My Secret Boyfriend

by Lurlene McDaniel

  “It’s got to be over soon,” she told herself. Soon Ryan’s mother would find an apartment and they would move. Then Jordan could resume a normal life and no one would ever have to know.

  Twelve

  “I think we should have a party to celebrate making it through the first half of the school year,” Jordan announced to her newspaper staff after they had finished the January edition.

  “Sounds good to me,” Laurie said.

  “What have you got in mind?” asked Ken, a reporter assigned to cover seventh-grade activities.

  “I’m open to suggestions.”

  Then Carmen spoke up. “It just so happens that I’m in the middle of planning my birthday party for next Saturday. I’m sending out the invitations tomorrow. Maybe we could make it one big blowout.”

  “Oh, I was thinking of something for just our staff. We don’t want to horn in on your birthday party.”

  “Why not?” Carmen asked. “My parents have already reserved time at a ranch nearby. There’ll be music and dancing, food and goodies, and even a hayride once the sun goes down.”

  “Just a small get-together?” Jordan asked with a teasing hint in her tone.

  “Well, you know how I like a good party.” Carmen shrugged sheepishly.

  “Don’t be a drag, Jordan,” Jennifer interrupted, her green eyes gleaming over the idea of a party.

  Jordan frowned at her. “But what’s it have to do with us working together on the newspaper?”

  “Well, we could do something special before all the other kids arrive,” Carmen suggested helpfully.

  Jordan thought about Carmen’s suggestion. “Like what?”

  “How about horseback-riding? You all can come early enough to go out on the trail and have a picnic. Then we can ride back in time to meet kids as they show up.”

  “I like the idea,” Laurie said eagerly. “Can we bring our boyfriends?”

  Jordan stiffened. “I was hoping we could just be together as a staff . . .”

  “Why?” Jennifer asked, wrinkling her nose. “Good grief, we see each other almost every day. I’d rather take a romantic trail ride anytime.”

  “I agree with Jennifer,” Laurie said.

  Jordan knew she was out-voted.

  Everybody but her wanted to bring someone else along. But if she brought Ryan, she’d have to pretend that they were an item without letting on to Ryan. Could she do it one more time? “All right,” she finally agreed. “But let’s keep the numbers down. This is supposed to be a staff party. Not a free-for-all.

  But in spite of what Jordan had said, the entire staff invited friends to come along, and Jordan invited Ryan. The whole crowd was standing outside the barn while ranch hands saddled up their mounts. The weather had turned unseasonably warm. The sun shone, but the air still held a bit of a chill. Jordan took off her denim jacket and tied the sleeves around her waist.

  “Ryan, I love your boots and hat. Are they new?” The way Jennifer cooed the words made Jordan roll her eyes in disgust.

  “Yeah, I got them just for today. If I’m going to be a Texan, I thought I’d better look the part.” His blue eyes danced as he looked at Jennifer.

  Jordan tugged on Ryan’s arm. “Let’s go riding, partner.” Ryan grinned at Jordan, and Jennifer frowned. Why can’t she stick with her date? Jordan thought. Poor Scott. Why had Jennifer dragged him along in the first place if all she was going to do was flirt with other guys?

  Jordan swung onto a pinto that had soft brown eyes. Ryan mounted a bay, and together they trotted toward a trail that led away from the ranch and into vast, open plains. The sky was a hazy blue and the horizon was broken occasionally by mesquite trees and cacti. Jordan plodded along on her horse behind Ryan, inhaling the fresh air.

  “What do you think?” she asked Ryan, indicating the land around her.

  “It’s different,” he said. “And so flat. I’ve never seen land so flat.”

  “I guess it is different from the Rockies,” Jennifer mused.

  “The Rockies?” Ryan asked.

  Jordan nudged her horse alongside his. In a loud voice she said, “Not as different as Washington, D.C., huh, Ryan?”

  “That’s right. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how few trees there are out west.”

  “Who needs trees?” Jennifer quipped. “Give me the wide open spaces any day.”

  Then Jordan asked Ryan softly, “Are you homesick?” Her face showed concern.

