We head upstairs to the four bedrooms. The master is large with a walk-in closet that leads to a bathroom with shower and Jacuzzi tub. One room is decorated as a nursery which I’d have to change. The other two rooms are the same size. All the rooms have ample natural light. There is one shared bathroom upstairs.
Stu is sitting at the table when we come down. “We’re just going to check out the basement,” I say as we pass him. He smiles and nods at us and goes back to his paperwork.
The basement is accessed through the kitchen. We stomp down the steps, testing their sturdiness. There is a laundry room and a very large space.
“What do you think, Dad? I’m thinking a man cave like Uncle Mason’s over there and your studio there,” he points to the wall on the left side of the room.
“Yeah? You know the studio is pretty big. I need a place to set up equipment.”
“I think it will be big enough. What do you think?”
I look at my son. He’s beaming with excitement. “I like it. Do you think you’ll like living here?”
“Yeah, I do.”
I put my arm around him and pull him into a half hug. “Let’s go buy us a house.”
We climb back up the stairs. Stu raises his head when we enter. “We’ll take it,” Noah blurts out before I have a chance to say anything.
“Yeah, we’ll take it.”
Stu starts talking about financing and banks. I tell him this will be a cash sale and that I want to move in right away. He calls the homeowners and tells them the deal that is on the table. They accept right away and I agree to show up tomorrow to sign papers in his office.
Noah and I walk around the yard after Stu leaves. He climbs one of the trees and we race across the yard to see who’s faster. I may have let him win, but I’ll never admit it. We leave the house when the sun starts to set and head to dinner.
Family dining at Deb’s is a Beaumont pastime unless you’re a Westbury. The first time I went there, I had just gotten my driver’s license. When my mom heard about it the next day she was horrified. We Westburys do not degrade ourselves with a place like Deb’s.
Whatever.
I love Deb’s. Noah and I grab a booth and order our celebratory dinner. He asks when I’ll be able to move some stuff in and I tell him that we’ll order furniture this week and everything else we’ll need. I still haven’t been able to come to a decision about leaving L.A. so until then I’ll be here for a week or so every month.
We’re half way through dinner and Noah drops a bomb. “Mom and Nick fight a lot.”
I set my napkin down, placing my arms on the table. “What do you mean? Does Nick hit her?”
“No, at least I’ve never seen him do anything like that, but I hear them at night arguing. He doesn’t think I should be able to spend more than a weekend with you at a time and he doesn’t want you buying a house here.”
I bring my hands up, resting my chin on them. Noah should not hear them argue about me. It’s not fair.
“Listen, buddy. This is a difficult situation for all of us and honestly really unexpected. You know when I came here for Mason’s funeral I never expected to find you. I was shocked, hurt and even angry. I didn’t know about you and to hear this boy tell me that he saw me kissing his mom on a DVD, I didn’t know what to think. So imagine what your mom thought when I showed up or when Nick heard you call me dad. There are a lot of high emotions right now and we’re all trying to find the best way to deal with them.
“But don’t think that the three of us don’t love you. We do, very much. You’re our number one priority. Just be patient with your mom and Nick. They’ll work out and things will be fine.” I’m not sure where all of that came from but I feel good saying it to Noah. He needs to understand that I’m the catalyst for these emotions between Nick and Josie. What I don’t understand is Nick. On Thanksgiving he promised to try and be cordial for Noah and Josie’s sake. I didn’t promise him anything.
I drop Noah off at home and tell him I’ll see him tomorrow after school. Right now the agreement is I’ll pick Noah up from school, keep him for dinner and drop him off an hour before bedtime unless he has practice.
I drive by my soon-to-be new house and park out front. I want to see Josie running outside with me and Noah. I want her flowers decorating the front and inside. I want her living here with us as a family.
It’s Noah’s last game of the season. I’m standing in my usual spot with Peyton beside me. She watches Noah like a hawk and I haven’t figured out if it’s a crush or if she wants to play football. Katelyn says no football, but maybe in a few years she’ll change her mind.
