by L. J. Wilson
Ruby didn’t want him to stop. But that’s what he was doing, showing a breadth of restraint that was unavailable to her. “What… why…?” she’d said as he kissed her forehead, shifting his hands to more suitable places. It made her feel like a child as opposed to Aaron’s would-be lover.
He was quick to comfort, pulling Ruby tightly to him. “Because this isn’t going to happen out of nothing but heated passion. I don’t want to be that guy.”
“Be that guy…” she’d murmured. They both laughed. But then Ruby inched back, looking into his face. “I’m confused. Don’t you want… Isn’t this how it’s supposed to happen?”
“In the movies, in theory, in my past… yes. But this is real, Ruby, more complicated—at least for me. Sex wasn’t my intention coming here tonight. If we go in the house, we’re going to end up in my bed—I don’t have that much self-control. My choir-boy credentials will be revoked.”
“But if we both want…”
“Don’t say that.” Aaron had pressed a finger to her lips. “It’s not about that… or just that. These have been the best months of my life. And as bad…” His head tilted back. “Make that as desperately as I want that part of this to happen, I don’t it want it to be something you’re not ready for.” He’d looked hard into her eyes. “And I don’t think you’re there yet. You’re not Tandy.” Ruby hadn’t been sure what he meant by that. “You’re not like any girl I’ve ever met.”
She’d had a clearer picture of that. Somewhere there was probably a list—with ratings. Ruby had even run into an Aaron ex in town, a hot endless blonde who’d asked if she was Ruby Vasquez… “Seriously? The Ruby Vasquez who’s dating Aaron Clairmont?” She’d looked up at the woman, feeling awkward and disturbingly not tall. The woman had rolled her eyes, which were framed in spider-leg lashes. Then she’d laughed. “Good luck with that, honey…” But Aaron had never made her feel that way. Not until now. “Are you afraid I’ll disappoint you?” she’d asked out of nowhere.
“What?” The expression on his face went from frustration to confusion. “Disappoint me? Not even a remote consideration.”
She remembered Aaron’s hand scrubbing around his neck, an exasperated gesture.
“Ruby,” he’d said, taking her hands in his. “What is so clearly on both our minds right now… I get the sex part. That’s not it.”
She could see he was having trouble articulating whatever was stopping him.
“Let me tell you something about me that might surprise you.”
She listened, waiting to be enlightened.
“I don’t see an end to this… to us.”
She’d listened harder.
“Other relationships… they were more about the moment. In some ways, I’m glad they happened.”
Ruby shifted uncomfortably. Even then, she didn’t like thinking about Aaron and other women—particularly when so many had knowledge she didn’t.
“Those relationships…” he’d said. “They made it easy to see how different this is. I don’t want to make myself out to be some kind of prowling… unfeeling... prick.”
Her eyes had widened at that.
“But…”
“But that’s what you were.”
“In some instances… yes. I’m not proud of it. And this… this isn’t that.”
“Why?”
Ruby knew it was the innocent questions that had always thrown him the most. Aaron let go, jerking back a step, as if maybe the answer had frightened him. Ruby remembered wanting to laugh. Aaron wasn’t afraid of anything. She’d watched his face evolve—frustration to confusion to acceptance. “Because I am totally…” A surrendering breath pumped out of him. “…totally in love with you. I will do anything to keep from screwing this up—even if it means a few hundred more cold showers.”
“You take cold showers?” she’d asked, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She found the notion torturously endearing.
“I’ve singlehandedly cut our hot-water bill in half.”
“That’s a lot of cold showers.”
“Tell me about it. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but sex is not going to happen. Not until you completely understand what it’s going to mean between us.”
Ruby thought for a moment, smiling shyly. “Are you saying it might be better if I had a fling or two, just to prove to myself that I only want you?”
Aaron’s jaw slacked. “Uh, absolutely fucking not.” He’d realized she was joking, but he didn’t seem to think it was all that funny. “I’m just trying to make this even. I’m being a horrible hypocrite because I know what I’m asking. I don’t want you to have those other experiences—ever.” The rugged planes of his face softened. “Without coming off as creepy… possessive, which are not cool things… The idea of you and someone else… I think it would honestly kill me.”
