Born of Shadows

by Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Grateful for small favors, he went to the door and motioned Desideria forward.

  She'd just left the cover of the trees when a light danced across the yard.

  Caillen cursed.

  Desideria hit the deck and flattened herself against the ground. For several seconds neither of them moved as they waited for discovery.

  But the light didn't return.

  He listened with his amp and heard nothing. Assuming it was safe, he waved her toward him again.

  She sprang to her feet and ran so fast that he barely saw her before she launched herself at him. The impact of her body sent them both tumbling into the building. It gave him a new appreciation for what it would take to defeat her in battle. She might be short, but she was strong and sturdy.

  He lay on his back, staring up at her. "You know this would be infinitely better if we were both naked."

  She screwed her nose up at him. "You're a pig."

  "Not really, Princess. Just a man. If you'd ever been around a real one and not the whelps who dote on your women, you'd understd that better. See what you've missed by drowning in the estrogen pool?"

  She scoffed at him. "I happen to like the way the water there feels."

  He arched a taunting brow. "Is that why you have yet to climb off me?"

  Desideria was horrified as she realized she hadn't moved. Every bit of her body was lying against his hard, muscled one. And honestly, it felt good. Real good. Her face heating, she practically jumped away.

  "Ah now that's just rude," he groused. "You know I did take a bath and everything. Several hours ago, but still." He flipped to his feet, then grimaced as if he'd struck his leg the wrong way before he limped over to secure the door.

  Even though she felt bad for his new ache, she didn't respond as she looked around the stark interior of their new shelter. "How safe do you think this is?"

  "Not very since the owners could walk in on us at any second." He pointed up to the loft. "That shouldn't be too bad though. It ought to keep us hidden until morning."

  "Do you really think the house is occupied?"

  He gestured to a stack of boxes in the corner of the shed. "Yeah, it looks like someone's been using it. Not to mention there's no rodents or spiderwebs. Someone's been keeping it clean."

  Figured.

  He indicated the loft with a jerk of his chin. "I'll help you up."

  Part of her was thrilled by his offer, but her pride wouldn't let him think her weak. If he could move and act like he wasn't in pain, so could she. "Thanks, but I don't need help."

  Caillen watched her jump up, grab the rope and lift herself to the small opening, then climb through so that he couldn't see her. Not one to be shown up for anything, he shot his grappling hook into the top crossbeam and let it jerk him from the ground to the loft, where he swung in next to her.

  She tsked at him. "Show-off."

  He laughed as he recoiled his hook. "When you got it, baby. Flaunt it."

  Desideria pressed her lips together to keep from smiling at him. The last thing he needed was encouragement. But she had to admit he was adorable when he was being aggravating.

  I must be high on pain. Only that would explain the bizarreness of her last thought.

  Shrugging the backpack from his shoulder, he set it down and pulled out a small metal envelope of dehydrated food. "It's not the best tasting, but it'll keep us going."

  "I'm too hungry to even taste it."

  "Good. That'll help." He handed her a small foil pack of wine. "Save this to the end and then use it to kill the taste of the other."

  She arched a brow at his serious tone. "Done this a lot, have you?"

  When he didn't respond, she realized he had a habit of that whenever she brought up his past. Something about it really bothered him. He'd talk about his sisters, but not anything else.

  What was back there that he was hiding?

  She'd ask, but she knew it wouldn't do her any good. So she tore into the foil and took a hesitant bite. Before she could stop herself, she shuddered.

  "Yeah," he breathed. "Soldiers affectionately call this S.S."

  "S.S.?"

  "Shit shingles. And for more entertainment, they then try to say it three times fast."

  She laughed. "I would accuse you of lying, but I doubt that you are."

  "I'm not creative enough to make that up." He took a bite and swallowed without the grimace she couldn't help making at the mere thought of tasting it again.

  All of a sudden, his comlink buzzed.

  They exchanged a happy, stunned stare.

