by Ann, Natalie
“But why?” she asked him, sniffling. “I don’t get it. I’ve never done anything to make you react that way.”
“No, you haven’t. And I’m sorry I made you feel the way you did. Yes, what you said is true. My marriage wasn’t...” He trailed off, looking for the right words. “It wasn’t ideal. We had problems—there’s no use lying and saying we didn’t. Some of them were my fault and some of them were hers.”
He was struggling to find the right words to use without betraying Tracy. It didn’t feel right to him to talk bad about Tracy when she wasn’t here to defend herself. He still wasn’t positive she betrayed him. And he couldn’t bring himself to look into it further. Plus he felt he was just as guilty for their marital issues as she was, maybe even more so. He could never get it out of his head that maybe if he’d tried a little harder, things might have been different. That he could have worked harder at their marriage than he did. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken Tracy for granted.
He shook those thoughts from his head. “Regardless, I loved her and I let her down. I told myself I wouldn’t ever do that to anyone again. Nor is it something I want to go through again, either.” The sense of failure was a bitter pill to swallow for someone who prided himself on succeeding.
She pulled her hand from his and ran it across his cheek. “You haven’t let me down. Well, you did yesterday when you reacted that way. But besides that, nothing you’ve done has let me down. I’m not stupid, Jack. I know what your job entails. And I know you’ve worked hard to get where you are, and will continue to work hard. I can accept that. I have accepted that.”
He looked at her, not sure he believed her, even though he wanted to.
“But what I won’t accept is if you think I’m controlling you. I’m not. And if you think I am, I can’t change that. I can’t be someone I’m not. I’m already holding back because I do care,” she said sadly.
“I don’t want you to be someone you aren’t,” he explained to her, wiping a tear from her cheek.
“I’m not. I’m being me when I’m with you, only toned down a bit at times. And that’s not such a bad thing, is it? Maybe we all need to slow down a bit in our lives, or speed up for some,” she added with a watery smile.
“Maybe,” he said simply.
He stood up from the stool and pulled her into his arms. “I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know. You can’t help being you, any more than I can help being me.”
***
Jack lay holding her in his bed later that night. They had talked some more and cleared the air. She said all the fighting had made her hungry and he’d promised her dinner, which he had actually forgotten about once she came in his front door drilling her finger in his chest.
In the end, he went out and picked up some burgers while she fed Roxy for him. He even stopped and picked her up a chocolate cake at a bakery he passed.
In typical Cori fashion, once she ate her fill—which included two large slices of chocolate cake—she told him it was time for “make-up sex.” He was never going to get used to her saying what was on her mind.
Thinking back, maybe it had its perks.
Taking him by the hand she had led him down the hall back to the front of the house and to where he thought was going to be upstairs to his bedroom. But instead she pulled him into the living room and pushed him into his favorite recliner, telling him to stay put. Then she ran out of the room and came back with her hands behind her back.
Once she pulled them from behind her back he noticed his glasses that she must have gotten from the desk in his office. “No way. I’m not putting them on.”
“Oh, I think you will,” she stated, a wicked smile forming on her face that made him nervous.
And he did. He didn’t know how she talked him into it and didn’t even care anymore at that point.
She had set the glasses on the table next to the chair and climbed into his lap. Slowly, like a cat stalking its prey, she rubbed against his body, warming him up. It even sounded like she was purring low in her throat, or maybe that was his imagination. He really wasn’t sure at that point.
Pulling her shirt over her head, he discovered she wasn’t naked underneath this time, but it wasn’t a bra either. She had on some tight-fitting little camisole, with lace around the top edges and thin straps. He could see her hardened nipples right through the material and somehow that was more erotic than her bare skin.
He pulled her forward, placing his mouth on one hardened peek. The louder she moaned, the more he played with her.
His jeans had been uncomfortably tight with him sitting in the chair, but she hadn’t let him up. It reminded him of his teenage years, both of them fully clothed grinding and groping each other.
Unbuckling his belt and top button, she unzipped his pants and freed him. He was so lost in her every movement he hadn’t even noticed that she had picked up the condom she had laid down by his glasses earlier.
Ripping it open, she placed it in her mouth, then slowly lowered her head down to roll it over the length of him, using her tongue to caress him on the way down. Just like every man’s fantasy.
Standing up, she removed only her jeans and panties and climbed back in his lap. Slowly, gently, she lowered herself on him inch by inch, moaning and purring the entire time. “I love the feel of you inside of me. That first slide in is like heaven, filling me up so much.”
He never felt her reach over and place his glasses on his face as she continued to ride him right there in the living room, in his favorite recliner, while he was fully dressed.
When they were done, she had gotten up, cleaned them both up and said that it was late and she should head home.
He asked her to stay. When she looked doubtful of his request, he had taken her hand and led her upstairs, then slowly undressed her and made her purr even louder the second time.
She finally passed out, spent from the emotions and lovemaking of the night.
Now he was in bed watching her sleep on his chest, holding her tight. It felt right, and it felt good. He closed his eyes and fell asleep with a smile on his face.
