Chasing Destiny

by Nikki Rittenberry

  Jacob hung up with Tanner and began pacing the floor in his small apartment. He thought about the last night he’d spent with Cassie. Something had been clearly troubling her that evening. She’d known about her acceptance then and had kept that vital piece of information to herself.

  Why? His initial anger soon turned into frustration and finally… to guilt. How could he have been so selfish, he wondered? He’d spent the last eighteen months micro-managing every aspect of their lives, precisely calculating his own success while essentially asking Cassie to surrender hers. He thought about calling her, but what would that accomplish? She would apologize for keeping it from him and in the same breath declare she had no regrets about turning down her position.

  No—he couldn’t call her.

  Jacob advanced toward his suitcase and retrieved the little black box that housed Cassie’s engagement ring. He sat back down and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees and opened it. He gazed at the ring for a moment and took it out of the box. Holding it with his two fingers, he rotated his wrist; carefully inspecting it as he had done so earlier in the day at the jewelry store. After a few moments he placed the ring back in the box and leaned his back against the couch. He closed his eyes, searching his exhausted mind for the best solution to their scenario. He needed to find one quickly; he was scheduled to fly to New Orleans the following morning.

  * * *

  It was half past four, Wednesday morning. Jacob awoke on the couch in the clothes he had been wearing the evening before. He ran his hands through his thick, dark hair and glanced at the black ring box sitting on the coffee table. His mind was made up and now there was no turning back.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The day had finally come and Cassie couldn’t conceal her excitement. She was relieved that their separation would soon be ending and was eager to spend the next few days reconnecting with Jacob. She stood up and journeyed to the monitors which displayed incoming flight information. She found his flight number and noted it was on time; just a few more minutes until its scheduled landing. She traveled as far as security would allow her and patiently waited for his arrival.

  She lingered calmly for close to twenty-five minutes and there was still no sign of Jacob. What’s taking him so long? The suspense is killing me!

  She returned to the monitors and once again found his flight. The data indicated that his plane had indeed landed. She traveled back to the reception area in front of the metal detectors and watched as dozens of people scurried by, reuniting with their loved ones with arms wide open.

  The airport was exceedingly overcrowded, but she hadn’t overlooked him, had she? Moments later she decided to search for him near baggage claim; just in case he slipped by without her knowing it, but unfortunately he wasn’t there either. Cassie retrieved her phone from her purse, dialed his number and after several rings, she was prompted to leave a message.

  “Where are you? I’ve been waiting at the airport for almost an hour now… This just doesn’t make any sense! Call me back as soon as you get this message, Jake.”

  After her attempts to reach him failed, worry began to consume her. He couldn’t have boarded an airplane and then spontaneously vanish mid-flight. She hadn’t spoken to Jacob in a couple of days, but she knew he wouldn’t have forgotten his plans; today was important to both of them. Was it possible he’d overslept and missed his flight?

  Cassie approached the ticket counter and asked the gentleman if there was any way he could search their records to see if a passenger had boarded a flight.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am”, he explained. “Releasing that information is against airline policy.”

  After several minutes of pleading with the ticket counter representative, desperately trying to find some answers, worry and frustration consumed her and Cassie began to cry. “I’m not asking for his social security number or his credit card information. I just need to know if he was on that flight. Please, that’s all I need to know!”

  The gentlemen sympathized with her story and against his better judgment decided to bend the rules—just this once—to help her find her loved one. After pounding away at the speed of light on his computer, he explained there was no record of Jacob Nelson checking-in or boarding any flight from New York. Cassie asked if he could do one more favor for her by searching the database to see if Jacob had made arrangements for a later flight. After a few moments the gentleman indicated no such arrangements had yet been made. Cassie thanked him for his help and slowly walked away.

  She tried calling Jacob again, but was unsuccessful. She left another voice message and then finally headed back to the parking garage.

  * * *

  Jacob stood with both hands in his pockets staring down at the street below from his apartment window. He’d already received at least a dozen calls from Cassie, each message sounding a little more desperate than the one before. She was unmistakably concerned; it was extremely uncharacteristic of him to abandon her like he had. He knew he was going to break her heart by walking away from their relationship, but for once in his life, he decided he was not going to be selfish. He wanted nothing more than to ask Cassie to marry him, but how could he live with himself knowing she’d turned down a once in a lifetime opportunity to work alongside some of the best therapists in the country? He felt the only way she would accept the offer in Denver was if he was out of the picture. After all, he was the only reason she was willing to move to New York City in the first place.

  After receiving dozens of frantic messages, Jacob recognized that he couldn’t ignore her calls forever. At some point, he was going to have to respond. Fearing he would be unable to find the strength and the words to break off the relationship, he took the coward way out. He picked up his phone and began to text Cassie. He then turned off his phone, grabbed his coat and headed downstairs to catch a train. He didn’t quite know where he was going, but anywhere was better than being at home.

