Illicit Hunger

by Dee Carney

  And for the briefest of moments, he thought it would never end.

  No—he prayed it wouldn’t.

  She’d bitten him twice before and twice before, a wonderful union resulted. Tonight, the bite sent him careening headway into the powerful grips of love, pure and true. Tonight, he recognized the best union of them all, the one that would stay with him always existed in the real world where her jasmine scent and welcoming moans, where her soft curves and smooth skin were here for him to claim. To mark as his.

  Although an eternity passed, through the hazy fog of his mind he realized she licked the wound in his neck, sealing it. His thoughts refocused. Sounds and smells from their surroundings became recognizable.

  Spent, he tried to command his limbs to move, to relieve some of the pressure she must have been feeling as his weight pressed into her, but nothing wanted to respond. It took two tries, but he finally managed to roll to his side, bringing her with him. His penis slipped out of her with the movement, the sensation stripping him bare.

  He wanted to say something profound. His mind raced, but the best he could manage was to pepper her mouth with his. The sweet smile she gave him in return went straight to his heart.

  * * * *

  Lia stomped away from him and furious, Jericho didn’t try hard to catch up. He couldn’t believe they were arguing. Fucking arguing after spending all night making love.

  He wanted to yell into the night sky. How could she have truly believed he would just let her go without a fight? After what they just shared, how was he supposed to watch her walk away like none of it mattered?

  All he wanted to know was if there was some way they could be together. Even the smallest, remotest possibility would suit him. Yeah, he was acting like a whipped dog in his pursuit of her, but hell, she was worth it. Too bad she obviously didn’t feel the same way. Not like he assumed she did.

  She stopped, whirled back around to face him. Her mouth dropped open like she was ready to spew malicious words at him, but then she snapped it shut. She opened it again, but only a sigh escaped.

  She shook her head slowly. “What are we doing, Jericho?” she asked, her voice soft.

  He walked to her side, waiting until they were standing close to respond. A grudging smile quirked his lips. “Being angry about the impossibility of this situation and taking it out on each other.”

  She chuckled. “It doesn’t help that I’m exhausted and can’t think straight either.”

  The flash of pride at that statement shouldn’t have been so satisfying. Three times he laid with her tonight. Three times they shared something too intense for words.

  They were still far enough away from the complex he could be certain they wouldn’t be spotted. Pulling her into his arms, he kissed the crown of her hair. “Lia, what are we going to do? I just can’t lose you. I can’t.”

  “I’ve thought about it a dozen different ways. Don’t you think I’ve tried? I don’t know how if you can understand what it would mean to my father, my community if I tossed aside my duty. The same duty which has been drilled into me daily since I could walk.”

  He said quietly, “I know all about duty.”

  She must have heard the bitterness in his words because she pulled away enough to look into his eyes. “Is there something I should know?”

  “Over fifteen years of military service because of duty. Five years in duty to my Lugh. Five years of service in duty for my father, who never served his time but was somehow found out. Five years in duty for my very young cousin who I did not want to see sent to the military. I served his time for him. And these few months in duty to my equally young brother, who became injured and could not complete his term. A term I am gladly finishing for him.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “My mandatory military term for the community kept getting longer and longer for some reason or another. I wasn’t being gallant when your father offered me a reward and I turned it down.” Another bitter laugh escaped. “I was being tired. I’m ready to return home with the pension I’ve earned.”

  Lia squeezed around his waist. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Believe it or not, some vampire felt sorry for me and figured my experience could be put to use protecting the Lugh. It’s how I ended up serving directly under him. It was supposed to be just a few weeks of simple, uncomplicated service before I could leave for good. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would result in this.” He laughed again, this time filling the air with joy. “Had I only known… Every scar, every injury worth just five minutes with you.”

  “Thank you. I-I don’t know what else to say.”

  “Just know that I understand the pull your family can have on you. I’m not asking you to give it all up for me. I just want us to find a way to make it work.”

  She tried. She turned it over again and again, looking for some angle—any angle—to give them the outcome they sought. They worked against impossible odds.

  A vampire and a werewolf? The prima lux and her guard? Add in the fact the same prima lux would be marrying a sadist in hours and they were beyond screwed.

  She couldn’t divorce Lucas easily. A child would be required first. She didn’t want to ask Jericho to wait for her until then. That would be too cruel.

  If she took him as her lover—meeting for trysts, sneaking him into her suites—and they were discovered, he would most likely be executed and she would lose her title. The community might forgive its leader for having a liaison or two with another vampire, but never with a werewolf. She would not risk his life. Only one limp compromise came to mind, but gods, after what he’d just told her, it was so much to ask of him.

  “You’ve thought of something, haven’t you?” His luminescent eyes searched hers, a hesitant smile just starting to form.

  “It wouldn’t be fair…”

  “Lia, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Whatever it is, tell me.”

  It was the first time either said the words out loud. She wasn’t prepared for how it would make her feel. How her insides melted from the warmth spreading through her body, down her limbs and ending in her fingers and toes. In that moment, she could imagine living a simple life with him, one where they might one day start a family. Where neither had any other responsibilities except to themselves and their children.

