Holiday In the Hamptons
Page 27
A few minutes later, the car pulled away and Seth watched as they disappeared from view.
Everything felt different. Everything had changed. The sky looked bluer, the air felt fresher and his head, which had been enveloped in a cloud since the death of his father, felt clear for the first time in months.
When he glanced around the kitchen, the dark fog of memories had lifted.
And he knew who was responsible.
He turned to Fliss. “You sold my house.”
She stepped closer and put her hand on his arm. “Are you upset? You weren’t even sure you wanted to sell it.”
“Neither was I, but I am now. All those things you said to Todd made sense to me. I thought the memories were part of the house, and listening to you made me realize they’re part of me. And although I’ve lost him, I haven’t lost the memories or the legacy. I’ll always have that. Thank you for making me see it.” He felt her wrap her arms around him.
He wondered why other people didn’t immediately see her warmth and generosity.
He’d seen those eyes blaze with fierce determination when she’d stepped in front of her sister to defend her. He’d seen her step in front of her brother, too, no matter how big her opponent. But until today she’d never stepped in front of him.
“You were amazing. Bold, fearless, honest and right.” He turned to her, wondering how much to say. Was it too soon? “Do you know the best part about this?”
“That despite extreme provocation, I’m not up on a murder charge?”
He smiled. “The best part is that you did it for me.”
“You said you wanted to sell it. You need to sell it. I understand that, so I was trying to do everything I could to make it happen.”
“You defended me. Fought for me. You stepped in front.” He stroked his fingers across the line of her jaw. “You do that with people you care about. I’ve seen you do it with Daniel and with Harriet.”
There was a long silence, disturbed only by the call of a seagull and the rush of the ocean.
“I care about you.” She spoke softly. “I’ve always cared about you.”
There was so much he wanted to say, but he knew he had to take it slowly. “I always cared about you, too. Right from that first day when I saw you watching over Harriet on the beach. There was a girl teasing her about her stammer.”
“That happened a lot. And the teasing made poor Harriet worse. I don’t have much patience with bullies.”
“Or men who are addicted to their mobile phones, it seems.”
“Todd was a dumbass. I wanted to take his damn phone and shove it up his—”
“I think I can imagine where you wanted to shove it.” He tugged her against him. “Let’s go back to my place. I can pay your commission with dinner.”
“What if Todd doesn’t buy it?”
“Then you owe me. And I’ll be calling in the debt.”
She peeped at him from under her lashes. “I can think of a different way for you to pay me.”
“Felicity Knight, are you making an indecent suggestion?”
“Maybe. I’m trouble, didn’t you know?”
“I might have heard that about you. Why do you think I’m here?” He slid his hand behind her neck and lowered his head.
Their mouths collided, and he groaned and sank his fingers into her hair. It spilled over his hands, and he stroked his thumbs over the smooth lines of her jaw. He wanted to explore every delicate inch of her. He wanted to unpeel her shorts and that provocative tank top and discover all the things that had changed since the last time he’d touched her.
He felt her hands on his shirt, tugging, and then felt her palms slide up his spine.
Heat shot through him. He tasted the excitement on her lips and felt her press against him.
Another minute of this and they’d both be naked.
He eased away, wondering if he was crazy.
She was obviously wondering the same thing because she steadied herself and looked at him dizzily. “You’re stopping?”
“That’s right.”
“Why?” She slowly withdrew her hands, tugging his shirt down and taking a step back. “You’re still worried that my brain will stop working once we’re naked?”
“It’s a factor.” Although it was his brain he was worried about.
“You have too much willpower, Seth Carlyle. How did I ever manage to corrupt you the first time?”
“I wasn’t doing much thinking back then.” But he was doing plenty of thinking now.
He wanted her, right there and then, in this house that held a lifetime of memories, but he knew that was only the start of what he wanted. And he realized that what Vanessa didn’t understand was that he couldn’t fall in love with Fliss again, because he’d never fallen out of love.
He’d given her his heart at the age of twenty-two and he’d never taken it back.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
SHE WAS SILENT on the drive back to his house. Silent and desperately conscious of every movement he made. His hands on the wheel, the muscular length of his thigh close to hers. He was big and handsome, and keeping her hands to herself was proving as difficult as it had when she was a teenager.
She was starting to wish she hadn’t agreed to dinner. She certainly wasn’t going to be able to eat anything. The tension had created a tight knot in her stomach.
She felt like a teenager, her heart all fluttery and her palms damp.
How crazy was that?
She tried to keep her gaze fixed straight ahead, but somehow she found herself turning her head to look at him. His shirt was open at the neck, allowing her a tantalizing glimpse of his tanned throat.
“You’re quiet.”
“I’m okay.”
