The Scoop

by Fern Michaels

  There! She’d said it.

  Mavis took a deep breath and nodded. “I know. I almost backed out because I thought I wouldn’t be able to fit in the seat on the plane. They had to give me a seat-belt extender. I was so embarrassed. I just can’t seem to get a grip on my eating habits. First it’s one ice cream, then a couple of donuts, and from there it escalated to two and three bags of chips a day.” Mavis looked down. “And you see where it’s got me.”

  Toots’s eyes filled with tears over her friend’s dilemma, if you could call being a hundred pounds overweight a dilemma. It was more like a heart attack waiting to happen. “If you want to lose weight, you know I’ll help out any way I can.” Toots wasn’t about to tell her she already had a plan in mind. She’d need Sophie’s and Ida’s help to keep Mavis out of the refrigerator and on the treadmill.

  “Then I’ll accept whatever help you’re offering. It’s just me and Coco. As you can see, she’s tiny, doesn’t require a lot of exercise or food. Most days I sit in my Barcalounger with her at my side. I watch the soaps, and Coco scrambles after my crumbs. I haven’t had the money to buy her decent dog food in ages. I figured what went in my gut was good enough for her, too, but then I see the way I look, and I just want to curl up and die. Then I’ll think of Coco and Abby and you girls, I’ll eat salads for a week, then little by little I slide back into my old routine.”

  “Mavis, I should kick your butt! Why didn’t you tell me things were that rough? You know I’ve got millions. No, make that billions. I’ll never live long enough to spend all that money.”

  “You do enough, Toots. Thanks to you, I have a live Christmas tree delivered every year and beautifully decorated packages to place beneath it. Plus all the other stuff you do, like that laptop computer you sent me. I know you paid off my mortgage, too, so don’t insult me by lying.”

  True, Toots thought, but she hadn’t seen any reason to shout it to the world. Mavis knew, and that’s all that mattered. She knew there was a pride issue, too. Mavis didn’t like accepting charity, so she’d simply done what she felt Mavis would allow without kicking up her heels. Had she known things were as bad as they were, though, she would have done more, much more. That was about to change. She’d call Henry Whitmore, her old friend and president at the Bank of Charleston, and set up an account for Mavis. And if Mavis didn’t like it, too bad. Eventually she’d get over it.

  Things are about to change, Mavis Hanover, and if you don’t like it, well, to quote Bernice, “you can just kiss my wrinkled old ass.”

  Toots spied a sports lounge close to the exit gates. Flat-screen television sets were suspended from the ceiling, each tuned to a different sports network. Loud guffaws from a group of men filled the small lounge as the women found a three-seater booth close to the exit.

  The two women slid into the soft leather booth, placing Coco’s carrier next to Toots since Mavis’s bulk took up most of her seat. A waitress wearing a hot-pink shirt, black shorts, and a name tag that read TAMMY came to take their order. “We’ll each have a bottle of sparkling water with a twist of lime.”

  “Nothin’ to eat?” the waitress asked in a distinct Charleston drawl. Toots wondered if she was old enough to drink legally, let alone serve alcohol. Several bangle bracelets clinked against one another as she wrote their order on a pad. The girl had at least five earrings in each ear, along with other piercings.

  Toots looked at Mavis, who was practically salivating. “Yes, we’ll have two tossed salads, no dressing, with extra lemon on the side.”

  “I guess this means I’m on a diet now?”

  “Yep, but it won’t be that hard really. I’m a vegan, and I’m rarely hungry.” Toots wasn’t about to mention her sugar addiction.

  “If you say so,” Mavis acquiesced.

  They spent the next half hour catching up and reminiscing.

  “Remember when Ida’s ‘tits’ fell out of her prom dress?” Mavis said. “I thought she’d never come out of hiding after that episode.”

  Toots smiled at the memory. “I think I would’ve done the same thing. Her being prom queen and all. Having the pair of rolled-up socks stuffed in your bra fall to the floor during the coronation isn’t the most pleasant memory. It was funny, though. Sophie peed in her pants, she laughed so hard. We never shared that with Ida. We were full of fire, weren’t we?”

  “That we were,” Mavis agreed.

