Utterly Wicked: Curses, Hexes & Other Unsavory Notions

by Dorothy Morrison

  It’s only a matter of common sense. And that’s something we should also use when practicing magic.

  Please understand that I’m not saying that we should never look for a peaceable solution or a solution that is good for everyone concerned. But there comes a time when none of that is going to work. And it’s at that point that we have to decide whether to stand up for ourselves in the magical realm—or whether to just lie down and be beaten to a pulp.

  It’s never an easy decision. But fortunately, there’s help in some simple rules of thumb:

  If you wouldn’t do it on the physical plane, don’t do it in the magical realm. In short, make sure the measure of defense you employ fits the crime.

  If it makes you uncomfortable, don’t do it. Explore your options again, and look for a solution you can live with.

  Be willing to own your actions and accept absolute responsibility for them.

  See? That wasn’t so hard. And once you incorporate those three little items into your life and make them your policy for everyday living, you won’t have anything to worry about—magically, physically, or otherwise.

  FIRE IN THE HOLE

  Magic works. Of that I have no doubt. The same is true of every magical practitioner in the world; otherwise, they wouldn’t even bother with the ancient arts. To do so would be absolutely pointless.

  If that’s so, though, how did anyone ever get the idea that curses only affect those who believe in them, and that those who don’t are able to escape their grasp? Since this idea could’ve been spawned by any number of communications mediums—the internet, television, the movies, or even some misguided author—it’s hard to say. But there are two things I know for sure:

  1) There are folks who actually believe this tripe, and 2) those who do have never been more wrong about anything in their lives.

  Successful magic hinges solely on the belief of those people setting it into motion. If they believe in their abilities to affect the change they want, they can visualize it happening. That ability to watch it unfold in their minds’ eyes gives them the impetus necessary to believe that the desired result will take place. And once that belief is in place, the magic takes flight, soars through the Cosmos, charts a direct path to its target, and—WHAM!—the intended desire manifests on the physical plane and becomes absolute reality. Magic truly is a matter of “…seeing is believing…”

  That said, the end result has nothing at all to do with the recipient’s mindset. It doesn’t matter whether he or she believes in its power. It doesn’t matter whether he or she thinks the whole thing is a load of crap. Once loosed, the magic is going to hit its target. It is going to affect change. And there’s not one damned thing the party on the receiving end can do about it.

  True enough, there’s something to be said for throwing up a shield to deflect the effort. But since I’ve never known a practitioner to give anybody a head’s up that magic is aimed in their direction—something they’d have to know in order to shield—that’s probably a moot point. And if they’re smart enough to have automatic shields in place? Well…the best they can hope for is to revise the effect somewhat and perhaps weaken its impact. Even the best of shields are not going to completely obliterate a spell already in progress. That’s why we call it “magic.”

  This is especially true of curses, hexes, and other unsavory forms of magic. It’s not that their actual ingredients are more powerful, though. It has, instead, to do with the emotion that fuels them: that raw, untamed emotion that goes way beyond peel-me-off-the-ceiling anger and can only be termed as livid pissed. And livid pissed is exactly what we are by the time we get around to even considering such things.

  The old adage of adding fat to the fire doesn’t even begin to cover it when fueling magic with this sort of emotion. In fact, it’s more like adding a hefty dose of jet fuel to a hearth fire. There’s going to be more than a minor flare up. There’s going to be an explosion to end all explosions. And anyone who thinks that a simple shield is going to deflect that sort of energy definitely has another think coming.

  There’s more. Just as any sort of explosion leaves a residue, so does this kind of energy. However, the residue left by a curse or hex is much more difficult to remove than that of its physical counterpart. Undetected, it flies like silt into emotional nooks and crannies, creeps into areas of the subconscious, and just generally messes with the recipient’s mind. This makes the results not only life-changing but long-lasting. And more than likely, that’s the real reason this sort of magic wound up with the reputation for being stronger than any other.

  TO CURSE OR NOT TO CURSE: THAT IS THE QUESTION

  Over the course of your magical practice, this is a question that’s eventually going to pop up. So, maybe some exploration is in order: Just exactly what warrants a curse and what doesn’t?

  The fact that Joe got the job you wanted probably doesn’t warrant anything other than crossing off that place of employment and sending out resumes to the next ten on your list. And if you want to work a little magic to get one of those positions, so be it.

  But what if the situation isn’t that simple? What if the job in question was an inner company promotion, and you happen to know that Joe willfully sabotaged you? Maybe he took credit for some of your work—work that may have either qualified you for the position or caused the department head to take special notice of your application. Perhaps he even lied about you, saying that you were difficult to work with, that you weren’t a team player, or that you had an attitude problem. Is that any reason to curse him?

  Maybe. Maybe not. It just depends on the circumstances. And to come to a rational decision, you’re going to have to look at the whole picture.