Noah is struggling today. He’s thrown two interceptions and has fumbled the ball. I’m counting the seconds to halftime so I can ask him what’s going on. When the buzzer sounds, I walk over to the sideline to greet him. He takes off his helmet. His unhappy expression makes my heart ache for him.
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. Nothing feels right. I’m seeing everything slow.”
“Do you not trust your receivers?”
“Noah, get over here,” Nick yells. I know he’s the coach, but it’s not like I don’t know what I’m talking about.
“Trust your receivers, Noah. Throw the pass as it’s designed. They’ll be there to catch it.”
“Thanks, Dad. Sorry you can’t come tonight.” I look at Noah questioningly. He’s with his team before I can ask what he’s talking about.
Noah’s second half fairs better than the first, but they still end up losing. Noah looks sad and probably angry with himself. He throws his helmet, which I don’t approve of at all. I head over to the bench to speak to him about sportsmanship.
“Pick it up, Noah.” Nick demands. Noah is standing there, his arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but it won’t fly. Pick it up.”
“Noah, what’s going on?” I ask, stepping forward and standing next to Nick. Nick takes a deep breath, turns and glares at me.
“This isn’t your concern, Westbury. In fact, you’re the problem.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” he growls.
I look in the stands for Josie. She’s standing there, her face frozen as she takes in this scene. There is definitely something going on there that I’m not privy too.
“Get your stuff, Noah. We’re going to be late.” Noah stares at Nick, not moving. He looks at me with tears in his eyes. I walk over to him and pull him aside.
“Noah, what’s the deal?” I ask, bending down to his level.
“There’s a team party and Nick said you can’t come.” I look over my shoulder at Nick who’s in a heated conversation with Josie. He makes shit difficult when it could be so easy.
“It’s all right, buddy. We can hang out tomorrow.”
“No, I want you there and since it’s for kids, I should get to pick.” My son, the logical one, who knew?
“Tell you what. You go to the party and call me when you’re done then I’ll come get you and you can spend the night, okay?”
“Mom will say no.”
“Leave your mom to me,” I say. He leans forward and gives me a hug. “By the way, if I ever see you throw your helmet again, you’ll be sorry. Am I clear?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Go pick it up.”
I wait a moment before interrupting Josie and Nick. I hate what I’m about to do, but Nick is giving me no other option.
“So, Noah is going to call me when your party thing is over and I’m going to pick him up and take him back to Katelyn’s to spend the night.”
Nick starts chuckling. “Says who? You?”
“Nick—”
“No, Josie. Set some god damn boundaries with him. You let him walk all over you and Noah played like shit tonight because he’s pissed off at me.”
“Hey, don’t blame Noah. It’s not his fault.”
“Stay out of this, Westbury.”
“You know, Nic
k, I thought we were cool, but I guess not. Either way, you don’t matter in this equation.” I hate saying these things because I promised myself I’d treat Nick like a parent. I look at Josie; she looks embarrassed. She should be. “I’ll pick Noah up when he calls. If this doesn’t work for you, tell me now so I can have my lawyer fax you a custody agreement.”
I leave her with the words I never wanted to say, but she’s giving me no choice here. I’ve met every demand of hers and she allows Nick to fight me on spending time with my boy.
No more.
I don’t know what I did to deserve the nasty turn my life has taken, but I’d like to know so I can rectify the cluster that has become my life.
The team party is, to put it mildly, an epic disaster. Noah isn’t talking to Nick. Nick isn’t talking to me. Parents are talking about me. They don’t even have the common courtesy to do it behind my back. I can see them pointing and whispering. The head shaking and side glances. They make it seem like I’ve done something wrong. This incident would be no different if Liam and I were divorced and sharing custody.
I bet I’m being branded the town harlot. So what? I got knocked up by my very steady boyfriend the summer before we left for college and, yes, he left me¸ but he didn’t know about the baby or he wouldn’t have. Liam loved me then, unconditionally.
