The Fallen One

by Lexy Wolfe

  Smiling up at Seeker, Kiya hugged him tight. "The patterns we know are ancient beyond words. The world had grown and we must grow with it. We will do as the Githalin Swordanzen must be doing and discover the patterns as they are now."

  Sighing, Seeker put his arms around Kiya and embraced her. "You and our brother are very much alike. So open to changes, so willing to embrace new ideas, to extend trust to those our people have not been able to trust for so long." He shook his head. "Radisen should have been Su'alin."

  "He is Su'alin, Rengi," Kiya stated firmly. "His gift is as strong as mine, only untrained. He had always been able to see the souls of others and was drawn to protect those with pure hearts, whether they were Desanti or Vodani. If it had not been for his spirit vision being impaired… things would have been different." She looked towards the window again. "I have seen there are Outlanders who have pure hearts. It gives me hope that the Great War will truly end someday for Desantiva."

  "Spirits are not infallible," Seeker warned. "I am not Su'alin and I know this fact."

  "Grandfather's guidance has been true. I do not see any reason to doubt him. But neither am I following him blindly." Kiya looked up at Seeker, expression serious. "Trust me, Rengi. I need you to believe in me. Calling Citali to cleanse the blackness from that place at the Forentan border is nothing to the darkness I must face soon."

  "You said this mage doesn't even realize he needs help." She arched an eyebrow at him. Seeker sighed, kissing her forehead. "I know, I know. All su'dinnais must be dealt with. Just be careful, sister. You are our brother's favorite sibling. He will kill me if anything happens to you."

  "You are not worried about our father?" Kiya asked lightly.

  "The Alanis Su'alin is not likely to leave Desantiva. Skyfire is expected to return here."

  Kiya chuckled. "I will not let Radisen hurt you, Rengi. I promise you." She laughed at his skeptical expression, punching his shoulder.

  Chapter 37

  Soundly asleep on one of the large couches in the study, Nolyn startled awake with a shout of surprise when he felt an unfamiliar touch on his shoulder. Grabbing a slender wrist in a bone-crushing grip, his heart nearly skipped a beat when he realized who stood over him. "Su'alin Kiya!"

  He averted his gaze away from her wide, startled eyes, looking behind her for one of her ever-present guardsmen. Both surprised and unspeakably grateful she was alone, Nolyn begged with fervent apology as he looked away shame-faced, "Forgive me. I did not mean to hurt you."

  "You did not hurt me," Kiya assured, studying him searchingly. "I heard you speaking to someone, but there is no one else here." Kneeling on the floor by him, Kiya moved her veil out of the way and gazed up at him with a faint frown creasing her brow. "Do you often have nightmares?"

  "It is nothing," Nolyn dismissed. "Just my mind refusing to stop running in circles." He sat up, straightening his tunic then running his hand through his hair. He got up to squint out the window at the dark sky. "What time is it?"

  "It is late. No one else in the house is awake except for my kinsmen and I." Kiya remained where she had knelt, her hands clasped lightly in her lap. She looked skeptical about his denial, but did not press him on it. Her golden eyes remained fixed on him with unsettling intensity.

  He regarded her quizzically. "Shouldn't you be sleeping at this hour?"

  Kiya sighed, lowering her eyes. "Desanti do not sleep much, and I did not wish to remain in the rooms you gave us while the others share season dances."

  Nolyn blinked, frowned, then pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, trying to clear the exhaustion from his mind. "I beg pardon?"

  "Seeker and Windsong are sharing a season dance, as are Pacer and Rockspar," Kiya explained. "They decided that this journey would be long enough to take the chance." She sighed, lowering her eyes. "They are fulfilling their duties to the tribes at the moment. I decided it was safe enough to explore this place unescorted. I heard you calling out and followed the sound of your voice."

  Nolyn looked bewildered. "Their duties...?"

  Kiya was silent a moment, eyes unfocused as if she were listening to someone. "Oh, how very strange..." Smiling, she explained, "Seeker and Windsong are joined for a season dance, as are Pacer and Rockspar. If their children survive, they will return to their mothers' tribes, as is tradition."