  A small smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “Not really. I’m getting used to this lifestyle. I sort of like living here. It’s different, but fun.”

  Jordan purposely slowed her horse, widening the distance between the two of them and Jennifer and Scott. “How’s your mother’s apartment-hunting going?”

  “I think she found a place,” Ryan said, turning to look Jordan full in the face.

  “Where?” Jordan asked, trying to sound casual.

  “Across town.”

  ‘Not in our school district?”

  “No.” He shook his head and a thatch of blond hair fell across his brow.

  “Too bad,” Jordan said. Part of her was relieved, but the other part of her would miss him.

  “Maybe not.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, my mom’s asked your mom if I could stay at your house until school’s out for the year. That way I wouldn’t have to change school’s again and I could finish up the basketball season. Who knows”—his grin flashed boyish and dimpled and he tipped the brim of his hat upward—“I might even go out for the baseball team. I practice enough with Jamey.

  “I’ll bet I could impress the coach enough to let me give it a try.”

  “Won’t you miss your mom?” Jordan asked.

  “Oh, I’ll go stay with her on the weekends. I’ll live at your house during the weekdays while she’s working.”

  “Gee—that’d be terrific,” she said weakly.

  “Yeah,” he said, his grin widening. “Do you think you could stand having me around until school’s out?”

  “No problem,” her voice said. But her palms began to sweat. School wasn’t out for months! Could she keep her secret that much longer?

  “Hey, slowpokes! You’d better catch up!”

  Jennifer’s voice grated on Jordan’s eardrums, but she glanced toward the sound and realized that she and Ryan had fallen far behind. “We’re coming!” Jordan shouted back.

  “Yeah,” Ryan added. “Hold your horses.”

  The rest of the group thought his pun was so funny that they broke into laughter. Ryan clicked his tongue and urged his horse forward where he fell in beside Jennifer. She turned her most brilliant smile on him. Jordan could only watch helplessly as Jennifer bombarded him with questions, giggling and flirting for the rest of the ride.

  The group stopped at a rock formation where they decided to eat their picnic lunch. The newspaper staff party wasn’t at all as Jordan had planned it. There were so many outsiders that she hardly felt it was special for her staff at all. But at least the food was good.

  Jordan was chewing a mouthful of fried chicken when Laurie sauntered over and crouched down beside her. Laurie whispered, “Doesn’t it bother you that Jennifer is flirting with Ryan?”

  Jordan stopped mid-chew. “Uh . . . what do you mean?”

  “Oh, come on! Jennifer’s been flirting with him the whole ride. Scott looks like a puppy who’s been left out in ther rain.”

  Jordan sighed deeply. “I’m not letting her bug me,” Jordan said with a casual flip of her hand. “Don’t worry about it, Laurie. It’s no big deal.” But Jordan was relieved when the picnic was over and they rode back for the birthday party. At the ranch, they danced and shared an enormous birthday cake with the rest of Carmen’s guests.

  The stars were beginning to appear when two flatbed trucks rolled up, each heaped with mounds of fresh hay. Hoping to separate herself from Jennifer, Jordan scrambled aboard the first one, dragging Ryan behind her. But although the t
ruck filled up quickly, Jennifer managed to climb onto the same one and settle uncomfortably close to Ryan. Jordan sighed. She hoped that her friends wouldn’t expect Ryan to cuddle with her as Laurie was doing with Wade. Jordan hoped she could survive the evening without anyone becoming suspicious of the truth about her and Ryan’s real relationship.

  Jordan snuggled deep into the hay, inhaling its sweet, dry fragrance. Beside her, Ryan nibbled on one long straw. “What do horses see in this stuff?” he asked.

  Jordan giggled. Jennifer leaned over, resting her hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “Isn’t it romantic under the stars?”

  Jordan felt panic sweep through her. She certainly didn’t need a conversation about romance! And she didn’t need Jennifer flapping her lips and eyes at Ryan all evening.

  Thinking quickly, she grabbed a handful of hay and thrust it down the front of Ryan’s shirt.

  “Hey!” He yelped, grabbing at the front of his shirt wildly.

