Coming Undone (Club Voyeur Book 1)

by Kohl, Holland

  “I knew you would enjoy it. Last night was only the beginning. I can’t wait to introduce you to more.” Excitement laced Reed’s voice. It was contagious.

  My heart beat a little faster just imagining all of the new things he would introduce me to on the island and in New York. “I’m game for almost anything as long as I’m with you,” I said, watching him closely for any signs of pulling back.

  He ran a finger along my jaw and down my neck, igniting the fire between my legs with the tiniest of touches. “Last night, seeing you press your hands against the mirror nearly did me in,” he rasped. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

  “You don’t know what you do to me.” I meant to be playful, but it came out serious. Reed was more than just sex. He had me hooked.

  “Show me what I do to you,” he murmured into my jaw, snaking his tongue out to taste me.

  Moaning, I took his hand and placed it between my legs. “Feel how wet you make me,” I said in a husky voice that I barely recognized as my own.

  Reed’s eyes darkened with lust. He pulled his hand away and stuck two fingers in my mouth. I didn’t need to be told what to do - I sucked, imagining his fingers were his cock.

  “I love the way your lips look when you have me in your mouth.” Reed withdrew his fingers and ran them back down my body, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. His fingers slid into my inviting pussy, easily fitting inside.

  I threw my head back and moaned as he stroked me from the inside out. Each time he flicked my clit, it sent shocks of pleasure bolting through my body. “Mmm,” I moaned and thrust my hips to meet his fingers.

  Reed brought me to the edge of climax, but I didn’t want to come, not without him. “Show me what I do to you,” I moaned.

  Reed withdrew his fingers and licked them playfully. “Come under the sheets and find out.”

  Jumping up on all fours, I let my eyes feast on Reed’s hard body as I removed the sheet slowly. “It looks like you have some morning wood. I think we better take care of it before we start the day.”

  “Sounds like a plan. I want to see you ride my cock, so I have a nice visual for the rest of the day.”

  I straddled his waist and happily obliged.

  ***

  I met Marlowe at Eros for lunch. I could barely contain my excitement. All of the events from last night were dying to come out into the light of day, where I could gain perspective on my situation. With Reed, I had done a complete one-eighty from my usual routine of keeping men at an arm’s length. I almost didn’t recognize myself and I needed Marlowe’s opinion and validation that I hadn’t lost my mind.

  “Holy fuck, you’re glowing.” Marlowe’s voice rang out as I approached her. She sat at a table in the back of the restaurant sipping Saki in a fitted red dress.

  I gave her a hug and took my seat. “Nice dress, is it new?”

  Marlowe grinned even wider. “Yup. A gift from my lovely gentlemen callers.” She winked at me.

  I shook my head and smile, still not used to Marlowe’s ménage of a dating life. “How are things going with Will and Aaron? It’s only been a day, but I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

  “Things couldn’t be better. We’ve decided to be exclusive this week at Club Voyeur and we’re even discussing plans to meet up a few times a year at sex clubs around the world. I hear Germany has a great scene.”

  I took a sip of water. “I’m happy for you. I know it’s not a conventional relationship, but if it works for you, it works for me. I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time.”

  Marlowe finished her Saki and poured some more. “I could say the same about you. You look stunning. You’re still with Reed. I can tell by the way you walked over here. You know, like you just got banged all night and your vajayjay is still sore.”

  “Oh, Marlowe,” I sighed, “You have no idea.”

  She leaned forward in her seat, “Deets! I want to know every last goddam detail.”

  I took another sip of water, my nerves suddenly getting the best of me. “Mar, I really like Reed. He’s smart and funny. I want you to keep an open mind when I tell you about last night.”

  “Open mind. Who do you think you’re talking to?” She cocked her head to the side. “I’m your bestie remember. Your bestie who is currently dating two guys at the same time. There’s not much you could say that would surprise me,” Marlowe reassured.

