Searching Hearts Box Set: Books 1-5

by St. Clair, Ellie

  The thought made Polly almost sick with horror. “No, I do not think I can,” she said, hoarsely. “I do not want to so much as even dance with another gentleman!”

  “Then what will you say to your mother?” he asked, quietly. “She will not understand if you simply cry off all the balls and soirees that are sure to follow. The truth will come out in the end, Lady Polly.”

  “I know what you are trying to do,” Polly muttered dejectedly. “I know you are trying to make me see that I must share the truth with my parents, but I cannot bring myself to do it. They will be so ashamed of me.” She dropped her head, tears pooling in her eyes and splashing onto her folded hands. Her mother had been right about Yardley. Lord Taylor had been right about Yardley. She had been the one who was so wrong.

  “Your mother will understand, I am sure of it,” Lord Taylor said, reassuringly as he raised a hand and wiped a tear from her cheek. “She was not as unaffected by Yardley’s apparently kind and amiable disposition as you might think. I know she listened to what I had to say and spoke to you about it, but there was still something about Yardley that had her believing that he was, in fact, a changed man.”

  Polly shook her head, tears flowing freely now, in anger, frustration, and regret. “I refused to listen to either of you, Lord Taylor. I am truly sorry for ignoring your advice. It was foolish of me to do so.”

  He squeezed her hand lightly. “Do not fret, Polly, I am not offended nor upset. It is only for you that I am worried now. I hate to see you in such a state.”

  As Polly glanced up at him, she saw the anger flare in his eyes, the tightening of his jaw. Clearly, the man was furious with Lord Yardley, and Polly could not help but feel a little appreciative of the fact.

  “Lord Yardley will not say or do anything more to harm you, Lady Polly,” he continued. “I have made sure of that, and if I hear even the slightest whisper, I will call the man out at once.”

  A slow warmth began to creep into Polly’s soul, wrapping around her heart and beginning to soothe the icy pain that clung there. She looked at him quizzically. “Why are you being so kind to me, Lord Taylor?”

  “I could not exactly let you deal with this alone now, could I?” he asked, with a slight smile. “I am also very fond of your sister. What kind of gentleman would I be if I were to step away when you clearly need someone with you? Although I still think that—”

  “I ought to tell my mother, yes,” she interrupted, taking his offered handkerchief and wiping her eyes. “Lord Taylor, I think I must return home now. I have to think about what to do.” Her mind was whirling with all kinds of thoughts, flinging her from anger and frustration to despair and heart-shattering pain with every moment that passed. “Might I ask you to go find my mother? I do not wish to go in search of her now, not when I am in the state that I am, looking such a fright, with everyone watching and… ” She trailed off, gesturing to the guests below.

  Lord Taylor understood. “Not when Yardley might be there,” he said, with a tight smile. “Although I doubt it, with his bloody nose.” He patted her hand and then released it, getting to his feet. “I’ll find your mother at once. Again, I’m sorry this has happened to you, Lady Polly. Gentlemen like Yardley do not deserve a woman like you. Whatever you do though — do not let him break your spirit.”

  Polly watched him go, feeling bereft over all that had occurred this evening. Lord Taylor was trying to be so kind to her and she simply could not feel anything but humiliation. He must think her an absolute fool. Her desperation to leave grew with every passing moment, until she was pacing up and down the corridor. She was filled with relief when she saw her mother come hurrying toward her.

  “Polly! Lord Taylor said you were ill!” She grasped Polly’s chin gently, looking at her carefully. “You are very pale, your eyes are bloodshot, and your nose is rather red. What’s wrong, darling?”

  “I – I think I need to retire, Mama. I believe something has bothered me and I feel quite unwell,” Polly said quietly to her mother, who began to look somewhat panicked, as Polly was not wont to give in to illness. “Can we go home?”

  “Of course we can, at once,” her mother replied, soothingly, running her hand over her hair as if she were a child. “Never fear, my sweet girl. We shall have you better before the week is out!”

  11

  Sebastian did not see Lady Polly for the next few days, although he himself continued to attend many social events, despite his ever-growing hatred of them. He wanted to ensure that Lord Yardley did as he had been told and kept his mouth shut. Sebastian had a similar conversation with Lord Jacobs, who ensured he would keep what he saw to himself.

  Thankfully, no rumors began to fly around London and Yardley, given his rather bruised and bloody nose which he attributed to a fall, only made a couple of short appearances. It looked very much as though Lady Polly’s reputation was safe.

  He reported back to the Bow Street Runners, updating them, although leaving out Lady Polly’s name. He told them he felt that the situation had been dealt with, although he would keep them apprised of any further developments.

  He had thought about calling on Polly to see how she fared, but had not yet been able to bring himself to do so. Feeling a little uncomfortable with the idea, he had decided to wait until she was back in society before speaking to her again. She had seemed rather embarrassed about the whole incident, and he decided to give her some time. He hoped she wouldn’t continue to associate him with Yardley and the entire affair.

  On his morning ride through Hyde Park, Sebastian tried his best not to let his thoughts dwell on Polly. She had appeared so vulnerable, so broken, that the protector in him was drawn to her, desperate to help her overcome that terrible evening.

