Warriors in Winter

by Michelle Willingham

  ‘She’s tired, Connor,’ her mother intervened. ‘Let her be, and give thanks that she’s home safely.’ Aileen stood and kissed her husband lightly, silently drawing his attention away. She was grateful for it, but her mother sent her a warning look that the questioning was not yet over. Even so, Connor took his wife’s hand and took her away with him.

  There was an unfailing love between them, and she envied that. She’d grown older over the years, but never had any man looked at her the way her father viewed her mother. It was as if Aileen were the missing part of himself and he would never be whole without her.

  Had it been that way between Kaall and Lína? Though he’d said the woman hadn’t wed him, it was clear that he’d loved her once. They’d even had a child together.

  Jealous feelings slid inside her, while she wondered if Kaall pined for the woman still. The memory of his handsome face and the brooding pain in his eyes, made her want to heal the empty spaces in his heart. Even if it came to nothing.

  Her cousin Brianna beckoned to her, and as she started to join her, she caught sight of the queen inspecting the decorations. If anyone had seen Kaall’s daughter, it was Isabel.

  She hurried to her aunt’s side and saw the queen’s relief that she was unharmed. ‘Your father was pacing ever since he learned you were gone,’ Isabel admitted. ‘I know he was glad you returned.’ Her hand moved to her waist, her complexion going pale as if she remembered the worry.

  Rhiannon nodded, and then asked, ‘Isabel, was there a young girl called Emla who was brought here for fostering?’

  The queen frowned and nodded. ‘Several months ago, the Hardrata chief brought her to us. She went to England to be fostered with Sir Ademar and Lady Katherine of Dolwyth.’

  So far away. Rhiannon’s spirits sank, for it was doubtful Kaall would see the girl again. ‘Will she return?’

  Her aunt shrugged. ‘It’s possible they might come tovisit at Christmas, but we’ve received no word of it. Why do you ask?’

  ‘Someone asked me about her and wondered if she was well and happy’ was all she could say.

  The queen seemed to accept this, and as Rhiannon continued walking through the Hall, she wondered how she could possibly tell Kaall that his daughter now lived across the sea.

  ‘Rhiannon,’ her cousin called out to her. ‘Come and help me with the garlands.’

  It was certain that the young woman would want to know the true story of what had happened while she was gone. She crossed the room and reached into Brianna’s basket, handing her a piece of greenery. The vivid scent of pine emanated from the branches, a scent that reminded her of the solstice this night and the forthcoming Christmas celebration in a few days. Her cousin was tucking sprigs of mistletoe into the greenery, and Rhiannon knew that many of her tribesmen and women would steal kisses this night. Her mind drifted to thoughts of Kaall, and though she tried to shut away the futile yearning, she couldn’t deny that she wanted to see him again.

  ‘I’m so glad you’re all right,’ her cousin whispered. ‘You met someone, didn’t you?’

  The pine bough dug into her hand as she pondered what to say—especially since that someone was responsible for killing Brianna’s husband. Though she wanted to confide in the young woman, as they had done since they were girls, she could not tell her about Kaall.

  ‘I was lost in the forest, and he rescued me,’ she admitted. ‘It was too dark to find my way back, so I stayed with him.’

  She risked a glance at Brianna and saw the conspiratorial smile. But if her cousin knew the truth, she would be furious. Rhiannon turned her gaze back to the branches, pretending as though it were nothing.

  ‘Was he handsome?’ Brianna prompted.

  Handsome, yes. And despite his blindness, she’d been irrevocably drawn to him. Each time he’d kissed her, she’d found herself craving more. His vow, that he wanted to spend a night learning her body by touch, took her breath away.

  ‘He was...like no one I’ve ever met before.’ He’d awakened her to new feelings, and though she was frightened, she was determined to help him. Now that she knew where his daughter was, she intended to share the news with him.

  Which meant going back. She swallowed hard, remembering what he’d said: If you do...I’m going to claim you as mine.

  God help her, she wanted that. He’d granted her freedom, giving her the choice to leave him. But the thought of never seeing him again left behind the bitter taste of regret. She simply couldn’t do it.

