by L. J. Wilson
In those moments, intimacy tended to falter when it should have soared, leaving Ruby confused and feeling inadequate. She’d often pep-talked herself into accepting that perhaps this was the price of happiness. What she and Aaron shared physically, it was a rare and unrepeatable thing. Today, Ruby understood just how much.
She was looking at it all wrong. Here was a moment where she could begin to make up for lackluster, do better. Ruby undid his belt buckle, and Stefan laid her back on the sofa, stopping long enough to shed his clothes. Ruby looked up at him—a body that was professional-trainer chiseled—sinewy muscles, a thinking man’s frame. She searched deep inside for anticipation, trying not to think too much about why she wasn’t tearing at his clothes or pulling Stefan onto the sofa. She wanted to blame it on Aaron—that would make sense. But even during her closest moments with Stefan, when her mind teetered on an Aaron-less state, it was no better.
What kind of miserable, cold shrew was she? Stefan Gerard had been good to her, treating Ruby with patience, respect, and kindness. If he came across as cool, somewhat aloof to outsiders… Well, he’d certainly proven to be someone else with her. For months, Ruby’s happiness had been Stefan’s only desire.
Yet, in this moment, he startled her as his gentle nature wavered, grabbing the back cushions and throwing them to the floor. Straddling over her, Stefan’s firm erection pressed into Ruby’s stomach and his hands caressed her breasts. His demeanor was different, nipping at her skin in some unrecognizable way, even his breathing sounded more aggressive. “I’m sorry, darling,” he said, fingers roughly grasping her breast, a nipple. “But I’m afraid you’ve got me terribly worked up… You… you’re, um, obvious state of desire is causing me to think some rather devilish thoughts.”
Ruby blinked up at him as Stefan did something he’d never done, shoving her legs apart and thrusting himself hard into her. Ruby gasped, clenching a fringed throw pillow. Stefan drew back and this time he grabbed her leg, forcing her more open to him. His hand locked around her wrist, leaving her nearly immobile to the advance as he thrust into her once again.
“Stefan…” she said. Ruby didn’t know what to make of something so removed from the way he usually approached sex—gradually and with great care, tending to her needs before ever considering himself.
He kissed her neck, and his mouth covered hers, his tongue probing. “I know… it’s rougher than you like. I swear. Just this once. You, um… you truly don’t seem to mind,” he said, glancing toward the slick penetrating motion he enjoyed. “But this… Well, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much, shall we say fluid desire from you. It makes me want to…” The intense rhythmic pumping slowed, Stefan’s hand releasing Ruby’s arm. Her fist closed, pressing against his shoulder. She wasn’t pushing him away. Or was she? He seemed to take it as more of a game, his position and weight insisting this would all go in his favor. Ruby stared up at him as Stefan’s hand drew to her face and locked around her jaw, the way it had her wrist. But he kissed her cheek lightly, whispering, “It brings out another side of me, knowing how much you want me.”
Ruby closed her eyes, feeling a tear slide onto the pillow. She held her breath as Stefan picked up the pace again. He came a few moments later, marrying his explosion of their newfound desire into the sea of emotion created by another man.
Mercifully, Abstract Enchantment had been hectic the rest of the day, and Ruby avoided both Stefan and Aaron. She’d remained mostly in her suite, venturing once to the edge of the dining room. Inside was a buzz of activity, people preparing for an onslaught of Windamere corporate executives. She watched Honor, who was too busy to notice Ruby. She thought about Honor’s resiliency. Aaron’s sister had been utterly devastated by Rowen’s death. When Ruby first left Nickel Springs, she considered that—if it was fair to compare the loss she felt for Aaron to Honor’s loss. Ruby couldn’t imagine how it could feel worse, the ache and emptiness. On the other hand, maybe Honor found comfort in knowing the man she loved died a hero. Ruby had to live with the reality that the man she loved turned out to be the enemy.
Honor was alone in the center of the room, a clipboard in her hand. Ruby crept half a step forward. There should be some communication with the Clairmonts, a warning that Stefan was unaware of Aaron’s specific past. If he found out, there’d be consequences—Stefan’s response to what Aaron had done, and worse, the aggravating tidbit about his fiancée once having planned a future with his on-parole employee. But she didn’t do it. She didn’t approach Honor. Ruby decided she didn’t owe Aaron that kind of compassion, and she turned away.
