Chasing Destiny

by Nikki Rittenberry

  “It’s always been my dream to get married and be a mom… He’s forty-four, twice divorced with four kids—he wasn’t looking to marry again nor have more children. When I got back we had a long discussion and he assured me that he would keep an open mind and he convinced me that things would change. For a while—it did, but now we’re back to where we started. His number one priority is his business and it looks as though it will always be that way. The truth is, I’m not any closer to realizing my dream of becoming a wife and mother than I was two years ago on day one…”

  A single tear cascaded down her cheek and Jacob wiped it away with his thumb. His touch jolted her from her trance and she turned to look at him. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to ramble on like that.”

  “Don’t be—you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for”, he said.

  “You must think I’m crazy.”

  “I can think of a lot of adjectives to describe you… Crazy isn’t one of them.” He could see the raw agony behind her large, hazel eyes and he couldn’t help but feel partially responsible for it. He wondered silently about the difficult choice he’d made six years earlier; wondered what would have happened if he’d boarded that plane to New Orleans. “Come on.” Jacob offered his hand and assisted her to her feet. “Let’s not think about that right now. Would you like a glass of wine?”

  “Yeah, that would be really great, actually.”

  Jacob took her by the hand and assisted her to the stern of the boat where Emily and Tanner were waiting. He opened the bottle of wine and retrieved four plastic wine glasses from a straw bag and handed one to each of them.

  “So, I was thinking about dinner tonight. How does seafood sound?” Tanner asked.

  “It’s my favorite!” Cassie explained. “What did you have in mind?”

  “Well, Emily and I were talking and we thought we’d come to you. There is a fantastic place in Bath, three blocks from your bed and breakfast. It’s right on the river—we’re talking the freshest seafood around and some of the best views imaginable. What do you say?”

  “I’m sold!”

  “Count me in, too”, Jacob replied.

  “Okay then, it’s a date! We are going to have a wicked-good time!” Everyone shot Tanner a curious look—especially Emily.

  “I’m sorry—did you say a wicked-good time? Well, it didn’t take long for your New England tongue to resurface!” exclaimed Emily.

  Tanner wrapped his arms around her as he spoke. “Well, you certainly didn’t complain about my New England tongue last night, did you?”

  “Tanner!” Emily shouted, as she playfully slapped him on the shoulder. Her porcelain skin turned a brilliant shade of red. Tanner laughed at her transformation—he loved to get a rise out of her.

  * * *

  The Atlantic was becoming more restless by the minute and Jacob took over the wheel with Tanner’s guidance. He turned the wheel as Tanner adjusted the sails. They used a method called tacking, which allowed them to maneuver the boat forward against the wind. They zigzagged along the rocky coast, causing the boat to lean dramatically to one side. Cassie appeared frightened by it, but Tanner assured her that they weren’t going to tip over.

  The sea calmed as they approached the harbor and the massive vessel balanced into its proper upright position. They coasted into boat slip seven and Jacob leaped off of the edge, landing firmly on the dock. He tethered the sailboat, securing it while Tanner lowered a floating device between the hull and the dock to prevent damage to both incase of a collision. Cassie grabbed her bag and stood on the edge of the vessel. Jacob could see her hesitation; the upper deck towered roughly three and a half feet above the dock.

  He reached his arms up. “Here, let me help you. Put your hands on my shoulders. I’ll grab your waist and lower you down.”

  Cassie did as he instructed. She placed her hands on his broad, muscular shoulders and felt the firm grip from his large hands around her tiny waist. Once her feet were firmly planted on the dock she looked up at him. Their hands were still in place. She gazed deep into his mesmerizing, green eyes as though they were hypnotizing her.

  “Thank you”, she said softly.

  “You’re welcome.”

  Cassie broke free of his hold and walked ahead of him toward the cottage. Jacob followed slowly behind, observing her in amazement. What just happened, he wondered? They’d shared an unspoken attraction to one another since the day they’d met, but this was different. He recognized more than appreciation in her eyes; he saw emptiness and desire. He saw a beautiful woman involved with a man who endowed her with lavish gifts and deprived her of the emotional connection she so desperately craved. He saw a fiery yearning—for him.

  He wanted to fill that void, but he couldn’t. Jacob ran his hands through his dark hair in an attempt to clear his head. He reminded himself about what had happened the last time he’d followed through with his desires. He’d kissed her and sent her running back into Landon’s arms. Somehow, he needed to resist the temptation and observing her as she walked ahead of him certainly wasn’t helping.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The front porch swing appeared awfully inviting. Jacob took a seat, gently rocking back and forth while he waited for Cassie. An agile black bird with red wings perched itself on the small, black birdfeeder and picked at the seeds for several moments before focusing its attention on him.

  “Hey little fella—what are you looking at?”

  The bird angled its head slightly and stared a moment longer before finally flapping its wings to take flight. Jacob continued swaying effortlessly in the porch swing, bewildered. It was obvious to him that he still harbored feeling for Cassie—hell, even the small black bird saw right through him. Something was different, although he couldn’t quite pinpoint what. Cassie had confided in him the anguish she’d struggled to suppress and he’d finally caught a glimpse into her relationship with Landon. He was partially delighted that there was trouble brewing below the surface of their relationship, although it tore him to pieces to see her agonize over it. He wanted more than anything to believe that she was ready to put her relationship with Landon behind her and rekindle one with him, but he didn’t want to read too much into their earlier discussion or the look in her eyes after he’d lowered her from the boat.

