Through The Pieces

by Bobbi Jo Bentz

  "Good morning, Maggie. Today is the day we move into our own house," I whispered.

  "Just you and me?" She stirred and answered without opening her eyes.

  "Yep, just Mommy and Maggie."

  "Can Boris come visit?"

  Yuck. Hell no, I wanted to say. "We can discuss that, but first we need to get you ready and have some breakfast okay?"

  She opened her eyes up and gave me a smile. "Okay Mommy!" She was up and ready to get going.

  "Oh wow, and you definitely need to brush your teeth." She giggled as I fanned the air.

  "Give me kisses, Mommy!" By now she was coming at me with that stinky breath.

  "No, No, not till you brush that stinky mouth." Gah, she got me with a sloppy kiss. I smiled and kissed the top of her head. pulling her close in a hug.

  When we got to the apartment, Maggie had to check out each room and closet at least ten times. For supper, we ordered a pizza and sat on the living room floor on a blanket and had an indoor picnic. Later, we watched Frozen and snuggled up on the couch. I could not be any happier than I was at this moment. When she fell asleep during the last ten minutes of the movie, I carried her to bed and tucked her in, placing her favorite teddy bear next to her. Now to pick up our mess. I smiled knowing it was our mess and this was our place. I threw the pizza box in the garbage and left the dishes by the sink. No one would get mad at me for leaving them out. I looked back at the garbage and took out the pizza box and set it on the counter. There. No one would hit me for leaving a mess. I left the blankets on the couch in a crumpled mess. No one would wake me in the middle of the night and make me fold them. I turned off the lights and went to my room, feeling stronger than I ever remembered feeling. I was in charge of my own life.

  I was preparing to place my phone on the charger, when I noticed a missed text message. It was from Buck. Smiling, I opened it. He must have texted me an hour ago.

  Buck: Hope you are enjoying your new place

  I quickly responded: Yes I love it!! Thank you for all your help!

  Within a couple seconds I received another text: Anytime. Can I ask a question?

  Me: Of course

  Buck: Did you have a nice time last night?

  Me: Yes

  Buck: Am I moving too fast?

  Me: No

  Buck: Can I come and visit you and Maggie at your new place?

  Me: Yes

  Buck: Good. Did you like the feel of my lips on you?

  Umm, yes!

  Me: Yes. Very much, you?

  Buck: More than you will know. One more question, did I make your panties wet like Annie said?

  Oh. My. God! I had completely forgotten she said that. Crap. Did I tell him the truth or just not respond? My lips begged to have him kiss them again.

  Buck: I will take your silence as a yes. Goodnight Claire. Sweet dreams!

  I fell back onto the pillow and closed my eyes. My body was flushed with need. It had been so long since I felt this. I turned off the lamp, a smile playing on my lips. My first night in my new place.Life was looking up Maggie and I would be just fine, and if that included Buck in our life, I would take it. Maggie already adored him, and he was kind of like a part of Annie's family. So he was a part of mine and Maggie's now, too.

  Chapter 11

  Claire

  The next few weeks flew by leading up to Christmas Eve. Sadly, except for a few visits to Bookworm, I did not see Buck much during those weeks, although we always ended up texting each other every night. Annie and Matt were having a Christmas Eve get together at their home, and as soon as I closed the bookstore, I was going over. I looked forward to spending the night with family. I hadn't seen Mel and her family since Thanksgiving. She and her husband, Josh, had stopped over earlier that morning to pick up Maggie. They had three boys under the age of ten: Luke, Logan, and Landon. They were quite a handful, so I always understood her lack of time when it came to the sisters hanging out. I had my gifts all ready and wrapped. I just had to stop at home and grab the dessert I’d made. It was close to closing when Buck strode in. I regretted not reapplying lip gloss, but tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and walked to the front of the store to meet him. He eyed me hungrily as I approached, and I felt my cheeks burn.

  "You look beautiful tonight, Claire," he chuckled.