“Fliss—”
“All right, I’m not okay. I don’t know if sexual frustration counts as a medical condition, but if it does I have an advanced case of it. You don’t want us to focus on the sex, and that’s just fine in theory, I get it, I really do, the principle I mean, not the sex, obviously I’m not getting the sex—”
“I think—”
“Let me finish! I’m struggling to get my words out here. All I’m saying is that I’ve reached the stage where the sex is getting in the way because it’s all I can think about. And it’s making me crazy.” She closed her eyes. “Forget dinner. I think you’d better take me home. I’ll take a cold shower. Watch a nature program on TV.”
“You want to watch a nature program?”
“No, but I don’t think I’m going to be safe around you. I feel a ‘bad Fliss’ moment coming on. You don’t want to be near me when that happens.”
“Or maybe I do.”
He swerved into his drive, sending loose stones flying. Seconds after he turned off the ignition, he grabbed her and yanked her up against him.
The look in his eyes made her heart pound.
“I thought you didn’t want this.”
“I want this. I was showing restraint.”
“Restraint is overrated.” Her hands tore at his shirt, clumsy in her haste. “Seth, I really want—”
“Me, too, so quit talking and let’s get inside. Whatever other sins we committed in the past, or may commit in the future, I don’t want one of them to be having sex on the front porch in front of all my neighbors.”
They stumbled out of the car, and somehow he opened the front door of his house. They all but fell through it and then he was kissing her, opening her mouth with his. She felt the erotic slide of his tongue against hers, and it felt so sinfully good she wondered how she could have survived so long without this.
Why had it never been like this with anyone else?
Why had no other man ever made her feel this way?
Still kissing her, he pushed her back against the wall and kicked the door shut. He pinned her there, trapping her legs between his and caging her with his arms, and she gave a shiver of excitement because whatever she’d started it was clear he intended to finish it.
Her panties hit the floor. Her bra followed.
She fumbled with the buttons of his shirt and opened it.
She’d seen him on the beach, in board shorts and in even less, but she couldn’t get enough of looking at him.
Her body remembered his, remembered the feel and the taste. She knew every inch of him, but recognized the changes. His shoulders were broader, his muscles more clearly defined. He was strong, steady and sure of himself.
Years of separation fueled their desperation. They ripped off the rest of each other’s clothes, although Seth paused long enough to grab something from the pocket of his jeans. Haste made them clumsy and Fliss murmured a protest, and then he was lifting her, his hands hard on her thighs as he pressed her back. Desire was so intense it was almost suffocating. She wrapped her legs around him and cried out as he drove into her, the sound a mix of shock and pleasure as she felt her body yield to the thickness of him. She was engulfed in a storm of sensation, each upward thrust sending her senses spinning. She felt crazily out of control, dizzy with it, and gripped the muscles of his arms, trying to hold on to something as her body yielded to his demands. But whatever he took, he gave back a thousandfold until she was shivery and helpless.
She’d never known excitement like it, and she wondered if there would ever be a time when the chemistry between them calmed to something more serene and gentle. Right now the excitement was savage and urgent, a cascade of erotic sensations that built and built until she felt herself tip over the edge. Her body shuddered against his, and he captured her cry of pleasure with his mouth as he hit the same peak.
It was a long time before either of them moved. She stayed where she was, her forehead resting on his shoulder.
Finally he lowered her to the floor. Still holding her with one hand, he slid the fingers of his other hand under her chin and lifted her face to his. She gazed up at him, dazed, wondering how a look could feel more intimate than what they’d already shared.
His hand slid behind her neck, cradling her head while his thumb gently stroked her cheek. “Are you all right?” His voice was soft, his gaze intensely personal.
“I’m not sure. Best not to let go of me for a minute.”
“I was holding back.”
“Really? I didn’t notice.” She was glad she was trapped between him and the wall because she wasn’t sure her legs would have held her without help.
“I meant, I was trying to postpone this happening.”
“I know. And this might be a good time to tell you I question your reasoning.”
“I had a master plan. First we were going to date. I was going to get you talking to me. Persuade you to share.”
“We dated. We talked. I’ve shared.” More than she ever had with anyone else. Thinking about it was more than a little terrifying. “Then what?”
“I was going to take it to the next stage. And before you ask me, I hadn’t exactly figured that out, but it was going to be romantic. It wasn’t going to be sex against the wall before you’d barely made it through the door.”
“It worked for me.” She could have stared at him all night and all day. The Poker Princesses were right. He had incredible eyelashes. “Tell me more about your plans for romantic.”
“I hadn’t got as far as making firm plans, but they definitely involved a comfortable bed.”
“The wall seemed to work perfectly well.” Although she was only now realizing that parts of her ached. “Maybe we could go for a more comfortable option next time.”
He smoothed her hair back from her face. “Did I hurt you? Because I swear I heard something crunch when we hit the wall.”
