Mira

by Leighann Phoenix

  Rillan checked the bath water, finding it warm enough, he returned to her bedside and lifted her carefully into his arms. He carried her cold body to the water and lowered her into the tub, ignoring the water that splashed over the edge and soaked his shirt and pants. He propped her securely in the tub and left her to warm up while he pulled the blankets and sheets from the bed and replaced them with clean ones.

  Mira was still unconscious, when he returned to her. Rillan sighed and picked up the rose scented soap he left for her last week. He rubbed the soap in a soft cloth, then held her with one arm while he gently ran the cloth over her back and arms. He leaned her back against the tub again and stroked the soapy cloth over her breasts, smiling when she took in a deep breath as if she were enjoying what he was doing. His hand seemed to lose the cloth momentarily, as he dipped beneath the water to clean her sex. Rillan cradled her with one arm, while the fingers of the opposite hand combed through the hair covering her mound and then caressed the folds of her pussy. He couldn’t help remembering how she tasted. Mira moaned softly, and he turned his eyes on her face to see if she was awake, but there was nothing.

  Rillan sighed again and pulled is hand from her body. The part of his mind that told him he shouldn’t be molesting an unconscious woman was winning out over the part of his mind that told him she belonged to him and he could do as he liked with her. He washed her hair, and found the bump that told him exactly how hard she hit her head when she fell. He growled at himself for not having checked on her sooner and carefully rinsed the soap from her hair.

  Rillan grabbed a towel from the chair near the tub. Lifting her, he wrapped her in the in the soft material before carrying her back to her bed. He found a soft white shift from the chest at the foot of her bed and dressed her. Laying her back on her pillows, he pulled the blankets over her, and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

  Lastly, he went to her store room with the larder and found some dried meat and vegetables. Taking them back to the fire, he pulled the small pot from the brackets and filled it with the ingredients. Rillan wasn’t a great cook, but he knew that she would need to eat when she woke up. He placed the pot back on the brackets and swung it into the fire.

  With a last look over at the angel lying in the bed, Rillan decided he would go change out of his wet clothes, get himself cleaned up, and then come back to check on her before he got some sleep. The worst was over. The more she slept, the better she would feel. That thought didn’t stop him from feeling guilty for what he did. He knew very well that it didn’t have to go that far. He was frustrated by Mira and was trying to scare her. Obviously it backfired. Or maybe it didn’t. When she wakes, she may very well be terrified of the monster that hurt her. At least this time I know that I can’t blame anyone except myself for it. To some extent, he thought, it might be better that way. Fear is what I’m used to. This one is getting to me far too much.

  * * * *

  Mira rolled onto her side and pulled a pillow to her chest, cuddling down into the soft silky blankets. Slowly, she started to remember the last time she was awake. The room smelled of stew or soup or something good. Her stomach growled. Mira opened her eyes and stretched, wondering if it had all been a dream. She still felt sore, but it was nothing like what she remembered.

  A dull ache throbbed in Mira’s skull. Sitting up, she lifted her hand to the side of her head, where she found a tender knot the size of a small egg. Proof that it wasn’t a dream. At least my legs are working this time, she thought, and inched to the edge of the bed. It didn’t take near the effort that it had before. She noticed that her robe was across the foot of the bed, and she pulled it on over a shift she didn’t remember putting on. Looking around the room, she saw that her rugs were gone, and her pitcher was different. He must have come in and cleaned everything up while I was unconscious, she thought uncertainly.

  Mira made her way over to the fire, found a bowl and spoon, and carefully scooped some of the meaty broth out of the pot. The stones were cold under her feet and sent a chill through her. I wonder if he’ll replace the rugs. They made a big difference. She sat down in the chair at the small table in her room and ate slowly. It wasn’t great stew, but she instantly felt better as it filled her empty stomach.

  Rillan watched from the shadows, as Mira got up and made herself a bowl of stew. She was obviously unsteady, but relief coursed through him, with the certainty that she would be okay. He slunk into the darkness and quietly opened her storeroom, removed a loaf of bread and some cheese, then crept back. She was sitting with her eyes closed, chewing a small bite of stew. Her head must still hurt, he thought.

  Indecision halted his steps. He didn’t want to upset her, but he wanted to know how she was going to be with him now. He could wait until she came looking for him again, but his guilty conscience would gnaw at him until he apologized. He growled at himself. He would feel even worse, if he went in to talk to her and only made her upset in addition to having made her sick. Finally, he began to annoy himself again. When did I stop being a man with women, he asked himself in frustration. He strode into the room and cleared his throat, so that she would hear him coming.

  Mira jumped at the sudden strange noise assaulting her ears over the sound of the crackling fire. Rillan flinched, when she reacted to his approach with fear. He was already anticipating her screaming, when she looked at him. To his surprise, when Mira turned, and her eyes met his, she gave him a solid glare, which spoke of any number of emotions, none having anything to do with fear.

  “A gentleman knocks to announce his presence. I don’t appreciate being snuck up on, Lord Tiernay,” Mira said, in a quiet, but authoritative tone reflective of her pounding headache.

  Rillan couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face at the glare and reprimand.