  He raised the sleeve of his tan sport coat and glanced at his silver GUCCI watch: seven thirteen. Cassie was running a few minutes late, but then again so was their ride. Emily and Tanner offered to pick them up—even though the restaurant was only three blocks away. Jacob gently placed his head against the back of the swing and scratched the dark stubble along his pronounced jaw. He continued swaying with his eyes shut when he heard the front door to the inn close. He raised his head and opened his eyes; almost unable to speak.

  Cassie stood in front of him smiling. She wore her golden hair down, her natural waves settling softly down the middle of her back. The cap-sleeve wrap dress emphasized her figure along with the belt that accentuated her tiny waist. Its mint color complimented her olive skin, as well as the four inch, taupe sandals adorned to her pedicured feet. Was it possible for her to look more beautiful with every encounter, he wondered? Yes, it most certainly was and the ache in the pit of his stomach was proof of that.

  “Wow! Y-you look stunning”, he stuttered.

  “Thank you. You look pretty handsome yourself. Sorry I’m late.”

  “It’s alright; they’re not even here yet—”

  Cassie pointed ahead. “Well, they are now.”

  Tanner’s black Jaguar sedan turned into the gravel lot and two beeps sounded as Cassie and Jacob descended down the front porch steps.

  They arrived at the riverfront restaurant moments after they’d left the historic inn. Tanner was adamant about being seated outside along the back deck and as they were led to their black, wrought iron table, it became clear why. The view was breathtaking; the mirror-like Kennebec River reflected the violet clouds and kaleidoscopic heavens above. Hundreds of stran
ds of small patio lights were strewn overhead, delicately illuminating the riverfront deck as the sun finally disappeared out of view.

  The four of them became re-acquainted over dinner and reminisced about their college years back in New Orleans. When their fresh seafood platters were presented in front of them, Tanner held up his glass of pinot noir and proposed a toast.

  “Before we eat, I just wanted to say thank you. Jacob, you’re like a brother to me and I can’t imagine anyone else standing there next to me while I marry the love of my life. Cassie, where do I begin…? I’ve had the pleasure to get to know you over the years and I just can’t say enough good things about you! You’ve been an extraordinary friend to me and especially Emily, and I can’t tell you how appreciative we both are that you were able to share this moment in our lives with us. So, on that note I’d like to propose a toast… May our lives continue to interweave with every passing year—I love you guys!”

  They tapped their wine glasses together and sealed the toast with a taste. Cassie was happy for Emily and Tanner; they’d overcome many obstacles to get to this point. Emily was several years younger and when Tanner graduated they’d endured a long distance relationship. He’d graduated and moved to upstate New York to begin his career as a medical device salesman. Emily had stayed behind to finish her education and upon graduation had moved back to her hometown in Knoxville, Tennessee. She’d been offered a position as a microbiology teacher at one of the local high schools and had remained there up until the end of the school year at the beginning of the summer. She planned to move to Albany after they returned from their honeymoon.

  During dinner Cassie wondered what their secret was. How had they managed to make their long distance relationship work and why hadn’t her relationship with Jacob turned out similarly?

  After devouring their delicious entrees they sat at their table immersed in conversation when Cassie and Emily suddenly stood up from the table.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” Tanner asked.

  “The ladies room—we’ll be back in a few minutes”, replied Emily.

  Tanner looked over his shoulder as they walked away and once they were clearly out of sight, he turned his attention back to Jacob. “So, how are you holding up?”

  Jacob stroked the stubble along his jaw and let out a sigh. “I’m holding.”

  “Where do the two of you stand?”

  “We’re in a good place right now—she confided in me earlier on the boat about her relationship with Landon. Something’s clearly off with them right now and—”

  “How do you feel about Cassie?” Tanner interrupted.

  Jacob exhaled loudly through his mouth. “I’m crazy about her—I’ve had to fight the urge to kiss her again on more than one occasion today.”

  “Geez, you’ve got it bad for her, bro… Look, you need to tell her how you feel and if I was you, I’d start off by explaining why you walked away from her in the first place.”

  “I don’t know, man—we’ve been getting along great. I don’t want to ruin it.”

  “But what if you don’t ruin it? What if it only gets better from here? You mean to tell me the man who’s never been afraid to approach a beautiful woman—the man who comes up with some of the smoothest things to say to a woman—is afraid to tell the one woman he’s in love with how he really feels? Wow—that’s a first, my friend!”

  “A lot’s happened since I dodged my trip to New Orleans six years ago. She’s moved on—”

  “Yes, she did—she had to—but, she also hinted to you earlier that there’s trouble brewing in paradise! This may be the perfect opportunity—maybe even the last opportunity you have, bro.”

  Jacob pondered about that for a moment. The last thing he wanted was to push her away again, but he didn’t want to live the rest of his life wondering what might have been. “Maybe you’re right… Okay. I’ll tell her… tonight.”