“That was my willpower.” She lifted her head, viewing him from between the tangled strands of her hair. “Now maybe I can stop thinking about sex and focus on all the other stuff you want us to focus on.”
“You think that’s going to work?”
“Sure. In time. Once all the hot stuff has cooled. Of course, that might take a while.” She tested her legs, surprised to discover that they seemed able to hold her. “You used a condom. It seems at least one of us has learned our lesson from last time. Do you always carry that with you?” She asked the question casually, and he tugged her back to look at him.
“You think I’m prepared to have sex with every woman I meet?”
“I don’t know. It seems as if every woman you meet thinks you’re cute, so I guess it’s good to be prepared.” After what had happened between them she couldn’t blame him, and she hated herself for asking the question as much as for the insecurity behind it. “I’m sorry, it’s none of my business.”
“It’s definitely your business.” His eyes darkened. “And the answer is I’m prepared, and careful, but only since you moved here. Before that I generally managed to get through my working day without jumping on women.”
His words left her with a warm glow. “You’re saying it’s just me that has this effect on you?”
“Seems that way.”
She stroked her hand over his shoulders, feeling taut muscle under her fingers. “We could try this again. Your way.”
He glanced sideways. “Lulu is wearing your bra.”
“Do you think we shocked her?”
“Nothing shocks Lulu.” He turned his attention back to Fliss, kissed her slowly and thoroughly and then eased away. “Let’s go upstairs.”
“I think I might have dropped my tank top on your doorstep.”
“It will be a deterrent for visitors.” He scooped her up, and she gasped.
“What are you doing?”
“I don’t want to have sex on the stairs, and that’s what will happen if you walk up the stairs in front of me.”
They made it upstairs, stumbling and laughing, and fell onto his bed, their bodies lit by moonlight.
He touched her with skilled, practiced hands, every move slow and drawn out, designed to pull maximum pleasure from the moment. It was agonizingly intimate and totally different from anything they’d shared before.
The darkness was filled with soft sounds and low murmurs. He wanted and demanded everything, and she gave him all that and more, and when she finally reached the peak she was afraid she might shatter.
Afterward they lay there, close, eyes locked, her legs trapped by his.
He ran the pad of his thumb over her forehead. “I’d forgotten your scar. You never did tell me how you got it.”
She shrugged. “Fell into a tree.”
“Yeah? Because you seem pretty competent walking around whenever I watch you. And lately I watch you a lot.”
“I was fighting.”
“Why were you fighting?”
“It felt like more fun than doing a boring English assignment.” She saw the look in his eyes and sighed. It was typical of him to know there would have been a reason. He looked for good in people. It was part of the man he was. “Someone was mean to Harriet.”
“So you leaped in and defended your sister.”
“His name was Johnny Hill. He was captain of the football team and a real bully. He made her cry. No on
e makes my sister cry.”
“So you were stepping in front of her, the way you did with me this evening.”
It was true, and it made her realize that she was in deep. It made her stomach lurch to contemplate how deep. If there had been a life preserver handy she would have grabbed it. “So what if I did?”
He slid his hand behind her neck and took her mouth. “You care.”
“Maybe I do.” Admitting it felt scary. Admitting it meant stripping away armor and making yourself vulnerable.
“And you care about your sister. You care enough to protect her.” His fingertips gently traced her scar. “I think that makes you Good Girl Fliss.”
“The school didn’t think so. I was suspended for a while, which meant I couldn’t watch out for Harriet. I was more careful after that.” She changed the subject, preferring not to dwell on what was happening with her feelings.
“No more fights?”
“I kept them off the school premises.” She turned on her side, her hand on his chest. “Now it’s your turn. Show me your scars, Carlyle.”
“I don’t have scars. At least, not on the outside.”
“And on the inside?” She felt his hand stroke her hair.
“I never stopped thinking about you, Fliss. You’ve always kept a piece of my heart.”
His words stole her breath and sliced through her. It made her think about all the time they’d lost and what might have been. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I hurt you, too. We both made mistakes. I think it’s called being human.”
“I should have said more. Opened up more.”
“When a person has spent their whole life putting up barriers, it’s difficult to trust people enough to lower them.”
And suddenly it seemed important to make him understand.
She eased out of his arms and sat up. “My dad knew exactly how to control people. He understood their weaknesses and he used them. He wanted to hurt. Pretty early on I realized that, and I was determined never to let him see that he’d hurt me. The more indifferent I was, the worse he became.” She shook her head. “Maybe I should have crumpled at the first insult, but there was no way I was doing that. He preyed on weakness. On vulnerability. The only way to survive him was to never let myself be vulnerable. So I hid. Not like Harriet, who hid under the table or in her bedroom, I hid inside myself. I built these walls. I even used to imagine I was in a castle and the enemy was coming. I’d pull up the drawbridge and they’d be trapped outside. That’s how I used to picture my dad.”