Quinn's Hart

by Cassandra Gold

  Josh kissed his chest. "You don't do as badly as you think you do. People are drawn to you. Like me. And Clay, apparently."

  "Oh, yeah, bring up Clay, the guy who asked me to tie him up and beat him the first time we met." Quinn rolled his eyes.

  "Okay, maybe that wasn't the best example," Josh conceded.

  Quinn laughed. "Maybe." Then the moment was gone, and he sighed. "I've always been afraid I'd turn out like him. That's why I never drink. I've always thought that somewhere, deep down, I might have his temper." And why was he bringing that up? Nothing about this conversation was good for the first time sleeping with a guy he really liked. Quinn mentally cringed, hoping he wasn't putting Josh off more than he probably already had.

  Pushing himself up onto his elbow, Josh peered down at him, still fierce. "You're not like him. You would never hurt anyone, not even in the heat of the moment."

  Quinn wasn't so sure. "I hope you're right. I tend to make people nervous."

  "Those people just don't know you. You could've hurt me earlier, if you weren't careful, but you didn't. I'd never be scared with you."

  Quinn couldn't speak over the lump in his throat. He hadn't realized how much he needed to hear those words until Josh said them. They lay in silence for a few minutes.

  The air conditioner kicked on, pumping cold air into the room, and Josh shivered. "I'm cold." He wriggled around until he could get under the covers. "Stay. Please?"

  "Of course." Quinn wouldn't have been anywhere else, not for anything. He got under the covers with Josh, pulling the smaller man into his arms.

  Somehow reassured by Josh's presence, Quinn let himself drift off.

  * * * *

  Quinn awoke slowly, something heavy and warm draped over his chest and shoulder. He opened his eyes and smiled. Sometime during the night he'd moved to his back. Josh had curled up on Quinn's shoulder and thrown an arm over his chest, effectively pinning him to the bed. Quinn could have moved the smaller man if he wanted to get up, but he stayed where he was. He liked the close, tangled-together feeling. He brushed his lips over Josh's tousled hair, joy bubbling up from somewhere deep inside.

  Josh shifted and let out a tiny sigh. Without opening his eyes, he kissed Quinn's chest, right on one of his many scars.

  Quinn's heart swelled. He could get used to waking up beside Josh. No one had ever treated him the way Josh had last night, or said the things Josh said. Quinn believed Josh when he said Quinn would never hurt anyone, and Josh would never be afraid of him. Josh's faith in him made it easier to hope that maybe there was more to him than his father had always said, and maybe he could be strong without ever being like his father.

  Strange as it seemed, Josh liked him for who he was, not for money, or looks, or sex, or any of the other superficial things many people valued. He believed that, too, and the notion was liberating. He didn't have to pretend to be someone else.

  Last night had been a revelation in several ways. He'd learned a lot about Josh, and he'd discovered a few things about himself, not the least of which were his own feelings for the man. What he felt was more than just liking. He wasn't in love yet, or he told himself he wasn't anyway, but this was no vacation fling. He wanted a future with Josh. Tracing a fingertip over the soft skin of Josh's bicep, he considered how to tell him that without putting too much pressure on him or freaking him out.

  Josh sighed and opened his eyes. He peered up at Quinn, his dark eyes sleepy. "Hey."

  "Hey yourself." Just-awake Josh was adorable. Quinn smiled.

  "When did you wake up?" Josh yawned and snuggled against Quinn. He looked ready to go back to sleep.

  "A few minutes ago." Quinn continued to stroke Josh's arm.

  "Mm. Feels good." Eyes closed, Josh smiled. He pressed his lower body against Quinn as well. His erection nudged Quinn's thigh.

  Quinn pushed back, his own forgotten morning erection gaining a renewed urgency. "I can think of a few other things that would feel good right about now."

  Josh laughed. "Want to clue me in on what they are?" He opened his eyes again and gazed up at Quinn, mischief radiating from his face.

  "Maybe I should make you guess."

  Josh's eyes heated. "I like guessing games." He ran a hand up Quinn's thigh. "Am I getting warm?"

  "Pretty warm, but you're not there yet." Quinn grinned, hardly able to believe how easy it was to tease and have fun when he was with Josh.

