Sinful Purity (Sinful Series)

by K. A. Standen

  “Who’s cooking? It actually smells good,” a large booming voice called from the entry.

  “Zack’s girlfriend,” Nate answered.

  “What? Pencil neck brought home a girlfriend?” another deep voice hollered.

  “Knock it off, Joshua,” an older, hoarser voice warned.

  Trying to stay calm and relaxed, I took my spot at the kitchen counter, ready to serve the hungry crowd just like I had at the orphanage. Only at the orphanage, I’d never had to worry about the children approving of me. Lost in my whirling vortex of worries, I barely noticed Zack’s dad and brothers walk into the kitchen until they were standing in front of me. I looked around, panicked. Where was Zack? He’d just run off and left me as soon as his family showed up.

  “Zack ran out to the garage to get another chair,” Nate told me as if he could read my mind.

  “Oh” was all I could utter as I stood there, petrified.

  “Well, you must be Liz.” The giant-statured older gentleman stuck out his hand. It was even bigger than Zack’s. “I’m Zack’s dad, Paul Bartlett.”

  Zack’s dad looked more like Paul Bunyan, with his heavy work boots, worn jeans, flannel shirt, and wide red suspenders holding his pants on over his big round belly.

  “Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” I replied, taking his one enormous hand in both of mine.

  “This here is Joshua, Zack’s oldest brother.” Mr. Bartlett pointed to the shorter, stockier of the two boys. Joshua was extremely hairy, with a thick brown beard and shaggy, wavy hair. If he had nice features, I couldn’t tell under all the whiskers.

  “Josh,” he corrected, putting his hand out.

  “Hi, Josh.” I shook his hand. It was rough and dark with grime-stained calluses.

  “Hi, I’m Patrick. But you can call me Pat. I’m the second oldest.” Pat was as tall as Zack but thick with muscle. Even with his intimidating frame, his face was soft and friendly. He didn’t reach his hand out like the others; he simply waved. I could tell from his demeanor that he had been the one who’d said my cooking smelled good. I was also pretty sure that Josh was the one who called Zack a pencil neck.

  “Did I miss everything?” Zack asked, entering the kitchen carrying a chair over his shoulder.

  “Yep, we already sized her up,” Josh remarked arrogantly.

  “Well, what did you think?” Zack responded in an equally arrogant tone.

  “We like her,” Pat answered quickly.

  “Yeah, she’s a real looker,” Josh commented, making me blush.

  “And an equally good cook, it looks like,” complimented his dad.

  I could tell that Zack was an amalgam of his family. He was sometimes cocky and arrogant like his oldest brother Joshua. He was fun-loving and bit of a jokester like Nathan. When we were alone he was shy and kind like Patrick. Zack’s protective, responsible side was his dad through and through. I knew immediately that I loved them all, each member of Zack’s family, because they were all a part of Zack.

  During dinner the boys ate like they hadn’t been fed in a year. It was the classic depiction of a feeding frenzy. For a moment I thought maybe I should have bought four chickens, but then they began to slow down. Nathan told them all about my idea for recycling the cans. I could tell from the look on Mr. Bartlett’s face that he was impressed by my resourcefulness.

  “So not only did you cook a delicious meal, you got my sons to take out the trash.” Mr. Bartlett let out a deep belly laugh.

  “I guess I did, sir,” I responded respectfully.

  “Oh, sir!” a couple of the brothers teased.

  “That’s enough,” Mr. Bartlett scolded, halting the mockery immediately. “We could use a little respect in this house. It wouldn’t hurt you show some. But you, sweetie, you can just call me Paul.”

  “Thank you.” I nodded shyly.

  When they were done eating, I cleared the table. I took the dishes to the kitchen, where I filled the sink with hot soapy water.

  “What’s for dessert?” Josh called.

  I walked back into the dining room. “I’m sorry. I didn’t make any dessert. I forgot.”

  “Liz, he was just kidding.” Zack stood up and walked to my side, giving me a little squeeze around the waist.