  “I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything in the world.” Maybe a few, but she’d keep those to herself.

  “It’s amazing after all these years that we’re still friends. I can’t imagine my life without you girls. Abby, too. Lord, if it weren’t for her, I don’t know if we would’ve remained as close. Since the rest of us never had children.”

  “We all went our own way, that’s true. Isn’t e-mail great? I can just imagine what our phone bills would be without it. It’s just so darn instant,” Toots exclaimed in amazement.

  “I get e-mails from some of my former students. Actually, one of them is running for state senator. I can’t wait to see if she’s elected.”

  “For your sake, I hope she is. And I hope she’ll acknowledge what a fantastic English teacher you were.”

  Mavis laughed. “I don’t know about that, but it would certainly do my old heart good to see someone I had a bit of a hand in molding making it to the state senate. Lord knows what’s in there now isn’t doing me much good. I keep fearing my Medicare will get cut, and then where would I be?”

  Toots reached across the table, placing her hand on top of Mavis’s. “You’ll never have to worry about anything if it comes to that, so don’t concern yourself over it.”

  Bracelets jingling against the background noise coming from the televisions and the group of rowdy drinkers at the bar, Tammy returned with the check.

  Toots removed a twenty-dollar bill from her wallet and placed it inside the leather check holder. She smiled at the young waitress before glancing at the diamond watch on her wrist. “Sophie’s flight is due to arrive any minute. I think I’ll run and check the boards just to make sure. I wouldn’t want her roaming around thinking I’ve forgotten her. Why don’t you order coffee or tea and wait here. There’s no need for you to lug Coco and her carrier through the airport.” Toots thought that was a rather nice way of saying her friend was just too heavy to walk through the airport without a hassle.

  “Sounds good, even though I’d rather have that milk shake.”

  “Don’t you dare! Now sit here and enjoy the scenery. I’ll be right back.”

  “If you insist,” Mavis replied with a smile. “Don’t worry, I promise not to sneak.”

  “Good.” Toots pulled another twenty out of her wallet. “For the coffee.”

  In reality, Toots wanted to prepare Sophie for Mavis’s bulk so she wouldn’t be as shocked as she herself had been when she’d seen her struggling to walk the short distance from the gate to the arrival area.

  As Toots raced to greet Sophie, she couldn’t recall being this happy. Her friends were there, and they needed her, or at least Mavis did.

  At this precise moment, all was right with the world.

  Until she saw Sophie emerging from the masses exiting the plane.

  Lord! She had her work cut out for her. And to think she was going to be managing a newspaper on top of everything else. Maybe.

  “Tootsie!” Sophie hollered, using the pet name that only she was allowed to use.

  Once again Toots plastered a big smile on her face. “Sophie Manchester, if you aren’t a sight for sore eyes!” Toots wrapped her arms around Sophie’s bony frame. She couldn’t weigh a hair over ninety pounds, if that. Mavis was obese, and poor Sophie looked and felt like a skeleton with a layer of skin stretched around it.

  “You look stunning,” Sophie said. “Of course you always do. So where’s Mavis? You said she was arriving before the rest of us.”

  Without mentioning Sophie’s weight, or lack thereof, Toots was momentarily at a loss for words. How coul
d she tell one friend that the other looked like Two-Ton Tessie while Sophie looked like a Starving Scrawny Sue?

  “She’s waiting in the lounge,” was the best she could come up with.

  “I can’t wait to see her; it’s been ages. Thank God for the Internet; otherwise, I’d be completely out of the loop. With Walter on the brink of death, it’s the only link I have to the real world. You would think that old fossil would’ve kicked the bucket by now. But no, he’s too damned ornery to die. Every day I wake up—and I hope he doesn’t.”

  Toots wanted to tell her that was a terrible thing to say, but she alone knew what Walter had put Sophie through. As far as Toots was concerned, the old fossil had lingered on way too long, but she wasn’t going to voice her opinion at the moment.

  “Maybe he’ll perish while you’re gone,” Toots said.

  “Perish?” Sophie laughed. “I want the old poop to die. D-I-E,” she spelled the letters out. “Perish sounds too good for him.”

