Whatever It Takes
Page 19
Ben nodded. “This whole thing hinges on whether Diego agrees to meet in the courtyard. Seems like a reckless move on his part. What if he refuses?”
“That’s where Ty, Nate, and I come in. Walker also located a cave, several hundred yards from the house, which conceals a tunnel leading directly to the basement of Diego’s hacienda. It appears abandoned and unguarded. Of course, that could change at a moment’s notice.”
Alex glanced at Walker. Trust him to be the first to forge a way into the enemy’s lair. Some of the men said he’d been a ghost in his Special Forces unit. The one who went unseen into the most dangerous situations to gather intelligence. Perhaps they were right.
“Don’t forget the package we’re after is a five-year-old kid. He was kidnapped by an FBI agent who his mother worked for—someone who should have protected him. He’ll be scared, and he won’t know that we’re any more trustworthy than Diego. Go easy. Questions?” Joe’s gaze swept the crowd.
“Does Marco’s mother know we’ve located him?” Rayna asked the question that Alex had been pondering.
“Maria is aware of the situation, and it wasn’t easy getting her to stay home and wait to hear from me. I’ve promised to call her the minute we free Marco. As soon as we have the boy and I can make arrangements to meet her, someone will be taking a trip to Alaska. If anyone is interested in volunteering, talk to me later.
“Study the map before you take off. It gives the general layout of the hacienda, the courtyard, the gate, the basement, the cave, and the rock formations to the east.” Joe tapped the map at each location. “There’s also a blueprint of the hacienda. Familiarize yourselves. As you all know, the best plans don’t always play out, so if you see something that needs to be done—do it. I trust your judgment. Any questions?” Joe’s gaze swept the room. “Okay, we’ll roll at fifteen hundred. Kitchen is open. Get something to eat.” His gaze narrowed as he looked in her direction. “Alex, stick around a minute.”
“Take it like a man, sweetheart.” Jimmy grinned and nudged her arm as he stood to leave.
She would normally have flipped him off, but she caught Nate’s stare as he walked by and recoiled from the heat it contained.
When everyone else had gone, Joe dropped into the chair Jimmy had vacated. “I thought I told you to fix it between you and Nate.”
She heaved a sigh. “I did fix it. Then it got unfixed.”
“Well, you’ve got about three hours to fix it again.” Joe turned toward her and the set of his jaw told her he was absolutely serious.
Alex squirmed in her seat. “I can’t.”
“Yes you can, and you will. This team isn’t just a group of people. We’re all linked together for a common purpose. That means every one of us has a job to do, and how well we do our jobs affects everyone else on the team. You and Nate have worked closely for the last two days. Whatever is going on between the two of you is affecting you both emotionally. Nate can bow out if he wants to, but if he does, you’re out too. I can’t take a chance on you not having your head in the game.”
Alex shot from her chair and paced back and forth in front of him. The team was her reason for living. She couldn’t lose that. Should she tell him? Joe had been like a brother to her since he rescued her from that prison. She’d told him much worse things.
Stopping, she shoved her hands on her hips. “He said he . . . loved me.”
His gaze flew to hers and then he threw back his head and laughed. “Wait.” Another chuckle escaped. “All the bad vibes I’m getting from the two of you is because he loves you? What did you say to him?”
“I didn’t say anything.” Alex groaned, anticipating his reaction.
“Typically, a response of some sort is required in that situation. Maybe that’s why he’s bent out of shape.” Joe’s lips quivered.
Alex stomped a few feet away. “You don’t understand. He doesn’t know he said it.” Good Lord. It sounded so friggin’ stupid out loud.
“Huh? I’m afraid you’re going to have to explain that one.”
She turned back to face him. “He was half asleep. He doesn’t know what he said, or at least I don’t think he does.”
Joe reached for her hand and dragged her into the chair, then slid his arm over her shoulders. “Okay. If he hasn’t said it again when he’s awake, maybe he was just talking in his sleep, but even if he meant it, what’s so bad about that, Alex? Do you like him?”
She looked away, frightened by the answer forming in her mind. “I care about him—enough to make sure he doesn’t get stuck with someone like me.”
Joe tensed and removed his arm from her shoulders. He stood, paced back and forth a half dozen times, and then knelt in front of her. “I see what’s happening here. We’ve talked about this, Alex. You know I worry about you, but you also know I wouldn’t put you on the team unless I was confident you could handle anything that comes your way. Yeah, there was a time when I thought you’d never make it this far, but you’ve proved me wrong, and I’m proud of you. Cara and I love you, and part of me is always going to think you need protecting, so learn to deal with that.
“But you need to start thinking about what you want—what will make you happy—because you’re not that scared, nearly wild kid I found in that brothel anymore. You’ve grown up . . . you’ve healed in a lot of ways . . . and with that comes responsibilities, relationships, maybe even love. I like Nate, but I’m not telling you how you should feel about him. If he’s not the one, kick his ass out. But if he is, don’t throw it away, Alex.”
She leaned forward, looped her arms around his neck, and hid her face against his shoulder. “I bet you’re a great dad.”
Joe laughed and got to his feet, drawing her up with him. “I try pretty hard. Luckily, I have Cara to cover for my screw-ups.”