  “I know. Maybe I’m still trying to convince myself. Reed has a little bit of a sexual proclivity. He likes to…um.” I grabbed Marlowe’s Saki and downed the rest of the drink.

  Marlowe’s eyes widened. “Spit it out already, I’m dying here.”

  “He’s into exhibitionism and voyeurism,” I finally said. “Last night we had sex in front of a one-way mirror watching another couple. At first, I was nervous. But after the other couple came in, I felt totally comfortable. I loved it. What does that say about me?”

  “You slut!” Marlowe yelled and then burst into a fit of giggles. “I always knew you had it in you.”

  “How did you know? Because I didn’t even know I had it in me.” In my twenty-five years, I had only dated a few guys and on a scale of one to ten, my past sex life could safely be characterized as a two.

  “You have a fun spirit. You’ve just never made friends with her before. You’ve spent so much time building your career, that you’ve lost touch with your inner goddess. I figured you would either marry a boring tight-ass, live in suburbia, and have two point five children, or you would have an epiphany and join the rest of us Sex and the City watching, Cosmo drinking, sex fiends.”

  I felt like I had joined some sort of secret club. Having sex with Reed was eye opening in more ways than one. I had blossomed into a new woman who was in touch with her sexuality for the first time. I could care less about my job right now, and all I wanted to do was spend the rest of the day shopping for sexy lingerie so I would look hot for Reed. I had years of boring sex to make up for.

  “So you think my relationship with Reed is normal?” I asked in a small voice, seeking one last shred reassurance.

  “Totally normal.” Marlowe took my hand in hers. “If people didn’t like watching other people fuck, the porn industry wouldn’t be raking in billions of dollars each year. I think it’s good for you to explore your sexual identity. I’m glad you met Reed. He clearly makes you happy. As far as I’m concerned he has my seal of approval.”

  Marlowe’s words went a long way to assuage my fears. She was a straight shooter and would tell me if she thought Reed wasn’t right for me. “Thanks, it feels good to hear that I’m not a total freak. Now tell me more about Will and Aaron. What do they do back in …” I trailed off as my eyes caught a sight across the room that turned my stomach inside out. I started to tremble at the realization that my world was about to crumble.

  Marlowe squeezed my hand. “What is it?”

  I didn’t respond. Just stared straight ahead at Reed eating lunch with a woman, not just any woman, but Ronnie the lap dance instructor and most likely the owner of the hotel and red Tesla. Worse than Ronnie, his other lunch guest was the man who ruined my trust in men, Jack fucking Cunningham.

  Jealousy and confusion flooded my brain. Reed had told me he was friends with Ronnie, but Jack, how the hell did he know my cheating, lying, son-of-a-bitch of an ex?

  “Eva, if you don’t start talking, I’m going to make a scene.” Marlowe threatened.

  “The blonde is the owner of the hotel,” I explained to Marlowe. “They’re probably discussing business, Reed does counseling here.”

  “And Jack?”

  “I have no fucking clue how Reed knows Jack,” I muttered, cupping my head. “What are the odds?”

  “Friends my ass. She’s got her hand on Reed’s leg.” Marlowe pointed out.

  I leaned forward to get a better view. That bitch had her hand casually placed on Reed’s thigh like it belonged there. Worse than Ronnie’s actions, Reed did nothing to move her away.


  I wrapped myself in a hug to stop the uncontrollable shivering that racked my body. My breathing became ragged as a full-blown panic attack threatened to take me to my knees in the middle of the restaurant.

  Gasping for breath, I watched on in horror as Ronnie laughed at something Reed said and slowly moved in for a kiss. Reed did nothing to push away her advance. Their lips met and my heart sank. And sitting there, taking it all in with a stupid smirk on his face, was Jack.

  With tear filled eyes, I finally looked away. “I have to go,” I sputtered out between gasps for air. Standing, I kept my head down and ran for the exit, which lay just beyond their table. My chest burned in pursuit of air, but I kept running. Breezing past Reed’s table, I wished more than anything I would go unnoticed.

