by Danni Roan
“How did you get over being so angry?” Angie asked. She and Del had once had a very serious discussion all those years ago about handicaps. Angie couldn’t believe now that at sixteen she had been so forward.
“I did, but it took a bad accident,” Del said. “I saw something good come from something bad and just couldn’t hold on to the anger anymore.”
“Like my fear,” Angie said dropping her eyes. “I don’t know if it’s gone for good, but I guess I’ll just have to deal with it day by day.”
“That’s all He wants from us,” Del agreed, pointing up at the ceiling. “God knows we’re weak, frail, and fallible, all the things He is not. I’m mighty glad He’s patient too.”
Angie chuckled. “You sure have changed since I was here last. You seem to have come to grips with your prosthetic and what happened to you in the army.”
“It’s just part of who I am now. I don’t see a handicap anymore. I still wish it had never happened, but I know that God didn’t abandon me. He’ll be there for you each step of the way to.” Del rested her hand on Angie’s shoulder. “Just have a little faith.”
Angie placed her hand over Delmarie’s and nodded. “One day at a time.”
Her short roll toward her cabin proved that even with the long soak she would have some sore muscles in the morning. Still, it felt good to be challenged. She was so happy to have finally managed to get on a horse and even go for a longer ride. She needed to call her mother and tell her everything. For a moment, she considered not telling anyone about Jace, but how could she deny him the credit he deserved even if her mother would assume that Angie had a crush.
Pausing she looked around her taking in the guests strolling the wide-open spaces or gazing at the horses in the fields. What would be wrong with her having a crush on the handsome cowboy anyway? She was only here for a short time. Didn’t people have spring flings over the break all the time? With a giggle, she pushed on toward her cabin and a chance to stretch out on the couch. She might even have a bit of fun when she talked to her mother.
***
“Mom, seriously it isn’t like that. Yes, he is a handsome cowboy. No, he didn’t fall in love with me at first sight. Yes, we are just friends.” Angie giggled at her mother’s excitement.
“Angie you’re a beautiful young woman don’t count yourself out. You never know this might be Mr. Right.”
Angie rolled her eyes but grinned. “She knew that her life was headed in a different direction than Jace. Just that morning he had gone on about how much he liked working on the Broken J, she didn’t see him giving that up for something that might never happen.
“Mom he’s just a nice guy,” Angie insisted again. “He’s easy to hang out with and helped me so much. I rode a horse, twice, and I don’t think it would have happened if he hadn’t been there.”
Angie’s mother was quiet on the other end of the line for so long that she checked her phone to see that the call hadn’t dropped. “Are you sure you’re safe?” Mrs. Cortez asked. “I mean you don’t want to fall.”
“Mom I’m safe. I’m even starting to think that I might apply for a job at one of those horse therapy places. I’m not sure, but I think it would be great. Maybe I could get an internship at the one off of Narcoossee Road this summer after graduation.”
“Angie,”
“Mom, don’t start. I know you worry and I appreciate it, but I’m going to push myself until I know exactly what I’m capable of.”
“Hey pumpkin,” Angie’s dad came on the phone. “Don’t worry, your mom and I both know you can do it.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Angie felt her throat tighten with emotion. Her parents had always allowed her to try even while they worried.
“Send more pictures though,” her father added. “I need to see who this guy is that your mother is convinced is so right for you.”
“Dad,” Angie laughed. “He’s just a wrangler, and he’s being nice. You will not be rolling me down the aisle anytime soon. Besides, I need to finish school first, so I’ll be home to pester you both soon.”
“All right sweetheart. Do send pictures. We had a blast at the Broken J when we were there. Maybe I’ll take your mom back to Wyoming for a second honeymoon.”
Angie could hear her father plant a loud smoochy kiss on her mother’s cheek and groaned. “If you two are going to start that I’m hanging up. Goodbye.”