  First, review the job description again, and really scrutinize the duties involved. If they’re vague, Joe may have done you a favor, even if unwittingly. It might be that the job in question would take up more time than you’re willing to give; time that would be best enjoyed somewhere else or even spent with your family. It could also be that the extra money involved is not worth what it’s going to take to earn it. And if either is likely, then curses should be the furthest thing from your mind. In fact, you should probably think seriously about sending Joe a congratulatory gift.

  But what if neither of those scenarios is true? What if Joe simply set out to ruin your reputation with the company—a company you’ve given your all to—and is now doing his dead level best to get you fired?

  While none of that is good by any stretch of the imagination, I’m not sure such action truly deserves a curse either. Why? Because you definitely have other options. You could work magic to protect your job. You could work magic to shed light on Joe’s behavior and show him to all concerned for the jackass that he really is. And if you’re suddenly feeling magnanimous—which is doubtful at this point—you could even go so far as to work magic so that Joe finds a position more to his liking outside of the company. Any of those options will take care of the situation nicely—and without the need for a curse.

  But now, let’s change the scenario a bit. Let’s say that you’ve been the victim of Joe’s sexual harassment for a very long time and that the promotion was your ticket out of that mess. Let’s say that when he found out you’d decided to apply for the job, he not only lead you to believe that the problems with him would get much worse than you ever dreamed if you went through with it, but he promised to ruin you with the company. That’s not all. He also promised to personally squelch any chance of your getting alternative employment in the area. You’ve already seen how he works, so there’s no doubt he can make good on all of this.

  Now do you have good reason for a curse? You bet you do.

  Of course, if you’d just turned Joe in to his superiors when he made his first lascivious move—if you’d decided to fight instead of flee back then—he wouldn’t be in any position to bother you. In fact, he probably wouldn’t even still be with the company. You could have avoided this whole mess, you might be sitting pretty
in your new corner office, and there would be no reason for any sort of magic at all.

  While playing the would’ve-should’ve-could’ve game is normally a complete waste of time, it definitely bears some thought here. For one thing, we need to learn from our mistakes. But perhaps more importantly, this sort of self-examination helps us to figure out what else is necessary to keep us from ever having to curse someone again. And it often takes some mighty deep digging to get to the root of the problem and yank it from our lives forever.

  So, why didn’t you report Joe’s inappropriate behavior when he first got out of line? Chances are, you were afraid. But since precisely what you were afraid of holds the key here, that’s what we need examine. Was it that you thought reporting him wouldn’t solve the problem and that his superiors wouldn’t take you seriously? Were you afraid that Joe would twist things around in such a way that you’d lose your job? Or were you simply afraid of that sick feeling that makes your stomach churn every time you’re faced with confrontation?

  Since such is usually the case when folks won’t stand up for themselves, I’m betting on the latter. And for all practical purposes, let’s say I’m right. What you need now—before you even think of performing that curse—is something to keep you from ever being in that position again. You need some gumption. And the best way I know of getting some is to perform the spell below.

  THE GIMME GUMPTION SPELL

  Materials:

  1 reversible candle, black on white (Alternatively, color a white candle completely with a black permanent marker.)

  1 shot glass filled with rum, bourbon, scotch or vodka (Substitute a shot glass of water flavored with rum extract, if you like.)

  Since this is a war of sorts—and Mars energy is essential for any type of successful battle—plan to perform this spell on a Tuesday on either the Full or New Moon. Fill the glass and light the candle, then place the glass directly in front of you. Ground and center in your normal fashion, then say something like:

  Confrontation is not my foe,

  It’s not an opponent; it causes no woe.

  It is my friend now and as such,

  It straightens out the cause of much

  Confused and wrongful accusation,

  Misunderstanding and misinformation.

  It smoothes out wrinkles while it mends

  Relationships that might otherwise end.

  It no longer makes me sick,

  For now I’ve finally learned the trick:

  That anger plays no part; instead,

  Resolution weaves its threads.

  That said, I now infuse with gutsy gumption

  This liquid for my own consumption.

  At this point, think about what gumption and courage means to you, then hold the glass aloft, and blow that thought across the liquid to infuse and charge it. Place the glass in front of the candle and continue, saying something like:

  And before this candle, it is placed,

  So its energies will interlace

  With my infusion to bring it power

  As it burns by minute and by hour,

  To banish worries, woes and fears,

  To banish nervous shakes and tears,

  And brings forth the courage that I need

  To defend myself with grace and speed.

  The gumption asked for now is won,

  As I will, so be it done.

  When the candle extinguishes itself, drink the liquid, feel the courage flow through your body, and make a firm resolve never to be stomped on again.

  DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?

  Curses are not for the namby-pamby. Nor are they for fluffy bunnies or for those who insist that even the worst of horrors happen for a reason. They are for gutsy folks with the courage to do something about their situations when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

  But just the same, curses aren’t to be taken lightly or flung about without due cause and serious thought. They’re not your normal type of magic and certainly not anything that should be performed as readily as a protection spell or a money spell. In fact, there’s good reason that they’re usually at the top of the magical practitioner’s ten-foot-pole list. And contrary to popular belief, taking responsibility for your actions is the least of your worries.

