by Danni Roan
God, I’m not sure what you want from me. I feel like I’ve been drifting for a long time and don’t know where I belong. I don’t have a ranch of my own but I love the life of a wrangler and rancher. I also like helping people like Angie and only want what’s best for me. I pray you’ll let me know what you have for me in this life, and that somehow I’ll be a steadfast witness for you through the years. No matter what you have in store, I’ll do my best to accept it. Amen.
Jace’s silent pray lasted the length of the walk to the showers, but when he turned on the hot water, all he could think about was a pretty face and a warm smile that belonged to a hopeful heart.
***
Angie fell into bed her hand still tingling from where Jace had held it on the ride home. It had taken all of her will power not to kiss him when she’d slipped off Ben’s back and into Jace’s arms, but he had put her into her chair so fast that she hadn’t even had a chance to act on her ridiculous thoughts.
“Angie, you’re losing it,” she called into the dark room. “You know he’s just being nice to you. Don’t go losing your heart to a caring cowboy. You’ll be gone next week and then what.”
Shifting on the comfortable bed, she smiled. Her heart would ache when she left the Broken J, but it was worth it. She would have the memories to take with her and a dream of a handsome cowboy.
Reaching for her phone on the nightstand, she pulled up her contacts and speed-dialed Christina. Maybe talking to her old school friend would make her feel better. She could always gush to her strawberry-blonde bestie about a boy.
“Hey,” Christina’s voice sounded sleepy and Angie cringed remembering the time difference in Florida.
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
“No, I’m just lazing around on the couch. I’m not ready for bed yet. So tell me how is the ranch? Is it like you remembered? Are the cowboys all drop-dead gorgeous? Have you made them all fall in love with you yet?”
Angie laughed already feeling better at her friend’s rapid-fire questions. “Hey, slow down,” the giggle felt like old times, and she could almost see Christina rolling her eyes. “I’m having a really good time,” Angie admitted. “I’ve even ridden a horse three times now.”
“I knew you could do it!” Christina shouted all traces of sleep gone now. “You are so cool.”
“I don’t know about that,” Angie disagreed. “I also had a lot of help. This wrangler, Jace, he helped me get over being afraid to get on a horse. He’s going to teach me to mount up by myself tomorrow.”
“Jace huh?” Christina’s voice held an edge. “And why don’t I have any pictures of this hunky cowpoke yet? I bet you plan on keeping him all to yourself.
“Christina,” Angie giggled. “You know I’m coming home next week and I’m not going to fall for a cowboy I’ll never see again.”
“Why not? Isn’t that half the fun of a spring break trip? You get to fall in and out of love with all the strangers you meet. Now spill. I want to know all about Jace. I bet he’s dreamy.”
Angie laughed again at her friend’s dreamy tone but found herself telling Christina everything, even admitting she liked Jace as more than the hired help.
“Tell him,” Christina insisted. “You never know what might happen. Besides isn’t it about time you take some risks with your heart? You’ve always been willing to push yourself physically and try to do everything. How is this different?”
Long after the conversation ended, Angie wondered if her old friend was right. If she trusted her well-being to Jace’s arms, why couldn’t she trust him with her heart? The worst that could happen was that she left the Broken J with sweet memories and a bruised heart.
***
Jace was waiting for her at the front of the barn as Angie rolled over the gravel path and smiled. He looked handsome in a blue plaid shirt and fitted jeans. The man looked like he was straight out of a horse and rider magazine, and Angie liked what she saw.
Two horses stood patiently by the corral rail, saddled and ready to go. Ben turned his head at Angie’s approach and nickered. “Hey fella,” Angie said rolling forward and patting the buckskin’s nose. “You’re probably hoping for a coo…” she turned her head to Jace and snapped her lips shut on a smile. “C.O.O.K.I.E,” she spelled instead.
Jace grinned, peeking out from under his hat brim, a twinkle in his eye. “That was a close one,” he laughed. “You wouldn’t want to get the old boy’s hopes up now would you?”
Angie ran her hand down over the horse’s black mussel, shaking her head. “If I had said it, would you have given him one?”
“I’d have to, I never break my promises,” Jace’s smile was bright but there was something more in his eyes. Something unsaid that made Angie’s heart beat a little faster. “Are you ready?”
“Ready to roll,” Angie enthused breathlessly.
Jace untied Ben and handed Angie the reins. “Loop these around the arm of your chair and Ben will follow. I figure you’d better get a handle on how to lead a horse and all if you’re gonna try for a position at a therapy ranch.”
Angie smiled and twisted the reins around her chair as Jace showed her the best kind of slipknot to use.
“It’s strong enough that the horse will feel a tug, but you can release it quickly if something happens.”
“Do things happen often?” Angie felt her chest tighten at the thought. Could the horse drag her over if it tried? Would it?
“You should always be prepared,” Jace offered with a warm smile. “That way everyone stays safe.”
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” Angie chewed her bottom lip with worry, her mind racing ahead to all the terrible things that might happen to her if a horse got out of control. They had rolled around the edge of the big barn coming out into the field on the other side and the smaller corral at the back of the barn.
