Pyxis: Book Three of The Stardust Series

by Autumn Reed

  When I saw two men enter the garden, one shortly after the other, I sat up straighter and squinted, trying to make out their faces. They were too far away for me to identify, but I could tell by their stiff postures that they weren’t there for a relaxing Sunday afternoon stroll. The first man was surreptitiously looking around and I knew the moment he spotted me, because he casually inclined his head in my direction before stepping off the path to admire the koi pond, or at least pretend to.

  The other man walked straight for me, and even as he got closer, I never would have guessed that he was Gerald Douglas. Obviously wanting to remain incognito, he was wearing jeans, a T-shirt and light jacket, a worn ball cap, and sunglasses. For a few seconds I doubted my assumption that Douglas was behind the note, but as soon as I heard his polished voice, I knew I had been correct.

  “Good afternoon, Haley,” he said politely as he sat down about a foot away from me on the bench. “Or should I call you Kira?”

  My heart leapt to my throat at his words, no longer unable to deny that my identity had been discovered. Refusing to show weakness, I lifted my chin and calmly responded, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He removed his sunglasses and gave me a patronizing smile. “No need to play games, my dear. I’m not going to harm you. I only want to talk.” When I didn’t say anything, he continued, “You were smart to follow my instructions and not bring any of your bodyguards along.”

  “Yet you brought one of your goons,” I said snarkily.

  Douglas laughed. “Touché. A man in my position can never be too careful.”

  “And what could a man in your position possibly want with me?” I asked, more than ready for him to get to the point.

  “Information. I want you to help me get in touch with your father.”

  “You have the wrong person,” I insisted. I knew it was useless, but I couldn’t help but continue to refute my identity—the one my dad had fought to keep secret for so many years. “I don’t know a Kira. And my father is dead,” I lied.

  He shook his head. “I know you are Kira Taylor, so there is no use denying it. As soon as I found out there was a good chance that Brian Taylor was still alive, I considered that you might be as well. I hired a sketch artist to render a drawing of how you would likely look at eighteen, and it turns out that he is even more talented than I realized. When I saw you at the Zenith Youth event, I recognized you immediately.

  “I asked around and found out that you started working at Zenith shortly after your father was discovered and now you even live with one of the men who was assigned to confirming his location. There are way too many coincidences for it to be anything other than the truth. Of course, it also helps that you look remarkably like your mother.”

  Douglas paused and gave me an overly-tolerant smile. “So you might as well admit you’re Kira so we can move on with this conversation.”

  A rush of emotion poured over me at his words. Despite all of the negative feelings this meeting had brought to the surface, Douglas mentioning that I looked like my mother almost brought happy tears to my eyes. My dad had said the same, especially over the last couple of years, but I had no way of confirming it. Because of the way we were forced to disappear from our lives, we didn’t have a single photograph of my mom, even before the fire. My memory of her appearance had faded little by little until all that remained were blurry snapshots of moments in time.

  Knowing he was right—there were way too many coincidences to have any hope of talking my way out of this—I finally said, “I can’t help you. I have no idea where he is.”

  His hawkish eyes bore into mine. “I find it hard to believe that Taylor’s only daughter doesn’t know where he is.”

  Feeling defensive, I folded my arms over my chest and responded, “Believe what you will. That’s the truth.”

  “Surely you at least have a way to contact him?”

  I shook my head, hoping he wouldn’t realize that part was technically false, although my way of contacting him was less than unreliable.

  Douglas sighed loudly, like he was disappointed with me. “I’m not the bad guy here. I have no desire to harm you or your father, but I very much need to speak with him. If you can help me do that, you will never hear from me again. I promise.”

  I had to give him credit—he was very convincing, but I knew better than to trust him. Deciding it was time to garner sympathy and hopefully manipulate him into leaving me alone, I allowed my eyes to well up with unshed tears. “I really wish I knew where he was. I miss him so much. But, I honestly don’t know.”