Around dinner time, back in their suite, a spectacular floral arrangement arrived. A classic Stefan gesture, a vase filled with two-dozen red roses and sweet asylum. Crooked in the bouquet was a blue velvet box. Inside it was a single teardrop ruby on a chain. The note read: Apologies for abandoning you tonight and in appreciation for the stunning mid-morning distraction. All my love, Stefan. She took the gesture as a sign of hope. Even if impromptu sex had left Ruby unfulfilled, clearly Stefan had enjoyed it. If her mind hadn’t been reeling over Aaron, the awful thing she’d done by letting him near her… touch her… Well, perhaps Ruby would not have perceived the encounter with Stefan like she did. She didn’t deserve to enjoy it. Ruby touched the necklace, which was oddly understated. Even so, opening the box had managed to release a fresh flood of guilt.
Ruby took a turn around the posh suite, thinking if she had to spend the evening alone there her head might explode. Stefan had said he’d be tied up in meetings and shouldn’t be disturbed—there were too many Abstract Enchantment loose ends. Ruby looked out the window, feeling a bit like a prisoner. She sighed at the sight of the magnificent grounds. If she felt that way, it was her own doing. She called downstairs and asked if there was a car available. Of course, Stefan had arranged as much. She should have asked hours ago.
Minutes later, Ruby was navigating the once familiar terrain of Nickel Springs, driving too fast down winding country roads. The car slowed as she approached the downtown. It was a place where time had stood still, and Ruby smiled as the vehicle idled near the bandstand. Recalling her father’s Fourth of July speeches and powerful victory rallies, she remembered the swell of pride, Dante winning the mayor’s office six consecutive terms. The smile waned, thinking of him now, suffering dementia and other ailments. But she knew he was being well taken of in California, with his sister visiting daily. It was sad that Dante no longer recalled his grand success. He barely recalled Ruby. But in a strange way, his daughter was also glad that Dante had forgotten the awful things that happened in the end. He’d loved Aaron like a son. Learning of his betrayals and deceit, Ruby felt certain it had incited the flood of health issues. Add to the list, she thought, pulling away from the curb, the things for which Aaron Clairmont was responsible.
Ruby drove aimlessly, passing by landmarks and recollections. Some of them were tied to Aaron, but others were separate memories, like the pizza place where she and Tandy did a lot of eating and gossiping. Tandy… Ruby had set out from Abstract Enchantment headed for Tandy’s house. Her grandmother, who had raised Tandy, still lived there. Minutes later she was in the LaCroix living room. Nana LaCroix threw her arms around Ruby as if she were the lost child. But the hug felt more like gratitude, so did her words. She thanked Ruby over and over for bringing her granddaughter home. “I was so afraid Tandy might… you know, turn out like her mother…. end up the same way. You were always so good for her, Ruby…” Ruby wasn’t sure why she deserved gratitude, although it did make her think about Darlene LaCroix’s past. Like Marcela Vasquez, Darlene had also abandoned her family. Unlike Marcela, it had been drugs, not a man that lured her away. Still, an absentee mother was an absentee mother, and the part of their lives over which the girls had bonded. Just then, Tandy charged down the stairs, rerouting memories and conversation.
“Hey, Rube, what are you doing here? I didn’t think I’d see you until tomorrow. Everything okay?”
“U
h, sure,” Ruby said, tucking her hair, suddenly unsure about bringing her ambivalent mood into the LaCroix house.
Tandy hugged Ruby, giving her friend’s hands a squeeze. As she often did, she stopped to admire the large diamond ring on her finger. “Sooo pretty, Rube! I swear, you’re the luckiest girl on the planet.”
Ruby smiled. “Well, jewelry isn’t everything. Sometimes it isn’t anything.”
Tandy blinked wide. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing…” she said, changing the subject. “Hey, what’s this I hear, you and Stefan plotting behind my back.”
“What?” Tandy said. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Ruby’s brow furrowed at the adamant denial. “Well, you’re here, aren’t you—in Nickel Springs, silly? You and Stefan, you’re both pretty good at keeping a secret!”
