Lyin' Like a Dog, The Yankee Doctor, The Danged Swamp! 3-Volume set

by Richard Mason

  “Wait a minute Richard, there’s a big sledgehammer right across the street in the switchin’ house that the railroad men use to hammer open the track switch. Let me go get it.”

  “Dang, John Clayton, what are you gonna do, destroy this desk?”

  “Yeah, if it takes it, to keep outta reform school I’m gonna beat this desk to a pulp.” He slipped out the front door and dashed across the street to the switching shed, and in less than five minutes he was back with the hammer.

  “Stand back and let me at that desk.”

  John Clayton drew back and the first blow splintered the front of the drawer. Several more blows and the drawer and the better part of the desk was in splinters. Shoot, when I saw that desk busted and beat-up, I knew for durn sure that we’d better find something big-time bad, or there wouldn’t be a doubt in the world that we’d be on that bus to Texarkana tomorrow. John Clayton stepped back and put the sledgehammer down.

  “Okay, Richard, let’s see what in the drawer.”

  We slowly pulled some files and papers through the splintered front of the drawer. Nothing, nothing, and then; “Wait a minute! Look, look, at this black book.”

  It was about ten inches tall and six inches wide, and it had a little strap that came around the front and slipped into a slot where there was a small keyhole.

  “It’s a locked book!”

  “It ain’t gonna be for long!” yelled John Clayton. He slammed the hammer down on the tiny lock, and busted it all to heck.

  I grabbed the little book and started looking through it, and on the front page was a list of ladies’ names, and then beside each name the date was noted, and there was a dollar amount and a “charged” or “paid” beside them. About halfway down I spotted the name “Emma Riley.” Look John Clayton, it’s Miss Emma! Her name’s right here!” We sat there on the floor with our headlights on the book turning through the pages. After the pages with the ladies’ names, there were names of a lot of men, numbers out by their names, and then beside the number some more amounts of money, then “paid” or “charged”.

  “This is it, John Clayton; come on let’s go!” We jumped up and I put the little book under my arm, and we started for the door. Then we heard somebody.

  “Damn, Tina, this door is unlocked.”

  “Richard, hide the book, quick!”

  I turned around and stuck it under the seat of a little couch that was in Doctor Carl’s waiting room. Then all of a sudden the lights came on, and there was Doctor Carl and Miss Tina standing in the door.

  “What? What are you boys doing here?” said Doctor Carl.

  “Ha, well, we caught you little thieves red-handed!” yelled Miss Tina.

  “You’re damn right we caught ’em, and if one of you moves, I’ll blow your head off,” said Doctor Carl. Oh, my god! He’d pulled a pistol and was pointing it at us.

  “Oh, what have you done to my desk? Tina, look at my desk. They’ve smashed it!―Just a minute, you boys sit on the floor while I check things out. Tina, the record book’s gone! Where’s that book, boys? Tell me or I’m goin’ to shoot both of you!”

  Shoot us? My gosh, I nearly swallowed my tongue, but I managed to choke out a little quick lie: “We haven’t seen any book. We just got the drawer open when you came in. I promise, cross my heart, and hope to die.”

  My gosh, that sorry man looked so mean and he got closer with that gun. I thought we were goners. John Clayton was so white I thought he was already a ghost. But before Doctor Carl pulled the trigger, Miss Tina said,” Wait a minute Carl; maybe you took it home. These kids haven’t gotten out of this office, and they don’t have the book.”

  I started breathing again.

  “Hummm,” said Doctor Carl, “well, maybe, but I sure thought I left it here. Hell, it won’t make any difference. These boys sure aren’t going to tell anybody anything. Tina, get that tape out of the closet and tape up their hands and feet.”

  While Doctor Carl held the gun on us, Miss Tina taped up our hands and feet where we couldn’t move, and then he put a bandage over our mouths and laughed.

  “Well, boys, you started messing around with something that you shouldn’t have fooled around with, and now you’re finished.”