  In my wake, I heard him calling my name, followed by Marlowe’s shrieks.

  Despite my need to confront him and find out why, my legs kept moving. Carrying me to my room, where I could wallow in the depths of my despair alone.

  About the Author

  Holland lives in New York City. For fun, she likes to explore beautiful Brownstone Brooklyn and frequent vegan eateries. Holland would love to hear from you and will respond to all emails: hollandkohl@gmail.com. You can also join her Facebook at: www.facebook.com/authorhollandkohl

  Envy

  Haunted by her past, Envy Harris lives each day under the facade of an assumed life. She is Anna Wharton, the dutiful wife of a star professor, arm-candy, and hostess. To outsiders, she has it all. But when the parties end and the guests leave, Envy is left alone with nothing but memories of her Father’s death and the demons that are still searching for her. Envy has nowhere to go and nobody she can trust, but that all changes the moment she meets Lorne.

  Lorne

  Lorne Beringer wants nothing more than to start over and leave his criminal ties behind him along with the Hell’s Demons MC. He worked his ass off to get accepted into a prestigious program at an Ivy League school and won’t jeopardize it for anything, that is until he meets Envy. She’s everything he could want in a woman. Only she’s not the woman he thinks she is.

  The past has a way of catching up to you. It will either drag you down into the murky depths of despair or be a catalyst for revenge. Entangled in more ways than they know, Lorne and Envy need to face their pasts before they can have a future.

  *This is book 1 of 3 in the Blood and Envy Series*

  All books are available now.

  Blood and Envy Series

  Behind my Mask (Blood and Envy Book #1)

  Under my Skin (Blood and Envy Book #2)

  Inside my Heart (Blood and Envy Book #3)

  Every muscle in my body screamed out for a break. I ran on borrowed energy, wrung out from every fiber of my being by sheer willpower alone. I had to go on, to persevere. My vision blurred with droplets of sweat. My lungs burned with a fire stoked by short gasping breaths.

  I craved this feeling - the high that came when I pushed my body to the precipice of its breaking point, the sweet pain that preceded pure mind-quieting exhaustion. I needed to be numb to get through the day. Hell, to get through my life.

  Daily training allowed me to prepare for the unknown.

  Some people ran to music.

  I ran to escape my demons.

  Unlike other people, who were endlessly trying to escape their own vices, my demons were all too real. It was only a matter of time before my impending torture ceased to play out in my mind and materialized into bloody fists and broken bones. My battered body dumped into an unmarked grave, deteriorating into the dirt where it belonged.

  On good days, my spirit ran unhindered through Muir Woods just before dusk. The image of the setting sun illuminating the giant Redwoods brought a smile to my face and gave me the added energy to push through the last leg of my ten-mile run.

  On bad days, no matter how fast I pumped my legs, my worst fears always ran faster. The heavy feet of leather-clad demons drowned out the beat of my heart and transformed me into a scared little girl all over again.

  I squeezed my eyes tight. Even though I wanted to forget that day, the memory slammed into my head with absolute clarity.

  ***

  The air shimmered above the pavement, each molecule frantically dancing to avoid the scorching torture of stillness. Sweat trickled out of places that I didn’t even know could perspire, making me wish for once in my life that we owned a car with air conditioning like everyone else. Instead, I had to settle for what my Dad called, “God’s air conditioning.” I think God could do better than the torrid Santa Anna winds that splattered an endless supply of bugs on my helmet, but I never brought this point up with my Dad. He wasn’t a man you won arguments against.

  “Earth to Envy.” My Dad waved his pointer finger across my line of sight like a cop conducting a sobriety test at a DWI checkpoint.

  My eyes fluttered, then focused on his face. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

  “Good, I thought you might have gotten heat stroke or something. You looked like a goddamn zombie.”

  “If I don’t get some ice cream in a minute, I might turn into one.” I grinned and hopped off my Dad’s Harley. Almost immediately, feeling ten degrees cooler.

