Torn by Love (Scarred by Love #4)

by C. A. Harms

  She watched me without speaking a word, still holding me securely in her clenched hands. “I can’t promise you that I won’t screw up. In fact, I can admit that I probably will on more than one occasion. What I can promise is that I will do everything I can to make you smile—and laugh. I just want a chance to be with you. I’m willing to take a step I have never taken before and see where this takes us.”

  I felt like I had just run a marathon; my heart pounded so rapidly, I felt like it would beat straight out of my chest. This was unlike me. A relationship had never been something I wanted. Until now.

  Lily stared back at me, her chest rising gently as she breathed. She slowly inched her hands around my waist and locked them at my back. My stomach tensed at the thought of her rejecting me—another feeling I had never worried about before now. The strong urge to kiss her filled me, and I thought maybe I should give her something more to seal the deal. Only I refused that urge.

  “You scare me,” she confessed, and my stomach dropped. I started to speak only to have her shush me with her finger against my lips. “Not in the way you’re thinking,” she assured me. “You scare me because you’re intense. You’re something I’ve longed for yet never thought I would be given the chance to experience. Now that you’re offering, I’m terrified to take the risk.”

  Panic hit me. Was she telling me no?

  “There’s this guy,” she said. Jealousy filled my gut, and rage began to take over. “He taught me how to be stronger—for me. He taught me I wasn’t a weak link but a fighter.” She paused, smiling up at me. “Thank you for all you’ve given me.”

  This was it. She was about to tell me we could never be more than friends, and the thought of that made me sick.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lily

  I was trying to hold it together.

  After I met Tanner, I had waited for him to show me even the slightest bit of attention, yet he always treated me like an innocent girl. His bad-boy image intrigued me, and he was the kind of guy I had always longed for.

  But over the last couple of months, I was able to see a different side of him, a side he rarely showed—after all, his brothers were always waiting for the chance to pay him back for the sarcastic comments he had dished out over the years. If only they knew how sweet he could be, how kind he had been when I needed him most. He still carried that cocky attitude, the one I loved to hate. Yet when I needed a shoulder to lean on, he was more than willing to be my rock.

  Now here we stood in the house he had bought, and he was telling me he wanted to be more than just friends.

  I battled with the warnings my head and heart were both giving me. I knew without a doubt that Tanner could hurt me. I wanted to believe he wouldn’t, but it didn’t erase my knowledge that he could.

  “Say something, please,” he pleaded.

  “I don’t want to be afraid of taking this chance on you, but I am. I’m terrified of what the outcome may be,” I confessed.

  “Don’t damn us before you even give us a shot.” He led me to a chair and directed me to take a seat. Kneeling before me, he then placed his hands on the sides of my legs. “I’m no saint, I know this. I’ve been an ass more times than I can count. I’ve done shit without a second thought, not caring who I hurt in the process. I know I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry for that.”

  He slid in closer, nudging my knees apart. “I wasn’t ready then.” His gaze locked on mine. “I’m ready, Lil. I am so ready to take this step now.”

  In all the time I had known Tanner, I had never seen this look in his eyes. He was begging me with his stare. I knew I couldn’t deny either of us the chance. I wanted Tanner just as much, if not more.

  “Just don’t break me,” I whispered.

  His shoulders relaxed as he took in a deep breath. “I’ll never break you, I promise.” He rose up on his knees and then pulled me to him and kissed me with everything he could offer.

  ***

  I woke up the next morning feeling peaceful and relaxed—a feeling I hadn’t had in a long time. Tanner and I spent close to two hours at his house yesterday, sharing ideas and visions for each room. The excitement in his eyes was beautiful. When we were done he took me to dinner at a little Italian restaurant at the edge of town. I couldn’t help the laughter that spilled from me when he got jealous over the way our waiter looked at me. It was a reaction I wasn’t used to seeing from him, but I’d be the first to admit, I loved his jealousy. It made me feel like I actually meant something to him.