Alex leaned back and looked at him. “I don’t believe that for a minute.” She kissed his cheek.
A thin smile flexed a muscle in his jaw. “You got this?”
“I’ll be fine.” She straightened her shoulders as though that proved it.
“Any chance you could at least make friendly with Nate before the show starts?”
She studied him pensively. Joe didn’t ask her for much, and when he did, it was usually for her own good. She nodded her head. “No promises, but I’ll see what I can do.”
“That’s all I ask,” he said, stepping away from her. He picked up a couple of loose papers from the table, winked at her, and strode from the courtyard.
Alex smiled at his retreating figure. She used to butt heads with Joe all the time—he was always telling her what she could and couldn’t do—and he hadn’t changed a bit. But she had. It choked her up to realize how much she loved him.
She did love Joe and it hadn’t driven him away, or gotten him hurt, or made him disappointed in her. Was it possible she could have a relationship with Nate that didn’t include any of those things either?
Alex squinted at the brilliantly blue sky overhead, drew in a breath of warm, dry air, and turned to go. Nate grabbed her wrist the instant she walked through the arched doorway.
“We need to talk, Alex. Don’t argue.” He shot her a warning glance, then dragged her up the grand staircase and halfway down the long corridor before he chose a room, opened the door, and pulled her inside.
Well, shoot! So far, so good. An audience with Nate had been easier to arrange than she’d expected.
Chapter 13
NATE HAD QUITE likely lost his friggin’ mind. Hadn’t she warned him about manhandling her? Shit! She was going to rip him a new one when he let go of her wrist.
So be it. He would have this conversation with her even if it was the last time he ever saw her. Releasing her hand as soon as he pulled her across the threshold into one of the hacienda’s numerous guest rooms, he strode to the middle of the room, where the sunlight from the open
veranda pooled on the floor. Aromas from someone cooking on the level below floated through the opening and reminded him how empty his stomach was. When he turned to face Alex, he half expected her to already be out the door and gone.
She closed the door quietly behind her, leaned against it, and crossed her arms. Her gold-flecked eyes seemed to stare deep into his soul and ferret out the secrets buried there, yet left him in the dark concerning her thoughts. Nate couldn’t tell if she was sad, pissed off, or just plain checked out for the duration.
He ducked his head, whipped his hat off, and tossed it on the king-sized bed behind him. A rectangular mahogany bench sat at the foot, and Nate motioned toward it. “Can we sit, Alex?”
“I won’t be here that long.” She shook her head, tapping her wristwatch. “Five minutes.”
Less than half the time Batista got from her. He should have suspected as much. Nate turned quickly away to hide the smile that rose unbidden. This was the Alex he was used to, and he could deal with her. The tough girl with the smart mouth and who needed to have the last word was preferable to the woman who didn’t trust him and hated his guts.
He crossed to the bench and sat, bracing his arms on the edge next to his knees. The twenty feet that separated them seemed a huge span. He longed to pull her against him, feel her softness molded perfectly to his body. Hard to believe it was only last night they’d gone to sleep in each other’s arms, sated with lovemaking. Now her body language warned him to keep his distance.
He intended to do just that until they fixed whatever rift was between them, but in order to accomplish that, he had to know what had caused her to close up emotionally and do a one-eighty on him. He’d tried all morning to convince himself to let her go, but so far, his wounded heart wasn’t taking no for an answer. She owed him an explanation at least, and he had a thing or two to say.
Nate swiped his hands over his whiskered face. “Don’t shut me out, Alex. What’s wrong? I thought we connected. Was it just me?”
Confusion swirled in her eyes and she looked away long enough to perfect the mask again. When her gaze came back to him, it was heavy with regret. “You know this can’t go anywhere, right?”
Why the hell not? He stopped short of saying it out loud. They had good reasons why their lives wouldn’t mesh easily. He was a cop. She worked for a mercenary and had a predilection for using a dagger with violent intent. They lived hundreds of miles apart. Didn’t people overcome obstacles like that all the time? There had to be a way if they wanted it bad enough.
Maybe that was part of the problem—she didn’t want it bad enough. He would have to be very careful or she’d pack her emotional baggage and he’d never see her again. She didn’t like to be pushed on a good day, but if he could get her talking . . .
He drew a deep breath to settle his fragmented thoughts. Rising to his feet, he strolled toward her. “For the sake of argument, let’s say you’re right. This doesn’t have to go anywhere right away. I’m enjoying the hell out of spending time with you—getting to know you. I think we’re great together. I’m not trying to put you in a corner, and you don’t need to make me promises you can’t keep. Do one thing for me, though. Be honest. Aren’t you having fun with me? Wouldn’t your life be a tiny bit lonely if I wasn’t around anymore?” He stopped directly in front of her. “Is this really the way you want it to end, Alex?”
She uncrossed her arms and fidgeted with her hands until she let them fall to her hips. Accusation mixed with distrust in her wide, expressive eyes and cut him to the bone.
“Yeah, we had some fun, but please don’t make this out to be more than it is. People like us don’t make plans. Everything ends, Nate. Our time is over, and it would have ended even if you hadn’t said—” She bit down on her bottom lip and jerked her gaze from his.