He would’ve stayed.
And been utterly miserable because he didn’t want to play football and that is what I reminded him of, the dream that wasn’t his but mine. We would’ve married and divorced a few years later because I would’ve held him back from his destiny.
Destiny is such bullshit.
I can’t wait to get out of here. I’m done with this football team for the year. I’m done with the pointing, staring and the questions, whether or not Liam will fund the team next year so they can have new uniforms.
My frustration level is reaching an all-time high. I think I need a vacation. Someplace tropical and warm with white sandy beaches and water so blue you look like you’re floating in a crystal clear sky. I can close my eyes and feel the warmth on my skin, the sand between my toes and the ocean, its waves calming me with a sweet lullaby.
A place like that calls for romance, a lover’s getaway. I can see myself and Nick spending the day sharing a hammock, reading together while he sways us back and forth, gently. I’ll snuggle up to him and even though it’s hotter than blazes out there, he’ll keep me cool. I’ll pepper him with kisses and he’ll look into my eyes, tell me that he loves me.
Only it’s not Nick I see when I look into the eyes staring back at me.
It’s Liam.
Noah comes up to me and hugs me from behind. I love my boy. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. I thank my lucky stars every day that I made the right decision to keep him.
“My dad is outside,” he says quietly in my ear. I nod and sit forward, releasing his hold on me. I leave the table. Nick shakes his head while Noah and I walk hand in hand to the front door. Sure enough, leaning up against his car is Liam, his ankles crossed, hands pushed into his pockets.
He doesn’t look at me, but smiles at Noah like he hasn’t seen him in a week. He loves Noah without question.
“We didn’t stop and get him clothes. I’ll bring some over.”
“No need. I went shopping. He’ll have enough at Katelyn’s.”
It kills me when he talks about Katelyn’s. He makes it sound like it’s his home. Noah gets in the car and waves to me. Not a kiss goodbye or anything. He knows Nick and I aren’t getting along and he wants to be far away from me. I can’t blame him.
Liam shuts the door and walks over to me. I’m not prepared to look at him. His expression is indifferent, as if Liam Page is looking at me right now, like I’m one of his conquests who he accidentally fathered a child with.
“You can’t take him away from me, Liam. He’s all I have.”
Liam’s eyes are sharp when he looks at me. “I’m not going to take him away from you, Josie, but I’m not going to stand by while Nick acts like this. I tried. I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me. I call him daily, I came back. Hell, I bought a fucking house just so he has a place he can feel comfortable in. I’m done bending to appease your boyfriend. I know Nick has raised him, but he’s our son, Jojo.”
“I know,” I choke out.
“I don’t know. It feels like Nick is trying to prove a point, like he won you or something. I know he wanted you in high school and it’s no secret he and I weren’t friends, but this… something’s up with him and I don’t like it.”
Liam leans in and kisses me on the cheek. He leaves without saying goodbye. I watch as his car, the car carrying my whole life, drives away. I turn and look into the window of the pizza parlor. Everyone’s laughing and having fun. I lean against the wall and slide down, resting my head in my hands.
“Here, Nick Ashford asked me to give this to you.” Katelyn holds up a folded note, waving it back and forth. “Are you and Liam fighting?”
“No, why would you ask that?” I ask while setting my books in my locker.
“I don’t know. Why else would Nick Ashford write you a love letter?”
I stand up and look at her. She’s smirking, her eye brow raised. “I have no idea.” I reach for the note. She moves it fast, keeping it out of my reach.
“What’s this?” Mason grabs it out of her hand. Katelyn has an ‘oh shit’ look on her face when Mason opens it up. He stands still, his jaw clenching. He turns and looks at me. I slink back against my locker.
“Do you have a hard-on for Nick Ashford?”
“No, not at all,” I reply, defending myself.
“Wait until Liam sees this,” Mason says.