Ruby didn’t reply, hugging him instead.
“So you need to find another way to be sure… Sure that as far as you can see, I’m the only guy you’re ever going to want to do this with.”
Ruby had thought Aaron looked hurt when she didn’t immediately return the sentiment or insist that a learning curve was not necessary. And it wasn’t that she didn’t feel it. In fact, she’d probably concluded the emotion before Aaron had—simple and obvious. But Ruby also realized there was a lot of wisdom in what he’d said that night. It wasn’t about the obvious. What he was saying was that Ruby needed to think about the whole rest of her life. If it was real and lasting, what was the rush? She hadn’t jumped at any guy before him. Maybe the one she loved deserved even more thought.
It took that winter and the following spring to bring those feelings full circle, give them the respect they deserved. The wait had been vigilant, Ruby using the time to fully appreciate how committed they were—the first tattoo included. Then one spring evening, fishing off the dock of the house on Lakeshore Drive, she’d said, “Aaron, remember last fall when we talked about why we were sitting outside your house, freezing, instead of going inside?’”
“I remember,” he’d said, concentrating on his pole.
“I’m ready to go inside.”
Aaron nodded, calmly reeling in his fishing line. Finally, he’d glanced at Ruby. “Okay. And this time you won’t get an argument from me.”
The memory rushed Ruby. She almost turned, bolting from the Clairmont front door. She didn’t move. But an older, wiser Ruby did run a hand lightly over her thigh—the love and happiness ink that had turned into nothing but failed body art. She closed her eyes and forced the lump in her throat downward. It was huge and choking. She wasn’t sure how she found the doorbell, numbly pressing a finger into it.
“Ruby. What in the world…” Honor had answered the door, her gaping mouth conveying ample surprise.
She was relieved it was Honor, although Ruby tensed as Aaron’s sister insisted she come inside. Most of her wanted to say the front door was far enough. Could they talk right there? But she found herself following, a flood of reminiscent smells and heated memories moving along with her. Every part of Ruby was on high alert, determined to deliver detached emotion the moment she saw Aaron. She’d hang tight to that resolve while informing him that what happened that morning was a mistake. An insane crazy mistake.
Inside the Clairmont kitchen, it didn’t go quite that smoothly. Ruby mentally stumbled and audibly gasped. The man seated on a barstool was looking down, absorbed in a newspaper. It was slow motion recognition for Ruby, determining feature by feature that it was Alec, not Aaron. The all too similar bone structure, the way both brothers held their frame, the incessant need for a shave. But the eyes—no one had eyes like Aaron, and she composed herself as Alec’s softer brown ones met with hers.
“Ruby.” His surprise equaled Honor’s. “You’re the last person I expected to see.”
“I can understand that.” She was having trouble focusing, wondering where Aaron was—maybe his bedroom—left at the top of the stairs, end of the hall. Was the overstuffed chair
still there? The one they’d repurposed in more heated moments for less traditional uses. And the sheets. Sheets that smelled of Aaron and had surrounded her—soft white cotton contrasting with his Mediterranean-tone skin and hard body. A shaky breath was visible and Ruby thanked God that they couldn’t read her mind. “I, um… I just had something to say. Is… is Aaron here?” Her voice sounded pitchy and weird, like it belonged to somebody else.
Alec started to speak, but Honor got there first. “No, Ruby, he’s not home.”
She nodded and something beyond her control sank inside. “Okay. Well, then... I’ll tell the two of you. I… I won’t come here again.”
“You know,” Alec interrupted, “you stunned us all, turning up like that yesterday. Nobody had a clue that Ruby Vasquez was Stefan Gerard’s fiancée.”
“It stunned me as much as anyone. I mean, I knew that running into Clairmonts was probable. But I had no idea Honor was working at Abstract Enchantment. I certainly never expected to see Aaron. I didn’t know he’d been released.”
“And it wasn’t without condition,” Alec said, steering the conversation. Clairmont men could be like that—they liked their control. “If Aaron gets into trouble, his ass will be in lockup faster than you can run your boyfriend’s credit card. So if it’s your intention to screw him over—”
“Alec!” Honor said, shooting him an angry look.