  “I’m glad you find it amusing,” she growled angrily and went back to her stew.

  Rillan sat the bread and cheese on the table in front of her. “Do you want some tea,” he suggested. Without waiting for an answer, he went over to the fire, poured some water from the new pitcher into the cast iron kettle and placed it in the fire.

  Mira broke a piece of the bread off of the loaf and dipped it in the stew broth. She chewed slowly, ignoring Rillan, as he produced two mugs for the tea and a tea pot. He seemed to know her room almost better than she did.

  He cleared his throat again. “Are you feeling better?” Rillan squatted down near the fire and used the poker to move the logs about.

  Mira finished chewing and swallowed. “A little.” There was another long silence, while Mira watched him play in the fire. She thought about some of her friends and how the guys always liked to mess with the fire. She wondered if it was male nature to be drawn to the flames. “My head hurts pretty badly,” she said, in a nervous sounding voice.

  Rillan stood up and looked at her. He stared into her eyes intently, as if he was trying to look inside her. The intensity caused Mira to turn her attention back to the mostly empty stew bowl.

  “Here.” he said and produced a small pouch of herbs from one of his pockets. “This should help.”

  Mira opened the pouch and looked inside. She recognized a number of the herbs and nodded. She figured that she could add some of it to her tea. “Thank you,” she said, and then there was more silence. She really didn’t know how to act. She kept seeing flashes of what happened go through her mind. Mira accepted that this was her life now. Whatever he was, and whatever he was going to do, she would have to either live with it or ask him to kill her. She was beginning to understand why the others chose death.

  “You’re thinking very hard,” Rillan said.

  Mira looked up and saw the concern on his face. “I guess I am.”

  Rillan nodded, poured the tea, and came over to the table. He plucked the bag of herbs up and put a few pinches into her cup before handing it to her. “May I ask what’s making your brow furrow so deeply?”

  Mira could almost feel the resignation and concern weighted in
the words. “I’m not ready to die yet, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  Rillan’s eyes bored into her. “Good.”

  They sat in silence some more. Neither of them knew what was supposed to come next. Rillan was getting frustrated again. Now he knew she was alright and wasn’t going to volunteer to be put out on the slab in front of his cave, his mind was reverting to safer feelings. Anger was the one he felt most comfortable with.

  When Rillan started tapping his fingers impatiently, Mira broke the silence again. “Will it always be like that,” she asked softly.

  Rillan’s tone was harsher than he intended. “How long have you been sitting there stewing to ask me that?”

  “I’m not trying to insult you,” she replied defensively.

  Rillan stood up and paced away from her. “No, it shouldn’t always be like that.” He knew that she didn’t realize it was his fault, and he didn’t want to admit to it. If she didn’t hate him now, he figured she would the minute she realized that he had been playing games and risked her life trying to make a point. He waited for her to ask why it had been so bad that time, but the question never came.

  “I’m tired,” Mira said finally. She didn’t want to sit there with her aching head and watch him fume. She didn’t even know what she said that was so terrible, and she didn’t feel like figuring it out. “Do you mind if I go to sleep now?”

  Rillan glared at her. Is she actually dismissing me? He growled. “Fine. I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours.”

  Mira nodded. I don’t plan on being awake in a few hours, she thought. If agreeing would make him go away, she would do whatever she needed to.

  His boots could be heard retreating down the hall, followed by a slamming door. Mira put her hand to her aching head. “He could of at least closed it without so much noise.”

  Mira didn’t bother to pick up the dishes or the food. She wanted to be asleep again. Pulling the blankets back, Mira dropped her robe across the foot the bed, and climbed into the cool silky sheets. She sunk down into the soft bedding and was asleep almost instantly.

  * * * *

  Rillan checked on Mira several times, over the next few days. She remained asleep. His paranoia getting to him, Rillan started to wonder if she was sleeping so much because of what happened or if she was avoiding him. In order to take up time while he waited for her to wake, he started to pull the rugs up from the floor in Elizabeth’s rooms, so that he could put them down in Mira’s rooms. He was reluctant to enter the dust covered hall. There are so many ghostly memories hidden behind those doors.

  Rillan stared at the rugs on the floor. It might actually be easier to clean the mess off of Mira’s rugs, he thought wryly. He looked over the layer of dust and tried to guesstimate how many times he would have to beat the damn things to knock the time from them, versus how much water and soap it would take to clean the bile and urine off the others. He smiled to himself. I can just imagine what the druids would think, if I left them outside with a note asking them to be cleaned.

  Glancing around the room, Rillan’s eye lingered on a waded up dress at the foot of the disused wardrobe. He realized that he actually remembered the last time he saw Elizabeth wearing it. Suddenly sadness descended on him like a tidal wave. He looked up and ran his eyes over all the things in the room. He couldn’t take Elizabeth’s rugs out of here. They belonged here. Leaving the room, he closed the door quietly, wishing he had never gone back in there, and went to find the soiled rugs to clean them.