Angie could feel the familiar panic setting in and wanted to turn around, heading to the safe confines of her cabin.
Jace dropped to one knee in front of her taking her face in his hands and forcing her to look at him. “Just breathe,” he drawled. “You’re tougher than this. Don’t give up before you’ve even tried.”
Tears stung Angie’s eyes, but she couldn’t look away. Jace’s blue eyes bore into hers with an intensity that filled her with white-hot heat. She pulled in a deep breath letting it out slowly and then another one while Jace’s eyes never wavered. “That’s it,” his warm, rich voice soothed. “You’ve already come so far, don’t give up now.”
Angie leaned forward closing her eyes as Jace lowered his head touching his forehead to hers for several long soothing seconds. “Darlin’ no matter where you are or what you’re doing things can go wrong. That’s life. We think we know which way we’re going and then the next second we’re turned around and everything is upside down.” He pulled back capturing her eyes once more. “Now, are you ready?”
Angie nodded feeling determination steel her spine. “Thank you,” she sighed.
Chapter 13
They were on their third try to get Angie into the saddle. Tears threatened once more but this time with anger and frustration. Each time she would get into the sling and push the button that raised and lowered it, she would get halfway up and start to panic again.
Her chest ached from battling the scream of frustration that welled inside, but she bit down on her lip and lowered herself back to her chair. “It’s no use,” she spat. “I’m too weak. I can’t do it. Every time I’m halfway there I get so scared I can’t breathe. I’m done. This isn’t going to happen.”
Jace reached out taking Angie into his arms and giving her a tight hug. “Do you trust me?” he whispered into her ear as his warmth and strength engulfed her.
“I do,” she admitted, her words a mere breathe.
“We’re going to try one more thing.” Jace pulled back his hands resting lightly on her shoulders. “Give me a minute and I’ll get things ready.” His heart ached for the pain he saw in her eyes, and
he prayed his decision would be right.
Angie sniffed feeling the tears spill down her face but nodded. “I’ll try.” Anger warred with her fear in the pit of her stomach and the pain threatened to overwhelm her, but Jace’s steady hand and warm touch centered her.
“Stay right here,” Jace whispered placing a chaste kiss on her brow.
Angie sat in her chair, tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she pleaded with God to give her strength. Jace seemed to be gone forever, and she felt alone and vulnerable.
The soft creak of wheels caught her ears and her troubled mind thought a grocery buggy with a squeaky wheel was approaching, but there wouldn’t be anything like that on the ranch.
A moment later Jace came into view pushing a set of molded green fiberglass stairs that trundled along on rusty wheels.
“We’re going to try the mounting block.” Jace’s voice was firm and confident even as Angie shook her head.
“Jace,” she hiccupped gesturing to her legs. “I can’t walk upstairs.”
“You don’t need to walk, you can scoot.” Jace’s smile was like the sun breaking through clouds and the confidence in his voice washed over her carrying her along on it like a wave.
“It can’t hurt to try,” Jace continued. “Every stable has a mounting block and ours is a little taller than some to accommodate folks of all heights. Let’s give it a try.” Jace pushed the step up to Ben, who stood placidly by, then turned grasping Angie’s chair and wheeling her to the bottom step. “Ready?”
Angie pushed herself up using her arms to leverage her body out of the chair and onto the bottom step. Jace hovered nearby but let her work on her own. As her bottom connected with the step, she looked up catching his intense stare.
As a kid, this was very much how she had gotten herself in and out of her parent’s SUV. “This is like getting into my mom’s car,” she said. “At least so far anyway.”
“Now put your arms on the next step and pull yourself up.” Jace took a half step closer his voice even and full of encouragement.
Angie placed her hands on the stair behind her and hefted herself up to sit on it. Years of shifting her body with nothing but her arms had given Angie great upper body strength and the slide upward was familiar and easy.
“That’s one.” Jace’s voice was teasing and Angie felt some of the tension fall away from her chest. The next step was as easy as the first and this time she didn’t hesitate to move to the top.
“Now what?” Angie said. She was at the top step, almost parallel with the saddle but her back was to Ben and she couldn’t see what she was doing.
“I guess you have two choices.” Jace nodded toward his horse. “First you could scoot on to the saddle then swing a leg over, but I’d worry you might slide off the other side, or you could turn sideways with your legs on the step and just shimmy over until you can get your leg over. You should be able to grab the saddle bars then and just slide.”
Angie tried to turn her head to see how close she was to Ben’s back, but her body wouldn’t bend that way so she lifted first one leg then the other until she was sitting on the step parallel to her mount. “I think this is probably the safest thing to do.” She studied her options for a long moment then turned back to Jace with a light blush. “Would you mind standing on the other side of Ben just in case?”
Jace smiled stepping around the mounting block and resting a hand on Ben’s rump as he walked around to the far side of the horse. “Ready?”
Angie took a deep breath and lifted her right leg slipping it over the saddle where it slid down pulling her in that direction. For a second she felt off balance and scrabbled to grab the rails set into the front of the saddle, but once she balanced herself again, her confidence returned, and she quickly pulled herself into a seated position.
