Torn by Love (Scarred by Love #4)

by C. A. Harms

  “So, a girlfriend, huh?” Olivia slipped on her right shoe and looked up at me. “That mousy girl with the blonde hair?”

  “Her name is Lily, and what the fuck do you mean by ‘mousy’?” Her description of Lil pissed me off.

  “I mean she was always so quiet, timid. She reminded me of a high school girl,” she clarified.

  “She has her reasons for being shy, but they aren’t any of your business. Are you about done?”

  Discussing Lily with an ex-fuck-buddy wasn’t my idea of good conversation. I wouldn’t stand here and explain what she and I had to Olivia.

  She stood up and stared at me. “Do you mind?” I motioned for her to move out of the way. After a few silent seconds she stepped aside, and I crawled up into my Tahoe.

  “If things don’t work out, you still have my number,” she said just before stepping back so I could close the door.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Not happening, Olivia. Not now, not ever. What we had was nothing. Just a fling. It was nothing even remotely close to what I have with Lily. I’m in love with that girl.”

  There wasn’t a chance in hell I’d go back. That ship had sailed. I had no intentions of ever needing to call Olivia or any other girl, for that matter. Admitting that made me step on the gas just a little harder.

  I was ready to hold Lily in my arms and wash away the shit from my day.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Lily

  The wedding was now less than two weeks away, and it was time to wrap things up and tidy any loose ends.

  After her last checkup, Riley had finally been given the okay to get out of bed. The doctor had restricted her from being on her feet for too long, but she was able to join us outside of her apartment.

  She was starting to get cranky, and Zander was about to rip his hair out. He had said on more than one occasion that he believed his wife had been possessed by demons. A caged Riley was dangerous. She needed socialization and she needed a change of scenery.

  Today we were going to the bridal store for our last dress fitting. All the alterations had been made, and we needed to verify that everything fit. I myself had very little that needed adjusting on my own dress, but I still felt like I needed to go out with the other girls.

  Tanner was going to be working on the house, and Max and Mason were coming over to help. He had just gotten out of the shower when I scurried by, looking for my purse. His hands flew up in the air, and he stepped back out of my way.

  “Damn, girl, where’s the fire?” He chuckled.

  “I can’t find my purse. Have you seen it?” I grumbled as I continued searching the room.

  He walked across the open space and lifted the strap off the back of the kitchen chair. A cocky smirk was on his face as he held it at his side. When I tried to reach for it, he tucked it behind his back. “Not until you kiss me good-bye. And before you offer me some lame excuse for a kiss, I want tongue.” He wagged his eyebrows, which only caused me to laugh.

  “You are such a brute,” I said as I stepped closer. I placed my hands on his chest and rose up on the tips on my toes. My purse hit the floor as he wrapped his hands around my waist. His tongue invaded my mouth and nipped and sucked.

  “Mm,” I moaned.

  “That’s what I’m saying,” he whispered against my lips. “I’m thinking you should skip this dress thing and get naked with me.” He snaked his hands beneath my shirt to cup my breasts.

  A loud knock on the door had me jumping back. “Saved by the grizzly,” I said as Tanner attempted to pout.

  I quickly jerked his towel away, and he only smirked. He wasn’t fazed by the fact that he was standing in our kitchen completely naked. Only when he heard his brothers hollering out that they were going to bust through the door, did he jog down the hall to get some clothes on while I let the guys in.

  “Hey, Lil,” Mason said before he leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, then sauntered toward the fridge. Max entered directly behind, holding a six-pack of beer in one hand.

  “Hey, guys, sorry to run, but I’m sure everyone is waiting on me,” I apologized as I slipped on my shoes.

  I noticed Tanner’s truck was parked behind mine. “Hey, Max, can you hand me Tanner’s keys? They’re on that hook behind you. I need to move his truck.”

  “Sure thing.” He reached out and passed them to me.