  “Oh.” I smiled, embarrassed. “Tomorrow I’ll make dessert,” I offered.

  “Don’t do it on his account,” Mr. Bartlett remarked.

  “I don’t mind. It’s the least I can do. After all, you’re letting me stay in your home.”

  “What? You’re staying here?” Nathan teased.

  After dinner Zack helped me with the dishes while his dad and brothers went to watch TV in the family room.

  “You don’t have to help me.”

  “Liz, what you’ve done means a lot.”

  “I haven’t done anything. Go, sit with your family,” I urged him.

  “Liz, you’ve done a lot. My brothers really like you. I can tell. And I haven’t seen my dad this happy in a long time.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, it’s amazing what a little food can do.”

  Zack kissed me full on the mouth. I could feel the mix of emotions through his lips. He was appreciative, happy, proud, and even a little sad. I’m sure that part was from remembering dinners with his mom.

  “I know you love me. Now go spend time with your family. I’ll finish up in here.”

  Zack walked off into the family room to join his family. Before he completely disappeared around the corner, he looked back and gave me one of his famous teeth-flashing smiles, the kind that I loved.

  I was almost done wiping up the kitchen when Zack’s dad came in. “I’m heading up for the night,” he said. “Got to get up early and old men need their sleep.” He laughed as he rubbed his oversized belly. “Make yourself at home here, Liz. We’re real glad to have you.”

  “Thank you very much, sir.” I nodded with a smile.

  He smiled back. “Paul.”

  “Paul,” I agreed.

  “Good night. And don’t let my son try anything funny. I know him,” Mr. Bartlett teased with a wink.

  “Oh!” I gasped,shocked and embarrassed.

  “Good night, Liz.” Mr. Bartlett smiled again and walked up the stairs to bed.

  “He’s just kidding with you,” Zack said from behind me. “It’s just his way of showing his approval, that’s all.”

  I blushed. “It still embarrassed me.”

  “I know.” Zack smiled as he pulled me closer to him. “That’s one of the things I love about you.”

  “What?”

  “No matter what, you’re still that innocent, naïve girl I first met. I love that.” He leaned down and kissed me more passionately this time. For a moment I got swept away with the kiss, forgetting where I was or who was around. For a moment it was just Zack and me in love.

  “Hmm-hmm!” a voice came from behind us.

  We turned around to see Josh and Pat standing there. “Don’t mind us. We just live here,” Josh jabbed with a laugh.

  I could feel the rush of blood to my cheeks. This was undoubtedly a fervently extensive blush.

  “Oh, she’s shy,” Josh teased again.

  “That’s okay, I’m shy too,” Patrick announced, taking some of the embarrassment on himself. It was an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

  “Well, good night,” Josh said. “We have to work early.”

  “’Night,” Patrick added. “It was nice meeting you, Liz. I hope you like it here.” He and Josh went up to bed.

  “It looks like it’s just us now.” Zack leaned back over me and started kissing me again.

  I kissed him back a few times and then broke the bad news to him. “Zack, I’m actually really tired too. I’m sorry, it’s just been a big day.”

  “Okay, I’ll let you go to bed. I know you need your rest.” Disappointment laced his voice.

  “Thank you.” I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  “I know, I know. I’ll be down here on the couch.”

  “
Thank you, Zack. I love you.” I kissed him good night and headed upstairs.

  It was five o’clock in the morning and the sun wasn’t even up yet when I was woken by banging and yelling from downstairs. I sat up drowsily and got out of bed. I still wasn’t completely awake when I came down the stairs to find Mr. Bartlett in the kitchen, attempting to reheat some leftovers. The boys were in the family room, taunting Zack.

  “What happened, bro? She kick you out?” Nathan teased.

  “No, I’m being a gentleman,” Zack retorted.

  “We know you’re not one of those,” Patrick taunted.

  “Yeah, I thought you’d be raising the curtain on the salami theater by now,” Josh joked.

