Sinful Purity (Sinful Series)

by K. A. Standen

  “Oh, look, darlin’. I think she’s waking up!” The sweet and caring, high-pitched voice spoke in the most perfect southern drawl.

  “Quick, Lucy, go get a nurse,” a strained but refined masculine voice ordered.

  “All right, hold ya horses. I’ll be right back.”

  My consciousness triumphed over the chaos that muddled my mind. I knew immediately that Lucy and Caleb were there with me.

  “C…Ca…leb?” My voice cracked under its vocal command.

  “Yeah, Liz. I’m right here. It’s okay.”

  I heard his voice more clearly now. I struggled to remain clear-headed, but the lights were so bright and my head pounded violently. My eyesight was still blurry and unsteady. The darkness was so much more peaceful. Why was I fighting so hard to escape my only moment of true peace in weeks? Why would I ever want to awake to all this physical and emotional pain?

  “What happened?” I asked, begging for a reason to explain everything, while knowing that none of it could truly be justified.

  “Liz, you passed out at church again,” Caleb said.

  “Again?” I asked, my mind swirling with questions and accusations.

  “Yeah, you’re kinda making a habit of this.” He laughed and took my hand.

  The feel of his touch shocked my body and revived my senses. Suddenly my eyesight and thoughts were clear. I looked around the brightly lit white room. There sat Caleb in a small plastic chair next to my bed, in all his sapphire glory. Hoses and tubes encircled my body. An IV ran from the hand Caleb was holding to a tall metal stand beside the bed. Next to the bags of fluid was a monitor mounted on the wall. It was the source of the relentless beeping.

  “Am I in the hospital?” I asked, realizing my surroundings were foreign to me.

  “Yes, you are.” Caleb spoke softly, carefully.

  “What really happened, Caleb?”

  “Liz, when you passed out, no one could revive you. Sister Christine called an ambulance. They brought you here. You’ve been in a coma for three days. The doctors didn’t know if you were going to come out of it.” His voice was choked, drowning in emotion and pain. “Lucy thought you were a goner. But she never left your side, just in case.”

  I knew that from his description, he meant he’d never left my side either. The whole incident seemed so odd, distant, like someone was telling me a story. It didn’t seem real, definitely not like it had actually happened to me. I closed my eyes, escaping the accosting glare as I tried to wrap my head around the whole thing. My memories were fuzzy, like they were borrowed. I had a difficult time trusting my thoughts. Caleb’s grip on my hand became tighter and tighter with every passing second. He took my silence as a sign that I was slipping back into the solitude of unconsciousness.

  “Caleb, I’m okay. I’m still here. You can let go now,” I reassured.

  “Oh, sorry, Liz.” Caleb released his death grip on my hand, replacing it with a light caress as he laid his hand upon mine.

  “Well, Mary Elizabeth. It seems that you’re awake. That’s very good.” A strong, authoritative man’s voice echoed through the hospital room. I looked over to the doorway to see a very tall, spindly older man in a white lab coat. Standing behind him was Lucy, appearing pixie-like against his giant stature. “I’m Dr. Robertson. I’ve been taking care of you during your stay with us.” His voice lightened a bit. I believed he was trying to be soothing, although it came off awkward.

  “Is she okay, Doc?” Caleb asked with a furrowed brow. I had never seen him look so worried before.

  “Well, yes, Mr. Price. However, there are some things that I need to discuss with her alone. Patient confidentiality and all that.” Dr. Robertson smiled apologetically.

  “That’s okay, Doctor. They can stay. They are all I have.”

  “If that is your wish, Elizabeth. Though if I may, I do recommend that we speak privately.”

  “You heard her, Doc. What is it?” Caleb pressed, his tone just as authoritative.

  I nodded in affirmation. “Please, Doctor,” I insisted.

  “Very well. You arrived in pretty bad shape. We performed a battery of tests. It seems that your blood has tested positive for an unknown toxin.”

  “A toxin?”

  “Yes,” the doctor said.

  “What do you mean, unknown?” Caleb demanded.