  I ran outside, quickly jumped up into the truck, and moved it to the side of the driveway before climbing out. Just as I was about to close the door, something red caught my eye. It was lodged up under the edge of his seat, almost out of sight, but the black interior made it jump out.

  I wrapped my hand around it and pulled it out, then turned it over. It was a small, thin pocketbook. My first thought was that maybe Bree or Riley had been in the truck and dropped it recently. With a trembling hand I opened the zipper, and my chest felt as if it seized. An ache filled my stomach when I saw the driver’s license inside the clear window.

  Olivia Mae Olson.

  I tried not to let my mind race. She could have just left it a long time ago, when they were still seeing each other. I took a deep breath, slowly opened the wallet, and found a receipt folded in half. I opened the paper, hoping it would be from months ago. But the date on the bottom, just next to the store name was from just a little over two weeks ago. It was for a box of condoms and a pack of gum.

  My hands began to shake, and bile rose in my throat as I let my gaze roam upward. Tears stung the back of my eyes, and I felt dizzy and light-headed as I tried to gain control.

  How could he do this to me? Had what Olivia told me before been true all along?

  I attempted to calm my racing heart. But the longer I stood there, the angrier I got. Fighting back the tears, I stormed toward the house, still holding both the receipt and the wallet. I could hear the guys laughing, but I tuned them out. I had one target, and I wouldn’t let the fact that his brothers were there stop me.

  “How long?” I asked as I stood in the kitchen doorway.

  All three guys turned around to face me. Tanner looked confused as he took a step in my direction. “Baby, what are you…?”

  “How long have you been sleeping with her behind my back?”

  Both Max and Mason whipped their heads toward Tanner.

  “Baby, I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”

  His response only pissed me off further. I held up the wallet so Olivia’s ID was facing the three of them. “I found this in your truck. At first I thought maybe she’d left it there back when you two messed around, but then I found this.” I showed him the receipt. “It’s dated from two weeks ago when she bought condoms—oh, and chewing gum.” I tossed both the wallet and the receipt to the floor by Tanner’s feet. “I was such an idiot to actually believe you could change. You’re still the playboy you’ve always been. I was just too stupid to see it.”

  I walked toward the bedroom and grabbed my large bag on the back of the closet door.

  I heard some shouting, followed by a loud crash from the kitchen. I ignored it as I moved around the room, quickly gathering anything I could. I’d get someone to stop by for the rest later. I had no intentions of ever coming back here.

  As I walked out of the room I collided with Tanner. He grabbed my arms, and I jerked out of his hold. “Don’t touch me.”

  “Lily, please just let me explain,” he pleaded. “It’s not what you think.”

  “Let go of me.” It took everything in me to push him away. I rushed past the twins as they both looked back at me, shocked.

  Little quiet Lily had a fire in her. Who would have thought?

  “Lily, listen. I ran in to her at the bar. She just—”

  I whipped around and shoved him in the chest. He needed to stop following me. I had to have some space. I could no longer hold my tears back.

  Tanner grabbed my elbow again and turned me to face him.

  “You told me you loved me. You convinced me to move in with you, and you mad
e me believe we would make it. You lied, Tanner. You lied to me.” I pushed him off one last time before I ran from the house.

  I jumped in my car, threw my bags in the passenger seat, and started the engine. Tanner came running down the steps just as I backed out of the driveway.

  Shifting into drive, I looked through the windshield as I pulled away to see him staring at me with a panicked expression as he gripped the back of his head with both hands, looking completely lost.

  The dam broke as I drove away. I sobbed so hard I eventually had to pull over to the side of the road. I couldn’t breathe. I was in physical pain from his betrayal, and at any moment I felt like I may be sick.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Tanner

  “Motherfucker,” I screamed as I ran out into the street after her as she began to drive away. With my heart thumping rapidly and the ache in my chest leaving me almost breathless, I watched the tail lights of her car disappear down the road. I jogged back to my house and searched for my keys on the hook just inside the front door, only to come up empty. Both of my brothers stood before me, staring in silence.