  “Knock it off, Josh. She’s not like that,” Zack defended.

  “Uh, she’s not?” Josh teased.

  “I mean it, man,” Zack warned.

  “We know, we know. You looove her,” Josh poked one last time.

  “Well, I would like to think so,” I commented, walking down the stairs in my worn gray parochial sweatpants and t-shirt.

  A hush fell over the room. The guys shut up completely. I enjoyed the power I had just claimed very much.

  “Well, good morning, Liz,” Mr. Bartlett greeted.

  “’Morning. Would you like me to help you with breakfast?” I offered, noticing the struggle that last night’s fried chicken was putting up.

  “That’s all right. I didn’t even think you’d be up this early.”

  “Did my brothers’ racket wake you up?” Zack asked, walking in the kitchen and kissing me good morning.

  “Well, it was quite a racket.” I grinned at the boys.

  “We’re leaving for work now anyway,” Mr. Bartlett announced, rounding up his crew. “You should head back up to bed for a couple more hours.”

  “Yeah, I think I will. I’m still pretty tired.”

  As soon as all the boys left for work, Zack knocked on the bedroom door as he opened it.

  “You want some company? They’re all gone.” He had an impish grin.

  I lifted up the blanket and he slid in next to me. Almost immediately I drifted back off to sleep. I always slept better with Zack beside me.

  A couple of hours later I woke again, this time to the smell of something frying. Or burning? I hurried downstairs to find Zack making BLT sandwiches.

  “I thought you might be getting hungry.” He handed me a plate with a lovingly albeit haphazardly prepared sandwich.

  I liked my bacon crispy, so Zack’s attempt was perfect for me. Not to mention very sweet. Zack, on the other hand, preferred his bacon chewier, less charcoal-like. Unfortunately, with his limited cooking skills, he never quite knew when it was done to his liking.

  “Thank you. You’re being incredibly sweet.” My tone implied I was questioning his motives.

  “I just want to make sure you’re taken care of. That’s all,” Zack said with a sly but earnest smile.

  “You always take care of me,” I reassured, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

  “I know, but you need a little extra care now.”

  I knew that all this extra effort was no longer about me being hungry. He was ready to talk about the baby. A swell of happiness rushed over me. I was really glad he was responding so kindly about my condition and was ready to think about all of it. I just wasn’t quite as sure if I was ready. Pretending like nothing had changed was so much easier.

  “You want to talk?” I offered, knowing what was on his mind.

  “Yeah, Liz, I do. I know that at first I was all freaked out and everything. I mean, we were always safe. We always used a condom. I didn’t understand how this could happen. I had just gotten used to having you. It was a lot to take in. But then I was thinking, maybe it was meant to be. Destiny. I do love you. I want to spend forever with you. Maybe this was just fate’s way of cinching the deal.” Zack smiled gently at me, trying to gauge my reaction.

  I let out a nervous laugh. “Well, this definitely cinches it.”

  “Liz, you being here with my family shows me how really perfect this is. I know a baby complicates things. But I’ve been thinking and I don’t really mind. It’s a piece of us, you and me, and our love. Anyway, my family loves you. One day with you and they’ve come back to life. My dad especially.”

  The thought of his family being happy and liking me made me smile. “Thanks, I really like them too.” In fact, they were better than any family I could have ever dreamed of. Way better than the Perkinses ever could have been.

  “I’m just saying that we could come back and live here, all of us. I know my dad wouldn’t mind. In fact, I bet he’d love it. Having a grandkid around and all. I could work at the mill and take classes at the community college at night. We’d be a family, Liz.”

  Zack’s words were so tender and heartfelt that I felt like they had stolen the breath right out of me. The thought of being a family made my eyes well up, but in a good way.

  “Liz, you okay? What do you think?” Zack bent his head, trying to look into my lowered face. I was speechless. I hadn’t realized that I hadn’t said anything.

  “Liz, I’m asking you to marry me. Be my wife. Be with me, always. I love you and I want to have a family with you.” Zack knelt down in front of my chair. “Will you marry me?”