  “Mr. Price, please. We test for hundreds of common toxins here at the hospital. Unfortunately, what Elizabeth has been exposed to was not among the usual suspects.”

  “I don’t understand, Doctor,” I said.

  “Well, honestly, we don’t, either. I have requested that your blood sample be sent to a specialty lab for more extensive testing. The full report will take about a week. We won’t be sure what the contaminant is until then.”

  “A week? She has to wait a week? What if it happens again? If we don’t know what it is—?” Caleb was livid, more with fear than anger. I knew he just wanted to keep me safe.

  “I understand your concern, Mr. Price.” Dr. Robertson turned to me. “All I can suggest is that you avoid anything you came in contact with on Wednesday when this occurred. That means everything—food, chemicals, soaps, clothes, cosmetics, and even places. Right now, an ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure.”

  “Yes, Doctor. I understand.” I nodded, frightened for my life.

  “The good thing is, Ms. Elizabeth, it doesn’t appear that your exposure to the toxin did any permanent damage.” He turned to Caleb. “In fact, Mr. Price, I’m sure you’ll both be happy to hear that from as much as I can tell, even the baby is unharmed. It’s still a little early to tell, of course, since you’re only twelve to thirteen weeks along. But I feel confident that there is nothing to worry about.”

  “The baby?” Caleb’s expression was blank and his voice shaky.

  “Oh, did you not know?” the doctor asked, surprised.

  “Doctor, he’s not the father.” My voice cracked under the weight of the declaration.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed. You’ve been so attentive,” Dr. Robertson explained, and then excused himself.

  I watched the doctor exit the room, closing the large metal hospital room door behind him. I took a deep breath and prayed for the strength to face Lucy and Caleb. I closed my eyes and swallowed deeply before turning to look at them.

  “Liz?” Caleb asked.

  I watched his face fall as his heart collapsed under the weight of the pain. “I’m sorry,” I cried.

  “Oh, Liz, darlin’. You don’t need to be sorry. Does she, Caleb?” Lucy rushed to my side and rubbed my face, only turning away to scold Caleb with a smack in the arm.

  “No, of course not,” Caleb confirmed. “We just didn’t know.”

  “You should have told us, darlin’. We would have been there for you. I can’t imagine trying to keep this to yourself. I mean, on top of everything else. Ya’ve been so strong,” Lucy gushed lovingly.

  “Liz, how long have you known?” Caleb’s voice broke under the strain of the real question.

  “A while. He knew, Caleb,” I confessed as tears poured down my face. Speaking of the baby and Zack out loud had torn open a wound even fresher and deeper than before. I wanted to crumble under the burden, knowing that the luxury of pretending and burying the truth in denial were now an impossibility.

  “Oh, Liz!” Caleb leaped from his seat beside me and threw himself on top of me. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his face next to mine as he whispered, “I will always be here for you. I promise, Liz.”

  I reached my hand up and patted Caleb’s back, trying to ease his burden. “I know, Caleb. I’ll be fine. Okay?” I whispered back reassuringly.

  Caleb and Lucy doted on me for a couple more hours until the nurse told them that visiting hours were over and they had to leave. Dr. Robertson wanted to keep me for one more night of observation. I wouldn’t be discharged until the next afternoon at the earliest. I was really quite relieved when they left. I loved and appreciated their c
aring and worrying so much. It was just that watching them analyze and search for the pain and torment in my eyes eroded most of my resolve. I wanted to break down and give up, just like they suspected. But I wouldn’t let myself. It would have been more hurtful for them than me. I had caused so many people I loved so much pain recently. I couldn’t stand to cause any more.

  With Lucy and Caleb gone, I could fully immerse myself in the ripping agony of my life and situation. This was a pity party, and I was the guest of honor. Not even the masters of poetic tragedy could have penned a more eloquent demise. My life, still in its infancy, had been meticulously unwoven, strand by excruciating strand. After what felt like hours of mental toil and torment, I drifted into the dark, peaceful solitude of sleep, knowing that the cruelty of consciousness would return all too quickly.

