Utterly Wicked: Curses, Hexes & Other Unsavory Notions

by Dorothy Morrison

  First, we discover that the items on our lists simply aren’t to be had at the local metaphysical shop—at least, not in ready-made form—and even if the store does carry the ingredients for making them ourselves, we don’t know what those might be or how to put them together properly. But we’re magical practitioners, for Gods’ sake; we have a ritual to perform, and we’re not to be deterred. So we take a deep breath, march up to the counter, and ask the clerk for advice. And that’s when the second very important thing grabs our attention: The folks at the shop are just as clueless as we are. Most of them have never even heard of this stuff, much less have any idea where we might find it. And now, number three begins to dawn bright and clear: We suddenly realize that we were very sadly mistaken. The hard part isn’t done at all. In fact, it’s just beginning.

  So, now what? Do we scrap the ritual and that lovely incantation? Do we use the incantation anyway and hope like hell it’s powerful enough to stand on its own? Or do we continue to search for these items until we’re so old and decrepit that we can neither remember why we wanted them in the first place or even cared?

  Absolutely not. Help is on the way—and it’s right here in this chapter.

  True enough, the items often associated with hexing and its antidote tend to have rather odd names—Goofer Dust, Hot Foot Powder, Four Thieves Vinegar, and so on—but the actual ingredients that comprise them aren’t strange at all. In fact, I’m willing to bet that you’ve got most of what you need already, right there in your kitchen cabinets. It’s usually just a matter of having the recipes at hand and knowing what to do with the finished product, both of which I’ve included here.

  Occasionally though, there will be that ingredient or two that not only seems to be essential to the concoction at hand but completely evades all attempts at reasonable capture. So, I’ve done my best to rectify that problem as well by playing with the recipes until I found fairly easy-to-obtain substitutions that didn’t hamper strength or effectiveness.

  And then I went one step further. I included a list of stores in the appendix that not only carry the ingredients you can’t find at your local supermarket but count mail order as part of their business. And upon request, one of the store owners—Mimi at Esoterica Occult Goods in New Orleans—will even go as far as to prepare the mixtures for you and have them delivered right to your door. All you have to do is give her the list.

  AS THE CAULDRON BUBBLES...

  With the major problems solved, let’s talk a little bit about the recipes. The first thing you’ll probably notice is that the proportions aren’t listed in most of them. But there’s good reason for that. It simply means that unless otherwise noted, you should start out with equal portions of each ingredient. And since you’re not likely to be mixing up large amounts of any one substance—at least not right away—I suggest you begin with a teaspoon of each. Then later, if you discover that you’re using more of a particular product, you can always increase the amounts and make a larger batch.

  It’s also important to mention that unless noted otherwise, all of the recipes that follow are versatile as far as form. This means that the ingredients in an incense recipe can also be blended as an oil, a powder recipe can be used to mix a wash, and so forth. (The only exceptions are Eviction Notice Powder and Swamp Water.) There are, however, a few tricks I’ve picked up over the years when it comes to working with particular supply forms. And to save you time and trouble, I’ve included them below.

  PREPARATION TIPS

  Incense Tips:

  If you don’t plan to burn the incense on charcoal, you’ll have to add an incense base to your recipe. While some stores carry incense base and have it available for purchase, I’ve also discovered that sawdust works well, as do small twigs pulverized in a coffee grinder. A pinch of saltpeter will also do the trick. But if you go that route, be absolutely certain to only use a pinch. Otherwise, your ritual may have to be amended to include an evocation to the local fire department!

  Just an aside: While the incense you’ve just mixed may smell heavenly, know that it doesn’t always smell as good when burning. In fact, some of these recipes may not smell good at all. And if that’s the case, just remember that you’re using it for a HIP—a hex in progress—and nothing about a hex is lovely except the end result: that point where your foe stops screwing with you!

  If you’re using a coffee grinder and you’re preparing several different mixtures, it’s important to clean the grinder between uses. Start by scrubbing it with a brush and a 50:50 mixture of rubbing alcohol and water—this will break down any resin residue—then follow with hot, soapy water, and finish with a boiling water rinse.

  Oil Tips:

  Always try to find your ingredient list already in oil form. Then using an eyedropper and a clean bottle, blend two drops of each oil together at a time. Increase by one drop each until you have enough of the finished product to do the current job. In this way, you’ll keep the original oils intact and have them on hand for other uses.

  If you must use dry ingredients for oil-making, use a base oil that doesn’t turn rancid. (Grape seed or jojoba oils are good choices.) Place the dry ingredients in an electric potpourri pot, and mash them up with a fork to bruise them. Pour in just enough oil to cover, then turn on the pot. Heat for twelve hours, stirring every two to three hours, adding a bit more oil if necessary. Strain, bottle and use. (Please note that while the oil may not have much fragrance at this point, the aroma—or lack thereof—has no bearing on magical potency.)