  “Oh, Zack. I love you too. Are you sure this is what you want?” I asked, overwhelmed with emotion. I loved Zack and the whole idea of being a family. But this was altering his future, taking away his opportunity for a better life. I didn’t want to be responsible for that.

  “Liz, I have never been surer of anything in my life.”

  His sincerity broke the veil of doubt surrounding my heart. “Yes, Zack. I’ll marry you,” I cried, throwing my arms around his neck.

  “Good!” Zack grinned, stood back up, and kissed me fully. Then he turned and grabbed his sandwich off the kitchen counter.

  “I thought maybe since we’re here, all together, we could get married this week. I can talk to my dad and set something up at the courthouse.”

  “Oh, Zack, please don’t take this the wrong way, but let’s not do it this week. I just met your family. I don’t want them to think that’s why I’m here. I want them to get to know me first. And I always thought I’d get married in a church. It’s kind of important to me. It doesn’t have to be at St. Matthew’s or by Monsignor Brennigan, although I always thought it would be. What if we come back this summer and get married? It’s only a couple of months away. I wouldn’t be that far along. Please, Zack?”

  “If that’s what you want,” he reluctantly agreed as he hung his head.

  I could see that I had burst his bubble. I had crushed his beautiful plans, along with his heart. “Zack, I love you. I want to marry you and be with you more than anything. Please believe me. I just don’t want your family to think that here I am, Zack’s pregnant girlfriend, being forced upon them and ruining all your dreams. Let’s save that for the next visit,” I said, trying to be funny.

  “Liz, you are my dream. And now the baby is too. You two are all that matters. Until you came here, I didn’t realize how much of my heart I had locked up. How much all of us closed up after mom died. You brought us all back to life.”

  “In one day? I must be a miracle worker,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Liz, you are. You are everything I—we—needed.” Zack spoke just as seriously as before, taking my face in his big, strong hands as he looked into my eyes.

  “All these wonderful things are making me a little queasy. I’m not used to all this,” I confessed as I wrung my hands together.

  Zack took his hands from my face and placed them on my fidgeting fingers, stopping them in their tracks. “Just think about it, okay?”

  I leaned forward in my chair and kissed him. “Okay.”

  Zack and I sat together at the little oak table in the kitchen and ate our sandwiches. The BLT really wasn’t bad, although I might have just been hungry. Once in a while Zack’s hand wou
ld search mine out and hold it in place like a tabletop captive. Sometimes he would just lay his hand on my leg under the table. I understood that he just wanted to feel close to me, to be touching me all the time, as if he was constantly checking and rechecking the bond we had.

  “Zack, you haven’t told your dad yet, have you?” I asked anxiously, holding out hope that he’d kept his promise.

  “I told you I wouldn’t. Not until you’re ready, okay?”

  “Thank you.” I smiled, taking another bite of my sandwich.

  After lunch Zack asked me what I’d like to do. He told me we could do anything I wanted. But all I could think about was how much I loved him and his family. I wanted to do something special for them. Zack told me that just my being there was special. Even though his words were sweet and overly sappy, I still loved hearing them. I decided that first I needed to clean up the kitchen after his culinary endeavor. I was growing very fond of the old farmhouse. I could feel the love it held within its walls. I wanted to pamper it and repair the years of neglect and sadness. I decided I would ask Zack to help with some repairs while I cleaned. He dutifully agreed.

  “Do you want to do anything fun today at all?” he prodded.

  It was no secret that he’d always thought that between St. Matthew’s and the orphanage, I did way too many chores. I knew he wanted this to be my vacation, my escape. Sometimes I thought he pictured me as a Cinderella and him as my prince, come to save me from all the scrubbing. His efforts were endearing but useless. I had made up my mind. This was what I wanted to do.

  “I think the greenery and forest are beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like them. Maybe after we’re done in here, we could go for a walk before I make dinner,” I compromised trying to appease him.