  Oh my gosh, we’re goners! When Doctor Carl said that, he walked out and in a minute he came back in with two shot needles. He reached over and gave John Clayton a shot, and in a few seconds John Clayton was out like a light. Heck, I was so scared I stopped breathing again and my eyes was just a-fluttering. Then he looked over at me and took the second needle out, but just before he stuck me he stood up and said, “I think, that just for the fun of it, you should know what’s about to happen to you and your little criminal friend.” He smiled and looked over at Miss Tina. “Tina, do you think these boys can swim when they’re unconscious? You know, they’re pretty resourceful, but not that resourceful.” Then he looked down at me and said. “Kid, we’re goin’ to put you to sleep, and then drive down to Flat Creek Swamp, cut that tape off of you, and throw you in that big bar pit. Hell, you spend so much time down there everybody in town will think you boys just drowned accidentally.”

  Oh my gosh, he’s right! Everybody will think me and John Clayton just accidentally drowned while we were frog gigging.

  John Clayton was sprawled out on floor, and I knew if someone threw him in Flat Creek, he’d be dead as a hammer in five minutes. I jerked and started to yell, but Doctor Carl grabbed my shoulder and I felt the sting of the needle as I sank into a heap beside John Clayton.

  ***

  The next thing I remember is someone putting a cold rag on my face and talking real loud in my ear. I slowly sat up and looked around. The sheriff’, a state trooper, and Peg were standing there along with Doctor Carl and Miss Tina, and I heard Doctor Carl say, “Of course they’re okay. I just sedated them so I could bring them to the Sheriff’s Office.”

  “The hell you did,” said Peg. “When we pulled up you were taking John Clayton outta the trunk, and you were gonna throw him in Flat Creek.”

  “Oh, no, that’s preposterous officer. I was just checking on him to be sure he wasn’t in any trouble, and I had them in the trunk because I was afraid they might get loose on my way to the Sheriff’s Office.”

  My head was clearing now and John Clayton had sat up. Evidently Doctor Carl had told everybody he’d made a citizen’s arrest, and he was taking us to the Sheriff’s Office when Peg and the state trooper spotted them stopped on the highway at the big Flat Creek bar pit.

  Then Doctor Carl went on talking: “Sheriff, do your duty. I’m charging these two with breaking and entering my office and destroying my desk.”

  The sheriff, who didn’t know what to do, finally told us to sit on one of the long benches while he called the judge and our parents.

  “Sir,” I said, “could I please talk with Mr. Peg for just a minute, in private?”

  “Well, I guess that won’t hurt none. Y’all go in that office over there, and I’ll go call the judge.”

  Me and Peg went into the Sheriff’s Office and Peg grabbed me. “Hell, Richard, I read your letter, went straight to the State Police, and we looked all over town for y’all, and you’re damn lucky we just happened to find Doctor Carl when he was just ’bout to throw John Clayton in Flat Creek, but hell, Richard, that son-of-a-bitch is gonna lie his way out of it. We can’t prove a damn thing.”

  “Yes, we can Peg! Yes we can!” Then I went over every detail of the break-in, jumped to my feet and said, “Peg, I’ve seen the record book with all the names of the women and men with money out beside their names, and I stuck it under a sofa seat in Doctor Carl’s office!”

  “Hell, Richard, we gotta get that record book right now!”

  Peg walked to the door and motioned for the State Trooper to come into the office, and I told my story again and the officer nodded his head. In a few minutes the judge arrived and after talking with the state trooper, he called me over and questioned me about the little book. I told him
everything, and he said to the state trooper: “Here’s your search warrant. Take the boy with you, and I’ll have the sheriff hold the doctor and his nurse until you get back.”

  In a few minutes we pulled up at Doctor Carl’s office, and I ran in, reached under the seat, and pulled out the record book.

  “Here it is sir, and look at these names and all the money out beside them.”

  The state trooper took one look at the book, and we headed back for the courthouse. When we walked in, our folks were waiting.

  “Oh my god, Richard, what on earth have you done now?” Momma said as she started to cry. Daddy had been over talking to the sheriff, and he walked back up and said to Momma, “Richard and John Clayton broke into Doctor Donaldson’s office, and he caught them. He was taking them to the Sheriff’s Office when Peg and a state trooper found them stopped on the highway near Flat Creek. Peg said Doctor Carl was trying to get rid of the boys.”

  “What?” Momma screamed out.