  After he dropped me off and kissed me good-bye, I sagged against the door with happiness. Tanner wanted more, finally.

  The girls had planned to go out today, insisting we needed a day to ourselves. “Saturday makeovers,” they called it. I was slightly intimidated because when Kate was involved, it could get scary.

  I didn’t take the time to do my hair before I left. Why bother when the salon would be our first stop? I just wadded it up in a messy bun and slipped on a pair of shorts, a T-shirt, and my strappy sandals before grabbing my purse from the table.

  Just as I was about to open the front door, the bell rang. I was supposed to be meeting the girls at Renaissance Salon, so I knew they weren’t here to pick me up. As I peeked through the window at the side of the door, my heart rate sped up. Tanner stood on the other side, looking all rugged and sexy. He wore a baseball cap backward, and his hair peeked out from under the brim at the base of his neck. It was crazy how he made me feel.

  Opening the door slowly, I was slightly embarrassed by my rumpled look. “Hey,” I said.

  He tilted his head to the side and grinned. “Why are you hiding behind the door, Lil?” He pushed against it, and I stepped back, my hands going immediately to my messy hair.

  “I’m not hiding, I’m just a mess.”

  He shook his head and stepped just inside. “Sexy as fuck, yes,” he whispered as he backed me up farther into the room. “But a mess, hell no.”

  He had always made my knees weak, but now that I knew we had crossed the threshold into commitment territory, he made my entire body weak and needy. His leaned in, and his lips grazed mine on the path to my ear. “I’ll be working all day today, so I wanted to stop by on my way into the shop. That kiss last night only left me wanting more.”

  Oh my God, I knew exactly what he meant. “Tell me about it,” I whispered, smiling when he grinned at my response.

  I moved in close and wrapped my hands around the back of his neck. I whimpered as we devoured each other’s lips. The sound only urged him further as he roamed his hands over my back and cupped my ass.

  As he lifted me, I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he carried me toward the counter that separated the kitchen and the living room. He set me down and raised the hem of my shirt before slipping his hands beneath and gliding them over my stomach. Chills covered my back and arms from his touch.

  “Holy hell, dude, you’re mauling my sister in the kitchen.”

  Tanner and I broke apart at the sound of Logan’s voice. I looked up just as he and Sam walked through the front door. They had gone out for breakfast and were just returning.

  Tanner lifted his hat off his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “Sorry, man, can’t help myself,” he confessed, and I only hid my face.

  Sam laughed, and I peeked through my fingers to find Logan smiling as well.

  “Just keep it clean or close the front door next time. We have neighbors.” Logan winked at me as he walked by, tossing Tanner a condom, which only furthered my embarrassment. “I’m not ready to be an uncle, and she needs to finish school first.”

  I gasped. “Oh my God, Logan. Seriously?”

  Tanner chuckled, stepping up to pull my hands away from my face. He leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. “Come on, I’ll walk you out. The girls are probably wondering where you are by now.”

  “Oh don’t worry, I’ll text Kate and tell her you two were getting busy on our kitchen counter,” Logan hollered as we walked out the front
door.

  Tanner chuckled at my mortified expression. “I’m never going to hear the end of this, you know that, right?”

  If Kate knew, then so would everyone else. It would trickle down the grapevine until they all had ammunition. That was what the Parks boys were like. Zander was no different, and the girls were just as bad.

  “What are you worried about?” Tanner asked as we stopped beside my car.

  “Nothing,” I said, and he arched a brow. “I’m not worried, it’s just that I know they’re going to have a field day with this.”

  “I have stories about each one of them.” He traced my furrowed brow. “Besides, I think they’re all too happy that we’re finally together to say much of anything. I had a call from each one of them last night lecturing me about treating you right.”

  He kissed my lips softly and pulled away entirely too quickly. I thought I may have even chased after him with my lips. His cocky grin confirmed that I had.