Clicking off the phone, Angie leaned back on the comfortable sofa and let out a deep breath. She had known what the conversation would be like, but it had still been fun. Maybe someday, her parents' dream of her finding a love of her own would come true, and they could know she would have someone to look after her the way they always had. This, however, was not the day.
***
Lunch was a quiet meal on the Broken J and a little lonely. Angie was surprised at how much she missed Jace and his friendly, comfortable presence. She chatted with Mrs. Wade for some time after the other guests had cleared off, but found herself at loose ends until the scheduled ride.
It was surprising how excited she was about getting back on a horse. Of course, she knew she would be riding Ben and that the old horse was dependable, but more than that, she felt safe when she was with Jace.
Shaking her head Angie reminded herself that she couldn’t let herself become dependent on the kind cowboy. Soon she would be headed home but to a life of looking after her own needs. She needed to learn how to mount a horse on her own and the thought made her stomach squirm. This evening she would allow Jace to help her then talk to him about helping her learn to do it herself. She had always insisted on doing everything she could for herself, and though at times it would have been easier to ask for help, she wanted to be able to live on her own, do her job, and not let her handicap hold her back from anything she wanted to do. There were plenty of laws in place to ensure that people like herself didn’t have to worry about discrimination, but that didn’t mean there weren’t still limitations to ability.
“Hey girl,” a chipper voice interrupted Angie’s musings as she rolled down the ramp at the front of the old ranch house. “You look lost in thought.”
“Hi Michelle,” Angie offered her brightest smile willing her worries away as she looked up at Michelle whose unruly dark curls seemed to want to go every direction at once. “I was just thinking about riding again tonight.”
“Kade said you’ve been out riding with Jace, good for you” Michelle offered Angie a high five and a grin. “I’m glad you finally got yourself onto a horse, I know last time it was just too much.”
Angie grinned but shook her head. “That is exactly what I was thinking about. I haven’t done it myself yet, and I want to learn how. So far, Jace has pretty much lifted me into the saddle each time, but that isn’t going to help me in the future. I have to learn to do this on my own.”
Michelle dropped a hand to Angie’s shoulder and looked down into her dark eyes. “You’ll do it. Your dad told me when you were here before that when you set your mind to something you always get it done.”
“Thanks,” Angie sighed, appreciating the vote of confidence. “It was hard just getting up the courage to sit on a horse, but I think I can do this, I just have to figure out how.”
Michelle’s light laugh caught Angie by surprised and she tipped her head inquisitively. “What’s so funny?”
“When I first married Kade, he didn’t realize I was afraid of horses and put me right up on top of one of the mules. He just picked me up and dropped me on its back. I was so scared I couldn’t even yelp, but then I got mad. Over the years, I’ve gotten used to horses and I’ve lost that fear. Of course, I still get mad when he puts our children up and lets them ride around bareback, but I have to remember that I’m not the only one who loves my babies and that God is watching over them too. Besides, I know Kade would never let anything happen, but my mom’s heart still stutters with fear.”
“It’s easy to remember these things when you firmly on the ground, but not as easy
once you try something new.” Angie looked out across the ranch then back at Michelle. “I guess a healthy dose of fear is good for us, but not fear that overwhelms or steals our joy.” Angie’s words seem to strike her own heart, and she realized that it wasn’t only the fear of sitting on a horse or not being able to do the job she had her heart set on, but the fear of failure that was holding her back.
“At the end of the day, we need to have the faith to believe that God truly is in control. We like to fool ourselves into believing that we control our lives, but there is only so much that we can control. At the end of the day, we have to give what we can’t manage over to God. He promised to be with us always.”
Angie nodded. “Thanks, Michelle. Those are good words to hear. Now, where are those little rug rats of yours anyway?”
Michelle giggled, a soft tittering sound in the bright sun. “I left them with my sister and niece for the day. She and her husband are back for a visit. I’m sneaking into the house to raid Mrs. Wade’s cookie jar and have a huge cup of coffee all by myself.”