  “Sue, calm down, the boys are okay. The sheriff said something about the state trooper going to get a record book Richard found to see if it had anything to do with this mess.”

  “Come on, boys, the judge wants to see everyone in the courtroom,” said the state trooper. We all walked in and sat down, and the officer handed the record book to the judge. After he looked through the book, he asked Doctor Carl to come forward.

  “Doctor Donaldson, this young man has told me a rather convincing story about what’s been going on in your office late at night, and then a state trooper finds you with these two boys in the trunk of your car stopped on the edge of Flat Creek And, finally, this record book seems to show transactions between a lot of women and men. What have you got to say for yourself?”

  “Judge, you are exactly right about me having these boys taped up. I arrested them after they had just broken into my office and smashed an eight-hundred-dollar desk. I was on my way here when I stopped on the road to check on them, and now you tell me my patient record book is something sinister? Judge, that book is a record of my patients. You know how hard times are. I keep this confidential where I can personally meet with each patient, and if they are having financial difficulties then I forgive their debts. Just note on the edge of the page. By some of the names it says, “In kind services.” That means these patients have preformed some community service, and I have credited their account. This is just a patient record book, Judge.”

  Well, the more he talked the sicker I got. That danged Doctor Carl was gonna get off with nothing, and now the judge was probably going to charge me and John Clayton with everything that you can imagine. We had had it big time, and we was gonna be on the next bus to Texarkana. I dropped my head in my lap so depressed I couldn’t believe it. The judge looked puzzled, and after Doctor Carl’s long-winded talk, I could tell he wasn’t gonna charge him with nothing. In fact, after Doctor Carl sat down, he turned and looked at us; “Richard Mason, John Clayton Reed, approach the bench.”

  He looked at us for a minute and shook his head; “Boys, you’ve let your imagination get the best of you. There’s nothing in this book that convinces me Doctor Donaldson is up to anything illegal.”

  Our head were just sinking into our chest, and I could see that sorry Miss Tina smiling and nodding her head. I just knew the next words were gonna be, “off to reform school.”

  The judge continued on and on about what all we’d done and how even though Doctor Carl had taped our hands, he was making a citizen’s arrest and that was proper. He was finishing up, and I was bracing myself for those dreaded word. He closed by saying, “Boys, you might have imagined these patients listed in this record book were a list of illegal transactions, but there is absolutely no evidence that this is the case. You boys have caused everyone here a lot of trouble. There is nothing that backs up your assertions. Now, I regret having to do this, but you give me no choice.”

  “Oh, no,” I whispered. “Reform school!” I could hear Momma starting to cry again.

  “Judge, may I say something?” It was a lady from the back of the room, and everybody turned around to see who it was. My gosh, it was Miss Emma from the Randolph Hotel. I couldn’t say a word, I was so shocked. What was Miss Emma doing here, and why did she want to say something to the judge?

  The judge looked up a little startled and said, “Miss, approach the bench.”

  Miss Emma walked up to where the judge was sitting and stood there.

  “Miss, uh what is your name?”

  “My name is Emma Riley.”

  “Miss Riley, this is a hearing about two boys breaking into a doctor’s office and accusing him … oh well, do you have something to add to this hearing?”

  “Yes, your honor. My name is in that record book, and I am not a patient of Doctor Donaldson.”

  “What?”

  “Yes, your honor, my name is in that book. Just check for yourself.”

  The judge opened the record book and ran his finger down the list of ladies on the first page.

  “Hummm … yes, Emma Riley.”

  “Judge, I’m in Doctor Donaldson’s record book because I’m a prostitute, and I have been working every Friday and Saturday night in Doctor Donaldson’s office, and the other girls named are also prostitutes. The names of the men listed are men that either used the services of the girls or Doctor Donaldson sold them drugs.”

  “She’s lying! She’s lying!” yelled Doctor Carl.

  “Order! Order in the court!” The judge banged his little wooden hammer down real hard and kinda shook it at Doctor Carl.

  The judge questioned Miss Emma for a long time, and then he asked her, “Miss Riley, are you willing to testify in a court of law what you have told me tonight?”

  “Yes, your honor, and I have two girl friends that will back up my testimony.”

