The Engagement Project

by Brenda Harlen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Gage didn’t get much sleep Friday night, and Saturday night wasn’t any better. Though he was reluctant to admit it, he’d grown accustomed to sharing his bed with Megan. He would have laughed at anyone who dared to call him a snuggler, but he couldn’t deny that he missed the comfort of Megan’s warm body next to his.

  So he wasn’t in the best of moods when he got out of bed Sunday morning, and when he went into the bathroom and saw her toothbrush—the only thing she ever left at his place—his mood grew even dimmer.

  He’d suggested that she could bring over some essentials—her own shampoo, body lotion, whatever—but she’d never taken him up on the offer. It was as if she wanted to make sure there was no trace of her presence after she’d gone.

  And there was nothing, except for the toothbrush and the aching emptiness inside of him.

  He didn’t believe that she was gone forever. After all, she was his fiancée, and as upset and angry as she’d been over his deception, she wouldn’t break her promise. If he’d learned nothing else about her over the past few months, he’d learned that she was someone who could be counted on.

  She was straightforward and honest and loyal, and she deserved a hell of a lot better than someone like him.

  She’d pegged him exactly right when she’d said that he didn’t let anyone get too close. He’d always been careful to step away from a relationship before either party got too deeply involved.

  A wife and a family had never been part of his plan, which was why this relationship with Megan had seemed so perfect. She knew exactly what he wanted. She wasn’t supposed to care about him.

  And, more importantly, he wasn’t supposed to care about her.

  But her angry outburst two days earlier, and her absence since then, had given him a lot to think about and a lot of time to think. And he realized that it was time—or maybe past time—for him to make some decisions.

  But he was wary of acting impulsively, so he waited until the end of the week to see his father. And all through the week, Megan continued to treat him with the same professional courtesy she’d always demonstrated at work, and she continued to wear his ring on her finger.

  She definitely deserved a better deal than the one he’d given her, and on Friday morning, instead of going directly to the research department, Gage headed to the executive wing.

  “I was just going over the preliminary trial results for Fedentropin,” Allan said when Gage stepped into his office. “It looks like this may be a go even sooner than we anticipated.”

  Gage nodded. “Megan had pretty high expectations, but even she was impressed by the overwhelmingly positive results.”

  “And I’m impressed by how well you and Megan have been working together,” Allan told him. “I had some concerns initially about your ability to keep your personal relationship separate from your working one, but you both seem to be handling it.”

  Gage had been looking for an opening, and his father had conveniently dropped it right into his lap. “Actually, that won’t be a problem anymore because Megan and I won’t be getting married.”

  Allan frowned. “Why not? What happened?”

  He could have told his father that they’d decided to take a break, or that things just didn’t work out, but he was determined to finally put an end to all of the lies and deceptions.

  “The truth is,” he said, “we were never really engaged.”

  Allan stood up and crossed the room to close his office door. He didn’t say anything until he was seated again, and then it was simply, “I’d like an explanation.”

  So Gage told his father exactly how his engagement with Megan had come to be.

  He hated to admit his dishonesty, but he’d realized a couple of things during his confrontation with Megan. The first was that a promotion to the V.P. office wouldn’t mean anything if he hadn’t earned it on the basis of his work, and the second—and most surprising revelation—was that he didn’t even want Dean Garrison’s job.

  “How did you convince Megan to go along with it?” his father asked when Gage had finished his explanation.

  “It wasn’t easy,” he said, and left it at that. He absolutely was not going to tell his father that she’d bartered her compliance with his scam for sexual experience. “But I was persuasive and desperate. I wanted to be vice president, and you made it clear that you would only endorse my candidacy if I could prove I’d changed my ways.”

  “And you thought getting engaged was the way to do it?”

  “It worked, didn’t it?”

  Allan frowned. “Why are you telling me this now?”

  “Because I realized that I don’t want the future of my career to be decided on the basis of anything other than my work, and I’m not sure that will ever happen here.” His hand wasn’t quite steady when he passed the envelope across the desk to his father.

  “What’s this?” Allan asked, but Gage could tell from the tone of his voice that he already knew.

  And though he was certain he was doing the right thing, Gage had to clear his throat before he could respond. “It’s my resignation.”

  “Why?”

  “I need to make my own way,” he said. “As long as I’m working here, I’ll feel like I’m in the shadows of both you and Craig. Maybe I’ve even hidden in those shadows from time to time, when it suited my purposes, but I don’t want to do that anymore.”

  Allan set the envelope on his desk without opening it. “Is there anything I can say that will make you change your mind?”

  Gage shook his head. “You’ve been waiting for months—” he managed to smile “—or maybe years, for me to grow up. I think I’m finally starting to.”

  “For what it’s worth, I do think your work has demonstrated that you’re both capable and deserving of the promotion.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m sorry that you’ve decided to leave,” his father said. “But I’m also proud of the honesty and courage you’ve shown in making this decision. And if you ever want to come back, I’ll put in a good word with your boss.”