  “That’s too bad,” Douglas said almost sadly. “I wanted to do this the easy way, but I guess we’ll move on to the hard way.” Uh oh. That does not sound good. Apparently he wasn’t moved by my speech, and I braced myself for his next words.

  “If you do not assist me, I will reveal your identity to the world, and we both know you don’t want that.” His voice had turned cold, and I had no doubt that he would do it.

  Fearful and angry from his threat, I exclaimed, “I swear I do not know. He’s clearly in hiding.”

  “I don’t believe you. If nothing else, you must have some way to get in touch with him. So, I’m giving you until May first—that’s approximately two weeks—to find a way to have him contact me. If I do not hear from him by midnight on the first, you’ll find your name, photo, and life story splashed all over the news. You’re a smart girl. Figure it out.”

  He handed me a business card that was blank other than a phone number typed on it. “Have your father call me at that number.”

  Then, almost like it was an afterthought, he said, “If you tell any of your friends at Zenith about this, the consequences for them will be severe. I have some juicy information about your roommate with the tattoos that I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate being made public. And that’s just the start. Trust me—I’ll know if you tell.”

  Placing his sunglasses back on his face, Douglas stood. “Do we have an understanding?”

  Knowing I had no choice but to agree, I quietly said, “Yes.”

  “Excellent. It was a pleasure to meet you.” Then, he ambled to the garden entrance, his goon following a minute later.

  I slumped back against the bench and tried to keep my emotions in check. While I knew that whatever Douglas had to say wouldn’t be good news, I never imagined that he would resort to such dramatic measures. I was nothing but a pawn that he was willing to sacrifice for his own gain. What the hell am I going to do?

  Should I ignore his threat and tell the guys anyway? But what if he found out I’d spilled? I didn’t know what information he’d dug up, but I knew enough about Theo’s past to assume it was something that should remain private. And, who knew what other havoc would ensue if I went against Douglas.

  Was there any chance I would be able to get ahold of Dad and tell him what happened? It seemed highly unlikely considering he texted me a couple of weeks ago. I held in a scream of frustration. If only the Batphone actually worked as two-way communication on a regular basis. Maybe I should have insisted that the guys continue looking for my dad instead of quitting. Because of that decision, I was now dealing with a crisis that was partially of my own making.

  I attempted to quiet the frantic thoughts racing through my mind and focus on the critical issues. Worst case scenario, I would fail to meet Douglas’s deadline and he would share my story with the world. Surely the result wouldn’t be that bad . . . DuBois probably didn’t watch TV or read newspapers. I laughed darkly to myself. Yeah right, Haley. Go ahead and live in denial.

  After giving myself plenty of time to decompress, I texted Kara to let her know I was on my way. This was a problem I wouldn’t be able to solve today, and no amount of stressing would make it go away. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if anything short of a miracle would.

  * * *

  I read the same page for the third time, almost ready to give up on my book. Although it had been two days since my meeting with Dougla
s, I felt no more capable of handling the situation. If anything, I was even more panicky about the impending deadline.

  As soon as I arrived back at the loft on Sunday evening, I dialed every number that my dad had previously sent messages from. None of the calls went through, of course. Instead of hiding the phone in the safe in my room, I was keeping it on my person at all times, constantly checking it in hopes that he would contact me. I knew my actions were excessive, and most likely pointless, but I had yet to come up with any alternatives.

  My bedroom door crashed open, and I jumped, my book falling to the floor with a loud thud.

  Ethan strode into the room like he was on mission. “We need to talk.”

  Startled by his intense expression, I hastily stood. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

  He started pacing, his usual laid-back intensity replaced by the scowling, can’t-stand-still variety. “Yes. No.” He paused in the middle of the room. “I don’t know.”

  “Okay, you’re starting to freak me out. Are the guys okay? Did someone get hurt?” I asked, a hundred grim scenarios running through my mind.