  Just after two in the afternoon, Caleb returned to liberate me from my sickbed. The nurse came in and dismantled my web of life-support lines and monitors. I was so glad to have the IV out of my arm—it itched like crazy. I had wanted to rip it out myself all night long. After I dressed and signed some release papers, the nurse wheeled me downstairs. Through the glass double doors that marked both the entrance and exit of the hospital, I saw Caleb waiting beside his beloved Judge. Seeing him standing there made me laugh. He looked like he was posing for a car calendar, the very kind I’d imagined the first day I saw his perfectly restored muscle car.

  “Well, hon, it looks like your boyfriend is waiting for you,” the nurse announced, catching a glimpse of Caleb’s responsible nature shining through.

  I thought about correcting her, telling her that he was merely a good friend. I envisioned her face as I told her that my boyfriend—nay, fiancée—was dead. That the father of my unborn baby had been murdered by my parish priest. I imagined her shock and disbelief at what she would assume was a clearly fabricated story. I visualized her disgust at my lies and at me. I hated to cause such an uproar and settled for agreement instead.

  “Yes, he is,” I said as she unlatched the foot rests on the wheelchair, allowing me to quickly flee through the door and into the arms of my awaiting “boyfriend.” After all, who was I to ruin her day?

  Caleb opened the car door for me and I slid into my seat, just like I had so many times before. This time was different, though. As soon as he climbed in the driver seat, closed his door, and twisted the key in the ignition, commanding the beast’s deafening engine to life, I would have to confess every detail, every fact and clue that I had covertly uncovered and held so dearly to my soul.

  As if Caleb knew every detail of my best-laid plans, he spoke before I could. “All right, Liz. You going tell me everything you know or what?”

  “Yes,” I croaked, knowing that I could not delay the inevitable one more moment.

  “Spill it,” he insisted clearly agitated.

  “I don’t really know where to begin.”

  “Begin at the beginning, or begin at the end and work your way back. I really don’t care. Just start and I’ll put everything together. Just talk.”

  “Okay, Caleb. Please just give me a chance.”

  “Okay, Liz,” Caleb sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired of getting calls saying that my friends are in the hospital or dead. It’s kinda killing me, okay?”

  “I understand. I’ve made a mess out of everyone’s lives.” I began to cry.

  “No, Liz. That’s not what I mean. I just know that you know more than you’re letting on.” His voice and demeanor softened as he witnessed my personal struggles.

  “I know who killed Zack,” I began.

  “What?” Caleb was stunned.

  “Brennigan. Monsignor Brennigan.”

  “What? Did you tell the police?”

  “No, I just found out the night before I fainted and ended up in the hospital. I was going to sneak away after Mass to find you and tell you, but then I was poisoned or something.”

  “I don’t understand. How did you find out?”

  “I was walking the halls of MIQ when I overheard Mother Superior arguing with a man in her office. She accused him of murder.”

  “How do you know it was Brennigan? Did you see them? Did they see you?” Caleb pressed with growing worry.

  “No, I just heard them. But Caleb, I know it was him. I heard his voice. She called him a ‘man of God.’”

  “All right, but why? Why would Brennigan kill Zack?”

  “I don’t know. I only know that a couple of days before the accident, Zack was at track practice and he said Monsignor came to see him. He said that Brennigan threatened him, Caleb!”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I don’t, either. I didn’t even believe Zack at first. But I was there. I saw how upset he was. Zack said that Brennigan told him he knew about our trip. He said he wanted Zack to leave me alone. That Zack was my damnation, or something like that.” I tried to explain clearly in my frenzy.

  “Okay, so Brennigan didn’t like you two together. Did he know about the baby?”

  “No, I don’t think so. I only told Zack, no one else. That was why he wanted to take me to Maine to meet his family. He wanted us to get married and leave school to move back there.” My voice broke as the tears rushed down my cheeks. I began to sob.

  “Oh, Liz. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s my fault. My fault, Caleb!” I wailed.

  “No, Liz, it’s not.”