“It’s all right,” Ruby said, holding up her hand. She also understood Clairmont loyalty. No matter what Aaron had done, they’d defend their brother. She respected the allegiance—she’d even admired it. Maybe she still did. “I have no intention of doing that. I only came here to tell you… Well, to suggest that it might be better if Aaron didn’t work at Abstract Enchantment. Stefan… my fiancé,” she said, thrusting conviction into the sentence, “isn’t aware of Aaron’s past—what he did or our history.”
Honor’s brow furrowed. “It makes sense. When I explained the situation to Stefan, he specifically told me he didn’t want to know what Aaron had done. He said if he was going to offer a clean slate… well, then that’s exactly what it should be. I thought it was very magnanimous of him.”
“So you see it,” she said. “Stefan has that side. He’s been wonderful to me. After I relocated to California… I had a difficult time getting my life back together. Stefan changed all of that.”
Neither brother nor sister spoke right away, trading glances. “If you’re happy, Ruby, then we’re happy for you. Right, Alec?”
“Yeah. Sure. Guess it’s just different than the happy ending we were all expecting.”
“I get how you might feel that way. But I am going to be happy,” she insisted. “So very happy. Stefan’s a wonderful man.”
Alec narrowed his eyes. “So wonderful that it’s better to warn Aaron to quit his job than just to bring Stefan up to speed, come clean?”
“Like I told you,” she said, trying to paint the right picture. “Stefan has a caring, benevolent side. But he’d also want to… shield me from any upset. He knows there was an attempt on my father’s life. He’s well aware of how unhappy I was when we met. If he knew the person responsible for that worked for him… that I shared a past with him. I think Stefan would have a hard time fitting caring and benevolent into his reaction. It might not end well for Aaron.”
“And if he found out you and Aaron have a history that could be recorded in volumes… I don’t suppose that would end too well for you.”
“What? That’s not why I came here, Alec. Facts on the table, I don’t owe your brother a damn thing. I could have called security the second he showed up in my suite this morning—”
“But that’s not what happened, is it Ruby?” Alec said, standing. He snorted a laugh. “Aaron hinted at what went on—sounded like it was way more than conversation.”
Ruby looked away, her face stinging red.
“Want to explain that? Because it sure as hell confused Aaron.” She offered nothing, and he continued. “Maybe it’s more like this. Instead of claiming that your visit here is a courtesy to us, ask yourself why that happened? Why wasn’t your reaction absolute disgust the second you were alone with Aaron?”
“It was an insane crazy mistake,” Ruby said, putting her ready-made reasoning to work. “Surely you’re familiar with the concept. Isn’t that how you make peace with what Aaron did? Attempting to kill my father… surely it was a mistake, a moment of insanity. It wasn’t that Dante Vasquez was about to block all his drug-trafficking routes, cutting off Aaron’s supply chain. And certainly it had nothing to do with Silas Brikk’s demand that he prove himself. It was just a mistake, right, Alec?”
“Actually,” Alec said, “I’ve never thought any such thing. It’s been more about me wondering what we don’t know. What hasn’t Aaron told us? I heard what the DA said. I’m well aware of what the judge laid down. But you knew Aaron as well as any of us. Yet you still believe he did something that cold blooded for money, to prove himself to a drug-trafficking underworld. That he’d risk you for that.”
On the inside, Ruby trembled, yet she stared defiantly. “He didn’t give me much choice, Alec. Aaron refused to see me in prison. His attorney wouldn’t return my calls. One message, that’s all I got. One message from his lawyer— ‘Aaron says don’t come back. He has nothing to say to you.’ It wasn’t exactly a confidence builder.”
Alec sat and sharply flipped a newspaper page. Ruby was surprised when it didn’t fly off the counter. “Maybe I’ve got no right, certainly no proof… But sometimes, Ruby, you’re the one I don’t get.”
“Enough, Alec.” Honor turned toward Ruby. “I’m sorry. He’s… Well, I’m sure you can understand how hard this has been for all of us.”
“Sure,” she said quietly. “I get it.” She forced a teary blink into check. “Maybe… maybe you could just look at it from my point of view. I’m doing my best to see it from yours.” Then she said louder, “He wasn’t your father, Alec. And you didn’t plan on spending your life with the man who admitted to wanting him dead. In the end, you got your brother back. I’m sorry if you find my capacity to forgive lacking.”