  Caillen quickly jerked it out of his pack, put it in his ear and answered it. "Dagan here."

  "Thank the gods, boy. Where have you been?"

  Caillen smiled as he heard Darling's sharp castigation. "I'd say you wouldn't believe me, but yeah, you would. We're on an Andarion outpost."

  "We?"

  "Me and the Qillaq princess. We were attacked and--"

  "Don't say anything more. We've only got a few words before this is traced. Her people think you kidnapped her. Right now all authorities are being told to shoot to kill if they see you."

  Caillen clenched his teeth as his fury settled deep in his stomach. Oh yeah, her mother was a major bitch. "Guard my father and her mother. The assassins after us are after them. Her mother's Guard are traitors."

  "You sure?"

  "Absolutely."

  Darling cursed. "No one will believe that."

  "I know. Guard her until we have proof."

  "Will do. Smooth journeys, brother." Darling hung up on him.

  He'd be offended by the abruptness except he knew it was to protect them.

  Desideria held an expectant glint in her dark eyes. "What did he say?"

  "Your mother has put a call out for my head. Shoot to kill. Apparently I've kidnapped you."

  She scowled. "Why would they--"

  "Her traitors can kill us both now and say that I killed you and that they killed me while I was being apprehended. It's the perfect way to silence us both at once and leave them free to murder your mom."

  Desideria let out a sound of deep frustration as he stowed his comlink. "What are you doing? Why did you turn your link off?"

  "If it's on and they find my UIN, they can track me. I don't want any surprises, so until I need it, it's off."

  That made sense and she was grateful he knew about such things. Funny, she'd always counted herself as being extremely educated, but as her father had pointed out, there were a lot of things her people didn't know. Luckily Caillen's experience made up for her lack of knowledge. "Thank you, by the way."

  "For what?"

  "Telling whoever you were talking to to protect my mother. You have every reason to hate her and want her dead. But what you did was decent and I appreciate it."

  He scoffed at her praise. "Oh don't worry, Princess. My reasons are purely selfish. I want her to live. I don't want anything to happen to her--not even a hangnail--until I have the chance to choke the life out of her personally."

  "You know I can't let you do that."

  He raked a measuring gaze down her body. "Then you better start practicing 'cause, honey, you ain't big enough to stop me."

  That went down her spine like a razor and made her hackles rise. "I assure you, I'm more than capable of handling you."

  Still his eerie eyes mocked her. "Whatever lie feeds your ego, babe."

  She curled her lip at his derisive tone. At the moment she wanted to slap that arrogant look off his face. Gah, if he was one tenth the soldier his ego thought he was, they wouldn't have been caught in this situation. After all, he'd have been killed by her mother's Guard had she not shoved him into the pod.

  Come to think of it, he had yet to thank her for that.

  Yeah... and that made her even angrier at him.

  "You are so insufferable."

  "At least I wasn't spawned by the she-bitch."

  She clenched her fist to keep from punching him in their tigh
t quarters. Oh, how she wished she could get away from him or give him the beating he deserved. But that might get them taken and knocking that smug look off his face wasn't worth her life or her freedom--though it was hard to keep that in mind while he ate his crappy food in a way that really annoyed her. I hope you choke on it, you arrogant prick. Why had she thought for even a nanosecogri he was decent or handsome or anything other than a repugnant oaf?

  Unable to stand it, she lay down and turned her back to him so that she wouldn't have to look at him for even a trifle of a moment longer.

  Caillen was strangely amused by her angry response to his insulting her mother. Surely she had to know the woman was a bitch. How could she not want to choke her herself?

  She's her mother. No matter what, people tended to be forgiving of those who birthed them. He probably would have been that way too had he ever had one.

  And as he chewed, he tried his best to remember his adoptive mother's face. But all he could remember was Shahara looking so tired as she took care of him, Kasen, Tess and their mother. Of his sister holding him in her arms and weeping the night her mother died. He'd been too young to really understand it. Their dad had gone out on a drinking spree that had lasted for days. Meanwhile Shahara, just a child herself, had been left to make all the arrangements for burying her mother.