Tandy folded and unfolded her arms. “Oh, right. You got me. Sorry for the white lie,” she said, pinching two fingers close together. “Stefan wanted to surprise you. What could I do but go along with it?” Tandy pulled Ruby by the hand, the two sitting on what looked like a brand-new sofa. In fact, glancing around the room, it seemed the entire LaCroix house had undergone a makeover—a definite upgrade from the tired little rooms Ruby remembered. “So you were surprised?”
“About a lot of things…” Ruby said absently. “But if you mean moving the wedding to here, moving up the date? Yes, absolutely.” Ruby couldn’t help it as her gaze drifted downward, seeing the traffic jam of old track marks on Tandy’s arms. She forced her eyes and a smile upward. The past was the past in every way—Ruby needed to act accordingly. Among other things, she was grateful to have reconnected with Tandy in California, stunned to find her living less than a hundred miles away.
“Well, if it were me, I’d be over the moon!” Tandy said, drawing Ruby back into the conversation. “You don’t seem very excited.”
“I am… of course I am.” Ruby smiled wide then sobered the gesture. “Tandy,” she said carefully, “did you know Aaron was released from prison?” Her friend’s rail-thin frame seemed to slide, maybe squirm, on the sleek fabric. “Tandy?”
“Nana said something about it. I, um… I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d be upset. Did, um… have you seen him?”
“He’s working at Abstract Enchantment.”
“He’s—” Tandy’s mouth gaped. “I didn’t know that.” The gape turned into a smile. “So just tell Stefan. He’ll fire him, or better still get the creep thrown back in prison—where he belongs.”
Ruby had no reply. What did she expect Tandy to say? She was a huge Stefan fan, the two bonding in a way that Tandy and Aaron never had. Bond? Who was she kidding? Tandy had wholly disliked Aaron. She saw him as a threat to their friendship, and nothing more than bad news for Ruby. When Tandy turned up in Nickel Springs during Aaron’s sentencing, she’d insisted it was coincidence. Ruby felt more like it was an “I told you so…”
“Ruby? Seriously. Just tell Stefan what’s going on, who Aaron is and what he did.”
Ruby sucked in a breath. Taking her troubles to the LaCroix house was a mistake. Anything Ruby might feel the urge to discuss—confess—would not be well received. Tandy’s loyalty would be to Stefan. Ruby did her own squirming. Damn, isn’t that where mine should be? “Uh, no… Really. Stefan doesn’t need that stress. Aaron doesn’t mean anything to me, and we won’t be in Nickel Springs long. I don’t want to dredge it all up, okay? Just forget I said anything.” Tandy nodded. Ruby shifted to a topic Tandy could get on board with and asked to see her bridesmaid’s dress.
A short time later, Ruby drove off with no other destination in mind. She wasn’t thinking how Valley Road threaded onto Lakeshore Drive. Unexpectedly committed to the narrow isolated road, Ruby sped up as she passed by the Clairmont house. At the stop sign, at the end of Lakeshore Drive, it surprised Ruby when she didn’t hang a hard right, but thrust the car into reverse.
It took nearly as much courage to approach the Clairmont house as it had to leave it. With emotionless, mechanical movements, Ruby got out of the car. When it came to Aaron and Abstract Enchantment, the most prudent thing would be to warn him. Aaron should turn in his notice and look for employment elsewhere. Right now, Stefan would give him a reference. If he were to find out why Aaron had been in jail, or anything more… Well, the rest of the Clairmonts had certainly suffered enough. She could see her way to that much.
A rush of familiarity swamped Ruby as she faced the front door, and her mechanical approach began to break down. She heard the lapping of waves that bordered the waterfront home. She hesitated, just listening, smelling the lake-drenched air. In the reminiscent spot, Ruby remembered nineteen—a girl on her way to becoming someone else. It was an October night and the first time Aaron had brought her to the house, months before they slept together. No one was home, and Aaron seemed surprised by the situation. He’d ushered her quickly through the interior and out to the expansive deck with a fire pit. Ruby barely had a second to notice where he lived… how he lived, and she’d been so curious. Aaron had directed her to a chair and built a roaring fire. She remembered admiring his hunter-gatherer persona in overdrive. Ruby also remembered that being a good thing because she was freezing. She’d looked away for a moment, and he was gone, returning seconds later with a sweatshirt bearing a DEA insignia. Ruby recalled it specifically because she’d purposely taken the sweatshirt home—like a prize. “Still cold?” he’d asked. She smiled as Aaron sat in a chair, putting a hot fire in between himself and Ruby.