  I looked down at my black fitted sweater and black boots that came up to my knees over my skinny jeans. I’d spiraled curled my hair that morning and put it in a high ponytail from which strands were now escaping. I had even put Maggie in a matching outfit and put her hair up in a high ponytail. I could only imagine Maggie’s hair was falling out by now. But with her curls it looked adorable.

  "Thank you. You are looking pretty good yourself." I smiled and made a how of looking him up and down. He was wearing jeans that hugged his body perfectly, a button down white shirt that wasn't tucked in and a leather jacket. "What are you doing here Buck? I was about to close."

  "Annie invited me and asked if I would pick you up. She said I would need to hold onto a present for Maggie until Christmas morning. She said we could pick it up tonight."

  “Oh, I thought Annie was going to keep the present for me.” I was so excited for Maggie's gift. Maggie had always wanted a kitten, but Scott hated cats so it was never allowed. As an added bonus, we could not have stinky Boris over for a visit if she had a kitten. I shrugged. "Okay, I just have to close up and grab the presents and dessert at my place. Then we can go. Are you sure you don't mind having Maggie's gift at your house?"

  "Not at all. When do you want me to bring it over?"

  "Well, I want to wait until noon tomorrow to give it to her, or she won't want to open anything else. Then if you don't have other plans, we are going to eat brunch and watch A Christmas Story. You're more than welcome to stay and hang out. Unless you have plans with your family, in which case I completely understand." Why was I rambling?

  "No plans with my family, and I would love to spend the day with you and Maggie. Thank you."

  "Great, then it's a plan. Oh, why don't you spend time with your family?"

  He shifted his gaze, glancing down at his feet, and abruptly changed the subject. "How about I go warm up the car while you close the store?"

  He exited the building, and I was left wondering if I had upset him. Curious, I wondered why he didn’t see his family during Christmas and why he never spoke about them.

  I closed up the shop and ran across the street. Buck helped me load up the car with the gifts and dessert, never saying a word. As we headed towards Annie and Matt's house, I broke the silence. "Buck, I am sorry if what I said upset you."

  He kept his attention focused on the road so long, I thought he wasn’t going to respond, but eventually he slowed the car and pulled to the side of the road. "Not many people know this but my father is physically abusive to my mother. He would beat her on a weekly basis when I was younger. I would patch her up. My mother would never leave my father. She still won't, so I don't visit. I am afraid I will hurt him now that I am older and I know how wrong it is. I have begged her to leave, but she won't. She always chooses him. That's why I had to cut the ties with them. She didn't even seem sad about it. My father has also forbidden her to see me."

  My heart broke for him and for the boy that had to witness such abuse. I turned in my seat and cupped his face, urging him to look at me. His eyes met mine reluctantly, the pain palpable. I wanted to kiss it away.

  "Buck, I am so sorry you had to go through that." I understood why this man was protective of me and Maggie. All of his concern for us made sense. "Is that why you don't go by your first name?"

  He only nodded.

  "Thank you for helping me and Maggie."

  He closed his eyes, and this time when he opened them, hope had replaced the grief. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine with a passion so intense that time stood still. My body was addicted to this man's mouth. I deepened the kiss and he gladly responded. A car honked at us, breaking the spe
ll. We laughed.

  "I think we should get to Annie's while I have some restraint left," Buck whispered.

  "Oh, yeah, we better get there before people think we got lost." I tried but failed to compose myself.

  "Claire, would you do me the honor and go on a date with me?" Buck asked.

  "Yes." I could not hold back the smile that spread across my face.

  He grabbed my hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed each of my fingers, setting them on fire. "You have the most incredible smile, Claire. The date is for a New Year's Eve bash the hospital puts on. Cocktails at six and dinner at eight, then some dancing."

  Oh, I would definitely go for more dancing with him. "Sounds perfect," I answered, feeling excited.

  We arrived at Annie and Matt's, and everyone greeted us at the door--even stinky Boris. We ate turkey with all the fixings, then went into the living room and drank coffee as the kids opened gifts. Buck sat next to me. I had never been so happy. I smiled at Annie and Mel, who took turns winking at me. Everything felt so right, so natural.