  The Edai Magus stared at Kiya. When he found his voice, he asked incredulously, "They are...? Right now?"

  "Mating, yes. Right now. Very energetically," Kiya confirmed, speaking as if she were discussing something as common and mundane as the weather. She tilted her head in curiosity. "It is rare for Swordanzen women to choose to breed while they bear the swords of the Totani, but they feel it is safe enough while we await the Githalin Swordanzen's return. I would have thought one of the Githalin would have explained our traditions to you. Breeding is one of the most sacred duties we all aspire to perform well in."

  Looking chagrinned, Nolyn went to the wine cabinet to find an excuse to avoid meeting her piercing, wide eyes. "I confess I had only been able to attend occasional lessons the Githalin gave while they were here. I am more interested in the nature of plants and beasts than I am in people, so I attended those lessons, not your people's culture." Pausing a moment, he asked over his shoulder, "Would you like something to drink?"

  "If you have water, please," Kiya replied from her place on the floor. She studied him for a long moment as he reached for a second glass. "Have you never mated before?" she wondered.

  "What?!" Nolyn nearly dropped the glass he was taking down, fumbling to catch it before it crashed. Grabbing it out of the air, he held it against his breastbone for a moment, looking over his shoulder. "Why would you ask me such a thing?"

  "You seem very... confused about it. It seems strange you would be untried because you are so old, but there are many things that are very confusing in this land." Kiya's voice was very matter-of-fact, not a hint of mockery or insult at all.

  "Oh, my gods, I can't believe I am having this conversation," Nolyn said to himself, dropping his head forward until his forehead hit the frame of the cabinet. He face was hot with embarrassment. Replacing the wine bottle in exchange for the brandy, he filled and drained his glass twice. Feeling a little less flustered, he fumbled for the water pitcher, filling the other glass before bringing it over to Kiya. In the Desanti tradition, he took a small sip before handing it to her.

  Kiya looked worried, staring at the water in her cup. "Forgive me, Edai Magus Nolyn Lirai. I did not mean to insult you," she said in a small voice. Setting the cup on the table by his hand, she started to rise. "I will leave—"

  "No!" Nolyn reached towards Kiya in a gesture to stop, but did not touch her. "You did not insult me, Su'alin Kiya na'Citali. I was just, ah, surprised. My people do not discuss our, ah, more intimate activities so openly."

  "Why not?" Kiya wondered as she resumed kneeling on the floor. "Do outlanders not make arrangements to make children for their tribes to keep the bloodlines strong?"

  Nolyn did not answer immediately as he tried to understand her words. "Do you mean arranging marriages?"

  "Yes!" Kiya's eyes lit up. "Marriage. That was the word I heard among the gypsy women when they discussed their men." She looked him over openly. "You seem to be a very strong warrior. And you have survived a long time, which proves you would be suitable breeding stock. You should have had many marriages and have many children. If you were Desanti, I think you would be sought by many strong women competing to bear your children."

  "Wait! Wait, wait," Nolyn said, holding up his hands, trying and failing to ignore how his cheeks burned with embarrassment. "We... we don't... I think we are talking about different things. A marriage is arranged by the heads of two families. And it is a bond that lasts until one of the two married dies. If there are children, it is only supposed to be between the husband and wife alone."

  It was Kiya's turn to stare at him. "Your people arrange... near lifematings?" She considered the concept for a w
hile. "Well. You do have very many people, so I suppose there would be little risk of not having enough population to breed." She studied him again. "There are contests, to prove their fitness, then?" she stated more than asked. "To make sure the breedings will be strong and true. That is why you have not married. You can find no suitable mate."

  "No," Nolyn said slowly. "It is more about status and other political or financial motives. Mage talent does not run as strong through the Lirai family as other highborn families. We were too poor for anyone to wish to arrange for a marriage when I was younger. But as masters, we cannot be forced into marriages because it could compromise our standing in society."

  "But you do have mage talent. Surely they saw it as you matured?"

  Nolyn shrugged one shoulder. "By the time anyone started paying serious attention to me, I had attained my mastery." He explained before she asked, "Those who receive their mastery can choose their... mates for themselves."