  “Call me after you all get done. I’ll work until then. I wanna see you tonight.”

  My girly bits clenched at the thought of us picking up where we had just left off. I nodded, afraid to talk. I was allowing my mind to think of all the things I wanted him to do to me later. It was official. Tanner had turned me into a horny mess without even getting to the good stuff yet. I was seriously in a whole heap of trouble when it came to this man.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Tanner

  I busied myself, attempting to pass the time quickly. It was now almost four in the afternoon, and I had yet to hear from Lily.

  I’d actually gotten a lot further at work than I thought I would. My guys and I were finishing up a room extension on the back of the community center. I’d fought tooth and nail to get the job and barely broke even on it because of the low bid, but getting my name out there would be worth the price.

  Most of my guys had gone home, and I was packing up my things when my patience finally ran out. I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and sent a text to Lily, hoping for a quick response. When one didn’t come, I texted Riley.

  Me: Is Lily with you?

  Her response came back immediately.

  Riley: Yes, and you can’t have her back yet. She’s not complete.

  What the fuck? What was that supposed to mean?

  Me: You mind explaining?

  I could imagine Riley rolling her eyes as she read my reply.

  Riley: Um, no. You’ll find out soon enough. Now leave us alone, it’s girl time.

  Yeah, like that was gonna happen. I ended the call and quickly dialed Max’s number, and when he answered I sensed he was feeling agitated too. I figured I would push his buttons a little more. “What’s wrong, Papa Bear, you feeling unloved?”

  His pissed-off growl confirmed my suspicions. “You ready to go get our girls?” he asked.

  “Be there in fifteen,” I said just before hanging up. Max and I were more alike than he and Mason were. In fact, the two of them couldn’t be more opposite.

  He was already outside waiting when I pulled into the space Bree’s car usually occupied. I hadn’t even placed the truck in park before he yanked open the door and climbed inside. “Let’s move,” he barked.

  “Where’s Paisley?” I asked as I backed out.

  “She’s staying with Mom,” he replied. “I have one night with Bree before I’m back at the station for forty-eight hours. I’ve waited long enough. Whether she likes it or not, she’s coming home with me.

  Damn dude was like a junkie going through withdrawal. He was worse off than me.

  “Where are they?” I asked.

  “Strip mall.” He slapped his hand on the dash. “Move,” he grunted.

  I shook my head. Bree was going to let him have it if he didn’t chill the fuck out.

  ***

  They weren’t hard to find once we pulled up. The whole group of them were gathered outside of some girly-ass store, showing off their purchases to each other.

  Max fled from my truck like a man on a mission. Bree’s eyes widened the moment they locked on the grizzly bear approaching her. He held out his hand in front of her. “Keys, woman.” Bree defiantly cocked her hip, placing her hand on her waist. “Now.” He growled.

  Without breaking eye contact, she reached inside her bag, pulled out her car keys, and slapped them into his hand. They had a silent yet intense stare down before he knelt and threw her over his shoulder.

  “Say good-bye, Bree,” he directed.

  “Kiss my ass, Max,” she shot right back.

  “If you insist, angel, but that ain’t the only spot I plan on kissing. Be prepared to lose the ability to walk by tomorrow. After I’m done with you, I think you’ll need your rest.” He stalked toward her car as Bree kicked her legs in protest.

  I decided to take a more relaxed approach. After watching Max behave like a caveman, I figured it was the best choice.

  I looked at Lily, slowly taking her in from head to toe. Her hair was a little shorter, just touching her shoulders now. The blonde now had caramel highlights, and her makeup was a little darker than usual. She no longer wore the outfit she’d had on earlier. Now a light green dress hugged her body, hitting her at midthigh. Sandals with heels made her a few inches taller, and her legs appeared even longer.

  When my gaze finally reached hers, she smiled shyly.

  “What the hell is wrong with you and Max?” Riley asked.