  “I didn’t do shit,” I growled. “You assholes can both stand there and glare at me all you want. I didn’t do it. She was fucking drunk and followed me out of the bar. That’s it.”

  My anger was boiling, and I was about to blow. “Where the fuck are my keys?” I tore through the living room, flipping up the pillows on the couch and knocking over things on the coffee table. Then it hit me. Lily had moved my truck.

  I ran from the house, and just as I was about to jerk open my truck door, I looked down. The keys were lying on the ground next to my truck.

  The crunching of shoes against the gravel in the driveway caused me to spin around. Max was walking toward me with a grim look on his face. I chose to ignore him as I climbed inside the Tahoe.

  “You think going after her right now is a good idea?” he asked.

  “Don’t give me that shit, Max. If this was you and Bree took off, you wouldn’t let her get away.”

  He knew I was right, so he bowed his head and stepped back, letting me back out.

  I didn’t even know where I was going, but how many dress shops could there be in town? It couldn’t be that hard to find her.

  I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and dialed Lily’s number. It rang twice before going to voice mail. I knew then that she had hit Ignore.

  “Baby, please come back home,” I said. “I wasn’t messing around on you. I love you. I wouldn’t do that to you, to us.” I hung up and then called Bree’s phone.

  “What happened?” she asked after picking up on the first ring.

  “Just a misunderstanding. Will you put her on the phone?” Silence filled the other end of the line, and a sick feeling settled in my stomach. “Is she there?”

  “Uh, no, she called, and I could barely understand her with how hard she was sobbing.” Hearing about how upset Lily was made me sick. “Her dress didn’t really have any adjustments besides the straps, so she said she wasn’t coming.”

  “What?”

  “There isn’t a reason she had to be here, Tanner, so she isn’t coming.”

  I pulled over at the gas station near my office. Resting my head back against the seat, I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I don’t know where to start, B. I don’t know. How do I fix this?”

  Bree sighed. “I don’t even know what happened, Tanner. But from the way Lily was crying, it had to be pretty bad.”

  ***

  Six days. That’s how long it’d been since I kissed Lily. Six days since she got in her car and drove from Arizona to her brother’s place in Texas.

  She wasn’t taking my calls. In fact, she wasn’t taking anyone’s. Logan promised to have her here for Bree’s special day, as she was part of the wedding party. That gave me at least a small amount of hope, but the time we’d spent apart was only making me grow angrier and frustrated over the entire situation.

  Logan had even tried to talk to Lily after I told him in detail what had truly happened with Olivia. After a day or two he felt she was coming around, because she’d actually listened to his explanation, yet I still hadn’t heard from her.

  Logan and I had spent over three hours talking, and by the time we hung up, I felt like the biggest pussy. But he knew after that conversation just how much I loved his sister, so spilling my guts had been worth it.

  I wouldn’t willingly admit to anyone, well maybe except Lily, how I slept on her side of the bed. I could still smell her there, and her scent helped soothe the ache that was still heavy in my heart.

  ***

  When the day of the wedding finally arrived, I was cranky, my stomach was in knots, and I felt like a caged bear. I guess not sleeping more than an hour the night before didn’t help, either.

  The guys were all meeting at my parents’, and the girls were getting ready at Bree and Max’s place. Time seemed to drag on, and it took everything I had not to be there waiting on the doorstep before sunrise.

  “Hey, sweetheart, how you doing?” my mother said from behind me.

  I didn’t even bother to turn around. I had been staring out the back window of my childhood home for the last hour, fighting an inner battle of anger and love as hundreds of scenarios ran through my mind. “All right, I guess.”

  “Tanner, look at me.” She placed her hand on my arm. When I turned around to meet her gaze, she looked worried. Her brows were pinched together, and the fine lines around her eyes were more noticeable. The worry etched in her features was obvious as she stared up at me. “I know that’s a lie. Tell me the truth.”