  ‘I’m going to see him again. I don’t care what anyone says.’ As soon as she spoke the words, she felt the rightness of them. So many others had turned their backs on Kaall, seeing only his blindness and not his strength. But she saw far more than that. He was a man of honour, a man who made her feel alive.

  ‘I’ll give you my help,’ Brianna promised, ‘if you’ll tell me who he is and where you were.’

  Rhiannon reached for another pine branch, steadying her nerves. ‘I can’t tell you. You wouldn’t approve of him. Nor would anyone else.’

  ‘Then why risk it? You only just met him.’

  ‘Sometimes a few nights is all it takes.’ The words came out without thought, but it was true. Despite the past, she did care about what happened to Kaall. He’d saved her life and had been wounded as a result. And though she couldn’t know if they would have a future together, she wanted to return. Even if it could only be for a short time.

  ‘He needs me,’ she told her cousin. ‘Like no one ever has.’ Her cheeks flushed, and she sent her a soft smile before returning outside.

  * * *

  ‘She wasn’t there.’

  The voice of Rhiannon cut through the darkness. Kaall didn’t move or speak. His body was freezing cold, for it had taken most of the morning and early afternoon to find his way back to the cavern. After he’d arrived, he hadn’t bothered to build a fire.

  ‘Kaall?’ came Rhiannon’s voice, as she pushed the hide aside. ‘It’s dark and freezing in here. Are you all right?’

  He stood up, his hands and feet numb. For a moment, his mind clouded with confusion, and he didn’t know if he was dreaming. ‘Why did you come back?’

  ‘I have news about Emla.’ Her voice was soft, almost tentative as she spoke. ‘I thought you might want to know.’

  ‘Did you learn where they took her?’ The fervent hope, that his daughter might be near, caught him, and he took a step toward Rhiannon.

  ‘Let me build a fire, and I’ll tell you everything.’

  Her hesitation didn’t mean good news. His spirits descended as she pulled back the hide covering to allow light into the cavern. She gathered peat and tinder, then struck flint, struggling to make a spark. When she muttered words of frustration, he took hesitant steps until he found her. He covered her hands with his own. ‘Strike harder, Rhiannon. As if you mean it.’

  He took the stone and blade from her, and though he could not see the spark, he smelled the flare of smoke as it caught upon the tinder. He moved closer, giving it breath until he felt the warmth of a tiny flame. Rhiannon fed more tinder, and eventually, he layered the peat on top.

  ‘She’s in England,’ she said quietly. ‘I don’t know when they will return with her. My aunt’s sister is fostering her.’

  England. He closed his eyes, unable to fathom how far away she’d gone. Emla was now living with strangers in a land she’d never seen, and they likely spoke a language she’d never heard.

  ‘I have to bring her back, Rhiannon.’

  ‘I know.’ Her hand moved to touch his, and he felt the assurance of her fingers squeezing his palm. ‘If I can, I’ll send word on your behalf.’

  Was she truly so innocent to believe that her family members would simply hand his daughter back to him?

  ‘They won’t do it. Not after what happened last winter,’ he reminded her.

  ‘I could hide it from them,’ she offered. ‘They don’t have to see your face. And Katherine and Sir Ademar aren’t the sort of people who woul
d deny a father his child.’

  They would if they knew the truth, he thought. ‘It isn’t that easy.’

  ‘Don’t you want her back?’ she fired back.

  ‘Yes, but—’

  ‘Then for God’s sake, stop pitying yourself and fight for Emla! Demand that they give her back to you. If they deny you because of Murtagh’s death, then tell them the truth about what happened!’

  Her vehemence surprised him. ‘Why do you care so much, kjære?’

  ‘Because she’s a little girl, being kept from her father,’ she said softly. ‘For so many years, I didn’t know my father, either.’

  The regret in her voice touched him, and he sensed that Rhiannon was as lonely as he was.

  The cool winter air swept inside the cavern, though the fire was beginning to warm the interior. ‘Your hands are cold,’ Rhiannon said, rubbing his palms between hers.

  The motion, though innocent, was stirring up his own thoughts, and he caught her fingers in his. ‘Thank you for telling me what happened to Emla.’