  To start with, cursing someone takes an inordinate amount of energy. Your energy. Energy that you’ve stored for other things, like the simple business of everyday living. And cursing someone effectively is going to wipe out all your reserves. But even if that weren’t the case, it’s important to remember that you’re going to be transferring that energy to the person on the other end of your magic. So, there’s a good chance that you’re inadvertently going to pick up some of that person’s energy along the way too. Do you really want that nasty stuff on you? Probably not.

  Another thing is that the only substance that will fuel a curse properly is anger. Trying to fuel it with love or adding a “for the good of all concerned” codicil simply isn’t going to cut it. In order to even get the spell off the ground, you’re going to have to be so mad that you can’t see straight. So mad that even strangling the person in question with your bare hands wouldn’t be enough to suit you. Yes, you’re going to have to be absolutely, uncontrollably, beyond the shadow of a doubt, livid pissed—more infuriated and enraged than you’ve ever been in your entire life and are ever likely to be again. And you need to know whether you’ve got what it takes to work yourself up into that sort of irrepressible hissy fit. What’s more, though, do you even want to?

  Further, you’re also going to have to believe that you are unquestionably correct in the need to curse someone. Rationalization to suit your own purposes isn’t going to get it. You have to be right. You have to be sure. There isn’t any room for error or an after-the-fact “Oops...I was mistaken” when it comes to curses. The effects can be finite. What’s more, you can’t even begin to second guess yourself. Do you have that sort of resolve?

  If none of this bothers you, and you’re absolutely certain of your position, then a curse is probably the way to go. And if not? Well, it’s best left alone.

  IS IT A HEX—OR IS IT MEMOREX?

  We already know that a good many magical practitioners normally won’t even entertain the idea of hexing someone—not even if they’re scared witless—but there is one thing that will cause them to consider the idea. Simply put, it’s the notion that someone else has had the balls to toss one of those ghastly concoctions in their direction. It’s a simple matter of fighting fire with fire and engaging their opponent in terms they’ll understand. Even so, this conclusion only comes after so many failed attempts to alleviate the problem peaceably that they’re blue in the face from exhaustion.

  If you are one of these people and that’s why you’re reading this book, read on. This section is for you.

  Before you go too far with this, take a good hard look at the facts. Think about why the possibility of a curse didn’t occur to you at the onset of your difficulties. Recount the related problems you’ve experienced to the present, and try to pinpoint the time they began. (It helps to make a list.) Then look for any semblance of reason for their occurrence.

  Once you’ve finished, give some serious thought to what lead you to change your mind and come to the conclusion that a hex had been tossed your way. List the events in chronological order, and again, look for reasonable explanations. Jot down any that pop up.

  So, why am I having you do all this? Because if you can find plausible reasons for any of the personal trials and tribulations connected to the time period, it could be that a curse may not be the culprit at all—or in any event, not one delivered at the hands of someone else. It’s quite possible that you, yourself, are at fault. And if that’s the case, the last thing you want to do is activate a curse.

  Fact of the matter is that we are often our own worst enemies. We constantly set ourselves up for disaster in any number of ways. Sometimes, it’s a matter of giving folks too much personal informati
on. Sometimes, it’s a matter of being ill-prepared or less than diligent about dealing with details. But most of the time it’s a matter of procrastinating or—although it’s true, I really hate to say this—being too lazy to handle our tasks efficiently. We just expect things to handle themselves, and they don’t. But unfortunately, this sort of behavior is a part of the human condition.

  Depression can also play a large role in things going awry in our personal lives. It breeds a moldy sort of negativity that stifles the creative flow. And once that flow ebbs to the point of just barely eking out, the good things in our lives seem to follow suit. That’s when we begin to feel sorry for ourselves and plop right down on the pity pot. It’s not a fun place to sit, but we do it anyway, just watching as the world passes us by, and everything in our lives goes to hell in a hand basket.

  One of the biggest culprits of self-sabotage, however, is confusing entitlement with self-empowerment—and the two aren’t even remotely synonymous. Self-empowerment is finding the motivation to live life on our own terms, acting upon that motivation, and accepting the responsibility for doing so. Entitlement, on the other hand, is to believe that life owes us something and that we can do anything we please without the slightest regard to the consequences. There’s a big difference.

  The problem is that those who have entitlement issues are eventually rudely awakened. And that rude awakening is generally administered on both the mundane and spiritual planes. These folks soon discover that people simply will not put up with their shit. Neither will they put up with the accompanying arrogance nor the complete disregard for how their actions affect the rest of humankind. No one wants to be around them, and they eventually find themselves ostracized to the point of having no moral support system at all.