  A loud knock on the door made them both jump. Josh's brow wrinkled with annoyance and confusion. "Who the hell could be knocking on my door at"--he looked at the clock--"seven-thirty in the morning?"

  Quinn shrugged. "Somebody could have gotten your room mixed up with someone else's."

  "That's possible." Josh's hand slid off Quinn's thigh. With an exaggerated sigh, Josh slid out of bed. Quinn admired his nakedness for the couple of minutes before he pulled on his discarded shorts from the previous day. He caught Quinn's stare and grinned. "I'll take care of it."

  Josh padded over to the door and started to open it. His eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open.

  Quinn never got a chance to ask what was wrong. The instant the door was fully open, a slim, tanned blond man about four inches shorter than Josh stepped into the room. He wore tight, artfully ripped designer jeans and a white polo shirt.

  The blond smiled at Josh in what could only be described as an adoring way. "Hello, lover. Surprised to see me?" The man didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "I'm sorry I was mean to you before you left. Ever since we fought, all I can think of is you. I missed you so much, I had to come down here to surprise you."

  To Quinn's horror, the stranger leaned up and pressed his lips to Josh's. The sight of another man kissing the mouth that had kissed him, teased him, and soothed him broke Quinn out of the paralysis he'd been in since he heard the word lover. Apparently Josh had not meant any of the things he'd said or done the night before. How could he, when he had another man at home? When he'd lied about everything? Betrayal washed over Quinn, leaving him cold and heartsick. Determined to escape before he humiliated himself, he rolled out of bed and scrabbled for his clothes.

  The blond must have noticed the movement, because his gaze focused on Quinn. His eyes widened, and an expression of hurt appeared on his face. "We've been apart for a few days and you're already fucking somebody else?" The man narrowed his eyes at Quinn, although his words were for Josh. "Not exactly your usual type, is he?"

  How many people had said those words, or variations of them, in the few days Quinn and Josh had known each other? He should have listened to them. He found his underwear and shorts and struggled into them.

  Josh held out a hand toward him, two spots of bright color high on his cheeks. "Quinn, wait. It's not what you think."

  If he had a dollar for every time someone had said those words... Quinn frowned and gave up the search for his shirt. He met Josh's beseeching gaze. Tired, empty, sad, he whispered, "Nothing ever is." No matter how much I want it to be.

  He crossed the room in a few large strides, brushing past Josh and the blond, who sneered at him. "That's right, keep walking. He's mine." The man curled his hand around Josh's bicep, right where Quinn had touched it only minutes ago.

  Bile rose in Quinn's throat. He rushed to the door and yanked it open, his thoughts centered on escape. He could fall apart in his own room, but not here. Not in front of the perfect little blond, Josh's lover. Thinking the word sent another stab of pain through Quinn's heart.

  "Dammit!" Behind him, there was a flurry of movement as Josh jerked away from the other man.

  Quinn ignored them and kept going. Josh rushed after him. "Quinn. Wait a second."

  Josh tried to catch his arm, but Quinn shrugged him off easily. "Leave me alone."

  The few feet to his room felt like a thousand miles. At the door, he reached into his pocket for the keycard. He found nothing. His pocket was empty.

  His wallet was gone, probably on the floor of Josh's room. The last place he
wanted to be. He rested his head against the door, anger and hurt tearing at him.

  Josh hovered a few feet from him, face tight and flushed with some emotion. "Quinn..."

  "Don't. Just don't. Go away." He stayed where he was, his gaze locked on a swirling pattern in the grain of the wood.

  "Josh." The blond's plaintive whine grated on Quinn's ears. "Come back to the room, baby. Let's talk."

  He closed his eyes, wishing to be anywhere else.

  Chapter 15

  * * *

  Leaning against his door, eyes closed, Quinn looked defeated. The sorrow and betrayal radiating from him broke Josh's heart. From the few things Quinn had shared with him about his past, there wouldn't be much that could hurt him more than being used and betrayed by someone who claimed to care for him. The fact that Josh hadn't betrayed him was irrelevant. Quinn believed he had, and was hurting.

  And it was all because of Billy. Anger swept through Josh in a dizzying rush. He rounded on his ex.