  Then the judge looked across at Doctor Carl and Miss Tina and said: “Prepare an arrest warrant and lock these two up in lieu of fifty thousand dollars bail.”

  Gosh, me and John Clayton were so surprised at everything that we just stood there with our mouths open.

  The judge looked down at us still standing there in shock and said, “Richard, you and John Clayton go home with your parents. And boys, I really don’t want to see you back here ever again.”

  “Yes sir, you won’t. I promise, cross my heart, and hope to die.” I said.

  As we walked away, Miss Emma reached down and hugged me and whispered in my ear, “Richard, Peg called me, and when he told me what you boys had done, trying to keep from going to reform school, I decided that I couldn’t keep quiet any longer.”

  Daddy stayed back because he and Miss Emma were kinda friends, and Momma really didn’t approve, but Momma finally rushed up and hugged Miss Emma and said, “Emma you’re a brave woman. Thank you so much.”

  Gosh, I was still in shock as I walked to our car. Heck, everything had happened so fast my head was still swimming. Well, riding home listening to Momma and Daddy apologizing for not believing me was sure fun, and I just sat back saying, “I told you so, uh, huh, uh huh.”

  That night I leaned back on my pillow and thought about everything that had happened to me and John Clayton and just shook my head. Then I thought of something: Yeah, I’ve got one more thing to do. I drifted off to sleep and it only seemed minutes until I was down at the newsstand rolling my papers.

  “Well, Doc, I told you that sorry doctor was up to no good.” I held the paper up for Doc to see the big headlines—NORPHLET DOCTOR ARRESTED!–and he grumbled, but he did kinda nod his head. I stuffed the papers in my bag and pointed to the clock over Doc’s desk; “It’s five after five, Doc, and I’m going for the record. Shoot, I’ve never felt so good in my whole, entire life and I was outta that door running down Main Street in seconds. When I turned up Front Street after making my rounds on the north side of the railroad tracks, I kicked into high gear and burst into the newsstand pointing at the clock.

  “Look Doc―it’s five forty-five! I’ve set a ne
w world record by a whole five minutes!”

  Let me tell you something right now: That walk over to the cash register was really fun, because Doc is so stingy he don’t like to give nothing away. I picked up the big Baby Ruth candy bar and walked out the door chomping down on the best breakfast I’ve ever had. Outta of trouble! Yeah, and nothing in this whole, entire world can upset me now.

  But I was danged sure wrong about that.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Thanksgiving Surprise

  Thanksgiving Day, 1945

  Yeah, I remember that durn Thanksgiving really, really good, and shoot, who wouldn’t? It started out real quiet. Heck, I thought it was just gonna be one of them dress-up and eat days and that'd be it. Well, I was sure wrong. Dang, that day just went all haywire and none of it was my fault—uh, well, maybe a little bit of it was, but sometimes I get blamed for stuff that just happens, and that’s exactly why I remember that Thanksgiving Day.

  Heck, that morning I was just laid out in our front porch swing minding my own business, just reading a funny book, when I heard the wildest howling you’ve ever heard in your whole, entire life. ‘Course I just flew outta that swing, chunked my “Captain Marvel” funny book down and ran over to the edge of the porch. Yep, just as I thought, old, worthless Sniffer, my skinny, mixed-breed hound was howling and having a hissy fit, and I could see him running around an old hollow log just across the peach orchard’s barbed wire fence. Talk about a wild and crazy dog; you ain't never seen one more worked up.

  Something has come up out of the swamp, and old Sniffer has got it treed in that hollow log! I thought. ‘Course, I was just about to hightail it over to the peach orchard to check it out, but then I had one of them "watch out boy, you 'bout to get in trouble!" thoughts. Shoot, I really wanted to get off that front porch, but, heck, I knew there weren’t no way on God’s green earth I was gonna leave. I was stuck in the house because it was Thanksgiving Day, and Momma was gonna make sure I’d be clean for dinner. Yeah, I had my washtub bath last night, and this morning I put on my good white shirt, long pants and new Sunday shoes, and combed my hair. Well, I looked like I was all slicked up and ready for church, but, shoot, I wasn’t going nowheres but to the dining room table.