Hold

by Jayne Blue

  He got Dylan buckled into the car. Even though he was rocking back and forth in the front seat, he was at least contained, which was no small feat. At this point Craddock’s anger had turned to frustration. How had this night turned to such shit?

  He failed to realize was that Cassidy was gone. In his haste to get Dylan under control he hadn’t notice Cassidy had slipped away. Probably for good. Definitely, because he was an ass.

  He’d gone too far, he let his temper make shit worse.

  Where the hell had she gone? He drove a ways down the road, looking, with Dylan rocking next to him, but there was no trace of her. Son of a bitch. She was truly gone, on her own, without him. Couldn’t anyone just stay where they were supposed to?

  An hour later, Dylan was in his chair, he had his souvenirs from the night, mom had just gotten in from work, and things seemed calm.

  “Craddock.”

  “Yeah, big brother?”

  “I think Cassidy’s pretty.”

  “Yeah, so do I.”

  “Zeke thinks Cassidy’s pretty too.” Dylan, master of the obvious.

  “Yeah, I heard.” He clenched his jaw. “I’m going to take off, thanks for coming to the fight.”

  “I really liked it and my ticket. I’m putting it in the book. You kicked that Bowers’s ass!” Dylan was remembering, not really talking to him, but back in the ring.

  “Yep. G’night, buddy.” Craddock stood up to go. He needed to get out of there, get to Cassidy, and though it was an easy fight, he could feel a bruise rising on his forehead. If ma saw that, it would be a whole other chain of drama.

  “Craddock.” Dylan called to him as he headed for the door.

  “Man, what? I gotta get going, mom can get you whatever.”

  “Craddock.”

  Craddock took a breath, his brother, of all the people on the planet, needed him to be calm. Dylan fed off anger and it upset him to the core. Craddock forced his voice down and tried like hell to mask his irritation. He loved Dylan. Dylan couldn’t help his emotions. Craddock could, well, he sort of could. He admitted that maybe he was more like Dylan than he wanted to believe.

  “What Dyl?”

  “Everybody thinks Cassidy is pretty. That’s not her fault. That just makes you lucky.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. And you’re smarter than me.” Craddock kissed Dylan on the top of his head.

  He had some major apologizing to do. His woman was at his fight, made signs, dealt with his volatile brother, he needed to get to her.

  Cassidy

  She cried all the way home and it was a long walk. She’d waited at the bus stop and finally one showed up. She felt small and alone as the streets rolled by.

  How could a night that had started so great turn so wrong? She knew Zeke’s innocent acknowledgement would turn immediately ugly in Craddock’s mind.

  She didn’t even have a chance to explain why they weren’t in their seats at the end of the fight. She thought she was doing the right thing, what Craddock would want, taking care of Dylan so Craddock could fight without distraction.

  As she got off at her stop, her hurt turned to anger. He didn’t have a right to be so mad. Craddock’s temper was a scary thing, totally irrational, and it had her re-thinking everything.

  He should trust her, but he didn’t. He should be grateful for her helping with Dylan, but he wasn’t. He should understand that Zeke was a friend, but he believed the worst of her. It physically hurt her under her rib cage, deep in her heart. A pain accompanied each beat — one Craddock put there.

  She got home and crawled into bed. She knew her new phone was buzzing but she didn’t care. There was nothing a text could fix.

  She didn’t want to eat or sleep, really, but her romance novels were no comfort right now. And it was cold, so incredibly cold. The super hadn’t fixed her heat and, honestly, with most nights spent at Craddock’s and days at the gym, she hadn’t noticed until now. But right now with only the thin blanket on her bed, she wished she’d listened to Bess and had bugged the building manager about the heat.

  She grabbed her coat out of the closet and put it over the bed. She crawled into bed with her sweat pants on and lay her head down. Cassidy was scared that this would have to be the end with Craddock. He didn’t believe in her no matter how much she believed in him. It was a heartbreaking realization and it’s what sat in her mind as she drifted off into a fitful sleep.

