the stove. She’d have a look at the wound but she wouldn’t go against Big Sam’s opinion.

  Big Sam stomped on the step, spoke to someone. She recognized Levi’s voice. Tension flooded through her.

  Would he remember how she’d leaned into his arms and practically begged for a kiss? More than that...she’d ached for his acceptance. She kept her back to the men as they took their places at the table.

  Beatrice finished serving the meal, then sat down. Big Sam reached for her hand on one side, Maisie reached for Dolly’s and Beatrice and Dolly clasped hands. She stole a glance at Levi. He had his head bowed.

  She wasn’t disappointed that he didn’t look at her. Nor was she disappointed when he left the house with a barely there goodbye. At least he gave Dolly a hug. Big Sam paused to kiss Maisie before he left.

  Beatrice set her attention on the dish pan and the dirty dishes so she could hide from Maisie the way her mouth pulled down in sadness and confusion.

  “They’re gone. Now look at my wound.”

  Beatrice hesitated. “Big Sam won’t be happy.”

  “Leave him to me.”

  Levi wouldn’t be happy, either. He’d hold Beatrice responsible if anything happened to Maisie.

  “Beatrice, please.”

  She sighed. She could hardly disobey Maisie and she went to the woman’s side, waited for her to shift so Beatrice could discreetly look at the wound.

  “It’s looking very good.”

  “Are the edges mended together? No open areas?”

  “Yes and no.” She answered several more questions.

  “Good, then it’s safe to get up. Otherwise I’m going to get as stiff as a board.”

  Beatrice admired her for taking her time and moving cautiously. After she returned to her chair, Maisie had Beatrice check the wound again to see if there was any sign of bleeding. There wasn’t.

  “Good. That means it’s okay for me to be up a little bit.”

  Beatrice wondered how long she meant to keep her activity a secret from her husband. Her question was answered at the noon meal.

  Maisie smiled across table. “I got up and walked around this morning.”

  “What?” Big Sam roared and came to his feet.

  Levi looked at Beatrice then, his brow raise
d in disbelief as if to ask how she could have let it happen. How she could be so bold as to challenge his pa and put his mother in danger.

  Big Sam turned to Beatrice. “Why didn’t you stop her?”

  Maisie laughed softly. “Do you really think she could?”

  Big Sam settled back in his chair. “No, but I do expect you to listen to me.”

  “If I listened to you I would be in this chair for a year. I didn’t do anything foolish. I had Beatrice look at my wound both before and after I was up. She assures me there was no change. I promise I will take it easy, but Sam, I will not let you turn me into an invalid.”

  Maisie gave Levi an equally penetrating look. “Nor you, either, son.”

  Both men looked a little sheepish.

  “Now then, that’s settled.” Maisie seemed quite pleased with herself.

  Beatrice contemplated the event as she did the dishes. Had Maisie always been so confident in confronting Big Sam?

  After dinner, Maisie got up again and insisted on helping with some of the work. Beatrice would not be needed much longer at the ranch.

  “Let’s go outside,” she said to Dolly and took her hand. They both faced an uncertain future.

  * * *

  Levi had to stay away from home. He was thinking of Beatrice far too often and far too long. The fact the intruders had done nothing for the past few days provided the perfect excuse.

  “Pa, I think I should have a look around and see if I can spot these fellas. I might take along my bedroll in case I end up too far to return.”

  Big Sam had given him a moment’s hard study. “For a week you would hardly leave the place. I had to send Charlie to check on the line cabins to the north. Now you want to go. Might this have anything to do with the way Beatrice jerks her gaze away from you so fast?” He didn’t give Levi a chance to answer. “Son, you can’t keep running from your feelings.”

  Levi swallowed back a hot reply. “Didn’t I say I was going to look for those men that have been causing trouble?”

  “Yup, you did. Go ahead. Don’t stay away too long.”

  “I won’t.” But even as he said it he knew he would find an excuse to stay away.