  Everyone in town seemed to have the same idea. Dotty’s was packed. Children ran around with ruddy faces and grimy hands while their parents tried to control them with slightly embarrassed grins and quick apologies. Most people ferried their ice cream back to climate-controlled cars, licking the melting goodness on the way. Few stayed to eat their ice cream outside on the picnic tables.

  On the edge of the parking lot a group of guys from my class were playing hacky sack. They milled about the way people my age did, too cool to show they were affected by the heat. None of them were my type, but nevertheless, I still didn’t want to be seen. Ducking down, I pretended to tie my shoes.

  My Dad took off his jacket, exposing his heavily tatted arms, and hung it on the handlebar of his bike. “Hey, aren’t those guys in your class?” He pointed to the hacky sack gang across the way.

  He didn’t miss a thing.

  “No!” I blurted out, resisting the urge to jump up and smack his hand down. “I have no idea who they are.” I held my breath, hoping my nonchalance would pay off. Knowing my Dad, he would invite them over for ice cream just to embarrass me.

  “Uh huh, right.” He shook his head. A crooked grin spread slow across his face. “You’re going to have to stand up at some point Envy. Your shoes don’t even have laces.”

  Shit.

  I was wearing ballet flats.

  Rolling my eyes, I stood up. “Can we get this over with?” I blew a stray hair out of my face and crossed my arms. If not with the hacky sack gang, my Dad would find a way to embarrass me before the day was through, of that I was sure.

  “So what kind of ice cream do you want baby girl?”

  I looked around to make sure nobody heard him. “Dad, I’m not a little girl anymore,” I said, letting my annoyance with being constantly infantilized by my parents make me sound more five than sixteen.

  He gave me a tired smile that crinkled the skin around his eyes and showed the wear and tear of his rough life. Lately, club business had taken up most of his time. There were a lot of problems that he shielded me from, but I wasn’t blind. The tension between my Dad and a group of the old timers was palpable.

  I fiddled with the leather fringe on my purse, feeling like a total shit for complaining.

  “I know,” he relented, “you’re turning into quite the young lady. But to me you’ll always be my baby girl. You’ll understand someday when you’re a parent.”

  According to both of my parents, there were a lot of things that I couldn’t possibly understand until I was older and had a child of my own. Although they imparted this wisdom regularly, I seriously doubted that my entire worldview would change the second I popped out a kid. I decided not to argue the point and gave my Dad a break. “Just not in public okay?”

  He pinched
my cheek. “Okay baby girl.”

  “Come on!” I slapped my thigh. “We just talked about that.”

  “Fine.” He laughed and dug into his pocket until he found a toothpick. He was trying to quit smoking and kept a steady supply of gum, toothpicks, mints, and other things that he could pop into his mouth when he needed a fix. The toothpick rested on his lips, acting as a de facto cigarette. “Are you too old to have ice cream with your Dad…in public?” he asked, the sarcasm dripping off his voice like slow molasses on pancakes.

  I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think you’re ever too old to have ice cream with your Dad.”

  “Phew.” He gave me a sweet crooked grin and wiped the sweat off his brow. “What are you up for?”

  I ordered the same thing every time. “Bubblegum on a sugar cone please.”

  “Coming right up baby…” He paused and smiled. “It’s hard not to call you that. We need to get you a nickname.”

  “Like the bikers in your MC?”

  “Exactly.”

  I had always wanted a nickname. My name was pretty short and I didn’t have anything that stood out about my appearance, like a distinguishing scar or a gold tooth. I smiled and wrinkled my nose, trying to think of my very own badass biker nickname.

  I had nothing.

  “I’m at a loss. You have to think of one. Besides,” I continued, “a nickname is better if someone else gives it to you.”

  “I’ll probably regret this,” he sighed. “How about Vi?”

  Vi.

  Short for Envy.

  Clever.

  Perfect!

  “I love it.” I squealed and said it aloud, “Vi. Yeah, it sounds cool. A little dangerous. A little sexy.”