He cocked his head and reached for her hand as she backed away a step. “Even if I hadn’t said . . . what?”
She tugged on her hand. “Let go, Nate. I don’t want to hurt you.” Her voice held a warning note as her eyes narrowed.
He muffled a snort, and then eyed her speculatively. Did she mean that literally? Surely she wouldn’t pull a weapon on him. “Are you threatening me, Alex?” Stepping into her, he pushed her up against the door. “Not really a good idea to telegraph your intentions like that, darlin’.” He corralled her other hand just in case she was thinking of going for her dagger.
Anger and frustration clouded her face. “Let me go.” She shoved against him to no avail.
“Hey, I’m merely defending myself.” His grin got away from him, and he tried to rein it in, sure it would only make her angrier. The sheen of moisture in her distressed eyes got his attention, though, and he was all done. He wouldn’t add to her pain—not on purpose.
He released her hands and stepped away, shoving his in his pockets, his answer to the aching need to hold her. Hunching his shoulders against the bad taste that giving up left in his mouth, he reached for the doorknob.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I’d hoped we could talk, but I guess you’re not ready.”
She still blocked the exit and when he glanced her way questioningly, the barest hint of a smile trembled on her lips.
She dropped her gaze to the floor. “Do you know you talk in your sleep?” Her voice cracked and she coughed.
“It may have been mentioned a time or two. Why?” Didn’t everyone? Where was she going with this?
Alex rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh. “You were probably dreaming. I’m sure you didn’t mean anything . . . but it . . . surprised me.” She placed her delicate hands over her face, but not before he caught the flush of crimson that rushed to her cheeks.
Nate stepped closer, pulled her hands away, and placed them, palms down, against his chest. He was having a hard time being serious about something mentioned in his sleep, but she was obviously highly agitated by whatever had happened. Maybe he’d inadvertently brought back memories of her past. “You barely listen to me when I’m awake—yet you let something I said in my sleep get you all worked up? This I’ve got to hear.” He stroked his thumbs over her fingers and bent to catch her gaze.
It was clear she was reluctant to talk about it, but he couldn’t banish her fears until he knew what it was that had frightened her. Whatever he’d said in his sleep had apparently changed everything in her mind. Did he threaten her? Talk about Val? What could have been so bad? The faintest of memories niggled at his brain, and he frowned.
She took a deep breath and fixed cautious eyes on his. “You said you loved me.”
He had to lean close to hear her whisper. The instant her words registered, the faint memory roared into brilliant clarity. A dozen thoughts swirled in his head, starting with—how could he not have remembered? He’d said those words, and he’d been very sure he meant them at the time. Evidently, Alex hadn’t been ready to hear them, and had reacted by getting as far away from him as possible, physically and emotionally. Then he’d compounded the problem by falling back asleep without clearing the air, relegating the memory to his dreams.
Okay—so he’d fallen for her. He’d jumped the gun by putting it into words so early in their relationship, but the truth still remained. He sensed the thin ice he skated on. She was obviously ready to bolt—probably already would have if not for Marco and the mission. Nate could tell her he didn’t remember saying the words . . . that love was the last thing he was looking for. His gut twisted painfully at the prospect of lying to her. Nope—not an option.
The truth would no doubt make it worse . . . if that was even possible. Yet her beautiful face, surprisingly innocent and trusting, turned up to him awaiting his explanation. And she would have it, whatever the cost.
He leaned in and kissed her partially open lips, a gentle brush with no expectations. After he pulled away and released her hands, she continued to lean against his chest until he took a step back.
“I remember . . . I mean I didn’t until just now . . . but now I do.” He jammed a hand through his hair. “Shit! I’m rambling.”
He must have looked especially pathetic because a truncated giggle fell from her lips before she covered her mouth and averted her eyes.
He backed away another step. “I’m not going to tell you it didn’t mean anything. I said it, and I meant it. I’m in love with you, Alex.” Nate practically flinched at her frowning disbelief. He was walking a fine line and chances were good he’d lose her either way. If she believed him but wanted no part of him, it might convince her to run farther and faster. If she thought he was lying for some reason, she’d probably kick his ass and ask questions later. It was too much to hope she felt anything for him. Aw . . . hell. There was no way this would have a happy ending.
Alex threw her hands in the air. “Why did you have to ruin it?”
“Nothing’s ruined. You and I are both the same people we were yesterday. Better . . . stronger.”
“No, you’re wrong. We’re not the same at all. Now there are expectations, hopes and fears of falling short. What if I’m not good enough? What if I can’t do this?”
For a moment, Nate thought she would run. Instead, she stepped into him, sliding her arms around his waist, and a racking sob escaped her.
He pulled her tightly against him, wrapping his arms around her. “Don’t cry, darlin’. I promise nothing is different. I can’t unsay what I said, and I wouldn’t want to, but I don’t expect you to do anything different for me. If you’ll just let me spend time with you, I’ll be a happy man.”
Her crying quieted as he spoke, but the wetness of her tears soaking through the front of his shirt attested to her misery. Nate hated that he was the cause.