“Sees, what?” Liam bends down to kiss me before turning to Mason. “What’s this?” he asks when Mason hands him the piece of paper. Liam looks from the paper to me and back again. “What’s this, Josie?”
“I don’t know. Katelyn brought it to me. I don’t even know what it says.”
Liam looks at Katelyn who shrugs. “He gave it to me in history class.”
“It says,” Liam starts. “Dear Josephine, Do you realize how beautiful you are? I see you in the halls and wish I had the courage to talk to you, but I don’t. I wouldn’t know what to say. I would like to get to know you better. Call me. Yours, Nicholas Ashford.”
Mason and Liam start laughing and it pisses me off. I walk away from them knowing that Nick just bought himself an ass beating. Katelyn should’ve just handed me the note instead of waving it around.
Before I can turn into my class, a strong hand pushes me through the double doors leading outside. I know its Liam even though he’s behind me. He directs me to the football field, his favorite place to hold a conversation, except we aren’t talking.
He pushes me up against the concrete wall, my legs wrapping around his hips instantly. His mouth attacks mine, our hands everywhere. “Do you want to call Ashford?” he asks as he moves from my mouth down my neck.
I shake my head and it’s the truth. I have no desire to know or talk to Nick Ashford other than being his classmate.
“He’s jealous of me, baby. He wants everything I have. Please don’t give it to him.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
I press my fingers into my temples, willing away the pressure as the door opens. Nick stands there looking at me. Something has to change. He holds out his hand to help me up, our fingers twisting together as we walk to the car. He seems so much more relaxed when Noah isn’t around and I don’t like that. I want my son around all the time.
When we get into the house he pushes me up against the wall and kisses me, his tongue eager and rough, as it tangles with mine. He sheds his shirt, pulling at mine. I push him away, but he thinks it’s only to gain the space I need to take off my shirt.
“We need to talk,” I say without making eye contact.
He lets go of me and leads us into the living room. We both sit. I turn and face him, bringing my k
nee up underneath me.
“You can’t fight with Liam anymore. It’s not fair to Noah. I know I screwed things up when I made the decision to tell Noah about Liam, but what’s done is done. I can’t change it. We have to accept that Liam is part of our lives now and just move forward.”
Nick brings my hand to his lips and kisses it. “You’re right. I’ve been an ass and you’re also right about moving forward; that’s why we’re moving.”
I look at Nick, dumbfounded. I know my ears must be deceiving me. He has a steady practice here and I’m in the process of expanding my shop. There’s no way in hell I’m moving.
“Excuse me, what did you say?” My voice catches in my throat. I can barely breathe.
“I’m taking a sabbatical and we’re going to Africa for a year for Doctors Without Borders.” I can tell by the look on his face that he’s serious and he thinks we’re going with him. He made this monumental decision without even consulting me. My choice in telling Noah about Liam is peanuts compared to this.
“No,” I whisper. I shake my head. I’m not going anywhere.
“It will be good for us. Noah will learn a lot.”
I rip my hand out of his and stand. “Noah and I aren’t going, Nick. You don’t get to make a decision like this for us without talking to me first. Liam—”
“I don’t give a shit about Liam, Josie. Get that through your head. I’m taking my family and we’re going.”
“No, we’re not. You can go, but we’re staying here.”
Nick stands, moving in front of me. “What are you saying?”
I look at the man I’ve loved for the past six years. “If you want to go, Nick, then go, but Noah and I are staying here. Noah has school and his activities and I’m not going to take him away from Liam while they’re building a relationship. And I have my shop. I can’t just leave, I won’t. This… it’s not open for discussion.”
“So that’s it. You’re picking Westbury over me?”
I shake my head. “No, Nick, I’m picking Noah.”
Noah and I unpack the last box of clothes that I brought from L.A. I’ve decided to make Beaumont my hometown and will travel back and forth between here and Los Angeles. Harrison and Quinn will join us for Christmas. Harrison doesn’t have much family and when I told him about Beaumont, he asked if they could come.
Liam's Journey Page 39