“Not so much,” she said, snuggling into the sweatshirt, which smelled of Aaron. She liked that. Ruby had woken too many mornings, alone in her bed, wishing that something smelled of him. “It’s beautiful out here.” Staring into the cool twilight, Ruby admired the stars that sparkled over the water view. “Chilly… but beautiful.”
She looked back at Aaron, his beer bottle pointing toward the placid lake. “If you think it’s beautiful here, you should see the other side. It’s way more remote, but… well, there’s a spot over there I’d love to show you someday.”
“So why don’t you take me there?” She recalled it vividly, the way Aaron had cleared his throat and shifted his position, guzzling a long mouthful of beer.
“For the same reason we’re sitting here instead of hanging out inside.”
“Which would be?” she’d innocently asked.
“Exactly,” Aaron had said, shaking his head. “It hasn’t even crossed your mind why we need to be out here.”
Ruby hadn’t understood what he meant, but she found the remark off-putting just the same and moved from her chair to the deck rail. Aaron followed, his arms wrapping around her. She’d softened at his touch, loving the way he could so completely embrace her—mind and body. But as Aaron pressed against her backside, Ruby put two and two together. She felt utterly stupid. “Oh, I guess inside might lead to a lot of other things. A little more inviting than your car, definitely more freedom than my living room.”
“I thought my sister and brother were here. They probably went to the movies again. Jake’s first big part. I think they’ve seen Heaven Help Him a half-dozen times.”
Jake’s romantic lead was easy to understand. Aaron’s hesitation, not so much. “Inside, alone with me,” she’d said. “Would that be such an awful thing?” Ruby had turned in his arms, kissing him like she needed to prove something. Aaron welcomed the kiss, his hand slipping beneath the bulky fabric of the sweatshirt. He was an incredible kisser, not too much of anything, and the right amount of everything. But it was his touch that took Ruby somewhere else, a place she still couldn’t get her mind around, not entirely. Every time Aaron’s hands met with her body, an explosion of feelings made gravity arguable. Emotions invaded her head while other sensations emerged in places she hadn’t anticipated.
Most of what she knew about boys, even sex, was Tandy talk—how they usually were nice until they got what they wanted, then maybe not so nice anymore. Tandy had war
ned as much about Aaron. But he wasn’t a boy. Aaron was a grown man. While Tandy remained doubtful, even cynical, Aaron had convinced her father that his intentions were honorable—a fact that had inadvertently influenced Ruby.
Thinking back, standing on the Clairmont’s doormat, Ruby rolled her eyes. So much for honorable…
But as their relationship had progressed, Ruby thought less about other people’s concerns, trusting Aaron and her instincts. Ruby almost reached for the doorbell, but the memory of that night was too vivid, too tempting, and she was destined to recall the rest. Ruby had pushed their conversation about sex that night. She encouraged the moment by grinding hard against Aaron, running her hand over the straining denim of his jeans. Aaron’s kisses grew more passionate, his hand cupped firm around her ass. Anxious breaths and soft moans spoke for them, and he touched Ruby in a way that exceeded previous encounters. Things intensified, Aaron’s hands moving deftly from the backside of her jeans to the front. Ruby gripped deeper into the muscles of his arms, her heart hitting a rhythm that seemed… dangerous. Aaron’s finger crooked around the waistband of her jeans, hovering over the button.
But instead of popping it, she felt his fist close. His other hand made fewer objections, more progress, and Ruby leaned willingly into Aaron’s touch. Even through the fabric, he managed to cause a buzz that made her want more. Ruby cursed the outfit she’d worn. If she’d chosen a dress or skirt, Aaron wouldn’t have been deterred. The moment would have moved on to what came next. A needy sigh slipped from Ruby’s throat. Instinct said if things progressed, the frustrated feeling that so often followed her home and into bed might be cured.