  “The risk would be great, but,” she blew out a breath, scarcely believing she would tell him her thoughts, “you could remain with me. If you remained my guard, there would be less reason for others to suspect anything between us.”

  He was already shaking his head. “I don’t think I can knowingly share you with another man. If I had to watch him touch you, stand by your side… At first, I might be able to handle it, but I know eventually it would come between us. If it is our last, no other choice option, then so be it. It scares me though. We would be doomed before we began.”

  Her spirits sinking, she mumbled, “We’re already doomed.”

  The caress of his hand against her cheek made her look up into his face. “No. Don’t say that. We wouldn’t have been given this time together for it to be taken away from us just like that. I won’t believe that. Don’t doubt us ever, Lia. We will find a way.”

  She curled her fingers around his hand and brought it to her lips. The kiss she pressed there was a reminder for both of them that she did not doubt. Would never doubt. “I love you too, Jericho. This isn’t over yet. We still have a little time.”

  The smile he gave her melted her insides all over again.

  They walked in silence. She chewed the inside of her mouth, her mind sorting through every possible scenario which would put them together. Once, she glanced up at him to find his face a mask of concentration. Between the two of them, they just had to find a way.

  If only the wedding wasn’t only hours away. Hours before she would be wedded to Lucas. A chill spread down her spine every time she thought of it. What it would mean. What she would be forced to do for her community. She tried to
get out of the marriage once by pleading with the Lugh. He’d turned deaf ears to her, even after she’d shown him the damage Lucas had inflicted. Her relationship with her father cooled after that day.

  When Lia glanced up, the sun was about to breach the horizon beyond the walls of the complex. She looked around to find Jericho walking several feet behind her. So absorbed in her thoughts, she hadn’t noticed when he slowed.

  Her heart lurched. If they were in visual distance of the complex, anyone on the inside could see them too. Trust Jericho to maintain the appearance of propriety with her at all times.

  His voice was barely above a whisper, but she heard his words from where he walked behind her. “We cannot be seen together from here on, but I will escort you to your suite. You may not see me, and if you do, don’t acknowledge me. Just know that I will be watching over you. And, Lia… I love you. No matter what happens today, I love you.”

  She choked down the well of emotions threatening to bubble up and consume her. Blinded by stinging tears, she could only whisper back.

  “I love you too, Jericho. We will find a way.”

  As hard as she fought it, she had the unshakable feeling they would be the last words they exchanged.

  Chapter Ten

  Pounding on the door startled her awake. She’d only meant to sit on the edge of the bed for a moment to collect her thoughts. Lia still wore the skin-tight gown, her jewelry and makeup. Exhausted, she’d sat down to gather the energy necessary to strip before resting for an hour or two. Only the moment she sat down, her fatigued body had other ideas.

  The door flew open before she could answer. Indignant, she shot to her feet when Ross strode into the room. Behind him, two of her father’s guards blocked the doorway. Heat flamed her cheeks at his audacity. Who in hell did he think he was?

  “Prima lux, you are to come with me.” He eyed her clothing, taking in every detail. Something in his manner unsettled her.

  “How dare—”

  “Now.”

  Stunned that he would override her, her mouth dropped open. Seniority or not, he’d crossed the line. As far as she was concerned, his days with the family were numbered. She would personally see to it.

  “Ross, I demand to know what you are about! How dare you enter my quarters unannounced and without my invitation? I could have your head.”

  Unfazed, he stepped up to her, stopping when a few inches separated them. He grabbed her arm, tightening the grip until she winced from the pain of it. She turned her head when he brought his face close to hers. He inhaled deeply, the sound ominous to hear ears.

  “You stink of him.”

  He said it so low the men at the door would not have heard. The threat underlying his tone could not be mistaken.

  He knew. She didn’t know how, but she’d be willing to bet money before he even entered the room, he somehow knew.

  She turned to stare into his cold slits for eyes. “I do not know what you mean, but if you don’t let me go this instant, you will not live long enough to regret it.”

  Lia possessed absolutely nothing to back up her claim other than her words. If the battle-axe of a warrior wanted to hurt her, it would only take the flick of his wrist. They locked stares, her gaze unwavering.

  His hand slid away, but she didn’t allow herself the luxury of reveling in the small victory. For Ross to outright disrespect her meant he knew something she did not. She resisted the urge to rub her throbbing arm because he stared at her as if sizing her up. Trying to decide what course of action he would pursue next. If she wanted to maintain her diminished authority, she would not show him the smallest hint of vulnerability.

  Ross held out an arm, indicating the door. “Your father requires your immediate presence, prima lux.”

  Did he have something to do with this treatment? What did he know or suspect? Could Ross have hinted to him that something was awry between her and Jericho?

  She pointed her chin in the air. “I am not presentable. Please let him know I will be there momentarily.”

  “Your immediate presence.”

  Damn. There went any chance of a quick shower and change of clothing.