  “How did Walter react when you told him you were leaving?” Toots had kept her promise and arranged for a nurse to stay with Sophie’s husband twenty-four/seven. Sophie had yet to tell her of Walter’s reaction.

  “You really want to know? I didn’t even tell him I was leaving. I figured if he was nervous or scared—if Walter even knows what that feels like—I thought maybe once he discovered I flew the coop, it would speed things up. Like massive heart failure or something.”

  Toots couldn’t help but laugh. Walter was a mean old man.

  “Speaking of heart failure. Mavis is heavier than she’s ever been, so don’t be shocked when you see her. Act normal. I told her she was going on a diet while she’s here. She agreed, but something tells me it isn’t going to be easy for her. I’ve got more things in the works for her, like a good checkup, so don’t say anything about her weight unless she brings it up first. She’s got this adorable yacker of a dog. Focus on the dog.”

  Briefly, Toots wondered if she could feed Sophie Mavis’s leftovers. Kill two birds with one stone type of thing. She’d think of something to help Sophie put on a few pounds. Sophie had always been the prettiest of the four. Thick, shiny black hair with almond brown eyes. She’d had a figure to die for, too. Now all she had to do was figure out a tasteful way to get Mavis to stop stuffing and a way to get Sophie to start stuffing. She smiled at the thought.

  They retrieved Sophie’s four suitcases from the luggage carousel. Toots was glad she’d driven the Range Rover instead of the Town Car.

  Toots pulled the largest of the two bags behind her while Sophie wrestled with two smaller pieces.

  “Here.” Toots directed her gaze to the lounge. “Now, remember, not a word about her weight.”

  Toots skillfully maneuvered their way through the throngs of travelers, hearing scattered bits of varied conversations in dozens of languages as they made their way to the lounge. The group of loud men at the bar had been replaced by a group of women who were just as loud, if not more so. Amidst the chatter, Toots led Sophie to the booth where Mavis and Coco waited.

  Sophie hid her surprise at Mavis’s appearance, but Mavis didn’t bother to restrain herself.

  “Girl, you look like a stick! Do you ever eat?”

  They hugged and air-kissed before Sophie answered, “Yes, I do but not enough. I’m so busy taking care of that old goat, I don’t have time to eat.” Sophie raked her gaze over Mavis’s bulk. “From the looks of you, I can see food or lack of is not an issue with you.”

  “Sophie!” Toots admonished.

  “It’s okay, Toots, I know I’m fat and need to lose all this blubber. Maybe Sophie can teach me a thing or two.”

  “I never thought our roles would be reversed. Remember when I went through my fat phase our junior year? I didn’t think I’d ever lose those extra thirty pounds. It’s not easy to lose, especially at our age,” Sophie said as she pulled a chair up to the end of the booth.

  “Don’t discourage me, Sophie. I just promised Toots I’d go on a diet. I don’t know if I’m up for this or not, but I sure as hell am going to go for the gusto.” Mavis eyed the next table in front of her as the waitress delivered a heaping plate of french fries with crumbled bacon and melted cheese piled on top. “If it doesn’t work, I’ll just die fat and happy!”

  “Like hell you will! Tell me you don’t remember all those nightly jogs we took through the park? If memory serves me correctly, Mavis dear, you were the skinny little shit that ran alongside me encouraging me, reminding me that Billy Bledsoe wasn’t worth all those late-night binges,” Sophie recalled.

  “I do remember that. I was skinny, too. Well, I don’t know if I’ll ever get as thin as I was back in high school, but I wouldn’t mind losing some of this fat. It’s so uncomfortable at times, I want to take a knife and slice it off!”

  “Lose the weight, and I’ll check into reconstructive surgery if you’re healthy enough, that is, if you want it,” Toots volunteered.

  Mavis shook her head. “Don’t know that I’d go that far, but it’s something to consider. Just promise me one thing? The both of you.” Mavis looked at Toots, then Sophie.

  “Anything,” Toots said.

  “Whatever you want,” Sophie added.

  “Whatever you do, keep the ice cream, potato chips, cakes, and pies out of the house. I don’t know if I could resist if I saw a pint of Cherry Garcia. Those four things are what got me in this mess.”