He didn’t move, focused on black and white words.
“I didn’t come here for Aaron. I came here for all of you. We might agree that Stefan can be magnanimous. But that feeling won’t carry over if he finds out about Aaron. Telling him wouldn’t be to anyone’s benefit. I’ve spent years putting it all behind me. I don’t want to revisit it. I want to move on.”
“Then why did you come back?” Alec said, folding his arms.
“Excuse me?”
“Explain that much. If Aaron and Nickel Springs are such a dismal part of your past, why bother coming back here? It’s a big world. Surely there were other sweet spots for romantic inns.”
Ruby hedged and hesitated, finessing the truth. “Aside from the bad memories, I have good ones. Nickel Springs was my home too. Naturally, Stefan didn’t make the other connections. The old Rose Arch Inn was the perfect spot for Abstract Enchantment.”
“I see. Well, I guess you got a little more than you bargained for. So deal with it—especially if it’s like you say, if Aaron means nothing to you.”
“Do… do you think you’ll convince him to quit?”
Honor opened her mouth, but Alec was quicker to answer. “Doubtful. I believe you’re aware of Aaron’s determined nature.”
“But why? Why would Aaron risk his freedom and future knowing this?”
Alec snickered, turning a page. “You figure it out.”
She was done with this. Regardless of loyalty, she didn’t deserve to be harassed by Alec Clairmont. “That’s not going to happen,” Ruby said, sounding surer. “I won’t be spending my time thinking about Aaron. I have a brand-new future… with Stefan.”
Alec looked up from his newspaper. “Then go for it. And you’ll be glad to know that Aaron’s doing the same.” He poked at a colorful advertisement. “In fact, he’s out with Shauna right now, on a date. He took her t
o this swanky new restaurant on the outskirts of town.”
Ruby’s body was still, her mind soaking up the imagery. Aaron is on a date with Shauna… breathtakingly beautiful Shauna…
“So there you go,” Alec said. “I guess life does go on for everyone.”
She needed a new lipstick, breath mints, and a bottle of Excedrin. It was only a coincidence, Ruby insisted, that she picked up a newspaper while in Daley’s Drug Emporium. The brick building had been standing for six decades. Outside were a worn wooden bench, an old-fashioned Coke machine, and the only pay phone left in Nickel Springs. If Ruby remembered right, the bench bore several carved hearts: T. L. and the initials of whatever boy had Tandy’s eye at the time. Inside, old man Daley, who’d once been young man Daley, (though not in Ruby’s day), pointed a wobbly finger at her. “Hey, you’re her… that pretty Vasquez girl.”
“I am, Mr. Daley. It’s nice to see you. I didn’t know you…”
“Were still alive?” he said, laughing.
“Not at all.” She smiled. “I just thought maybe you’d retired to Florida.”
“Nah, that place is nothin’ but God’s waitin’ room. But I am surprised to see you. Got that Clairmont boy with you?”
His memory was crystal, even if the timeline wasn’t. “No. We’re… we haven’t been together for ages.”
“Huh. Seems more like yesterday. Aaron, right?” He nodded at his own confirmation. “That was tough, what happened to the mom and dad—those kids gettin’ left like that,” he said, trailing off. “The boys, they were a good-lookin’ lot—wild but good-lookin’. The girl, she was a sweet thing, different from those roughhousers.” He shook his head. “Anyways, Aaron, he was a good kid. ’Cept… except until something happened. Can’t recall what though.” He laughed again. “Guess that’s why they don’t let me fill the prescriptions around here anymore.” Restocking toothbrushes, he peered sheepishly over the rim of his glasses. “’Course now that you mention him, I haven’t seen Aaron Clairmont in ages. What ever happened to that kid?” he asked as if Ruby were responsible for the answer. His yellow-toothed smile widened. “Well, I suppose it’ll come to me. But I am sorry to hear about the two of you. I do remember how smitten that boy was.” From a cash register as antiquated as him, Mr. Daley rang up her purchases. “That’ll be $16.26.”