  Kiya considered. "It is like that for Swordanzen. They are outside of tribal mating customs." She studied him. "But you do have a mate, yes? Or had one, at least?"

  He shook his head. "I have never married nor do I have any children."

  "So, you are untried?" Kiya asked tentatively.

  "No! I am not... I have been with women before," Nolyn blurted out, flustered at the line of discussion.

  Looking horrified, Kiya gasped, "You have mated without any arrangements for the children?!"

  Nolyn groaned, slapping his empty hand over his eyes. "Oh, my gods, Ash, I forgot how literal Desanti are. How do you deal with this?" he lamented in Forentan before switching back to trade common. "I have been lucky. I do not have any children. At least, I am pretty sure, anyway."

  Kiya's expression fell. Covering her mouth, she whispered as she looked away, "Oh, sweet Totani, you do not like children!"

  Suddenly feeling like a heel, Nolyn begged, "Su'alin Kiya, please stop. It is not that I do not like children. I just... do not really like people in general all that much. At least, my people," he qualified when she winced again. He tentatively reached out, touching her chin through the veil with just the tips of his fingers. "Su'alin Kiya, please look at me?"

  After a moment, the young woman did raise her eyes. There were no tears, but that only seemed to make the hurt in their depths that much worse. "If... if it pleases you to be without mate or children, then... then I am happy for you, Edai Magus Nolyn Lirai."

  Sighing heavily, Nolyn shook his head. "It isn't a matter of being pleased, it is just something that never happened. It is nothing important."

  Kiya shook her head, taking his hand in both of hers. "Perhaps it is different here. In my land, it is the duty of all Desanti to bear children to strengthen the tribes and to keep our people alive." She looked down at their hands. "You do not even have a th'yala. It is very sad to me that you have no companion to share your heart with. I could never imagine being so alone."

  Covering her hands with his in a comforting gesture, he asked as gently as he could, "Are you... married?"

  "I am not married any longer, no," Kiya said, not raising her eyes. "The traditions are different for Su'alin and Swordanzen."

  He stroked the back of her hand soothingly. "How so? I never did talk with Skyfire or Storm about that sort of thing."

  "Children must belong to a tribe, else they may be considered Cursed. Swordanzen belong to all tribes and to none. Unless one of the parents does belong a tribe, the child would not be born with the tribal bonds. They would need to be attached to one of their parents' tribes through a formal ritual. For that and many reasons, Swordanzen are not bound by the mating traditions and may choose to breed or not for the duration they carry their swords."

  "Reasons such as?" Nolyn prompted, keeping his voice gentle.

  Kiya hesitated, looking uncertain. "Because Swordanzen must answer all challenges to prove their worth to bear the blade that Names them, whether they are at their peak or hovering on the edge of death. Often, those who are... less honorable may attack a Swordanzen man's woman to draw him out or take advantage of a Swordanzen woman who is heavily pregnant. Away from Desantiva, though, it is safer to take the risk. We doubt the Githalin would have shared that fact with those that could not be trusted." She did not raise her eyes. "But I trust you."

  Nolyn's eyes went wide, his hand going still. "They would attack a woman with child? That is barbaric!"

  "Not everyone would do such a thing. The less honorable, yes. They seek to prove their worth against those who are the best of us and will use any advantage, even if it harms a future child. Though I have heard that Storm il'Thandar has hunted down those who did such things. She is a fierce defender of children. And if she cannot defend them, she avenges them in terrible ways." Kiya shrugged one shoulder. "Facing challenges to our skills is how we ensure that the strongest endure." She started to pull her hand way from his clasp.

  He tightened his hold on her hand, apologetic. "I did not mean to criticize your people. It is a very... foreign concept for me." When she relaxed again, he asked, unable to hide the tenor of concern from his voice, "They do not challenge... Su'alin like they do Swordanzen, do they?"

  Kiya shook her head, heaving a deep sigh. "Su'alin are not forced to leave the tribe as Swordanzen must, but few have the courage to seek Su'alin for mates."

  "So... you are not married by choice?" Nolyn asked, curious despite himself.