  ‘You’re welcome.’ She moved to sit beside him, her knee resting against his thigh. ‘I wish I could have brought her to you today.’

  Rhiannon had a soft heart, and though she’d risked a great deal by coming here, he was grateful she had. At least now he knew where Emla was.

  The warning voice inside his head reminded him that it wasn’t at all wise to keep Rhiannon here. The touch of her fingers upon his, the nearness of her body, was already making him want more.

  ‘You should go,’ he said. ‘Your family will want to know where you are.’

  ‘Tonight is the solstice,’ she said. ‘There will be feasting and...’ Her voice drifted off, holding a slight note of embarrassment.

  ‘And what?’

  She gave a rueful laugh. ‘Let us just say that there will be more MacEgans born next autumn. No one will even notice I’m gone.’

  A flare of interest rose within him, for he wouldn’t mind sharing this night with her. Exploring her soft skin, learning the curves of her body.

  ‘Will you walk with me before the sun sets?’

  ‘Where?’ He took her hand, guessing that she likely intended to return home.

  ‘Just outside, through the woods.’

  The fire had warmed the space, and right now Kaall welcomed the crisp air to clear his mind. In answer, he led her outside the cavern.

  Rhiannon guided him through the forest, her warm palm in his. ‘It’s beautiful outside,’ she said. ‘The tree branches froze last night with ice, and it looks enchanted.’ His fingers laced tighter with hers, and as they walked, she described the colours and shapes to him. Once, she brought his hand to a frozen branch, letting him touch the cool feathered shape. ‘It’s like silver.’

  When they reached the centre of the woods, she stopped and took his knife from his belt. ‘I spent time this morning, helping my cousin decorate the Great Chamber for Christmas. We hung pine branches everywhere, and there will be candles.’ She handed him pieces of greenery, and the sharp scent brought back memories of his own childhood.

  ‘Why are you giving these to me?’ No woman had ever done anything like this for him, and he grew wary of her intentions.

  ‘Because we’ll decorate your home for the solstice tonight. You might not see it, but you’ll be able to smell the evergreen branches. It might brighten up the space.’

  He wanted to argue with her that she didn’t need to bother with it. But from the joy and anticipation in her voice, he found he couldn’t deny her the pleasure. If it made her happy, it didn’t matter.

  But the longer she worked, the more he came to understand that she wasn’t planning to leave him tonight. And though he ought to protest and force her to go back, he held back the words. Instead, he kept the branches for her while she continued talking and leading him through the woods.

  After an hour, she said, ‘I think that’s enough. Come with me, and we’ll hang them within the cave.’

  Her hand rested upon his arm, guiding him through the trees until he smelled the scent of smoke from his hearth fire. Kaall stopped at the entrance, setting the branches down in the snow. ‘Why are you doing this, Rhiannon?’

  ‘I thought you could use something beautiful in your life.’

  Disbelief tightened within him. When he reached her side, he moved his hand up to her face, his thumb stroking her cheek. ‘I don’t deserve beauty, after all that I’ve done, kjære.’

  ‘Don’t you?’

  He rested his face against the softness of hers. ‘No.’

  Rhiannon didn’t move, and for a moment, they shared the same breath, standing so near to each other. ‘It’s growing darker outside.’

  He knew it. With each day of winter, the warmth of the sun had departed a little more, until now he could feel the coming of night upon the air. ‘I suppose you’ll want to celebrate the solstice with your family.’

  But she said nothing, reaching down to retrieve the branches. ‘Will you help me hang the greenery? I could find some vines to tie it up, and we’ll use rocks to secure it.’

  Before he could speak a word, she pulled him inside, guiding him near the fire to get warm. ‘I’ll go and get some vines now. Wait for me.’

  In her absence, Kaall gathered up more peat and rebuilt the fire. She’d chosen to stay, once again. He’d given her every opportunity to go, to be with her family instead of him.

  But she hadn’t left. And both of them knew what would happen in the hours ahead. Anticipation coursed through him, mingled with a fierce desire. For this night, he wanted to be with her, to learn her body so well, he might touch her heart.