  Ethan groaned then started pacing again. “No, it’s not about them. Everyone is fine. This is about us.”

  What? That was not at all what I expected him to say. The last time I checked, there was no “us” to talk about, and definitely nothing that would have him so worked up. “What do you mean?”

  He walked to and from the door a few more times before coming to a stop about a foot in front of me. After taking a few deep breaths, he lifted his arms to gently cup my cheeks. “I want us to be together.”

  Shocked, I stood rooted to the spot, barely able to make sense of his words. He wants us to be together? Like together, together? When his head began to lower, I recognized his intent and instinctively placed both palms against his chest, pushing him away. Hard. Normally, even that much effort against Ethan would have made little impact, but he wasn’t expecting my sudden movement, and he had to take a step back to keep his balance.

  “Haley—”

  “No,” I interrupted. “Give me a second to process this.” After sitting cross-legged on my bed with a pillow hugged to my chest, I pointed to the chair. “Sit there,” I commanded, hoping he wouldn’t attempt to join me on the bed. He obeyed but pulled the chair as close as he could manage.

  “When you said together . . .” I trailed off, not sure how to ask the question. “I mean, where is this coming from? You’ve barely even spoken to me for the last couple of months.”

  “I meant together in every way. I want us to date, be in a relationship, do the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing. Admittedly, neither one of us has ever done that before, but we can make it up as we go. And, yeah, I’ve been a little withdrawn, but that’s because it’s hard to be around you and not be with you.”

  My heart stuttered at the words I’d so longed to hear . . . just not from Ethan, I realized. Not anymore.

  I looked at his face, unusually open and expectant, and gave him the only reply I could muster. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Is this about that stupid no-one-can-pursue-Haley decree? Because I know that you know about it,” he insisted almost harshly.

  “What?” Who told him? Jackson . . . or Chase? “That’s not—”

  Ethan jumped to his feet again. “Aren’t you tired of being told what to do and what not to do? Jackson doesn’t have the right to control our lives, and there’s something between us, Haley.” He stepped close and reached for my hand. “I have wanted you since the first moment that we met, and if things had been different, I would have done everything in my power to make you mine.” He laughed bitterly. “If it weren’t for that ridiculous rule about not starting anything with you . . .” Squeezing my hand, he gazed intently into my eyes and said, “I know you feel this too.”

  With a deep sigh, I tugged my hand away and replied, “You’re right, I have always felt a connection with you.”

  “Okay, then what’s the problem?”

  “It’s not enough,” I whispered, somehow regretting my words even though I knew with every fiber of my being that they were true.

  “Because of Chase? He had his chance with you, and he blew it.” There’s my answer. Chase must have told Ethan about the kiss and that he revealed the pact to me. I was surprised, but I also knew that Chase would have told him in confidence, trusting Ethan to keep his secret.

  When I didn’t immediately answer, he said, “Or maybe one of the others? You know they won’t ever go against Jackson’s orders, right? There’s no point waiting—”

  “Stop,” I said, cutting him off, suddenly angry that he was putting me in this position. “I can’t be in a relationship with you because of you, Ethan. I know you went home with a random girl during Knox’s party the other night. That was what, a whole four days ago?”

  His chocolate eyes flickered with something that looked a lot like remorse. Good. “That has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”

  Is he kidding? I wanted to throw something but managed to keep my cool, reminding myself that I didn’t have the right to claim betrayal. We weren’t together, and considering I wanted multiple guys, it was hypocritical to hold other girls against him. Still, I couldn’t help how I felt.

  “Maybe it’s unfair, but it does affect how I feel about you. I thought you would have realized by now that I refuse to be another one of your conquests.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “Oh yeah? What is it like then? Please, explain it to me.”

  He opened his mouth and then closed it again, like he couldn’t form the words. Finally, he said, “I don’t know . . . I can’t . . . it’s complicated.” For the first time since I’d known him, his smooth voice lost its confidence. “Please, Haley. Tell me what to say to make this better.”