  Gage’s smile came easier this time. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “I’m sorry, too, to hear that your relationship with Megan was nothing more than a charade. I really think she could have been good for you.”

  “She was good for me,” Gage said, and knew that it was true.

  He wasn’t as certain that he’d been good for her, but he wanted to be, if only she would give him the chance.

  As difficult as it had been for Gage to tell his father the truth about everything he’d done and everything he was going to do, it was ten times harder to face Megan. But at the end of the day, when they were the only ones left in the lab and would be afforded a degree of privacy, he confided, “I told my father the truth about our relationship.”

  She looked up from the computer screen where she’d been inputting trial data. “Well, there goes my job security.”

  “Your job is secure,” he assured her. “He doesn’t blame you for being dragged into my scheme.”

  “Is that what you told him?”

  “It’s the truth, isn’t it? You never wanted to be involved in my plan.”

  But they both knew she had gotten involved, probably more deeply than she’d ever intended, and certainly more deeply than was smart.

  “Why now?” she asked him. “Dean will be leaving in a couple of months and—”

  “I’m leaving before then,” he told her.

  She stared at him, uncomprehending.

  “I gave my father my resignation today.”

  “But why? If it’s because of what I said last week—”

  “It’s not,” he interrupted. “Or maybe it is, but not for the reasons you think.” He smiled wryly. “I’m not self-sacrificing enough to give up something I really want for someone else, but the truth is, I don’t really want Dean Garrison’s job.”

  “You don’t?”

  “I’ve been workin
g toward the V.P. office for six years,” he admitted. “Because it was expected of me, because it was what a Richmond should do. Not because I really wanted it.”

  She was silent for a long moment before she asked, “What do you want to do?”

  “I haven’t quite figured that out yet.” But he had figured out that he wasn’t ready to let go of her, to give up everything they’d shared. “Maybe we could talk about it over dinner?”

  She hesitated, then said, “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

  He waited for an explanation, but none was forthcoming.

  “Because?” he prompted.

  “Because Ashley and Trevor broke up,” she finally admitted. “She found out he was fooling around with a woman he works with and called off the wedding.”

  “Is she okay?”

  She seemed surprised that he would ask, and after another momentary hesitation, she responded. “I think so. Or she will be. But in the meantime, my mother heard the news and came home from Switzerland to console her, and Paige and I can’t leave her to deal with that alone.”

  He nodded. “We can do dinner another time.”

  “Maybe.”

  She picked up her purse to leave, and paused again while he was still pondering the ‘maybe’.

  “Good-bye, Gage.” She brushed her lips against his, softly, fleetingly. “And good luck. With everything.”

  Then she turned and walked away, leaving Gage to stare at her retreating form, stunned.

  Good-bye?

  What the hell was that supposed to mean?

  Okay, he knew what the words meant. He’d said them often enough himself at the conclusion of a date or the end of relationship. And maybe that was why they shook him so much—there was something about the way Megan said them that suggested she’d meant them as a final good-bye.

  Or maybe it was the kiss—the casual touch of her mouth to his—that warned him she wasn’t just walking away. She was already gone.

  It was easier for Megan to focus on her sister’s heartbreak than her own. When Trevor had put his ring on Ashley’s finger, they’d been making real plans for their life together. So her sister was more than justified in feeling as if her whole future had been yanked away from her by her lying, cheating fiancé.

  In comparison, Megan knew that she had no right to feel betrayed. Gage had never offered her any more than six months and while he’d ended their engagement well short of that mark, he hadn’t broken any promises. He’d only ended an illusion.

  The knowledge did nothing to lessen the ache in her heart.

  She was genuinely pleased for him that he’d decided to end the deception and follow his dreams. And she was grateful that he’d given her the confidence to pursue her own. She was only sorry to realize that somewhere along the way, those dreams had changed.

  She’d always been like a fish out of water in social situations, self-conscious about the fact that she faded into the background unnoticed, yet even more uncomfortable if there was any attention focused on her. Gage had helped her overcome her fears and insecurities. It was what she’d wanted, all that she’d expected from their arrangement. It certainly wasn’t his fault that she’d fallen in love.

  Because now that he was gone, now that their relationship was really and truly over, she could no longer deny that she was in love with Gage Richmond.

  Of course, it was a truth she would admit to no one, a heartache she managed to keep buried deep inside only because her sister was too busy nursing her own broken heart to notice that Megan was doing the same. If Paige had any suspicions, she kept them to herself, probably because Lillian’s return from Switzerland prevented her from making any mention of the end of an engagement that Lillian had known nothing about.

  So Megan was all the more surprised when she came home late from work the following Thursday night and found her mother alone in the kitchen, waiting for her.

  “Where’s Ashley?”

  “She’s gone up to bed already.”

  “Is she okay?”