  Rhiannon returned a few moments later, and said, ‘I found them. Hand the branches to me, one by one, and I’ll tie them into garlands.’

  * * *

  Over the next hour, she talked steadily, filling the empty space with her voice. It didn’t bother him; in fact, it alleviated the emptiness of his dwelling. Before long, she’d finished, and brought him over to help hold the garland in place.

  ‘I’ll secure it with stones, and you keep it there until I tell you to let go.’

  He obeyed, and the pine scent emanated a sharp fragrance. Rhiannon laid stone after stone upon the branches, every arm length, and when she’d set down the last one, he trapped her in his arms, against the cool stone. From behind her, the scent of pine intertwined with her own unique scent.

  ‘What is it?’ she whispered.

  He framed her face, threading his fingers into her hair. ‘Why didn’t you go when I asked you to?’

  She leaned her forehead against his. ‘Because I didn’t want to leave.’

  Kaall stood motionless while her arms came around his waist. At her touch, he voiced the warning she needed to hear. ‘You deserve better than this.’

  She raised her fingertips to his mouth, silencing him. ‘No man ever defended me, the way you did against Hromund. It was my choice to return.’ She raised her hand to rest upon his chest. ‘Tell me now if you don’t want me to stay.’

  He covered her hand, though he could never understand why this beautiful woman would want to be with him. ‘What I want has nothing to do with what is right.’ He couldn’t ask this of her, no matter what he’d said before.

  ‘You still love Lína, don’t you?’ she whispered.

  He was about to say yes, but the words were untrue. Lína had not been like the others, for she’d treated him as a man instead of an outcast. And because of it, he’d idolised her.

  But he’d known she hadn’t loved him. Nor had she ever wanted him or sought his company. He’d simply been there in the background, dreaming of the day when she might change her mind. She never had.

  ‘I did once,’ he admitted. He held her hand and drew it down to her side so she wouldn’t see the effect she was having upon him. For so long, women had turned away from him. And now that Rhiannon was here, offering herself, he couldn’t accept a gift that would damage her in the eyes of the man she would on
e day wed.

  ‘But—’

  He cut her off by touching his fingers to her lips. Rhiannon deserved to know the truth. ‘Lína was a good woman, but we were never more than friends. She wed another man.’ He let his fingers fall from her lips, and she remained silent.

  ‘Emla is not my daughter by blood. When Lína died last year, I took her child into my home and cared for her. I held Emla when she cried and did the best I could. But after the raid, they believed I would hurt her without meaning to. I couldn’t stop them, because I had no right to. I’m not her real father.’

  ‘What happened to him?’

  ‘He died in a small battle, northeast of here. The last time Emla saw him, she was hardly more than a year old.’

  Rhiannon moved into his arms, holding him tight. Against his heart, he felt the wetness of her tears. ‘You were her father when it mattered most. When she needed you.’

  He nodded, lowering his mouth to her hair. Although he’d only lived with Emla for a year, the young girl had become such a part of his life, the loss of her had carved a hole inside of him. ‘Now you know why the MacEgans will never give her back to me. Because she’s not mine.’

  ‘Even so, we’ll try,’ she whispered.

  He brushed his hands over her cheeks and felt the wetness of her tears. ‘Why do you weep for me?’

  ‘You’re a good man. And you should have had your own wife and children, long before now.’

  ‘It wasn’t meant to be, kjære.’

  Her cool hands covered his. ‘If you’d lived among my tribe, would you have ever courted me? Or asked my father’s permission?’

  ‘If I’d had my sight like most men, I would already have claimed you as mine. No matter what your father thought.’ Her body was growing warmer, and he drew her hips against his, letting her feel his desire. ‘I’d have stolen you from them.’

  ‘And if I were your captive,’ she breathed, ‘what would you do with me?’

  Her words held the innocence of a woman untouched and the promise of sensuality. ‘I wouldn’t stop with a kiss, Rhiannon.’

  His hand wound into her hair, drawing her closer. Softly, he nipped at her lips, tasting her sweet skin. ‘I’d torment you, touching you everywhere.’