  He kept trying to tell himself that he had helped her because it was part of the work he was doing for the Runners. Or perhaps because of his propensity to try to right the wrongs of the world. She was also the sister-in-law of his good friend, and he admired her sister a great deal. In addition, he did not want to see a man like Yardley win his asinine bet, and finally, he did not want to see another suffer the same heartbreak he had years ago, which had turned him into the lonely, cynical man he was.

  Yet in addition to all that, there was more to it, something that he had been trying not to admit to himself. In the time he had been looking out for the woman, the initial attraction he had to her had only continued to grow as he came to know her better. It was part of the reason he had watched her so earnestly, and a part of him wanted her to see him as she did the other gentlemen of her acquaintance.

  He wanted her warm smiles, her bright eyes, her eager conversation. It was ridiculous of course, given that their difference in years was just short of a decade, and in addition to that he had no wish for a wife, while clearly the girl was searching for marriage. No, it was best Sebastian keep all emotion out of this situation.

  Shaking his head, Sebastian tried to clear his mind of his ridiculous thoughts and continue his ride, glad that the early morning rendered the park almost entirely empty. Most of the beau monde would still be abed, resting themselves from the night before. Not he. The morning meant an opportunity to be almost entirely alone, to see the park in all its natural glory instead of spattered with carriages and the eligible ladies who walked at an unnaturally slow pace so that they might be seen by others.

  He was growing weary of London and knew he had to be returning home — his true home — soon. He was curious, however, as to whether or not Lady Polly would return to society.

  What if she did? Would he stay also, hoping that she might turn her smiles to him now and again? Realizing the extent of his foolishness, Sebastian muttered darkly under his breath, forcing himself to consider leaving London rather soon and return to his country estate and all his responsibilities there. He had nothing to stay for here.

  “Lord Taylor?”

  Reining in his horse, Sebastian turned around at once, surprised to hear someone call his name. Much to his astoni
shment, he saw none other than the woman who occupied his thoughts – her maid in tow – hurrying down the riding path toward him. As she neared, he noted that she was rather pale, and her eyes had lost their brightness. Clearly, the incident with Yardley still had its effects on her. He dismounted and came round to face her.

  “Oh, Lord Taylor, I am vastly relieved to see you,” Lady Polly exclaimed, coming to a stop just in front of him. “I was going to write to you and invite you to call, but Mama said it would be most inappropriate, and I did not want you to get the wrong impression.”

  Feeling his skin prickle, Sebastian forced a smile and bowed, thinking that had she written him he certainly might have, very easily, got the wrong impression. “I am glad to see you out walking, Lady Polly. How are you?”

  She shook her head, catching her trembling bottom lip in her teeth. “Lord Taylor, I have decided to leave London.”

  “Leave?” he repeated, rather surprised. “But I thought—”

  “I have been shown to be a fool, and I cannot stand the thought of continuing to dance and smile when all the time I know how I was played. I can hardly trust any other gentleman now,” she said, looking away from him. “However, Mama will not hear of leaving. She looks forward to the Season all year, and has a great many acquaintances to see and parties to attend, so she refuses to return to the country. My father has actually returned to London on business, so he will also not be residence at our country home.”

  Sebastian gave her a rueful smile. “Mayhap if you told your mother the truth of what had happened, she might…”

  “No,” Lady Polly replied at once, shaking her head, her voice trembling slightly. “Therefore, I have written to ask my sister and brother-in-law if they could accommodate me for a time. I received their reply this morning – I am welcome whenever I choose to go. I spoke to my father immediately and, after some discussion – of which I did not give all too much away – he has allowed me to go, although he does not think he will be able to so easily convince my mother. In fact, I am sure she will do all she can to put me off going but I shall leave either way.”

  “I see,” Sebastian replied, relieved that she had somewhere to go. “Then you must give my regards to Lord and Lady Greville.”

  “Will you come with me?”

  Her question stunned him, and he felt his mouth fall open for a moment.

  “I have shocked you, I see, but I must ask you again if you will consider coming to stay at the Greville estate. I have no one to accompany me, and I would not like to ask Lord Greville to come to town simply to escort me back to his home. Besides,” she continued, her cheeks turning a becoming pink as she glanced away, “You are the only one who knows what occurred, so I do not have to worry about keeping anything from you. Were you to come to Colemore, Greville’s estate, then we would be able to talk freely.”

  Sebastian tapped his fingers against his leg, looking away for a moment. This was certainly astonishing, her asking him such a thing, of course, but the truth was, he’d wanted to agree almost immediately. However, to go to Colemore would mean that his return to his own estate would be delayed, for most likely he would remain for an extended visit. The only reason he had lingered in London for as long as he had was to watch out for Lady Polly, and if she was now going to the Greville estate, then he had nothing with which to concern himself any longer. She would have Violet to look after her.

  “Lady Polly, I appreciate the trust you have placed in me,” he said, slowly. “But what about your sister? Could you not speak to her about all that has happened?”

  Her gaze lifted to his and, in the depths of her deep blue eyes, he saw her disappointment.