  “Hay, yourself!” she called back, tossing a wad of hay directly into his face.

  “This is war!” he cried.

  In moments everyone in the entire back of the truck was hurling hay at each other. Jordan twisted as Ryan shoved the scratchy hay down her back. She shrieked and rolled, bumping into Jennifer, who’d attempted stay out of the way. Jennifer fell forward into an unladylike heap. She came up sputtering, spitting out mouthfuls of hay.

  By now the hay fight had extended to the second truck and clumps of the dried hay were flying between groups. Soon there was more hay on the ground than on the truck. When the commotion finally died down, Jordan was weak from laughing and struggling. She lay back in exhaustion.

  She watched Ryan crawl over to Scott and several other members of the basketball team to talk. And although quiet descended slowly on the trucks, the romantic mood of the night had been broken. Jordan was relieved. In the moonlight, she saw a pouting, sulking expression on Jennifer’s face. Tufts of hay stuck every which way from her unkempt hair. The front of her shirt was smudged with dirt. Tough, Jordan thought. It didn’t matter that Jennifer was miffed. What mattered to Jordan was that she had gotten away with playing Ryan’s girlfriend one more time. Now all she had to do was make it until the end of the school year and she’d be safe.

  Thirteen

  “Boy, that Jennifer makes me so mad! How dare she flirt like she did with Ryan at Carmen’s party? Who does she think she is anyway?”

  Laurie and Jordan had paused at Laurie’s locker on their way to the bus stop. “Calm down,” Jordan urged, watching her friend fumble with the combination lock.

  “Calm down? How can you say that? How can you be so calm after the way Jennifer hung all over your boyfriend?”

  Jordan looked away from Laurie. “That’s just the way Jennifer is. No harm done.”

  Laurie shook her head in disbelief “I don’t understand you, Jordan Starling. Even if it is the way Jennifer is, she has no right to try to steal your boyfriend right out from under your nose.”

  Jordan couldn’t think of anything to say.

  She just squirmed. “And besides,” Laurie fumed. “Ryan Elliot isn’t all that innocent in this matter either. I don’t think much of the way he acted around Jennifer. And with you right there by his side! That took real nerve.”

  Why can’t people stay out of my business? Jordan thought. “Look, I’m willing to forget the whole evening. It was just one of those things, so let’s forget it,” she said.

  Laurie removed her books, slammed her locker, and started back down the hall. Jordan hurried to catch up with her. “You’re being too nice, Jordan,” Laurie said. “Both of them are dirty rats in my book.”

  “Both of them?” Laurie hit the outside door and Jordan chased behind her into the weak January sunlight. “What do you mean, ‘both of them’?”

  “What kind of game is Ryan playing with you, anyway? You take him in, you help him get acquainted with all your friends, you make sure that he’s happy, and then bam!” Laurie smacked her fist into her palm, juggling her books in the movement. “He dumps you and chases after another girl. Some boyfriend!” Her tone turned sarcastic.

  It’s not Ryan’s fault! Jordan thought to herself. He has no idea he’s supposed to be loyal to me! Aloud she said, “I wish you wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Besides, Ryan’s mother’s found an apartment and it’s in another school district.”

  “Is he moving?”

  “Maybe,” Jordan said.

  Laurie slowed down her steps. “You’re too, much, Jordan,” Laurie said. “If Wade had treated me that way, I’d be furious!”

  “I—I just don’t feel that way. If he really cares about me, he’ll come back. I don’t have to act hurt and jealous.”

  “Boy, are you dumb!” Laurie snorted.

  “I am not.”

  “Fact number one,” Laurie said. “Girls flirt. Fact number two, boys love to be flirted with. Fact number three, if you don’t fight for what’s yours, you’ll lose it.”

  “All right,” Jordan conceded. “I agree with your first two points. But I think that if you really care about somebody, you won’t smother him. I think it’s okay to give a person lots of space.”

  “Well, Ryan certainly has space all right,” Laurie said grimly. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared straight ahead.

  Jordan followed her grim gaze. Ahead in the distance were Jennifer and Ryan. They were walking slowly, holding hands. Jordan swallowed hard. Now what should she say?