Angie laughed. Sometimes a few moments alone were just what the doctor ordered. “Enjoy,” she chuckled then waved before pushing off toward the barn. It wouldn’t hurt to take some time to study the workings of a stable. She was sure now that she wanted to try for a rehab stable job, and there was no better place to learn than right here where skilled cowboys managed a string of sound horses with a watchful eye on the inexperienced and extra exuberant quests of the Broken J.
Parking her wheelchair out of the way of the bustle that surrounded the big aged-wood barn Angie pushed the brake on her chair and began a new kind of study. Horse-101 was in session.
Chapter 11
“Jace, I don’t mean to be a nuisance,” Angie said as they turned their horses down a trail. “You’ve already done so much for me, and I don’t want to take all of your time.” She stopped talking when Jace chuckled and turned to glare at him.
“Angie, you aren’t a nuisance, and you aren’t taking all of my time. What can I do? Just ask.” He felt warmth in his chest as she watched him. He knew it wasn’t easy for her to ask for help, and he was determined to let her know that he would do whatever he could for her, always.
Angie squirmed slightly in the saddle. She had enjoyed feeling his strong arms around her again when he had lifted her onto Ben’s back, and she could continue to let him help her each time, but she knew what she needed to do. “I was wondering if you could help me learn how to mount on my own. I know it won’t be easy,” she hurried on. “I need to learn though so that if I have to I can do it. I won’t be here much longer, and I prefer to do things for myself.” Angie felt her face flush at the rush of words, but they were out, and she could only hope he would agree.
“I can do that.” Jace’s simple words washed over her, bringing a wave of relief.
“Thanks. I’ve decided that if I can, I’d like to try to get a job at one of those rehab stables after all. There is one not far from where I live, and I’m going to apply as an intern. Now that I know I can ride, it will only be a matter of time until I can help others.” The familiar burn of nervous acid in her stomach threatened, but Angie pushed it down. She couldn’t give in to fear. If God willed it, her dreams would come true.
“That’s a big dream,” Jace commented absently. “A good one. A lot of people with handicaps don’t think they can do things like ride a horse. You could inspire them to try.”
Angie pulled his words to her, clutching them like an old blanket to comfort her soul. Jace thought her dream was a good one, and it made her heart sore. They rode on in silence for several minutes both lost in their thoughts as they wound their way up a low rise. The summer sun was low on the horizon but still offered warmth as the golden light slowly shifted to orange. Looking to her left, Angie could see an old log cabin that faced the creek below and a small collection of outbuildings nearby.
“What is this place?” she asked.
“This was one of the original buildings put up in the late 1800s,” Jace replied. “From what I understand it belonged to the cattleman’s best friend who came west with him on a wagon train. I don’t know why he chose to build over here though.”
“It’s beautiful up here,” Angie mused as they came to a stop at the top of the rise and she closed her eyes lifting her face to the setting sun. The spring air was chilly, but the warm sun bathed her face in a golden glow.
“It sure is,” Jace mused his eyes falling on Angie’s face as the sun kissed her skin with fire. He wasn’t sure when it had happened exactly, but his admiration for the young woman in the wheelchair had begun to change to something else. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and determined. All qualities he admired in anyone and his heart was slowly falling for her. It was stupid he knew. He was a wrangler on a dude ranch and pretty women passed through all the time, but somehow this was different.
“I’m off all day tomorrow,” Jace spoke, his voice soft and husky. “How about we work in the back corral again?”
“I can’t take up your day off.” Angie’s eyes flew open, and she gaped at him. “Surely you have things you need to do. People, you need to see.”
Jace shook his head. “Nope, no one’s waiting to see me,” he grinned. “I’ll call the folks at some point, but other than that I’m all yours.” He hoped his bright smile would convince her that he was truly all hers, but couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Are you sure?”
“Yep.”
“All right.” Angie studied the cowboy beside her as the sun slipped lower on the horizon. He was leaning on his saddle horn his eyes fixed on the glory of the sunset, and she thrilled to the idea of spending the day with him. She wondered if it would be possible for them to have a picnic made up then blushed at the notion. She had no hold on this man. He was simply being kind.