  Forcing myself to pose the question that I already knew the answer to, I asked, “Did you have sex with her?”

  He sat back down in the chair and stared at his hands, his silence giving me the only response I needed. “That’s just it, Ethan. You can’t say anything to make this better.”

  “It didn’t mean anything, and I would never cheat on you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he said quietly.

  “It’s not about that. Nothing you’ve done makes me believe that you’re ready for a relationship, and I can’t do casual. I’m sorry, but if you really cared about me four days ago, you wouldn’t have slept with a girl you met an hour before.” Thinking back to my favorite memory with Ethan—when I told him Persephone’s story in the cabin—I said, “I wish things were different. Any guy who can recite a quote about how people are like stained-glass windows off the top of his head has the capacity to be an amazing boyfriend. At least someday.”

  “Is that your final answer?” he asked with a melancholy smirk.

  Staring at the ceiling, I pondered his question, not wanting to respond without thinking it through. I couldn’t deny that I’d been attracted to Ethan since the first time I saw him, and I’d always believed that there were hidden depths beneath his smug exterior. He could make me laugh, and he tended to challenge me, to get me worked up—in a good way. But, unwelcome thoughts overwhelmed my senses. I saw the girl on his lap at Theo’s party, the text messages that Liam read aloud on the way to San Francisco, his scantily-clad date at the holiday party, and, of course, his hookup from only nights before. Not to mention his moodiness and the Olympic-sized chip on his shoulder that he’d been carrying around for months.

  The more I thought about it, the more at peace I felt with my decision. I was still confused about me and Chase and me and Liam, Theo, Knox, and Jax, but I was no longer torn over my feelings for Ethan. That realization in and of itself felt like a punch to the stomach. I didn’t want it to be true, but I was somehow relieved that it was.

  “It is,” I replied sadly, a lone tear rolling down my cheek.

  Ethan sat there quietly for a few moments before standing, his
large form looming over me. He leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead. “Goodbye, Starburst,” he whispered, then strode out of the room like he couldn’t leave fast enough.

  Once I heard the front door slam, I collapsed on top of my comforter, torn between heartache and shock. Never in a million years did I expect Ethan to show up and blurt out his feelings for me. And the shattered look on his face when I told him no—it was almost unbearable to think about. I knew it would haunt me for months, if not longer.

  I couldn’t believe how things had gone from relatively ordinary to out of control in the last few weeks. Ever since Chase returned and told me about the pact, it seemed like I was dealing with one thing after another. It wasn’t all bad—Liam’s kisses and finding out Chase wanted to date me were definitely positives—but I was seriously overwhelmed. I had a feeling if even one more thing happened, I would officially break.

  Resigned

  The television flashed in the otherwise dark living room, stirring me from my aimless thoughts. I had put Bend It Like Beckham on, hoping the lighthearted comedy would cheer me up, but I was an hour in and had barely seen any of it.

  Knox was working late, and Theo had gone out with friends for the first time since returning from LA. He begged me to go with him, but I insisted that I was too tired after the long week, which was no exaggeration. Except for the period of time right after my dad disappeared, I didn’t remember ever experiencing such an endless stretch of worry-filled days and sleepless nights.

  It seemed unfathomable, but my current problems felt even more dire than the ones I faced all those months ago. As scary as the first few weeks after the fire had been, now there was so much more at stake. My dad was still missing, DuBois was looking for him, and Douglas was threatening me and Theo, if not all of the guys.

  I was starting to seriously reconsider my decision to keep my clandestine meeting from them. Although Douglas had warned he would know if I said anything, I questioned how, especially considering my first-hand knowledge of the team’s secret-keeping abilities. But, I still wondered what telling them would accomplish. They wouldn’t be able to track down my dad in the next eight days. So, what would they do? Confront Douglas and threaten him back? That would only make things worse, of that I was certain.