  * * *

  Cassie arrived back at her apartment shortly before noon. Upon entering she immediately checked her answering machine, but there were no messages from Jacob. This was so bizarre! She sat down on the couch and dialed Emily’s phone number, hoping that she would be able to shed some light on the situation, but before she was able to press the send button, her cell phone chimed indicating that she had an incoming text: It was from Jacob!

  I’m not coming. It’s over. I’m so sorry.

  Heartbroken, Cassie stared at the text message in disbelief. This made absolutely no sense at all! She recalled her last conversation with Jacob two days earlier; everything seemed to be perfect. He was reveling in the success of his presentation and even spoke about hiring a realtor to assist them in locating a more spacious apartment. Cassie wanted some answers! What kind of person breaks up with their partner by sending a three sentence text message? That was something you would expect from a seventh grader, not a twenty-five year old man!

  She tried to get in touch with Jacob, but once again her call went unanswered. It was clear he had no intention at all of taking her calls. Cassie dashed into her bedroom and grabbed her laptop. She quickly transferred some money from her savings account into her checking, and then purchased an exceedingly overpriced roundtrip airline ticket to New York City. Without delay, she haphazardly threw some of her clothes and other belongings into a small suitcase and headed back to the airport. If Jacob wasn’t going to return her phone calls then he would have to give his explanation in person.

  * * *

  Cassie arrived at the airport in New York shortly after sundown. She ever so swiftly fetched her luggage from the conveyer system at baggage claim and hustled outside to find a ride. She hailed a taxi and gave the cab driver the address to Jacob’s apartment. Traffic was horrendous; everyone appeared to be making a last minute effort to get to their destination before Thanksgiving the following day. She was anxious to get to his place—anxious to get some answers. Aside from the traffic, it seemed as though it was taking an unusually
long time to get there and she wondered how many tourists were ripped off regularly by taxi drivers taking a longer route than necessary. Because her surroundings were alien to her, she had to trust that the stranger currently chauffeuring her to her destination was honest. A few minutes later she began to recognize familiar landmarks and the vehicle came to a halt in front of the old neighborhood store below Jacob’s apartment.

  The cab driver got out of the car and opened the trunk to retrieve her luggage. She reached into her wallet and handed the driver two crisp twenty dollar bills and asked if he had any change. The driver glared back with a blank expression on his face as if he didn’t understand what she was asking of him. After gesturing for a few moments to illustrate what she meant, she reached back into her purse and rummaged around for a smaller bill. Realizing she was wasting valuable time she finally conceded and told the taxi driver she no longer needed any change. He bowed his head and thanked her in a thick, foreign accent and then drove away.

  Cassie rushed to the apartment building door and gave it a firm tug; it was locked. “Damn it”, she mumbled softly. She finally acknowledged to herself for the first time since she came up with the demented idea of flying to New York, that she hadn’t taken the opportunity to thoroughly think everything through. She sat down on her suitcase and wrapped herself tightly in her coat, contemplating her next move. She watched person after person stroll by and thought to herself how silly she must look to them; all alone on a bitter night with nothing but the clothes on her back and a small, ragged suitcase that probably should have been retired several trips ago.

  It was beginning to get late and she questioned what she would do if she wasn’t able to locate him. She reached into her coat pocket and retrieved her cell phone. She tried calling him and unfortunately, was once again greeted by his voicemail. She had all but given up hope when just then, the main apartment door swung open and a young lady with a pink-spiked Mohawk and an infinite number of piercings adorned to her face stumbled out, almost tripping over Cassie and her suitcase. The punk rocker looked down at the many large holes in her black stockings and then glared at Cassie as if she was the one responsible for all of the damage. Cassie quickly apologized and the girl simply shrugged her shoulders and disappeared into a nearby alley.

  At once, Cassie sprung to her feet and reached for the door before it slammed shut. She held it open with her foot, reached for her suitcase, and journeyed upstairs to the third floor to Jacob’s apartment. She stood in front of his door and placed her luggage down beside her. She ran her fingers through her long, blonde hair and took in a few deep breaths, trying to gather the courage to face him. Just as she raised her hand to knock on the door she heard some commotion coming from the old, rickety elevator. At first she heard giggling and then a man and a woman’s voice. As the elevator approached the third floor, Cassie recognized the man’s voice… Jacob.

  In a panic, she quickly snatched her suitcase and raced down the hall. She hid around the bend, peeking around the corner to catch a glimpse. What was she doing, she thought? When she awoke that morning in New Orleans, she would have never guessed that her current circumstances would prompt her to board a plane to New York City; sneak into Jacob’s building and then spy on him! How on earth did things get so complicated, she wondered? This was ridiculous! At that moment, she decided she was going to step out from behind the corner and reveal herself. He did an incredibly juvenile thing by sending her that text message earlier in the day and she figured the very least she could do was be the mature and classy woman she knew she was.

  Suddenly, the rusted accordion-styled elevator door opened and Cassie froze; bewildered by the two forms in front of her. Jacob and a mysterious brunette were kissing lustfully as they withdrew from the elevator. They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other, even bumping into the walls of the narrow corridor as they made their way toward his apartment. He reached into his pocket and grabbed his keys.