  Laurie touched Jordan’s shoulder and Jordan stared into her best friend’s blue eyes. “They’re creeps,” Laurie said. “Well, I promise you, Jordan, they won’t get away with it.” Jordan’s pulse was pounding, but she couldn’t think of anything to say. Then Laurie continued. “I won’t let them get away with it. Not for one minute. Ryan can’t just dump you because Jennifer batted her eyes at him. We’ll fix them, Jordan. I promise.”

  Fix them? How was Laurie going to fix them? Jordan’s hands turned icy. Suddenly it was as if she were living in a house of cards and a giant hand had sent the cards tumbling down around her. And there was nothing she could do about it, absolutely nothing. She mumbled good-bye to Laurie and stumbled on to the bus stop. Somehow, in spite of the sun and heat, Jordan felt cold—cold and scared.

  The remainder of the week was a nightmare. Everywhere she went at school, Jordan could tell kids were talking about her.

  Jennifer was home with the flu, so she missed the week of gossip. Ryan wasn’t so lucky. Most people shut him out because they were on Jordan’s side. Kids turned from him in the halls. They spoke only if he spoke to them.

  Jordan begged off jogging with Ryan each evening, keeping to herself in her room. She told him that she had a term paper to write. But the truth was, she couldn’t bear to face him. Her friends meant well. But they were hurting him and it was her fault! She was lounging in bed the next Saturday, trying to decide whether to get up and face a miserable day of side-stepping Ryan or to stay put and avoid him. Sunshine shone through her window. Her clock radio played softly in the background. It would have been a perfect day. If only. . . A soft knock sounded on her door.

  “Jordan?” Ryan’s voice came through the door. “Jordan, are you awake?”

  “Uh—sure.”

  “Can I talk to you?”

  “Just a minute. I’ll be right out.” Quickly she tugged on jeans and a shirt and brushed her hair. Then she took a deep breath and opened the door. She headed for the top step of the landing where he was waiting for her.

  “What’s up?” she asked Ryan, sitting on the step beside him.

  Ryan ran his hand through his hair. “Uh—Jordan, . . . can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.” She wondered if Ryan could hear her heart pounding.

  “Have I got bad breath or something?”

  Jordan smiled. “Of course not. Why would you think something like that?”

  “It’s just the way everyone’s treating me at school. Like I’ve suddenly sproute
d two heads. Or gotten some sort of contagious disease.”

  “You’re just imagining it. Everybody likes you.”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m not. Especially Wade and Laurie. They hardly speak to me anymore. I’ve thought and thought about it, but I can’t figure out why.”

  Ryan thrust his hands into the pockets of his jeans and heaved a sigh. Jordan clenched he own fists, wishing she could erase everything she’d done. “Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing. Wade and Laurie live in their own world most of the time anyway. Just act natural.”

  “I don’t know. . .” His voice trailed. “I was just starting to feel like I belonged and then this happens.”

  “You do belong here,” she said with conviction. “Just keep being yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

  “Positive?” For a moment, he looked hopeful.

  “Positive,” Jordan said, smiling.

  He attempted a smile. She almost cringed with guilt. “Maybe things will be better by Monday,” he said. “We have a game and I’m in the starting lineup.”

  “I’ll be there to cheer.”

  “Thanks.” He got up to leave. “And Jordan,” he added, “thanks for being my friend. It really helps.”

  He left the landing, and she went back to her room and threw herself across her bed. Now she’d told another lie. She’d lied to him about what was happening at school. “What can I do?” she mumbled into her pillow. “How can I help him?”

  She knew the answer, of course. But it was so frightening to her that she couldn’t bear to think about it. Jordan leaped off her bed and paced the floor. She paused in front of her dresser mirror and looked at her reflection with a long, questioning stare.

  Tell him the truth, her reflection urged. He deserves to know the truth.

  “I can’t,” she whispered back. “What would everyone think of me?”

  Fourteen

  “Laurie , please stop being mean to Ryan. And please tell the other kids to stop, too.” Jordan’s words to her friend came in spurts.