  It took a reserve of inner strength to not react in any other way than to follow his lead. Ross walked in front, the two other guards at her back. She’d noticed the complex seemed subdued this morning, but as they walked together, she really noticed for the first time how still everything seemed.

  Most of the people they passed did not look her in the eyes. However, a few of the servants watched openly. They seemed to watch her curiously, to scrutinize her situation. Passing judgment with a glance. If she didn’t know better, she would think she detected pity from some of them.

  Her mind raced trying to figure out what might be going on. Everyone but her seemed to know.

  If she’d been caught with Jericho, they surely wouldn’t have waited until now to confront her. She bit back the temptation to ask Ross. If ever she counted the old vamp as one of her friends, that relationship had vanished. Some of her apprehension waned as they headed toward her father’s suites. For a second, she’d wondered if Ross might take her elsewhere. If he had, then she’d really know how much shit she was in.

  They paused before the large oak door of the suite after Ross knocked. He glanced over his shoulder once, again taking the time to visually rake her from head to foot. Lia bore his scrutiny without comment. She would find out soon enough what this was all about.

  The Lugh bade them enter. Ross opened the door and stepped through. The two other guards remained outside. Before she could curtsy as she’d been raised to do each time she came into his presence, her father ran to Lia, wrapping her in his arms.

  “Thank the gods! Thank the gods you’re alright.” He rocked her from side to side, kissing her cheeks over and over.

  It took a moment for her to recover from the unexpected outpouring of emotion. Her father never displayed his emotions on his sleeve. Another lesson from the Lugh to the prima lux. Never put your heart out where others might see.

  Papa, what is the matter? Papa?

  He held her for a few minutes more before responding.

  Where were you, Aurelia? They said you were not in your suite and after what happened…

  But what happened? I’m flattered by your attention, but I don’t understand.

  His blue eyes widened. You haven’t heard?

  She shook her head, a bad feeling already forming in the pit of her stomach.

  Assassins. Assassins in the complex, Aurelia.

  Impossible! Are you injured? Did they come after you?

  They did not come after me, Aurelia. We suspect it was you—you and your fiancé who were the targets. Your suite had been broken into and Lucas…

  He didn’t continue, his eyes saddening. It didn’t register that he led her to a bench near the large stained glass window. It had been her favorite spot growing up. After her mother died, she sought comfort in the colorful panes. The scene of flying birds over a field of flowers provided her a place for her mourning imagination to escape.

  Lucas?

  I’m sorry to tell you he and two of his staff were killed in the night.

  Lia didn’t know which emotion hit hardest or fastest: relief, sadness or joy. She must not have done a good job hiding the flutter.

  “Your reaction does not comfort me, Aurelia.”

  She glanced at Ross who watched their exchange. She searched her mind for the appropriate words with which to reply. I’m sorry for his community’s loss, papa.

  “Is that the best you can do? He was your fiancé.” All of his previous relief fled like a thief. Now, disgust dripped from his words.

  It took all of her training to not blow out a breath of frustration. Obviously, he no longer cared if Ross was included in the conversation. “He was the fiancé you chose for me, papa. Not the one I would have chosen for myself. Especially after what I told you about him.”

  “That damned scar you make me look at day aft
er day? My healers could have had it removed the very first day,” he snapped. His face glowed bright red.

  “That was the point, papa! He hurt me, time and time again and all you would do for me is offer your healers. Why did you not break our engagement?”

  Turning to Ross, he said, “This conversation does not leave this room.”

  The guard nodded, his expression blank.

  The Lugh whirled back on Lia. “Your marriage would have been what was best for the community, Aurelia. Your sacrifice would have been for the community. You are prima lux and are not allowed the luxury of deciding what you want. It is decided for you. Why have you not understood this?”

  “Why can’t you see me as something other than the prima lux? Why do you not see me as your daughter, someone who deserves to make a few decisions in her life?”

  Deadlocked, they stared at each other.

  When neither moved for several minutes, she grimaced. If she knew one thing about her father, she knew he would never be the first to concede. Tamping down her anger, she tried again to offer her sympathy.

  I truly am sorry for his community, papa. Despite our personal differences, I would not have wished him dead. What will happen now?

  He waved a dismissive hand. We have already sent word to his community and hope they will not seek restitution. He was in my care and I failed him. Poisonings, stabbings, bombings. Assassinations for what? What has this world come to? He shook his head. And of course, the search for a suitable match for you must now begin again. This time he sighed. “There are so few communities appropriate for you. It will be difficult. I wouldn’t blame others if they were reluctant to join with us after this disaster.”

  Ross cleared his throat from behind them. He waited to be addressed. When the Lugh turned to him, he gave a curt nod.

  “My Lugh, I cannot help but notice the prima lux is still dressed from yesterday. With the recent events, I wonder if it is appropriate to inquire as to the reason.”

  Lia had to give him credit. He hadn’t risen to captain without cause. Not quite an order to his leader, but phrased in such a way it wouldn’t be ignored. Thankfully, she already had a reason lined up. In a bored tone, she said, “I fell asleep in my clothing, captain.”