“Will we be okay riding back to the ranch in the dark?” Angie finally asked breaking the silence.
“We’ll be fine.” Jace turned, studying her. “Unless you aren’t comfortable with the idea. We can head back now if you want to.”
“No, I think I’d like to stay. It’s so peaceful here, and the sunset is stunning.”
Jace turned back to the crimson line along the darkening horizon. High above the brightest stars were twinkling to life in an azure sky. Night was falling, but the day wasn’t done yet. He had always liked riding at night. You had to trust your horse’s instincts and keep your wits about you, but the silence of the night was soothing.
Old Ben shifted closer to Jace’s mount and he heard Angie’s sharp intake of breath as the horse moved unbidden.
“It’s all right,” he said reaching out and touching her arm. “He’s just getting comfortable.”
Angie shook her head in disgust. “I should have been paying attention,” she grumbled. “I was so taken with the sunset that I almost forgot.”
“That means you’re getting comfortable,” Jace smiled, his hand rubbing her arm above the elbow. “You’ll be a horsewoman in no time.”
Angie didn’t speak afraid that if she moved, he would pull his hand back, and she would feel alone once more. She had to admit that the feelings that were starting to grow in her heart were more than appreciation for the cowboy’s help. Given the chance, she was pretty sure she could fall in love with Jace Anson. It was foolish, but a tiny part of her longed for the opportunity. The romantic girl that still lived way down inside whispered for a chance at love. A spring fling that she could hold dear for years to come. April in Wyoming could be a month she would always cherish.
The ride home was one that Angie knew she would never forget. As the bright stars began to twinkle above, Jace slid his hand down her arm taking her hand. “So you won’t be scared,” he drawled, his voice a soft timber in the warm night.
Angie wrapped her fingers in his and nodded afraid to speak and ruin the moment as they let their horses pick the way back to the big barn.
Chapter 12
Jace
raked himself over the coals the whole way back to the bunkhouse after stabling the horses. He should never have given in to his feelings and held Angie’s hand, but somewhere between the easy conversation, beautiful sunset, and burgeoning night sky, he’d become a fool.
It had taken even more will power not to kiss the girl as he lowered her into her wheelchair, but at least he hadn’t lost his head completely.
“Where you been Jace,” one of the wranglers called as he headed toward his rack along the wall. “I thought you had tonight and tomorrow off.”
“I was out for a ride,” Jace answered evasively. “I’m going to catch up on messages then hit the hay.”
Another puncher raised a brow but didn’t say anything. Jace was usually a cheerful talker after a day of work.
Jace flopped down on his bed and pulled out his tablet. He hadn’t written to his folks in a while, and he thought he’d better catch up. He didn’t feel like talking, so a message would just have to do. Even now, he was distracted by a set of sparkling dark eyes and a sweet smile. He had agreed to meet Angie the next day at eleven, and they would go for a ride. He hoped he could help her learn to mount a horse on her own, but part of him wished she hadn’t asked. He was happy to help her gain more independence, but he knew he would miss those brief moments when she rested in his arms, her hands linked behind his neck as he lifted her into the saddle.
Rolling over he faced the wall of the ancient bunkhouse. A lot of cowhands had made their way through this place, and he wondered if any before him had lost their heart to a pretty smile and a kind heart. He would have to ask Phil one of these days since she had old letters and photos from the founders of the ranch and knew all of their stories.
Zipping off a message to his folks Jace slipped his tablet back into his storage locker, grabbed new clothes, and headed to the back of the building where modern showers and bathing facilities had been added for the wranglers' comfort. Perhaps, if he scrubbed hard enough, he could wash away his crazy feelings and ridiculous dreams. Angie would be leaving for the real world the following week, and he would remain here, in limbo, still uncertain of his place in the wide world. His thoughts drifted toward the unknown, and he lifted a prayer from his heart.