  The night flew by too quickly, along with the laughs. Mel and her family needed to get back home, and I found Maggie curled up on the floor next to Boris. The sight of her sweet, sleeping form pulled at my heart. I loved her so much. While Annie got Rose up to bed, I tried to figured out how to get Maggie in the car without waking her. Then Buck knelt beside her and scooped her up in his arms. How caring and kind he was. I went upstairs to get Maggie's gift and brought it down. Buck and I said our goodbyes and got into his car. I turned to see Maggie fast asleep, buckled in the back.

  "Thank you for carrying her."

  "Anytime, Claire."

  "So, you’re sure you don't mind bringing the gift over around noon tomorrow?"

  "Not at all. I look forward to spending the day with you two." Just then Maggie's present decided to make itself known. "What was that?" Buck asked.

  "Maggie's kitten. I thought Annie told you."

  "Nope, not even a peep."

  Great I hope he didn't have a thing against cats. Or worse yet, an allergy. "If it's a problem, I could keep him in my room," I quickly added.

  "No, I just don't know how to take care of kittens. Just tell me what to do to keep it alive."

  I giggled at his remark. He was adorable when he looked worried. "Well, give her water and food and show her where the litter box is. It’s all there together, so you'll be fine. Just whatever you do, don't try and wash the kitten in the washing machine or tub. Oh, and kittens hate the microwave. So keep her out of the microwave," I teased.

  "Okay, Miss Smarty Pants. I think I can handle it. Does this kitten have a name?"

  "Nope, that is for Maggie to pick. It's all she's ever wanted. I want her to pick it."

  He nodded as if to acknowledge why it was so important. "I will take good care of the kitten and be at your place by noon."

  We drove in silence the rest of the way. He left the car running so the kitten wouldn't get cold While he carried Maggie up the stairs and through my apartment to her room. He placed her gently on the bed and she barely woke. I placed a kiss on her forehead and tucked her in tight. We closed the door and went into the living room. I walked him to the door and he turned to me and grabbed me around the waist, pulling me to him and planting his lips on mine. It was a sweet, short kiss, then he was off, murmuring that he didn't want to leave the kitten alone for long. Smiling happily, I went to get ready for bed.

  Chapter 12

  Claire

  Christmas morning I awoke to the sounds of excitement coming from the living room. I got out of bed and looked at the clock. Five A.M.. With a sigh, I put on my robe and shuffled out to find Maggie kneeling on the floor underneath the tree. She went from one gift to another, squealing each time she saw her name on a tag. Of course, most of them were for her. I leaned against the wall, an overwhelming sense of contentment settling around me. Our first Christmas together without the specter of Scott hanging over us to dampen our spirits. Smiling, I went into the kitchen to start some coffee. My presence was soon heard by the Christmas present explorer.

  "MOMMY! It's Christmas!"

  "Merry Christmas, Maggie," I said, as she came trampling into the kitchen. I crouched down and wrapped my arms around her.

  "Merry Christmas, Mommy. Can I open my presents?"

  "Can you give me five minutes? Then I promise you can open them all." She was not happy at the prospect of an extended wait period. To get her on board and allow me time to finish waking up, I added, "Tell you what. Why don't you put on your Christmas pajamas? That way I can take lots of pictures."

  She mulled this over.

  "Okay, be right back."

  Good. Now I just had to wait an agonizing minute or two for my coffee. All too soon she came running around the corner at full speed.

  "Ready!"

  "Okay! okay! Now how about you open the present from Grandma and Papa?"

  She was off, digging through the gifts. "Is this it Mommy?" She tore at the wrapping paper. My parents sent Maggie a gift every year. They had retired three years ago to Arizona. I hadn't seen them in a year and half, and although I missed them dearly, they were planning a trip to Wisconsin in the summer. As the gift wrap went flying, Maggie squealed in delight. It was an iPad. Wow, better triple thank mom and dad!