***
Cori reached over blindly to shut off the piercing alarm clock. Only she couldn’t reach it and instead connected with flesh. The loud slapping sound of her open palm hitting his chest echoed in his room. “Ouch,” he said. Only Cori could manage to do that to him, he thought.
He grabbed her hand and placed it next to the pillow, then shut the alarm off. “Sorry,” she mumbled into the pillow. “Time’s it?” she asked, as she pulled the covers up to her chin.
“Five,” he replied, then he threw back the covers and stood up. “I need to be in early today.”
She grunted and then pulled the covers over her head to block out the offending light coming from the master bath that he had turned on.
“Cori.” Jack shook her shoulder, or what he thought might be her shoulder since he couldn’t see anything but a lump under the covers. “Cori, wake up.”
When all he heard was a muffled noise—which he assumed was a grunt of annoyance—he pulled the covers back down to her waist. His heart beat fast in his chest when he looked down at her, still naked lying on her side with her hands tucked under her knees trying to get warm. Her hair covered half her face. “Come on, baby, you need to get up for work, too.”
She rolled over on her back exposing her breasts to his wandering eyes, not a care in the world and completely comfortable in her nakedness. “No, day off,” she mumbled, then popped her eyes open to stare at him standing there freshly shaved, his wavy hair still damp as he leaned over her with a frown on his face.
“Day off, huh? You sure?” he asked, trying to make sure she was aware of what day it was. “It’s Thursday. What are you doing today?”
“Shopping with Brooke. Wedding dresses.” She grabbed the covers back and pulled them up to her chin, closing her eyes. “Cold,” she mumbled.
“OK. Have fun.” He leaned down and
placed his lips against hers. It felt good to kiss her, and wake up next to her in his bed, to go through his morning routine while she snuggled down in his room. Good to see her so comfortable there, like she belonged.
Suddenly his heart raced for another reason when that thought popped in his head. Too soon, don’t go there, he told himself. Panic started to fill him and he had to get out of there. Fast.
“You smell good,” she said as she opened one eye and leaned back after his kiss, breaking his dangerous thoughts.
He forced a laugh out, and got out of there before he said something they would both regret. “Lock up after you leave.”
Scared
“Looks like you worked everything out,” Brooke said over breakfast a little while later.
Cori had finally gotten out of bed when the alarm on her cell phone went off. She threw her clothes on, said a quick goodbye to Roxy, tossed a biscuit in the air and locked the front door behind her. Giving her enough time to run home, shower and change clothes before she had to meet Brooke for breakfast.
“Yeah. I wasn’t sure, to be honest. But we did.”
“Then why do you look the way you do?”
“How do you know when you love someone? I mean really love someone?” she asked Brooke instead.
“It’s different for everyone. You think you’re in love with Jack?”
“I’m pretty sure. I’ve never been there. And he’s right. It is soon, only two months. But I’m pretty sure I love him. But how do I know it’s not lust? I mean, I’ll be honest. The sex is fantastic. Oh my God, he is so big—”
Brooke cut her off with a hand in her face. “Stop. I don’t want to know. Why do you always want to share that stuff?”
“Because it’s fun.” She laughed at Brooke. “And I wasn’t going to share that stuff. I was going to say he is big and strong. I feel safe with him. In a good way, like all is right in the world when we’re together. We laugh, we have great sex, and we even talk—when I can tease him into conversations. He’s even opened up a bit about Tracy, which I suspect he hasn’t with anyone before. I know he is holding back. I think he’s scared. But you know what? So am I. Is love supposed to be this scary?” She propped her chin in her hands.
“I don’t think it’s love if it’s not scary,” Brooke answered honestly. “Scariest thing out there if you ask me. More so if you’re unsure of the other person’s feelings. I’m assuming that’s the problem? Or part of it?”
“Yeah. He called me ‘baby’ this morning. I don’t think he meant to. I think it slipped, and then I could see him shut down. And I wasn’t even bothered by it, because when he called me that, my heart started pounding in my chest. I thought for sure he could see it beating, since he had pulled the covers off me and I was naked.” She grinned at Brooke’s sigh, but she wasn’t going to elaborate on sex and embarrass Brooke, even if she wanted to. It was so much fun to pick on Brooke.
“What did you do when he said it?”
“I panicked. I pulled the covers up to my chin and closed my eyes. But he leaned in and kissed me before he left, and it felt so right.”
She added more sugar and cream to the coffee the waitress had refilled and took her time stirring it, then finally said with determination, “I really think he’s the one. But I didn’t want to read the panic in his eyes after he called me that. So I pretended like I didn’t hear. I don’t know how to make him love me,” she said sadly.
“You can’t make anyone love you. They have to want to.” Brooke reached a hand over and placed it on top of Cori’s. “But my money’s on you. Because you know what? I think he does love you or he is getting there. I think he is scared to let himself feel again.”
“Do you really think that’s it?” Cori asked, almost childlike.