  While it’s certainly okay to reuse bottles, be absolutely sure they’re clean before using them to blend anything else. (The last thing you want is for the residue of an opposing concoction mixed with the new blend.) Wash them in hot, soapy water to which you’ve added a little bleach, then scrub the insides thoroughly with a small bottle brush. Scald them with boiling water after, or put them in the dishwasher for a full cycle.

  Powder Tips:

  When preparing a powder, you’ll want to grind the ingredients as finely as possible. While you can accomplish this with a mortar and pestle, I’ve found that it’s much easier to toss the ingredients into a coffee grinder, set it to “fine” and hit the button. (You may have to do this two or three times.)

  To give this mixture a powder-like consistency, stir in a teaspoon or two of cornstarch before using.

  Clean the coffee grinder between uses following the directions outlined previously for Incense Tips.

  Wash Tips:

  There’s nothing like an automatic drip coffeemaker when it comes to brewing washes. Just put a filter in the filter cup, add the ingredients, fill and brew. Then add the mixture to a gallon of water. (NOTE: Since some of your ingredients may be poisonous, do NOT use your regular coffeemaker for this purpose. Obtain an inexpensive one—thrift stores and yard sales are good starting points—and use it instead.)

  Before you brew again, clean both the filter cup and pot thoroughly, following the directions above for Oil Tips.

  WHAT FORM TO FIX TO AID THE TRICKS

  Before we get to the recipes, it’s important to decide what form of the product actually suits your needs best. If your curse actually involves paying a visit to the target’s home for example, then a powder or wash may be just the thing. But if it doesn’t, an oil or incense may be more appropriate. It all depends on the curse at hand and how you plan to deliver it.

  Deliver it?

  You hadn’t thought about that, had you?

  If your answer is no, don’t feel badly. While curse writing and planning generally comes easily once folks decide to take that route, it’s common for the actual delivery plan to completely slip the mind. That’s because we just expect the curse to spring from the altar and deliver itself, and that’s not always the case.

  Chances are, of course, that you’d rather your subject be oblivious to the fact that you cursed them. And the last thing you want is to be caught at it. Which is exactly what could happen if you’re ballsy enough to run over
to their house in the middle of the night, armed with washes or powders or something to bury on their property. Even worse, you might be arrested for trespassing. And since spending the night in the pokey certainly wouldn’t play well into your plans, that’s something you’d do well to steer clear of.

  This doesn’t mean that you can’t engineer your curse to deliver itself. Neither does it mean that powders and washes may not be appropriate to your purpose. It simply means that you may have to rework things a bit and take some extra precautions. But if you’ve already gone to all the trouble of working out the curse at hand, thinking it through again is certainly worth the effort. Especially if it guarantees your success.

  That said, the various forms that the recipes can take, as well as the different ways they can be used, are listed below for your convenience. Please note that some of them also list certain precautions. And if you don’t want to deal with unsavory residue later, you’d do well to heed them.

  Speaking of precautions, there’s one other thing that bears mention before we begin. Regardless of the form you decide upon, one thing holds true for all: Clearly visualize your target during preparation, then dispose of any leftovers once the cursing ritual is complete. (Do NOT use on any other subject!) By doing this, you’ll safeguard others from harm should they accidentally touch the substance.

  INCENSE

  Burn during cursing ritual.

  Use to smudge the poppet.

  Place inside body cavities of poppet.

  Add to gris gris bags (mojo or charm bags) to strengthen the properties of the other contents. The bag is then hidden on the target’s property. Usually, it’s buried. But if a co-worker is the target, hiding it in their desk drawer or behind their desk is also an option.

  Precautions:

  After use, clean the coffee grinder as previously directed in the Incense Tips section.

  Cleanse your ritual area by smudging it with Uncrossing Incense. (See recipe later in this chapter.)

  OILS

  Use to anoint the candle used in cursing ritual.

  Anoint the poppet; or moisten cotton with a few drops, and place inside the appropriate body cavity.

  Rub on your hands, and touch the target to imbue him or her with its properties. (Once this is accomplished, clean your hands thoroughly with rubbing alcohol—alcohol wipes are great for this—and wash your hands with plenty of soap and hot water.)

  Use to anoint a letter or package that you send to the target.

  Give to the target as a present, and get the subject to use it on themselves. (This can be a bit tricky, but telling them that it’s a “power oil” works occasionally.)

  Precautions:

  Cover work area completely with several layers of newspaper, and remove them from your home immediately when work is finished. Alternatively, burn them and dispose of the ashes.

  Dispose of any leftovers outside the home.

  Clean your hands thoroughly. (See previous for instructions.)

  POWDERS

  Sprinkle across the threshold, porch, or sidewalk of the target’s home—or any other place else that he or she might cross on foot.

  Blow into the target’s face. (This really isn’t a good idea and is only mentioned here for purposes of historical use.)