  Billy stood there, a practiced pout pursing his lips just so, his colored-contact-lens-green eyes full of manufactured hurt and pleading. What had he ever seen in this man? With Billy, everything was melodramatic and affected. Nothing was real, not even emotions. His tight, gym-toned body and almost pretty face, which had seemed sexy weeks earlier, left Josh cold now that he knew what it felt like to have something real.

  Struggling to keep his voice level, Josh asked the question he'd wanted to ask since opening the door a few minutes earlier. "What the hell are you doing here, Billy?"

  Billy blinked at him like he was trying not to cry. "I missed you. I wanted to see you. Then I find you with...that." He waved an arm toward Quinn.

  Josh couldn't help it. He laughed. "You missed me?"

  Billy stepped closer to him, trailing a hand up his chest. "I missed you like crazy. We're good together, remember?"

  Josh stepped back, away from Billy's hand. "In case you forgot, you dumped me three weeks ago. You didn't even tell me in person, I had to hear it on my answering machine. You haven't tried to contact me once since then. And now you come down here, for what? To try to pick up where we left off?"

  Quinn sucked in a sharp breath and rolled his head toward them.

  Josh's ex nodded, his eyes filling with crocodile tears. "I'm sorry, lover. I'm really sorry. We were meant to be together. Can't you forgive me?" He slanted a poisonous glance toward Quinn. "You know I can fuck you better than any vacation trick ever could."

  The words hit their mark. Quinn closed his eyes again, his face tight with pain.

  The sight turned Josh's anger into white-hot rage. Billy could say whatever he wanted about Josh, but hurting Quinn was unacceptable. "Don't talk about him like that."

  Billy laughed. "It's not like he can't see the truth."

  The truth? What truth? That Billy was a deluded jerk? Through clenched teeth, Josh ground out, "Shut. Up. Billy."

  Billy looked astonished. "Don't tell me you actually think you have some sort of feelings for the incredible hulk here. Are you out of your mind?"

  Every word that dropped out of Billy's mouth was hateful. Quinn didn't need to listen to this. Josh growled. "You need to stop."

  His ex didn't take the hint. He pointed at Quinn, sneering. "I mean, look at him. Look at me." He indicated his lithe body with a sweep of his arm. "There's no comparison."

  Josh gazed at Billy. "You know what? You're right."

  Quinn flinched. Billy's lips turned up into a triumphant smirk.

  "You're one hundred percent correct. There's no comparison between you and Quinn." Josh stepped closer to Quinn, who refused to make eye contact. "The sad part is you don't understand why."

  Billy's smirk faltered.

  Josh's next words erased the expression entirely. "I admit you look good on the outside, Billy. You know how to use your body and your face to your advantage, and you're damned good at it. But there's nothing inside but selfishness." He put his hand on Quinn's tense back. "Quinn's not like you at all. He cares about other people, for one."

  Billy scowled. "There's nothing wrong with caring about my appearance. You used to like all the things I did to make sure I looked good for you." As an afterthought, he added, "And I care about you."

  Josh considered that. "Do you? I don't think so. You care about the idea of me, not me." He rubbed Quinn's back in a small circle, feeling the tense muscles relax, skin warming under his touch. "You don't understand the difference. Quinn does."

  Quinn turned toward him and finally met his gaze, lips tilting up into a tiny smile. For a moment there was nothing, nobody else in the world but the two of them. Josh smiled back, certain his heart must be in his eyes.

  Billy's angry snarl shattered the moment. "You asshole! Do you know how much I spent getting down here?" He crossed the feet separating them and shoved Josh, hard.

  Unprepared, Josh stumbled back.

  Billy rounded on Quinn. "This is your fault!" He drew back his fist and punched Quinn in the jaw. It was a weak, glancing blow, but Quinn's head still snapped back.

  Josh saw red. He charged forward and grabbed Billy by both arms before he could do anything else. Quinn could beat Billy to a pulp with both hands tied behind his back, but Josh knew he would never do it. He would probably stand there and let Billy hit him because he'd never hurt someone smaller or weaker than him.

  Quinn put his hand to his jaw. His forehead creased, and he frowned. "Why did you do that?"

  "Josh was mine until you showed up."