  “As okay as anyone can be after such a betrayal.” Lillian gestured to the teapot on the table. “I just made it, if you want a cup.”

  Megan got a mug from the cupboard and poured before settling in a chair across from her mother. “You never did like Trevor, did you?”

  “I didn’t dislike him,” her mother denied. “I just didn’t want Ashley to settle for less than she deserved.”

  “How did you know that she was?”

  “I’m not sure I did know, but I suspected that she didn’t love him as much as she’d loved Cameron.” Lillian managed a smile. “Of course, a woman rarely loves any other man as much as her first love.”

  She was obviously thinking of her own first love—her husband and the father of her children. It had always amazed Megan that such love and devotion still existed ten years after Michael Roarke’s death, but now it worried her, too. Because if that was true, then she might never love another man as much as she loved Gage Richmond.

  “But I think that’s something you’ve learned yourself, isn’t it?”

  Megan’s head shot up. “What?”

  Lillian’s smile was soft, her eyes filled with understanding. “Did you really think I would look at you and not know that my baby girl had given away her heart?”

  The unexpected sympathy was her undoing. Megan’s eyes filled with tears. Lillian ran a comforting hand down her back, and the tears spilled over. And suddenly, for the first time, her head was on her mother’s shoulder and she was crying her eyes out.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Lillian asked, when her daughter’s tears finally stopped.

  And Megan realized that she did.

  She held nothing back and, when she’d finished, her mother was silent for a moment.

  “What are you going to do now?” she finally asked.

  “Do?” Megan looked at her blankly. “What can I do? He’s the one who decided it was over.”

  “Did he? Or did he just decide to put an end to the lies?”

  “But…I haven’t heard anything from him since that day in the lab.”

  Lillian smiled. “Honey, you spent the better part of the last several months with this man. Surely you’ve learned something about your own power.”

  Power? Megan almost laughed out loud. “If you think I have any power over the opposite sex, you must be confusing me with your other daughter.”

  “I’m not confused at all,” her mother denied. “And it’s long past time you stopped underestimating yourself.”

  Had she been doing that? Had she been letting her old fears and insecurities hold her back?

  “It’s been almost two weeks,” she felt compelled to point out. “I’m sure he’s forgotten about me by now.”

  “I doubt that. But if he has, then you need to remind him.”

  Megan knew it wouldn’t be as simple as her mother made it sound, but if there was one thing she knew how to do, it was analyze a problem and figure out a solution. And just the possibility of coming up with a plan made her feel better already, even if she didn’t quite know what shape that plan was going to take. “I’m glad you came home, Mom.”

  Lillian hugged her. “I always will. Anytime you need me.”

  Megan drew back to look at her. “It sounds like you’re planning on leaving again.”

  “I promised Edward I’d go back as soon as everything was settled here.”

  “You and Edward—is it serious?”

  “I think it might be.” A tiny furrow formed between her mother’s brows. “Would you be okay with that?”

  “You’re a grown woman, Mom. You hardly need my permission or approval.”

  “I know. I guess I just want someone to tell me that it’s okay to feel the way I’m feeling.”

  “You’re in love with him?”

  “I don’t know. But I do know that I have feelings for Edward that I haven’t had for any man in a very long time.”

  “Since Dad?” Megan guessed.

/>   Lillian nodded.

  “Are you scared?”

  “Terrified,” her mother admitted, then laughed. “But at the same time, exhilarated, because I didn’t think I ever could feel this way again. For a long time, I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel anything again.”

  “You look…happy,” Megan decided.

  “I am happy,” Lillian said. “And that’s what I want for you and your sister.”

  “I think, after what Trevor did, it’s going to take some time for Ashley to get there.”

  “What about you?”

  Megan thought about Gage, and suddenly knew what she had to do. And if her mother could put her bruised and battered heart on the line for a second time. Megan could, too.

  “I’ll keep you posted,” she promised.

  Gage thought he might enjoy being unemployed for a while, but as it turned out, he was without a job for much less time than he’d anticipated. On Tuesday of the first week after he’d resigned from Richmond Pharmaceuticals, he got a call from a friend who had recently become a major investor in Millhouse, the local microbrewery, and was looking to update and expand.

  Brian had been talking about his plans for months, trying to convince Gage to come on board, but Gage had never before taken the offer seriously. This time he did.

  He and Brian worked out the details over a couple of beers on Wednesday, and Gage started work on Thursday.

  He loved the challenge of the new job, the exploration of new opportunities. And though he was kept busy at work, he was never quite busy enough to prevent thoughts of Megan from sneaking into his mind.

  At frequent and unexpected times throughout the day, he would find himself wondering where she was and what she was doing. He wondered about the drug trial and how it was progressing, and if Megan was still putting in a lot of extra hours at the lab. He wondered if she was thinking about him, if she missed him at all, or if she’d already put their relationship out of her mind. And he wondered if she’d started dating other men.