  “Oh Jacob—I’ve wanted you since the first day we met”, the woman breathlessly exclaimed. Jacob smiled, grabbed her waist and began kissing her again while simultaneously struggling to unlock his door. A few moments later the door slammed shut.

  Cassie stood still in disbelief as if the stress and the overwhelming fatigue she felt had caused her to hallucinate. She turned around and placed her back against the wall. Gradually she slid down it until she was sitting on the floor with her knees bent and her hands covering her distraught face. How could she have been so naive, she wondered? What could have happened in the last forty-eight hours that would have caused him to betray her like this?

  He’d told her that he loved her and like a fool, she’d bought his sales pitch. He’d told her about his past and reassured her that those days were behind him. She had actually believed him when he told her that she was special; that she’d saved him from himself; that he loved her. It was blatantly obvious to her now that Jacob wasn’t fazed by their separation—he’d clearly moved-on.

  Cassie did her best to wipe the tears from her cheeks and mustered enough strength to stand up. She covered her mouth for a moment in an attempt to prevent her sobs from returning and after regaining her composure, she picked up her suitcase and traveled down the slender corridor. She slowed as she neared Jacob’s apartment, trying to determine if she should make her presence known and then abruptly realized there was really no point. After nearly eighteen months of dating, she concluded she hadn’t known who he truly was at all and sadly, there was nothing left to say. She continued down the narrow hall and followed the stairs down to the exit. After adjusting her scarf, she buttoned her coat and placed her arm in the air to hail a nearby taxi.

  Cassie spent the rest of the evening at the airport. She paid a hefty fee for changing her return flight, but no longer saw any reason to stay in the city until Friday morning. Her savings were drained; unable to afford a hotel room, her exhausted body stretched across an empty row of lumpy seats at her departure gate.

  * * *

  One advantage of traveling on Thanksgiving Day was that most everyone had already arrived at their destination and the airport was eerily deserted. She glanced at the television and watched the two news anchors commentate on the famous Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade which was set to begin shortly. This was supposed to be a happy time: A time of togetherness and a time to be thankful for all of the important people in her life. Cassie acknowledged she felt more alone than ever before. This was without a doubt a Thanksgiving she would never forget, no matter how desperately she wanted to. While waiting patiently for her flight to depart back to New Orleans, she declared first thing Monday morning, she was going to call the director at the Denver Therapy Institute and officially claim her position.

  * * *

  Jacob felt an intense pulsation in his head. He placed his fingertips on his temples and began massaging in a circular motion before finally opening his eyes. The details from last night were a little fuzzy to say the least, but he was intelligent enough to put the puzzle pieces together. He was completely naked and lying next to him was one of the fellow interns from the firm, Vanessa. She was an exotic beauty and under different circumstances he knew he would have chased after her long ago. He’d known from the moment they were introduced earlier this summer that she was interested in him.

  Jacob stumbled out of bed and slipped on a pair of jeans. He made his way to his tiny kitchen and swallowed a few pills to alleviate his aching head. He poured himself a cup of coffee and heard a squeak as Vanessa opened the bedroom door. She was fully dressed now as well and suddenly seemed shy and embarrassed as she traveled toward him.

  “Coffee?” Jacob offered while raising his mug.

  “Sure. Thank you”, she replied. Jacob poured her a cup and handed it to her.

  They both stood with their backs leaning against the counter facing each other in silence, deliberately avoiding eye contact. This was awkward, he thought. Jacob decided to break the ice.

  “So, about last night…
Look, you’re a very sweet and beautiful girl, but we work together. The last thing I want is for there to be this… you know… weirdness between us—”

  “Absolutely—I completely agree! I was just about to say that myself.”

  Jacob studied her expression and body language. He knew deep down this was not at all how she really felt. “Well good, I’m glad”, he added.

  Silence fell upon them again. Vanessa took a few more sips from her coffee mug and then gently placed it down on the counter. “I should probably go. My parents are expecting me back home in Jersey later this evening for dinner.”

  “Here, let me walk you out.” Jacob sat his coffee mug down and headed for the door. He accompanied her to the elevator and opened the accordion gate.

  “Drive safe… and ah… I guess I’ll see you around.” Jacob gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek; the kind you would expect to receive from a distant relative, nothing like the passionate kisses they endured the evening before. Vanessa smiled and made eye contact one last time before stepping into the ancient elevator. Jacob closed the gate and took a step back as it slowly lowered. She turned her head away from his and looked down, clearly disheartened by the peculiarity.

  Once the elevator was out of sight Jacob returned to his apartment and sat at the side of his bed. He opened his nightstand drawer and retrieved the black ring box. He opened it and gazed at the precious token of commitment inside. “God, what have I done?” he mumbled.

  Just two short days ago, he’d purchased the ring and was ready to ask the woman of his dreams to marry him and there he sat, disgusted with himself over the choices that had led him to this point. He’d purposely pushed the only woman he’d ever loved away and feeling sorry for himself, he’d managed to get drunk and bring home Vanessa—as if a one night stand with any woman would remedy the pain of losing Cassie.