  “Did you miss us?” Emily asked as they approached the table. She leaned over and gave Tanner a kiss.

  “I always miss you when you’re not around”, Tanner replied. “Look guys, I think we’re going to head back to the cottage. Do you want us to give you a lift back to the inn?”

  “I was actually going to stick around here for a while—the inn’s only a few blocks from here. I can walk back”, Jacob explained.

  “Okay… what about you, Cassie? Are you staying or going?” Tanner inquired.

  Cassie looked at Jacob for a brief moment before answering. “It’s still early… I think I’ll stay for a while, too.”

  After Jacob graciously paid their bill, they abandoned their table and ambled toward the outdoor bar. The lone guitarist sat on a stool in the corner on a small, raised section and played a soothing melody as they approached. Once they were seated, Jacob ordered another bottle of pinot noir.

  “Thank you”, Jacob said as he leaned his forearms against the bar.

  “For what?” she asked.

  “For staying…”

  “Well, it’s the least I could do—you did pay for my dinner.” Cassie smiled and gave a playful wink with one of her captivating, hazel eyes. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask you… how are your ribs and your shoulder doing?”

  “The ribs are fine, but the shoulder…” Jacob raised his arm and moved his shoulder in a circular motion. “It’s still a little stiff.”

  “Well, did you complete your therapy?”

  “No.”

  “Jake! Okay, you have a lot of explaining to do!”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “It wasn’t an intentional thing. When I got promoted I just didn’t have a lot of extra time.”

  “Well, I’d like to take a look at it before the week is over—if you don’t mind.”

  Please do. “You don’t think it’s too late to get back the movement I had before the accident, do you?” He asked, trying not to concentrate on the image of her hands touching his bare skin.

  “Well, I don’t know until I examine you. Once I have an idea how much range of motion you currently have, I can formulate a therapy regimen and give you my prognosis.”

  Jacob turned his body in the stool to face her and placed his elbow on the bar, resting the side of his head in the palm of his hand. His eager, green eyes targeted hers as he smiled.

  “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.

  “It’s nothing”, he replied, smiling.

  Cassie turned to face him; their knees touching. “Nothing? You can’t look at me like that and expect me to believe it’s nothing.”

  He wanted more than anything to tell her how beautiful she was and how he wanted to spend the rest of the night examining every last inch of her beautiful body, but he couldn’t. “Your intelligence is very becoming”, he finally managed. “You sound really cute.”

  Cassie could feel the warmth on her cheeks spread as she began to blush. What was it about this man that had that effect on her, she wondered? “Cute, huh? Well, I’m glad all those years of hard work in college paid-off!”

  Their bodies remained turned toward one another for the rest of the evening. They talked about his career and how his promotion had added extra pressure to an already demanding profession, amongst other things, and when their bottle of pinot noir was empty he paid their tab. It was late and the night was coming to an end. If he’d been unsure whether or not he was still in love with her before, there was no question after spending time alone with her tonight that he still was.

  They descended down the wood staircase and slowly ambled along the sidewalk toward the historic bed and breakfast. The wind had picked up and a light mist of fog was sparsely forming. Cassie crossed her arms and began rubbing her shoulders in an attempt to keep warm. Jacob noticed and removed his tan sport coat, covering her arms with it. He placed his hands in his pockets as they continued toward their destination. He was deep in thought, trying to figure out how he was going to explain to her the reasons their relationship failed and how he’d never stopped loving her.
His heart rate accelerated with every step and as they entered the gravel lot and approached the front porch steps, he knew the time had come.

  Jacob reached for her wrist as she climbed the first step, preventing her from climbing any further. “Cass, wait… There’s something really important that I wanted to talk to you about.”

  Cassie stepped back down, planting both feet firmly on the ground in front of him. “Okay… what do you want to talk to me about?”

  “I, ah…” Jacob scratched the top of his head. “I wanted to—”

  Without warning, Cassie’s cell phone interrupted. “Geez. Who could be calling me at this time of night?” She reached into her beige clutch and retrieved her phone before looking up at Jacob. “It’s Emily. Do you mind?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Okay, it will only take a minute”, she reiterated as she walked away.

  His heart galloped wildly in his chest and his palms were moist with sweat. He couldn’t remember the last time that a woman had made him this nervous. It was probably when he was a freshman in high school. He’d attended a party, along with his fellow baseball teammates, and had been eyeing Mikayla Johnson all night. Mikayla was two years older than him. The moments leading up to losing his virginity that night were tense; he was so nervous. He was a natural at the physical act and ever since, he’d been able to keep his nerves in check—but not now. He was moments away from telling the only woman that he’d ever loved that he was still in love with her and the reason he’d left her six years ago came from a place of love.

  Tanner was right; he’d never had a problem saying anything to a beautiful woman, so why was he at a loss for words now? Deep down, he knew why. Unlike all of the countless women he’d encountered over the last thirty-one years, she mattered. He was terrified that he was going to push her away again, but he was even more frightened of living the rest of his life with regret.

  “I’m sorry—Emily has impeccable timing, doesn’t she?”