  “You really want the truth?” I asked, and she nodded. “I feel like shit. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep.” I took a deep breath and looked back out the window, toward the backyard. “I’m pissed she never gave me the chance to explain. I’m mad as hell she didn’t believe in us enough to know I would never cheat on her.”

  I look back over my shoulder. “If I’m being completely truthful, I’m not sure I can be with someone that could walk away from me so easily.”

  “Well, that’s a decision you have to make on your own. The only thing I want is for all my children to be happy.” My mom reached up and gripped the back of my neck. “If Lily makes you happy, if you truly love her, then you need to make the choice. Decide if that love and happiness is something you can live without. No one else can do that for you.”

  She walked away, leaving me standing alone once again as I considered her words.

  ***

  Max climbed into the car with Mason, Carson, and Dad. Mom had left an hour ago to help Bree finish getting ready. They were getting married at a small church, the same one my parents were married in years ago.

  I hung back and decided to ride in Riley’s car with Zander. He wanted to drive in case he had to cut out early due to Riley and her tendency to push herself too hard lately.

  “How you holding up?” Zander asked as we pulled out of the driveway behind my parents’ Buick.

  “Why does everyone keep asking me that? Do I look that bad?” I stared out the side window. “If this wedding was for anyone but my brother and one of my best friends, I would bail.” I had no desire to smile for some fucking photographer or make a cheery toast to the bride and groom.

  “If it’s any consolation, Lily looks like shit too. Riley said she spent the entire morning in the bathroom throwing up.”

  No, hearing that she was falling apart too didn’t help. I was pissed, but knowing she was hurting didn’t make me feel any better.

  The ride was short but silent after that point. In just a few minutes I would see her. I just wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about that yet.

  As we pulled up in front of the church, my stomach clenched. Lily stood on the front steps along with everyone else. But she was the only one I could focus on. Her hair was piled up on top of her head, her curls hanging loosely around her face. A snug lavender dress contoured to every curve of her body. The mate
rial stopped just above her knees, exposing her calves, and matching heels gave her a few extra inches of height. She took my breath away.

  “Hey, you coming?” Zander asked as he stepped from the car.

  “Yeah, I just need a few minutes,” I assured him.

  I sat in the car in silence, attempting to calm myself. Lily stood to the side with her arms crossed over her stomach, looking frail and thinner. Her smile was forced, and I could tell she was faking her happiness. The conversation I’d had earlier with my mother rang in my mind.

  Could I live without Lily? Could I easily forget the happiness I felt when I was with her? Was I willing to let go of my anger?

  Those were all questions only I held the answers to. Questions I knew had to be decided.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Lily

  Today was so hard. I had spent the entire morning sick to my stomach. I wasn’t sure I could face Tanner. Everyone was here. Everyone was happy and laughing. Everyone but him.

  Bree was glowing, and Max couldn’t take his eyes off her. The intensity in his gaze even made me feel flushed. He was staring her down like she was the last steak and he hadn’t eaten in a week. He was for sure ready to pounce, and we hadn’t even made it inside the church yet.

  I stood to the side of the group, quietly observing everyone, feeling a little out of place. I twisted my hands nervously in front of me and looked down at my feet, trying to calm my nervous stomach. The sick feeling was once again consuming me.

  The laughter that had been flowing so freely suddenly stopped. I shifted my gaze up to find everyone looking out toward the parking lot. I was afraid to follow their stares; my stomach had bottomed out. I didn’t miss the continued glances in my direction before everyone slowly turned their attention back to the parking lot.

  I regretted leaving Tanner, but I couldn’t convince my heart to accept the truth. I had told myself over and over that I wasn’t enough for him, that he needed more than I could give him, and it was only a matter of time before he figured that out, and then I truly would be devastated from the loss.