  She woke with a start. She couldn’t have been asleep long, but there was a knock at her door.

  “Cassidy.” Craddock whispered, it had to be the middle of the night. Had he come all the way here to make sure she knew he thought she was cheating on him?

  She rolled over, she needed to block him out. She was mad and hurt and he had never been the type to say he was wrong. They would only fight if she let him in and she didn’t have the energy for it. Everything about tonight that had been invigorating was now draining the life out of her.

  He knocked louder.

  “Please, baby, let me in, if you’re in there? I’m going crazy worrying about you.”

  She heard a loud thud and the door rattled. Hell, was that his head?

  Then another bang, but this time on the wall from the neighbor, “Shut up or I’m calling the cops!” Shit.

  “Let me in, Cassidy.” And his voice sounded so broken and so unlike Craddock that she couldn’t resist any longer.

  Cassidy crawled out of bed and padded the short distance to her door. She undid the bolt, but not the chain. She opened it a crack and there he was, the little bit she could see anyway, looking sad, sexy, beat up, looking like he needed her.

  “If you’re here to yell at me, I’m not opening this door. Go home and we’ll talk tomorrow or the next day, after you settle down.”

  “I can’t settle down without you. Cassidy, let me in. I can’t wait to see you or talk to you. I’m not going to yell.” He’d pressed his face up close to the door. He could have kicked it in, she supposed, it was just a little chain. He was at least calm enough not to do that.

  Seeing him, just a glimpse was enough to weaken her resolve. She’d let him in and hear him out. He looked sorry as hell already.

  “Step back.” She closed the door, slid the chain out, and opened it again.

  Craddock walked in and closed it behind him. She was always overwhelmed how he filled the space in her tiny place. She was also overwhelmed at how much she wanted this right, wanted him to scoop her up and make the ugly things he said go away. But he said them. And the words were still hurting her, even hours later.

  She could see that he was hurting too. He looked desperate, not angry anymore, so she held her ground. He needed to see she wasn’t going to be yelled at or mistrusted. He should have thanked her, not lashed out at her. His go to emotions were always jealousy and anger.

  “I’m so sorry baby, so sorry.” He reached out and put a hand on her cheek, but she deflected it and took a step back.

  “You hurt me. I was only keeping Dylan calm.”

  “I know. He told me. I was so happy to see you guys there. None of my family ever comes to the fights. I felt like someone really cared about me today, not just the crazy fans, but my real family, you and Dylan. And then I blew it.”

  He slumped his shoulders, something she’d never seen, and sat down with such sadness at her little dinette table. He put his elbows on it and covered his face in his hands.

  “Do you really think I’d go off with Zeke? After all of, well, this, us?”

  “I think he’s a better choice for you. He’s nice, rich, calm, has a big family. I can see you picking him over me.” His voice was low, unsure.

  “Look up.”

  He did, slowly.

  “You need ice.” His cheek was swelling where he’d taken the one decent shot in the fight tonight.

  She grabbed a baggie and filled it with cubes from her ice tray. It was a delaying tactic, she knew. They were close to some powerful emotions and she wasn’t sure if she was
ready. She walked over to him, moved his head away from his hands, and gently put the ice bag on his cheek. He lifted his big hand to cover her small one.

  “I only want you,” she said. Her long list of things he needed to admit, change, and apologize for evaporated upon seeing him broken like this.

  He took in a ragged breath and pulled her down into him. He scooped her legs up and cradled her in his arms.

  “Thank God. I love you, Cassidy. I need you to forgive me.”

  He loved her. The words were powerful to her, more than he understood.

  “You know, you’re the only one who’s ever said that to me.”

  “What? Ever?”

  “My parents died six years ago and they said it the morning I saw them last. But that was the last time anyone ever has.” She felt a tear roll down her cheek.

  He wiped it away, then ran his fingers through her hair and looked at her with those clear blue eyes. She couldn’t stay mad.

  “I love you. And I’m sorry. I’ll try harder to control my temper.”