“I did it!” she squealed before slapping a hand over her mouth when Ben lifted his head. “Sorry,” she said more calmly, patting Ben with a reassuring hand. “That was pretty easy.” Her dark eyes sparkled with joy as she looked down at Jace whose hands were lifted as if to catch her if she fell.
“Looks like you hardly need me anymore,” he teased, but then grew serious when Angie gasped.
“Don’t say that. I still don’t know enough about horses to be left on my own.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Jace said patting her leg, but his eyes had gone sad, and she wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms and chase that sorrow away. “You’d better buckle up,” he added pointing to the strap that went around her middle. “Then we’ll go for a ride.”
Angie buckled the straps around her middle with a smile. She had managed to get on a horse by herself. She was thrilled, excited, and just a little disappointed at missing a chance to be close to Jace. She would forever be grateful to the kind cowboy who had taken time from his own life to help her overcome her fear. She was one step closer to her dreams.
Jace handed Angie Ben’s reins then swung into the saddle of his waiting bay, turning toward a trail at the far end of the pasture. They would have to ride past the other grazing horses, but he wasn’t worried about that. His heart swelled with pride for the young woman who fell in beside him, and he smiled at her warmly.
“You’ve made headway here at the Broken J,” he smiled. “I’m glad I’ve had the privilege to be here to help. God must have planned it that way.” Jace’s bright smile was warmer than the sun shining above.
Angie blinked at the cowboy for several minutes. She had prayed only hours ago that God would help her achieve her dreams and goals. Had he sent a handsome cowboy her way for just that purpose? “Thank you,” she said unable to think of anything else as they settled into a quiet ride. It was going to be very hard to leave behind the Broken J Dude Ranch on this visit, and especially a very special man named Jace.
Chapter 14
“When do you leave?” Jace’s question was jarring in the quiet of the trail. The words had bubbled up and burst forth before he could stop them, and now thinking about it, he was glad they had.
“Thursday,” Angie admitted. It was Monday now, and though she had made great progress with her goals, it felt that she hadn’t been on the ranch long enough.
Jace twisted in the saddle as his horse stopped and looked at Angie. She sat tall and straight in the specialized saddle, her legs positioned perfectly by the unique stirrup arrangement that provided balance and security. “I’ll be sad to see you go.”
Angie felt a blush heat her face but she didn’t look away. “I’ll miss you too.”
Jace studied the young woman for a few moments then urged his horse forward. “You know we could connect online, and maybe I can help you with questions or whatever when you get back home.”
“That would be nice.” Angie realized that Jace was being kind, true to his nature, and was grateful. She was also sad. Something deep inside wished that he would be interested in her for who she was, not for the challenges he had helped her with. Still having her wrangler on tap wouldn’t be so bad, and she already thought of him as a friend.
“We’ll exchange information when we get back to the ranch,” Jace grinned. He might have to say so long to the pretty woman riding next to him, but he wouldn’t have to say goodbye, at least not yet. She probably had a boyfriend back home, or at least someone she was interested in. He would have to be content to be her friend and know that he had helped her move forward with her dreams.
A soft breeze ruffled his horse’s mane and he grinned. “Do you think you would be up to trotting?” he asked. “It’s a little bouncy, but you can hold on to the bars. Then if that works we could canter.”
Angie thought about it for a moment then nodded. “I’m willing to try,” she said determined to do her best. This was as close to a crash course in riding as she was ever going to get, and if she had any hope of overcoming her handicap in getting the job she knew she wanted, she had to try.
Jace took a few moments to help Angie adjust for the faster gait, explaining how
to hold on and what to expect then he clicked to his mount and broke into a trot.
Angie wrapped one hand over the bar on the saddle adjusting the reins in her other hand and centered her weight slightly forward then clicked to Ben who leapt forward after his stablemate, making Angie squeal with fright before laughing with glee. The pace was bouncy, but she found that between the strap around her middle and her hand steadying her on the saddle swells she was comfortable.
All too soon, Jace pulled his horse back to a walk and Ben followed suit.
“How was it?” Jace asked his eyes bright.
“Fine,” Angie grinned. “I was frightened for a second then everything smoothed out. “Can we canter now?”
Jace nodded and went through the process again explaining what to expect and how best to stay centered on Ben’s back. “Ready?”
“Ready?” Angie grinned, excitement bubbling in her chest.
A moment later, she was flying over the prairie to a smooth rhythmical beat of hooves. It was exhilarating, freeing, and fantastic.
Jace drew his mount into a trot then back to a walk letting Angie pull up next to him. He hadn’t wanted to tire her out on this first run, but he could see by her bright smile and flushed face that she had enjoyed it.
“Have fun?” he chuckled as her hand reached for his.
“It was amazing!” Angie enthused as her hand found his. “I’ve never experienced anything quite like it.” She giggled softly. “Michelle Ballard’s pony rides might have come close, but nothing like that.”
Jace leaned in drawn to the pretty woman who now clutched his hand. She tilted her face toward him and in the blink of an eye, his lips met hers in a sweet tender kiss.