  “You about done with my girl?”

  My comment earned me some points in the sweet-guy department. Riley’s eyes softened, and Kate smiled from ear to ear.

  “I waited as long as I could. I’m done waiting.” I reached my hand out toward Lily, and she took a step in my direction and locked her fingers with mine. I leaned in and placed a soft kiss against her lips before leading her to the parking lot. I wanted to grab her and pull her to me, but I refrained from doing so. I was still dirty and sweaty from work, so that would have to wait until after I showered.

  “Whatever you do, make sure you shut the front door this time,” Kate yelled after us, and Lily groaned, hanging her head in embarrassment. I guess Logan hadn’t been lying earlier when he said he would text Kate.

  Lily followed me back to my house, not knowing that I had no intentions of allowing her to leave tonight. I stopped at the end of the driveway and waved her in ahead of me. I smiled as I pulled my Tahoe behind her little car. There was no way she could get out now.

  I jogged up to her car and grabbed the bag from her hand as she climbed out “I got it,” I assured her.

  “Don’t look inside,” she insisted, and I agreed I wouldn’t. But my interest was now piqued, and it was harder than hell not to tear into the bag in my hand. How can you tell a guy not to look and expect him to listen? If she hadn’t said anything the thought wouldn’t have even crossed my mind; now it was all that was running through it.

  ***

  “The pizza should be here soon. I’m gonna go grab a quick shower.” I leaned over the back of the couch and kissed her cheek. “You gonna show me what’s in that bag?”

  “Later, if you’re lucky,” she replied with a smirk.

  Damn girl was playing games. She arched her neck when I ran my tongue over her jaw, opening her mouth up farther. “I want you to stay with me tonight,” I told her before sucking lightly and nipping at her neck.

  “Okay,” she sighed. I swear my dick jumped in response.

  “You’ll stay?”

  She nodded. “Yes.” It came out in a pant.

  Things were about to change. After tonight she would truly be mine.

  ***

  We ate pizza in front of the television, laughing at some sitcom. If I was being honest I spent half the show watching her. The moment she caught me staring, she blushed. I could tell she was nervous, but I let her lead. She surprised me beyond words when she crawled onto my lap and straddled my legs. I immediately engulfed her waist with my hands and pulled her closer.

  A kiss that started out slo
w and gentle turned hot and heavy in seconds. The desire between us was scorching. The moment her hips rocked forward, I gripped her tightly. “Slow down, baby.” I was mentally slapping myself on the back of the head. What the hell was I doing? Slow down?

  “I want you,” she panted.

  Oh fuck me, her voice was like a purr.

  “I want you too. I just want you in my bed, not on the couch.” I also wanted it to last more than five minutes, and at the rate we were going, I would be lucky to not finish in my pants. My control was way off course when it came to Lily. She made me feel things no other woman ever had.

  Standing up, I told her to wrap her legs around me. She did, then thrust herself forward once more. I was pretty sure a growl ripped through me as she gyrated her hips against me as I walked down the hall toward my room.

  We fell to my bed, and this time I thrust against her. She arched her back, and her tits pressed against me. The low-cut neckline allowed me a sneak peek at what lay beneath.

  I slid my hands down her body, gathered the material of her dress in my hands, and lifted it slowly. The waistband of her pale pink panties came into view, and it did crazy things to my already scrambled mind. As I slid down her body, I gently kissed her stomach just above the band of lace.

  “Tanner,” she moaned.

  “Lily,” I whispered against her stomach. Her breaths came in little needy pants. “What do you want?”

  “You.”

  “You got me.”

  I knew what she meant, but her squirming beneath me was one hell of a sight.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Lily

  By the time Tanner worked me over with his mouth, I was a bundle of nerves. My body felt so alive, so hungry for more. It had never been explored so carefully and tenderly. I had never experienced touches and kisses as gentle and sexy as his. After all, my sexual experiences were very limited, compared to his.