  “I’ll make sure there’s nothing in the fridge to tempt you. Now”—Toots glanced at her watch again—“I’d better go see if Ida’s flight arrived. She’ll be pissed to the teeth if I’m not there to greet her and roll out the red carpet.” She rummaged through her purse, thrust another twenty on the table, then gave her car keys to Sophie.

  “Take these to the valet and wait for us there. Ida and I might need a few minutes alone.”

  “I can’t believe she’s still ticked at you for stealing away what’s-his-name after all these years. You two go through this routine every time you meet,” Sophie said.

  “Ida expects it. I can’t start disappointing her now,” Toots replied.

  “True,” Mavis said.

  “Yip, yip!” from the carrier.

  “Apparently, Coco agrees. Now just follow the signs to the exit. I’ll meet you both at the car. By the way, it’s a Range Rover in case the valet attendant asks.”

  Toots left the women in the lounge, knowing Mavis would tell Sophie she had a surprise for all of them. They’d spend their time waiting trying to figure out exactly what the surprise was. She smiled at the image.

  Ten minutes later, when she saw Ida emerge from the plane, Toots almost fainted. Mavis and Sophie had weight issues for sure. Ida on the other hand…what the hell was her problem?

  Toots observed her friend as Ida carefully made her way through the group of debarking passengers, careful to stay as far away from human contact as possible. Ida was neither fat nor skinny. She was just right. Hair graying nicely though plainly styled. Toots thought her old friend was gorgeous, with her perfectly even features, nothing too large or too small. Every feature was where it was supposed to be. Toots always thought she herself was too tall and her lips too thick, but now wasn’t the time to start tallying up her issues against that of her former rival. More immediate issues were at hand. Like why did Ida have on latex gloves and one of those masks surgeons wear?

  Her voice muffled by the mask, Ida asked, “Teresa, is that you?”

  “Of course it’s me. Who did you think it was, King Kong? I haven’t changed that much, have I?” Here I go, Toots thought, all those damned insecurities slapping me in the face like a cheating lover caught in the act.

  “I’m not sure. Let me take a look at you.”

  Toots leaned in to give Ida a hug and allow her a close-up look. Ida almost fell over backward. “Do not touch me!”

  “What?” Toots asked, sure she hadn’t heard Ida correctly.

  “Let’s get out of here. Did you bring all the supplies
Mavis told you I’d need? Don’t tell me she didn’t tell you what’s wrong with me, because she called me right after she hung up talking to you last night.”

  Yep, other than the germ factor, Ida was still a snippy bitch. Toots planned on curing her, like real quick.

  Toots grabbed Ida by the hand. “Follow me, and don’t you dare tell me not to touch you!”

  Chapter 6

  “Bernice,” Toots announced, “you’ve outdone yourself again. I don’t know when I’ve enjoyed a meal as much.” With Toots a vegan, Mavis on her new diet, Sophie needing to pile on the pounds, and Ida fearing anything she put in her mouth was laced with germs, Toots had called ahead to warn Bernice about the weird eating requirements of her friends. She’d successfully put together a menu that would satisfy each of their needs. Poached salmon and a watercress salad for Mavis, a thick New York strip steak and mashed potatoes for Sophie, and a plate of boiled vegetables for Ida.

  Acting the role of maid, chef, and pot scrubber, Bernice merely nodded, then began clearing their plates from the table. With a smirk on her face, Bernice asked, “Would the Missus care for coffee and dessert now?”

  “Of course. We’ll have it outside on the terrace.” Toots saw Bernice roll her eyes. If she wanted to play the roll of indentured servant, Toots was game. “Make sure the coffee is hot, too. And I’ll want Half & Half, no skim milk for me, though I’m sure Mavis will want hers black, and she’ll pass on dessert. Ida? Sophie?”

  Mavis was the first to speak up. “I don’t want any coffee, but I would like to take a sniff at whatever you’re offering for dessert. I can’t do this cold turkey.”

  “Of course you can’t,” Toots confirmed. “Bernice, slice a plate of fresh fruit for Mavis. In bite-size pieces.”

  Toots couldn’t help but smile because she knew under ordinary circumstances Bernice would have told her to “kiss her wrinkled old ass” or flipped her the single-digit salute. For the moment, she was on her best behavior.