  Mira lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She hadn’t left the bed, except to eat and use the chamber pot. A couple times, she heard her door open. She would lay still and keep her eyes closed. She didn’t think he ever came all the way into the room. As far as she could tell, he looked in and left again. Mira wasn’t really sure why he kept coming back. I hope he’s not still hungry. I don’t think I could handle it again already.

  The tired feeling finally left her, and Mira was becoming restless. She memorized every crevice in the ceiling. It was the only part of the room that looked like cave. What she really wanted was to see the stars, her friends, grass, rain, birds, and so many other things. She thought back to the shaft that she saw in Rillan’s room. It must be the only view of the sky in these caves. She was starting to really feel the loneliness here. It was one of the things that made her feel bad for Rillan. Mira had always been very logical. She knew, no matter how lonely she might feel, Rillan had been dealing with this awful place a lot longer.

  The sigh escaping her lips almost startled her. Mira didn’t even realize how long it had been since she last said something. Even the sound of a sigh seemed loud and inappropriate. By all the Gods I can’t live like this, she thought. I need to see the sky and to feel the breeze and the rain. I need to speak and sing. I need someone. Tears started to form in her eyes.

  Throwing the blankets back, Mira sat on the edge of the bed. She braced herself for the jolting cold of the stone floor beneath her feet. The chill that ran through her was exceedingly unpleasant after she spent so much time in her nice warm bed. Throwing open her closet doors, she found a simple dress and pulled it on. Then she slid her feet into a soft pair of shoes, deciding to leave them near the bed in the future. Maybe I can ask Rillan to get me some slippers, if he’ll even talk with me.

  Mira found herself thinking that she may be wrong. At first she believed Rillan wanted girls around because he was lonely and wanted a friend as well as food. The more he growled and glared, the more Mira found herself doubting that original conclusion. He was mean and unpleasant no matter what she said.

  She forced herself to stop thinking about Rillan. What she wanted most right now was to see the sky, and the only place she knew where she could do that was his room. As she walked down the hall toward his rooms, her brain was working on an excuse, in case he found her there. She held the lantern high in the air, sending light scorching down the dark hallway. Mira started by checking the main room at the end of the hall where she found him before. Finding the room empty and cold, she figured that he hadn’t been there in some time.

  Mira crept around, opening doors and looking for him. Every room was dark, and there was no sign of Rillan. A sick feeling started in the pit of her stomach. What if he was sent on an assignment? He made such a fuss about how bad he can be when he gets back from assignment. I don’t know if I want to find out how much worse it can be already.

  Trying to stop herself from thinking about what terrifying, painful thing he might do, she continued looking for Rillan in the rooms off the main hall. Once she established he wasn’t anywhere nearby, she snuck down the hall to his door.

  Reaching out, she grabbed the handle and started to turn. A noise down the hall made her jump, and she held the lantern up to see if it was him. An image of a gaunt, pale, beast with black cold eyes returning from an assassination or some other evil assignment flashed through her imagination, and she instantly felt eyes on her back. Mira held the lantern up higher and spun around peering in all directions at the darkness. The idea of returning to her room and going back to hiding under her blankets was becoming more tempting.

  Just then, a soft breeze wafted from beneath the door, as if it was calling to her. It had been so long since she felt anything save the still and dark of this place. With a new resolve, Mira turned the handle and pushed the door open. The hall was completely black, not even a dim light speaking of a fire in the hearth. She crept down the hall. Another noise had her turning and holding up the lantern again. Her heart was thudding in her chest so loud that Mira feared he would hear it. Suddenly it occurred to her, he might be in bed asleep.

  The lantern light began to waver, as Mira started to tremble. Why am I so scared? What’s he going to do? Bite me? He’s already done that. I survived. Her brain was working too hard. Mira resolved to leave the lantern on the floor and go the rest of the way with just the light it was throwing. She could see his open bedroom door. The lantern gave off enough barely light. I’ll
get inside and decide what to do then. I only want to see the stars and feel the breeze on my face. Then I’ll leave.

  Glancing behind herself one last time, Mira slunk the rest of the way down the hall. She felt like a little kid trying to sneak a sweet from the jar, knowing she had already been told ‘no.’

  Carefully, Mira tip toed into Rillan’s bedroom. An unexpected flash of light from a square in the ceiling beckoned her. Mira realized it would take an awful lot of wind to blow down the shaft, down the hall, and out from under the door to catch her attention in the hall. There must be a storm, she thought excitedly. She almost forgot that Rillan could be in bed asleep, and she eagerly worked her way to the shaft, staring up into the darkness.

  Rillan watched her walk down the hall opening doors and sneaking about. What is my brave one up to?

  He had taken the rugs to the cave entrance with the intention of leaving them where they could get air and dry. However, a threatening thunderstorm made him think better of the idea. After piling the rugs haphazardly inside the entrance of the cave, he stared into the sky for some time. Warm, humid air stuck in his lungs, as he breathed in the night. Once he thought he would grow used to being in the crypt he called his home. It took time, but he eventually realized that his desire to sleep beneath stars would never be abated.

  When Mira neared his door with the obvious intention of going inside, Rillan nearly stopped her. Tension held him in the shadows, as he tried to remember whether or not he locked his door when he left. Then she disappeared into his hall.