  "Not by choice, no," Kiya replied. "Before I was Named Su'alin, I shared a season dance with a warrior from a different tribe. He died in a territorial conflict with another tribe." Before he could ask, she added, "Our child did not live to see his first summer. Now that I am Su'alin, one of the strongest, none are so brave as to have me. They cannot bear to meet my eyes."

  Nolyn winced at the simply spoken words. "Oh, Kiya. I am so sorry," he whispered.

  Kiya looked up at him, tilting her head. "Why are you sorry? My mate died well. The child was just not strong enough in that life. Few Desanti live to see more than thirty summers. But both my mate and our child will be reborn again someday, so I will know them again. If not in this life, than in another."

  "You have a very... unusual view of life," Nolyn said as he let her pull her hands back. He sat back in the chair, studying her.

  "Desantiva is a harsh land. It tests us, demands we be strong. It is as much a part of us, as we are a part of it. To deny that is to deny the Heart of Desantiva, our great father." Shrugging one shoulder, she said, "Do not think I am unfeeling or careless. I am sad they are gone. But death is a part of life. Wishing it were otherwise is futile and clinging to the past is a sure path to madness."

  Nolyn blinked as he heard his personal philosophy in her words. "You do not wish you had more control so you could keep those you loved safe and protected?" he wondered.

  Laughing gently, Kiya shook her head. "If no one died, there would be great suffering because the land could not feed us all. Those who live hard lives would know no rest. Those who suffer would know no peace." She rested her hands in her lap again. "Those who live would know no appreciation for the gift that life is, if there was no risk in losing it."

  "I think your people are very wise, Su'alin Kiya." Nolyn picked up her glass of water and offered it back to her. She smiled as she accepted it back, the two drinking in companionable silence.

  Chapter 38

  As the first glimmer of morning began to warm the sky, Valerian walked through the house. He offered polite greetings to the servants he passed, but puzzled why there was no sign of the Desanti that Josef had reported having come to Forenta. Turning down the master's hall, he spied Kelafy standing at the study door, smiling gently. "Miss Kelafy, I was wondering—"

  She hushed him, gesturing to him to emphasize the imperative to silence. "He is sleeping!" she whispered when he neared. "Finally. Su'alin Kiya is keeping him company."

  Valerian blinked and looked in to see Nolyn soundly and peacefully sleeping, covered with a blanket. His hand rested on
the shoulder of the delicate, dark-skinned woman. Seated on the floor beside him, she returned the Guardian's gaze much as a fearless wild animal might meet the eyes of a villager not normally in the forest.

  "Mother Kelafy, may I have some water, please?" Kiya asked, her quiet voice carrying despite speaking just above a whisper. "I do not wish to awaken him."

  Kelafy blinked and said, "Oh, gracious, where are my manners? Forgive me, Su'alin."

  The Desanti woman smiled in reassurance. "It is no fault of yours, Mother. I would be relieved to know he is finally resting if I worried as long as you have for his welfare." Kelafy chuckled softly, turning down the hall for the kitchen. Kiya's keen tawny eyes turned to Valerian, her smile fading back to the impassive neutrality she had earlier. "Master Nolyn mentioned there was an Unsvet Guardian here."

  Valerian sat in the chair Nolyn had occupied earlier in the evening, nodding to Kelafy as the headwoman brought a tray with a pitcher and two glasses. She poured for them both, taking a sip from Kiya's before handing it to her. Kiya smiled her gratitude, sipping as the older woman left the study to get back to her work. "Please accept my apologies for not being here to meet you. I was visiting with the Se'edai Magus when you arrived."

  Kiya tilted her head in puzzlement. "Why do you apologize? I did not come here to see you. I do not know you."

  Briefly taken aback by the woman's matter-of-fact bluntness, Valerian cleared his throat. "Well, of course not. I have not been to Desantiva for a very long time."

  "No Guardian but the Dusvet Guardian comes to Desantiva. Otherwise, there would be stories of them through the generations so they are not forgotten." She sipped her water, her eyes never leaving him. "You need not remain to protect Master Nolyn. The star-warrior is in no danger from me."

  "Star-warrior?" he echoed, looking at Nolyn in puzzlement, then remembered the scar on the mage's right palm. His puzzlement moved to the rest of her words. "What makes you think I am trying to protect him?"