  “I didn’t want to marry him, Caleb. I mean I did, just not within the first couple of days of meeting his family. I didn’t want them to think of me like that. I begged him to wait a couple of months until school was out for summer. Caleb, if I had not been so stubborn, so willful, Zack would still be alive. We’d be living happily as a family in Maine right now,” I sobbed.

  Caleb pulled the car into the parking lot of a small neighborhood park. “Liz.” He leaned over and took my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “There was no way for you to know. You can’t blame yourself.”

  “Caleb, it’s my fault. I don’t know how or why. But because of me, Zack is dead and my baby won’t ever know his father.” I yanked my head away and looked down into the darkness of the floorboards.

  “Well, Liz, then we need to find out why, don’t we?” His voice was strong and adamant. “What else do you know?”

  “Okay, let me think. I know that a lot of kids have been getting sick at the orphanage for years. It was always during or after Mass, just like me. Sister Christine and Father Brennigan have been fighting a lot. She refuses confession from him. I don’t know why, it’s just always been that way. Brennigan didn’t want me with Zack. He thought it was sinful. And then Sister Christine called him a murderer. That’s all I know.” I sighed in defeat.

  “Okay, we’ll find more,” Caleb insisted, resolved to his purpose.

  “Wait, Caleb. The hooded stalkers—they’re Brennigan’s,” I blurted.

  “What do you mean, Brennigan’s?”

  “They’re his minions. One of them was driving the car that ran down Zack.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” Caleb asked angrily.

  “I just remembered. I was kind of a sedated mess before.”

  “Oh, right. Well, then we’ll start with them.”

  “What?” I asked, still not comprehending Caleb’s plan.

  “We start stalking them like they did you. Once we find them we’ll track them back to where they came from. That way we can turn them in to the police. They won’t be able to hide if we know who they are.”

  “Zack did say that some of the guys from the seminary wear a lot of black. If they are working for Brennigan, the seminary makes sense.”

  “Okay, I’ll start sniffing around the seminary. But first we need to get you and the baby somewhere safe. You can stay at my family’s place. It’s like a fortress. No one will get anywhere near you there.”

  “Caleb,” I objected.

  “I’ll stay with you, Liz.” Caleb smiled. “You won’t be alone with all those scary
chandeliers.”

  “That’s not it, Caleb. I don’t even think they would frighten me anymore.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I just want to go back to my room.”

  “Why? You won’t be safe there.”

  “It was the last place I was with Zack. I just want to be close to him,” I confessed as the heartache welled up inside me again.

  “Liz, please. If you go back there, you might end up closer to Zack than you intend.”

  “Caleb, I need this, okay?”

  “All right, Liz. I don’t want to make this any harder for you. But I wish you would reconsider.”

  Knowing I wouldn’t give in, Caleb dutifully drove me back to St. Augustine and walked me up to my door. I started to put my key in the lock when he stopped me.

  “Liz, let me check inside first.” He took the key from me and unlocked the door. He clicked the light on and looked around. He even checked in my diminutive closet and under my tiny bed.

  “All right, it’s all clear.”

  “Thanks,” I chuckled, imagining what Caleb thought he’d find in my miniature room—an entire army battalion, perhaps.

  “I’m leaving you here like you asked, Liz. But you have to do something for me, okay? You can’t leave this room. You can’t go to class or the cafeteria. I’ll bring you food, all right? You just stay in here with the door locked and don’t answer it for anyone except Lucy or me. Okay?”

  “What if I have to use the restroom?” I asked snidely.

  “Then call Lucy. She’ll go with you. Okay?” he snapped. “I mean it, Liz. You can’t leave this room alone.”

  “All right, I understand. Thank you.” I hugged him, lingering in the comfort of personal contact.

  Caleb was so trustworthy, responsible, and moral. He had taken on my plight like it was his very own without a second thought. His selflessness amazed me. Here was this colorful, well-adorned, outcast-looking guy who’d ended up being truly the best, most decent person I had ever known. The irony of it all was that my whole life I had been surrounded with holiness and religious devotion, yet this rebellious guy was more saintly than all of them put together. How could this be? I felt like I was in an alternate universe where tattoos and piercings were symbols of faith and sanctity.