  Sprinkle in the target’s mailbox to bring bills and legal notices and to keep checks from being delivered. (After the anthrax scares, you may want to be careful with this one too.)

  Sprinkle into your co-worker’s desk drawer, around his or her chair, and/or around work area.

  Apply to the poppet using a clean paintbrush, or sprinkle into the body cavities. Either discard the paintbrush after use, or clean it thoroughly. (The dishwasher is a good option.)

  Precautions:

  Cover work area completely with several layers of newspaper, and remove them from your home immediately when work is finished. Alternatively, burn them and dispose of the ashes.

  Wear surgical gloves during use, and dispose of them immediately. If household gloves are worn instead, soak them after use in hot bleach water, then place them on the top rack of the dishwasher or in the washing machine for final cleaning.

  Flush any leftovers down the toilet or garbage disposal. Follow with plenty of water and the juice of one lemon, then flush with water again.

  Pour three tablespoons of salt and the juice of one lemon into a clean spray bottle, then fill it with water and shake well. Use this mixture to clean your work surface, then follow with your favorite household cleaner. (This mixture may be saved for future use.)

  WASHES

  Spray on front door, porch, sidewalk or any other place the subject might walk. Also may be sprayed into the target’s footprint.

  Use to wash the walls, floors, and fixtures of the target’s home. While this may seem to be a moot point—just how in the hell are you going to accomplish this?!—it may not be as farfetched as it seems. Depending upon who the target is (a relative, a former friend, an acquaintance, etc.), you may be able to offer cleaning services for a day.

  If the target is a co-worker, spray his or her work area or cubicle. Just spraying it as “air freshener” there will do the trick too.

  Apply to the poppet using a clean paintbrush, or add a few drops to cotton and stuff into the body cavities. (If a paintbrush is used, see previous instructions for Powders.)

  Spray on a gris gris bag to seal it with the curse.

  In the case of Swamp Water, use as a poppet disposal tool.

  Precautions:

  (See precautions for Powders.)

  THE RECIPES

  Little aggravates me more than not being able to find what I need when I need it. And this is especially true of magical formulae. (What’s worse, after all, than being right in the middle of a magical operation and having to stop mid-stream to chase down that elusive incense recipe?) To that end, this section is organized in alphabetical order for easy use and look-up. But that’s not all. You’ll find every formula mentioned in this book—regardless of magical flavor—included here as well. It’s one-stop brewing at its best.

  Activation Incense

  Use this incense in rituals to activate a poppet. It’s also a good choice for rituals that initiate any sort of hex.

  Ginger

  Nutmeg

  Black Pepper

  Bitch Be Gone Powder (Lady Dame’s Formula)

  According to Lady Dame, all you have to do is sprinkle a bit of this powder in the path of someone you detest, and “the bitch will be gone!”

  Rattlesnake Bones, crushed (powdered snake shed may be substituted)

  High John the Conqueror Root

  Chango Oil

  Dedicated to Chango, this oil is used by men to draw romantic partners of the female persuasion. When wearing this oil, just a dab will do it, guys!

  2 Apple Seeds

  Cinnamon

  Coconut

  Frankincense

  Musk

  Commanding/Controlling/Compelling Powder

  Excellent for use in assuring that court cases swing your way. For extra oomph, add a bit of High John the Conqueror to the mix.

  Allspice

  Cinnamon

  Clove

  Patchouli

  Sandalwood

  Crossing Oil

  (Sometimes known as Black Arts)

  Often used to dress candles used in hexes, as well as to anoint poppets and gris gris bags.

  Cinnamon

  Graveyard Dirt (pinch)

  Myrrh

  Patchouli

  Vetivert

  Sage

  Crossing Oil #2

  It’s said that this oil is so powerful that you should never mix or apply it unless you truly mean business and that it should only be used in curses involving the nastiest of the nasty.

  Bayberry

  Cinnamon

  Myrrh

  Devil Be Gone Powder

  Used to break strong curses and hexes, this powder is usually sprinkled on the target as
well as around the room and over the altar. Some folks say that “interesting” things happen when this formula is burned as an incense, but I’ve never found that to be true.

  Bay Leaf

  High John the Conqueror

  Hyssop

  Lavender

  Salt

  Vervain

  Eviction Notice Powder

  This is indispensable when it comes to removing nasty spirits from the home. To seal the home against their return, add a tablespoon to your cleaning water, and use it to scrub floors and baseboards. (Do NOT use as incense!!)

  Asafoetida

  Gun Powder

  Fiery Wall of Protection Incense

  This is an excellent formula for clearing negative energy from the home. It’s important to note though, that since this incense is largely made of resins, it produces large amounts of smoke.

  Dragon’s Blood

  Frankincense

  Myrrh

  Salt

  Four Thieves Vinegar

  While this mixture has many purposes including some that involve good luck, it’s often added to other items related to hexes and is said to keep enemies far from your door.

  Adam and Eve Root

  Black Pepper