  "Open yours, Mommy!" She handed me a gift from my parents. It was big and heavy, and when I got all the wrapping paper off, I looked down and almost cried. My parents truly got me. It was a new coffeemaker. I loved my parents--and coffee.

  "Don't cry Mommy."

  "I just really love coffee," I sniffled. Maggie, still unaware of the miracles of coffee, rolled her eyes. I signaled for her to keep opening gifts, as I took photo after photo. Before long, all the presents were open and the living room floor was knee-high in boxes and paper.

  Maggie was busy opening her toys, then looked up at me and dropped what she was doing. She climbed up next to me on the couch and snuggled in close. "Thank you Mommy. I love you."

  Goodness I loved this girl. I wrapped an arm around her and gave her a kiss on the head. "I love you, too."

  "Am I a bad person if I don't miss Dad?"

  "No, you could never be bad. You may do things in your life that may be the wrong choice, but you are good inside and out. As for not missing your Dad, do you know why you don't miss him?"

  "He scared me and he was mean to you."

  "Yes, he scared me, too. You know if you ever want to talk about it, I will always listen." A lump formed in my throat when I thought about the grief I was unable to spare her.

  "I know, Mommy. You tell me that all the time." Maggie flashed me her sweet smile, which morphed into a yawn.

  I returned her yawn. "How about we go cuddle in bed for a while, then I’ll make brunch and we’ll watch the movie."

  She eagerly agreed and I picked her up and carried her to my bed. We cuddled together, and before long she drifted off to sleep. I had a harder time trying to sleep as I thought about the things she had seen at her young age. Tears pricked my eyes. I didn't protect her enough.

  When Maggie awoke, I prepared the Christmas morning egg bake. This was a tradition started by my mother, and I wanted to pass it on to Maggie. I had just put it in the oven when Maggie walked in, looking much more refreshed. She helped me with the fruit pizza and breakfast punch, which was a combination of orange juice and clear soda.

  "Maggie, I am going to take a quick shower, okay?"

  "But Mommy, we always wear pajamas on Christmas!" she protested.

  I looked down at my white tank and pajama bottoms with candy canes imprinted on them. She was right. If Buck didn't like it, that was too bad. I was tired of living my life to please someone else. I was just going to be me from now on.

  I smiled at her and responded, "You're right, Maggie."

  "I'm going to check out my new toys." She skipped to the living room and was soon playing happily.

  I went to the bathroom to freshen up. I w
ould keep my candy cane pajamas on, but I could at least wipe the dried drool mark off my cheek. I washed my face, ran a brush through my hair, and put it up in a messy bun again. Back in the living room, I was picking up the wrapping paper still littering the floor, when a knock sounded on the door. I opened it to find Buck smiling down at me, his forearm against the door frame, looking breathtaking as usual. My face flamed at the sight of him.

  "Merry Christmas, Claire."

  "Merry Christmas, Buck." I waved him inside

  He drew in a deep breath. "Something smells delicious."

  Maggie ran over to him, excited. "Buck! Merry Christmas! Do you want to see my presents?"

  "I will in a minute, but right now I need your Mom's help with some gifts in the car."

  Maggie got quiet at this and nodded in agreement, as if to say “Go ahead.” I was excited to give her the kitten, an orange tabby. I had the litter box and food dish ready, stashed in my closet. I grabbed my coat and followed Buck to the car. He told me to get the cat from the backseat, and he would get the rest.

  "What do you mean ‘rest’? The rest of what?"

  "Claire, I couldn't come over for Christmas and not bring gifts."

  "Oh Buck, you really shouldn't have! I didn't even get you anything." How embarrassing. "I spent everything on Maggie, and with this new place--I hate to say I am running low on funds."

  "Claire, at least I get to enjoy spending Christmas with you and Maggie. And you are making me food. I usually order takeout or work on Christmas. I really should be thanking you." This man could melt my heart. He grabbed two big bags and followed me upstairs. Maggie was busy on her iPad when we came in.