  If he lived to be a thousand years old, he'd never forget the sight of her young face and the sad bravery in her eyes as she picked out the clothes their mother would be buried in. "I wish we had something nice for her. She deserves something pretty. Just once."

  Life had been so brutal to all of them. But for Shahara, it'd been far more cruel.

  Because I failed to protect her. The pain of that one night when he'd let her go to the market alone still haunted him. Yeah, he'd only been a kid and had worked all day at the hangar repairing heavy equipment--all he'd wanted was to sit for a single minute without someone yelling at him that he was stupid and slow.

  Had he just found the strength to walk down the street with her...

  I'm such an asshole. And he would never forgive himself for what had been done to the one person in his life he'd always been able to depend on. The only person who'd ever told him that he was worth something.

  He'd failed her so badly.

  His gaze went to Desideria's stiff back. Another woman whose safety was dependent on him. The Andarions wouldn't be a bit kinder to her than Shahara's attacker had been. Desideria had no idea just how brutal life could be. She thought she knew, but she'd never seen someone strong broken by brutality. That look of haunted misery and shame that never went away. The fear that lingered forever afterward. Shahara had never fully recovered from her attack. At least not until Syn. He didn't know what his brother-in-law had done, but somehow Syn had finally taken away the ghost in his sister's eyes.

  It was why he'd die for the man even though he still didn't like the idea of Syn being married to his sister. Mostly because he lived in fear of Syn hurting her either accidentally or intentionally. He never again wanted to see Shahara look the way she had those first two years after her rape. Defeated and afraid of everyone and everything, she'd leaned on him so heavily at a time when he'd been nothing more than a gangly kid who needed someone to take care of him. It'd been at a time when Kase had been her sickest and Tess, rather than help, had drawn tight into herself and acted as if she'd been the one who'd been brutalized.

  No, Caillen, I can't do anything on my own. Someone might grab me. Help me, Cai! I don't want to get hurt.

  Tess had always been an attention whore and she'd refused to do anything for herself. Those years had been so fucking hard on him. The three of them had relied on him so much, he still wasn't sure how he'd managed to hold it together for them.

  Yet here he was...

  Still screwing up.

  And before he realized what he was doing, he reached out to touch a lock of Desideria's hair that was spilled on the boards between them. The dark silken strands teased at his flesh. It was ever his curse to be attracted to women. He loved the way they smelled and the sensation of being held by someone. His mother had been too sick to hold him when he was young and Shahara had ceased to touch him after her attack. The worst part of that had been the way she'd looked at him for the next few years--as if she was afraid he'd attack her too. That had killed him most of all.

  As for Tess and Kase, they'd never been affectionate that way. So he'd been forced to find affection with strangers who really couldn't care less about him. People were cruel by nature and he'd seen the ugliest side of them more times than he'd wanted to.

  He had no doubt whatsoever that Desideria would hand him over to save her own ass. All lives had a price tag and his was pretty low most days.

  Still there was a part of him that he didn't want to acknowledge that wanted what Shahara and Syn shared. That one person who would stand at his back and protect it no matter what. It was a part of him he hated and yet it was still there, needing. Aching. Wanting.

  Why are you whining? You're scarred. So what? Everyone's a veteran of a fucked-up universe.

  He was no different from anyone else. And as he lay there, twirling her hair around his finger while she held herself rigid, he wondered what scars she carried. Who had screwed her over and hurt her?

  After all, her mother was a grand bitch who appeared to be lacking any kind of human decency. The fact that Desideria was serving in her Guard where others looked down their noses at her said that her mother treated her like crap. What kind of parent would needlessly put their child in harm's way like that?

  Honestly, her loyalty to the viper was admirable. And before he realized what he was doing a single word slipped out of his lips. "Sorry." Wow, there was something he never did. To him an apology meant weakness, and he was anything but weak.