  “Yes, of course,” she mumbled, dropping her head, but not before he saw the color rush into her cheeks and he felt rather like a boor for causing her upset. “I suppose I shall have to tell someone all that has occurred, and you are right, Violet will understand, I’m quite sure. I do apologize for interrupting your ride, Lord Taylor.”

  “Did you come here seeking me out?” he asked before she could turn away.

  “Yes, as I matter of fact, I did,” she said, a slight smile on her face. “I recall you telling me that you spend your mornings here riding. I can see why. It is rather beautiful at this time of day.”

  “When do you wish to leave?”

  The words left his mouth before he could stop them. One moment, he had been watching her speak, reflecting on the beauty before him, not in the park but in the woman, and the next he was agreeing to her request. He saw Lady Polly look up at him in surprise, her eyes wide as she stared at him.

  “You are going to come then?”

  He cleared his throat gruffly, shuffling his feet just a little. “Apparently, I am. You will have your maid with you on the journey, will you not?”

  “Yes, of course,” she replied, a broad smile stretching across her face. “Papa is to lend me his carriage, and he has a whole entourage of servants to attend me, even though Colemore is not all that far from London.” Her eyes grew warm. “I shall tell him I no longer require all that.”

  “I shall probably ride,” Sebastian said, hastily. “After all, as you say, it is not all too far to the estate, and it has been some time since I have had the opportunity to ride outside the city.” He was not altogether sure how he had managed to agree to such a thing but, given the happiness on Lady Polly’s features, he could not back away now.

  “Very good,” she answered, stepping forward and capturing his hands in hers. “I cannot tell you what this means to me, Lord Taylor. I am truly grateful, if not a trifle embarrassed still, by all that you have done for me. I do not know why I deserve your kindness, but do know it means a very great deal to me.”

  For a moment, Sebastian could not speak, caught up by the depths of the ocean of Lady Polly’s eyes. She couldn’t seem to hide her emotions, and he seemed to become lost in them, finding himself mute, his arms tingling from where she touched his hands. It was an extraordinary sensation that he didn’t think he had ever before experienced.

  “Will you be ready to leave by the end of the week?”

  Clearing his throat again, Sebastian nodded, somewhat relieved when she took her hands from his because of his reaction to her touch. “Yes of course. I was, in fact, planning on leaving London myself so most of my packing is already underway.”

  Her eyes dimmed. “If I am keeping you from returning to your own estate, then I—”

  “No, indeed, I would be glad to see both Lord and Lady Greville again,” Sebastian declared, smiling broadly. “You need have nothing to worry about in that regard, my dear Lady Polly – although I do hope Greville will not mind my sudden appearance there!”

  She laughed, the worry fading from her expression. “I am quite sure he will be very glad to see you. My sister also speaks highly of you, and it takes a lot to impress her. I shall write to them this morning and tell them that you are coming. Thank you, Lord Taylor. I had best return home now.”

  “Good day, Lady Polly.”

  Sebastian bowed low and waited for her to pass before straightening. He could not quite bring himself to turn around and watch her walk away, even though something in him was begging to do just that.

  He did not want to linger any untoward thoughts on her. She was, after all, a lady in some distress, and he was the gentleman she had turned to for help. There was no need for him to consider her in any other light than that.

  And yet his heart began to fill with her, growing rather pleased that they would soon be making their way, together, toward the Greville estate. They would be in close quarters, seeing each other every day, growing closer with every conversation, every smile.

  “Ridiculous!” he said out loud, climbing back on his horse, his brows drawn together, his cheeks warm as he realized he was acting like a woman with fanciful notions. He was thinking of Lady Polly in a way that was entirely inappropriate.

  She had turned to him for help and that was all he needed to concern himself wit
h. She seemed to look upon him almost like an older brother, and he ought not to be considering the fairness of her eyes, the warmth of her smile, nor about how quickly his heart beat when she drew near him.

  None of that mattered. After all Lady Polly had experienced with Lord Yardley, the last thing she would want right now would be a romantic encounter with another, different gentleman. It had taken him years after his own rejection to consider another woman in such a light. He paused for a moment. Is that what he was doing now? No, he shook his head. He was simply attracted to the girl, that was all.

  He should respect her circumstances, be aware that all she required from him was friendship, stability, and encouragement — unhindered by any kind of romantic undercurrent.

  Taking a deep breath, Sebastian set his shoulders and determined that he would rid himself of all such feelings and be as much of a friend as he could to Polly. She would require his support, not his heart, and that was all he intended to give.

  12

  Polly began packing for her journey to see her sister, her emotions twisting inside of her. She felt silly for asking Lord Taylor to accompany her, and yet she was both rather surprised and pleased he had accepted. She had wanted the companionship on the journey, and when she thought of who she’d like to accompany her, he had immediately come into her mind, which she knew was rather odd.

  There was, however, something about him that made her feel … comfortable, and safe. Like an older brother, she told herself, though she knew it was more than that. She was drawn to him in a way she couldn’t completely explain, even to herself.

  “Are you going to miss London, my lady?” Lucy asked, as she folded some of Polly’s dresses and laid them in the traveling bag.