“I don’t know for sure. But from what you’ve told me, I think he’s afraid of being left alone again. I’ve been there. I know. It’s hard to get out of that mentality. You’re so sure you are going to fail someone else, that you can’t be what you think someone else would want you to be. So you don’t let yourself get in that situation again. It’s a lonely place to be. My guess is Jack is stuck in that place right now.”
***
Cori thought a lot about what Brooke had said a week ago. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized that had to be part of it. Jack was stuck and didn’t seem to be able to get out.
She knew beyond a doubt that Jack was the one for her. She loved him, flaws and all. That was what made him who he was. She didn’t even care that he moved slowly because she moved so fast that it worked for them. It evened them out, somewhat.
She didn’t even mind all the hours he worked. Despite what everyone thought about her, she didn’t need to be in someone’s space nonstop and she didn’t want anyone in hers.
And she liked the time she had to herself at the end of each night. Not that she wouldn’t like Jack with her at night—or waking with him in the morning—but she was okay with his job. She was proud of him, proud of what he had accomplished in his life. Proud to be with him.
This past week had been wonderful. They weren’t spending any more time together than normal, but everything seemed to be clicking. She felt like a door had opened up, even if it was only a crack.
Thoughts of this past week were floating through her head. He was texting her more frequently, offering to pick up dinner, wanting to spend time with her, even if it was a few stolen moments at work. He was making a few moves himself, not always relying on her to make the plans. And she was actually happy to let him do it. It didn’t always have to be about her and what she wanted. She just wanted to be with him.
And she wanted him to be happy.
So when she was walking down the cereal aisle of the grocery store after work looking for some new cereals to try, she didn’t immediately notice the ringing of her phone. No one ever called her, they only texted. Once she realized what the noise was, she fished her phone out of her purse and smiled bright at Jack’s name flashing on the screen.
“Hey,” she said happily. “I thought you had a meeting tonight.”
“I did. It was cancelled, still on-call though. Where are you? I drove by your place and didn’t see your car.”
She was immediately warmed by his statement. He was going to surprise her by coming over without calling first. She wished she had been there. “I’m picking up some groceries.” Then she suggested without thought, “I can stop by on my way back. I mean if there was something you wanted,” she added in a sexy voice, but held her breath waiting for his answer.
His smile came though the phone. “That’s good. Can you grab something for dinner? I haven’t eaten yet. No junk food, get a steak or something simple. I can handle the grill on my stovetop, but that is about it,” he said with a laugh.
***
He actually didn’t do much better than her in his first attempt to a cook dinner for her. The steak had managed to get burned on one side, but otherwise it tasted fine. She bought containers of potato salad and coleslaw for the rest of the dinner. Probably not the best sides with a steak, but it was better than opening a bag of chips, which was his other option.
Once dinner was cleaned up, and Roxy had gotten her share of the leftovers, he pulled Cori out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his bedroom. Shutting the door to Roxy’s sad face didn’t bother him in the least.
Pulling her into his arms, he leaned down and kissed her softly. Not deepening the kiss, even when she pushed for it. “No rushing tonight. Nice and slow, my way,” he murmured as his mouth moved from her mouth to her ear. When his tongue flicked out to tease her earlobe, he felt her shiver.
He didn’t want to waste time leaning down to kiss her, so he swung her into his arms and carried her to the bed. Laying her down gently, then following her on the bed, he hovered over her, and continued to kiss her softly, teasing her, pulling her lower lip into his mouth. Sucking on it, nipping it, then releasing it and kissing her again. Their tongues danced and mov
ed in each other’s mouths with bites and nips, until Cori’s moan of urgency broke through to him.
He stopped her attempt to pull his shirt from his waistband. Placing both her hands above her head, he leaned over her and repeated, “Slow. My way tonight.” Her body quivered underneath him, making him feel powerful. Making him feel needed, like he hadn’t felt in so long.
Releasing her hands, he told her, “Keep them there or I’ll stop and place them there again.”
He drew her shirt up slowly, his mouth following the same path. He repeated the same ministrations on her midsection as he did her lips, sucking, nipping and sucking again. He made her burn, burn hotter than she ever had before, he knew.
“Jack, I can’t take much more. Please,” she begged.
“I like it when you beg,” he told her. “But it’s not going to make me hurry.”
She almost screamed in relief when he finally pulled her shirt off, but it was only to tease her through her bra. He chuckled. “I told you, my way tonight.” His tongue came out to lick around the edge of her bra.
Under the lace edging, he flicked her hardened nipple. Her body formed a bow, taut and ready for release. “Oh God, please, Jack.”
With one hand, he reached under her and unhooked her bra, pulled it away from her body and off her shoulders, then placed his lips where his tongue had been, molding his body to hers.
Raising her hips, she rubbed against him, trying to get some type of friction. Her body was telling him she was so close and she needed the release. The teasing was driving her mad and she told him as much.
“Patience. You need to have patience,” he told her and only grinned against her breast when she swore.
As he moved his mouth to her other breast, he slid one hand down her waist, over her hip and back up again. Caressing her softly through her jeans, then over her bare waist, and down through her jeans again. He dragged out every motion painstakingly slow. Making every nerve stand on edge, making her wait for him to decide when he would let her fall.