  He’d said it again. It was beautiful to her. She hoped it meant to him what it did to her. She ducked her head and laid it on his shoulder. Cassidy wasn’t sure what to do with all the things she was feeling. The overwhelming emotions the day had brought from Craddock in the ring, to handling Dylan, to being crushed by Craddock’s words, to this, this perfect connection between them.

  “I’m going to warm you up now.” He picked her up and carried her to her tiny cold bed. He stripped off the sweats she’d been wearing to stay warm, her panties, everything, and the cold air of the room brought goosebumps to her skin. Craddock stripped. She shivered as she took in every muscle and hard edge of him.

  Craddock climbed in and on top of her.

  “You’re freezing.” He ran his warm hands up and down her arms, the side of her body, along her hips.

  She reached around and buried her hands in the long hair at the back of his neck. The cold of her skin against the heat of his felt so good. Before he took her to a place where normal speech was impossible, where her sounds and moans were primal, instinctual, she moved her face back from his hungry mouth.

  “Craddock Flynn, I love you, too. Please believe that.”

  He waited a short beat, then plunged his length into her, filling her up, and making her forget about their fight, the cold, her parents, everything but the two of them together. Everything but the way he possessed her body and now her heart.

  Chapter Nine

  Craddock

  Waking up with a gorgeous woman curled under your shoulder made it very difficult to get out of bed. Craddock looked down at his Cassidy. His, he thought, and he felt relieved. He hadn’t messed up beyond all recognition. She was tough — he got that now. She wasn’t going to take his temper. In a way, that was how his mom dealt with it, too.

  She was tough, but let’s face it, she was so delicate. He looked at her sleeping face, the way her small fingers were curled up on his chest. It made him crazy, how much he needed her, how fast she’d turned into one of the central parts of his life. For so long, it was just about going pro and getting into 21C League, and now, it was that, and her.

  He kissed her pretty head and tried to slide out of bed without waking her. It was so damn cold in this place. He put her coat over the blanket, then grabbed his jacket and put that over her, too. She nuzzled in. He’d brave the cold, get his run in, and see her at the GWG.

  She stirred as he leaned over her, “Baby, sleep a little longer. I’ll see you at GWG, okay? Gotta get my run in.”

  “Okay.” She was still half asleep.

  He felt himself getting worked up. The desire to crawl back into bed and take her was strong, but she needed sleep and he needed to stay focused. The last thing he could afford was to let up on the gas pedal. If he started making 21C money, he’d make her move in with him and buy her a computer. Hell, he’d buy her whatever she wanted.

  Yep, time to resist his little cinnamon-haired beauty and get after it. He had to keep his eye on his big goal so Cassidy, his mom, and Dylan could all be taken care of. He wasn’t going to be like his dad and flame out. Nope. The MoTown Smack Down wasn’t some candy ass exhibition. He needed to win. The 21C would only take the top guys at each weight class from the Smack Down. He’d have to prove himself in front of all those scouts and against fighters who’d won in their own regions. Chicago, Pittsburgh, and Cinci were all sending their best.

  Last night was only one fight and an easy one at that, despite the nasty little bruise on his cheek. But the MoTown Smack Down that would be different. It would be a true tournament for all the marbles he cared about.

  During the two day tournament he’d have to fight his way up a bracket and make it to the finals on the second night to prove that he was tough as shit. Prove that he could handle the meat grinder. Every single second of training, running, eating, not eating, lifting, hitting, and getting hit — it came down to this one tournament.

  He did his run, visited his ma, got his brother on the bus, and headed to GWG. This was the routine. The routine was everything now. It kept him focused. He had to be consistent and eliminate any distractions this week. Luckily, Cassidy understood that. She’d work on her classes at the GWG as he put his head down and did extras of everything.

  If he didn’t lose his shit like last night, they’d be fine. It helped having her doing her classes where he could see her. He didn’t like her at the library at night and that was another distraction — worry. She seemed to understand that and squelched her instinctive need to be on her own. At least for this week.

  He knew what he had to do in the gym. His biggest weakness was takedown defense. His attacks were devastating, his ground work was lethal, his punches could do major damage, but he liked to be on the offensive.