  He wouldn't have thought it possible, but somehow she managed to stiffen even more. "No, you're not. You meant every word."

  "Yeah, but I'm sorry I offended you."

  "Why?" Her tone was brittle.

  He answered her question with the simple truth. "Have no idea."

  "I'm still not speaking to you."

  He smiled at the ridiculousness of that comment. Whatever. He could probably charm her into forgiving him, but he wasn't really in the mood. He ached too much to try.

  This day had sucked in so many ways he couldn't even begin to catalog all of them. Right now he was too tired to care about anything other than catching some sleep.

  Rubbing his eyes, he stretched out on the cold floor and tried not to think about her. Unfortunately, the sweet scent of her skin hung in his nostrils and made him so hard he couldn't concentrate on anything except how close she lay beside him and how easy it would be to slide his hand down her warm cleavage and touch skin he knew would be incredibly soft and tasty. If she rode him with even half the passion she put into everything else, she'd be one incredible lover.

  I'm in hell.

  Not really true. He'd been in real hell and this wasn't it. But this was close.

  Think about tomorrow. They had a lot to do to get off this rock and back to the Arimanda. At least he knew Darling would take care of his father even if he had to out his Sentella identity to do it. So long as his friend was on board, no one would be able to get near Evzen.

  And as he ran over all the technical difficulties of what they'd have to do in the morning, he fell asleep.

  Desideria came awake to a light gentle snore in her ear and a warm, heavy weight completely surrounding her. It was like being wrapped in a hard, heavy blanket. At first she had no idea what it was until the scent of Caillen hit her forcefully and she realized her pillow was his left biceps. For the merest instant, she allowed herself to enjoy the novelty of waking up in someone's arms. He smelled so good and the sensation of his body surrounding hers...

  Until she felt something strange pressing against her hip. Was that...?

  Oh my gods...

  Horrified by the intimacy of what it was,
she jumped away from him with a mortified squeak. He woke up ready to fight. Out of nowhere a knife appeared in his hand as he looked about for an enemy.

  His gaze focused on her before he gave her a fierce scowl.

  A shiver went down her spine at his new, sinister appearance. True to his words, his hair fell just past his shoulders. Jet black, it made his Andarion eyes all the eerier. He looked nothing like the rogue she'd come to know...

  Until he grinned.

  Yeah, she'd know that cocky twist of the lips anywhere. "You are a total freak of nature. You know that?"

  His laugh was as dark as his aura. "Yes, but you're going to be grateful I look like this when we runnto the natives."

  She wasn't so sure about that.

  Yawning, he stretched, then scratched at the whiskers on his chin in that familiar gesture she was coming to know a little too well.

  She jerked her chin toward his hand. "You always come awake with a knife?"

  "No. Usually it's my blaster and normally I'm shooting. Be glad I'm still tired."

  She scoffed at his bravado. "You expect me to believe that?"

  "Believe it or not, it's the truth." He slid the knife back into a sheath that was hidden in his sleeve.

  If he had any memory of cuddling her while they slept, he showed no sign of it as he stretched his body and went through a series of graceful movements that showed her just how flexible he was for a man.

  Once he was done, he pulled his backpack up. "You hungry?"

  "Not for another round of ick. Sorry."

  "I understand." He took a small band from the pack and pulled his hair back from his face to secure it into a becoming ponytail. "Now that I look semi passable, let's get off this rock and find something decent to eat."

  Her stomach grumbled a reminder that she hadn't really eaten the day before. "Don't they have edible food here?"

  "Probably, but the first rule of survival. Don't stop to eat or get laid. I've known more people to get killed because they let their stomach or hormones dictate evac. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a cautionary tale for anybody."

  He had a point.

  Caillen handed her the cloak. "Remember to stay covered no matter what."

  Desideria pulled her hair back and coiled it into a bun before she raised the cowl. "How's this?"