  "Everything that happened is your own fault!" Josh's yell took even him by surprise. He shook Billy a couple of times, not too hard, but enough to get his attention.

  Next to him, Quinn stood stiff and watchful. How much shouting, how much anger had he endured as a child? Josh tried to lower his voice, without much success. "You got bored and dumped me. You didn't try to contact me for weeks. You decided to waste your money coming down here without calling first. Don't you dare try to blame Quinn, and don't even think about hitting him again, or so help me I'll knock you down!"

  Billy's face paled at Josh's shouting, but he said nothing. Josh released him. The swagger and posturing returned in seconds. One hand going to his hip, Billy smirked. "You'll regret letting me go, Josh Hart. In a few weeks you're going to come crawling back to me, and I'm not going to take you back. I'll laugh in your face. Then you'll be sorry."

  A strong arm wrapped around Josh's waist. Quinn smiled down at him, and then turned a forbidding frown on Billy. "The only person who's going to be sorry is you, if you don't go away. I might be tempted to get payback for that punch you just threw."

  Pale turned to bone-white. Billy gave them one last sneer before he spun on his heel and hurried toward the elevators.

  "Maybe I shouldn't have said that."

  Josh grinned up at Quinn's guilty face. "Like hell. Did you see how he ran away?" He leaned against Quinn's side, his palm on Quinn's hard stomach. He batted his eyelashes. "My hero."

  Rolling his eyes, Quinn tightened his arm around Josh. "Yeah, right. I was a real hero. I stood here and got punched in the face by a bratty little twink."

  Josh laughed. "That's an apt description for him." He thought of everything that had happened and quickly sobered. "Will you come back to my room, at least to get your shirt?"

  Quinn nodded, his expression growing serious as well.

  The short distance to Josh's room seemed longer now that he wasn't propelled by sheer, unthinking panic. What he felt now was a great deal more thought out. He couldn't help worrying that the incident with Billy had upset Quinn enough to ruin things. They were just beginning to know each other. Quinn might decide Josh wasn't worth the trouble and hurt he'd gone through.

  Josh hoped not. After a few days and one night together, he shouldn't be attached, yet he was, enough that the thought of Quinn breaking off whatever they had. A lot.

  At the door, Josh realized he'd run out of the room without making sure he could get back inside. He re
ached into his pocket, hoping his wallet would be there. His fingers didn't close around the slim leather bifold. For a few seconds he feared they would have to go down to the desk and get someone to let them into his room. Then he felt the hard edge of the keycard at the bottom of his pocket and let out a sigh of relief.

  "Looks like we don't have to hike downstairs to get someone." He pulled the card out and slid it into the lock. The light turned green, and he held the door for Quinn. "After you."

  Quinn slipped past him into the room, no mean feat at his size. The man's ability to shrink or be unobtrusive was nothing short of amazing.

  Josh followed. Once inside, he shut the door. He turned to say something to Quinn, but the other man was gone. He glanced around, puzzled.

  "Here it is."

  The muttered words drew him farther into the room until he could see around the bed. Quinn was on his hands and knees, fishing under the bed.

  Stifling a laugh, Josh went closer. "What are you doing?"

  Quinn grabbed a small object and held it up--his wallet. "I don't know how this got under here. I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I got to my door and no wallet."

  Josh frowned at the reminder. He went to the edge of the bed and sat. "I'm sorry about this morning. None of this was what I had in mind for today."

  "Not your fault." Quinn shrugged and pushed himself up from the floor. He didn't meet Josh's eyes. "You didn't invite the guy."

  The last part of Quinn's statement sounded uncertain. Was he unsure if Josh had invited Billy, or something else? Josh patted the bedspread beside him, hoping Quinn would sit.

  Chapter 16

  * * *

  With Josh's big brown eyes peering up at him, Quinn couldn't say no. He sat on the edge of the bed, his mind still whirling from too much emotion and not enough information. "He dumped you three weeks ago, you said."

  Josh nodded. "I came home from work and there was a message on my answering machine. Something along the lines of, 'I need someone who gives me more attention.' He knew I was a doctor when we got together, but he resented any time I wasn't spending with him. Of course it was okay for him to spend time away from me if he wanted to."