  If he got in with someone who pushed his pace or caught him in a shot, he needed to know he could get out and turn the tables. That meant a lot of work with Jessie until the Smack Down. Jessie had learned from his grandpa Whitey how to take a man down and keep him there. If Craddock could get out of Jessie’s iron grip holds, he could get out of anyone’s. Whitey agreed, so Jessie and Craddock were working together a lot.

  That’s the way his training would go. As long as he stayed on schedule, Whitey had it designed so he’d peak at the right time. He felt it coming together, like nothing would stop him. He knew the most dangerous competition he’d face wouldn’t be from Cinci or Chicago, it would be from his own gym — Ezekiel Powell.

  Powell had torn it up this year, just like he had. They knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses. And he knew Zeke wanted the pro contract as badly as he did. Not because the guy needed money, no, Powell’s dad did just fine at their mega church.

  Whereas Craddock wanted the contract to prove he wasn’t a loser like his dad and to support his family, Powell wanted the pro career to step out of his father’s shadow. He had no doubt there’d be some inspirational shit the The Preacher had in mind if his son was a star in the 21C League. They’d turn it into a sermon and take it on the road.

  But Craddock wasn’t going to let The Preacher’s son get in his way. All he had to do was remember the way he’d seen Zeke look at Cassidy when she didn’t realize he was looking. Cassidy didn’t understand that Zeke was eyeing her all the time, but Craddock knew. Just because Cassidy asked him to trust her didn’t mean he had to trust Zeke.

  He visualized facing Zeke in the tournament, maybe the finals. He visualized Zeke’s pretty face crushed under his fist. For the first time, he also visualized having people in the stands. Cassidy would be there. His mom never came and his dad, well that was ridiculous, no, no more wishing for that. He had something way better now than a hope that his dad would show up and cheer him on. He had Cassidy, and without Dylan, she’d be where he needed her to be.

  When Zeke got into the GWG later in the morning, Cassidy greeted him. Craddock watched from the heavy bag as she gave Zeke a smile later. He couldn’t help but watch
the two of them talk. She answered some question he had and they laughed at something, some inside joke? He felt his anger rise.

  Then Zeke put a hand on the small of her back. She sidestepped a little. Good. It was really Zeke, not Cassidy. It was Zeke who deserved his anger. He stared at them, at Zeke’s hand on his Cassidy. He’d keep it, use it, not to fly off the handle, but to make him pay for later at the Smack Down. It was less than two weeks away. He’d banked his jealousy and hatred of Zeke Powell today. He’d bring it out when it would do Powell the most damage.

  Cassidy

  It was amazing how much paperwork, how many forms, and how many emails Cassidy was handling for GWG. They needed a lot of information to account for the event they hosted and she had to have the official season points and fighter ranks for the pro-qualifier tournament in Detroit.

  “I know they’re supposed to do it themselves, but I need you to check up on GWG corporate. Make sure GWG and our records match. Make sure they filed the official sanctioned results for all six going to the Smack Down.” Whitey didn’t want anything left to chance, so she did everything he asked. She checked and double checked and kept things moving so he could train the fighters.

  She spent a fair amount of time on the phone with GWG’s manager in California, Sawyer. He had a rough voice and sounded just as tough as Whitey, but he was quick as a whip and computers didn’t intimidate him. Sawyer had talked her through forms, databases, and even how to get a good deal on t-shirt printing to sell to fans of the GWG.

  “So we’ll finally get to meet after all this time on the phone. The Great Wolves are sending a couple of us to the tournament. We want to watch our sponsored fighters, see Flynn and Powell in action.”

  “Well, dress warmly. Detroit’s a long way from California, Mr. Sawyer.”

  “I’ve told you, it’s just Sawyer. No one calls me Mr. I’ll buy a leather parka. Who knows, next time we open a new gym in someplace warm maybe we’ll send you there to get them set up. You’ve got GWG Grand City up and running on our system in record time. God knows Whitey wasn’t going to do it.”