Tales From The Vulgar Unicorn tw-2

by Robert Lynn Asprin

  Us!

  All that morning, after the sick people started to arrive, Stulwig tried to put the thought of the god out of his mind. There were several persons who talked excessively about their ailments; and for a change he let them ramble on. The sound of each person's voice, in turn, distracted him for a precious time from his inner feeling of imminent disaster. He was accustomed to pay attention, to compare, and decide. And, somehow, through all the numbness he managed to hold onto that ability.

  A persistent stomach ache - 'What have you been eating?' The flower of the agris plant was exchanged for a silver coin.

  A pain in the chest. 'How long? Where, exactly?' The root of the dark melles was eaten and swallowed while he watched, in exchange for one small Rankan gold piece.

  Persistently bleeding gums. The flower and seeds of a rose, and the light brown grindings from the husk of grain were handed over, with the instruction: 'Take a spoonful each morning and night.' , -

  There were a dozen like that. All were anxious and disturbed. And they took up his time until the morning was almost over. Suddenly, the visitors ceased to come. At once, there was the awful thought of Ils the Mighty, angry with him.

  'What could he want of me?'

  That was the persistent question. Not, what purpose could Alten Stulwig have in this awful predicament? But what intention did the super-being have in relation to him? Or what did he require of him?

  It was almost the noon hour before the second possibility finally penetrated the madness of merely waiting for further signals. And the more personal thought took form.

  'It's up to me. I should ask certain people for advice, or even-' sudden hope 'information.'

  Just like that he had something he could do.

  At that moment there was one more patient. And then, as the rather stocky woman departed with her little leather bag clutched in one greasy hand, Stulwig hastily put on his street boots. Grabbed his stave. And, moments later, was heading down the stairs two at a time.

  Arrived at the bottom; naturally, he paused. And peered forth cautiously. The narrow street, as he now saw it, pointed both left and right. The nearest crossing was an alleyway to the left. And Stulwig presumed, as his gaze flicked back and forth, Illyra, on her leave-taking that morning, had turned up that alley.

  -Though it was still not clear why she had gone left when her stall was to the right. Going by the alley was, for her, a long, devious route home...

  His own destination, already decided, required Stulwig to pass her stall. And so, his stave at the ready, he walked rightwards. A few dozen steps brought him to a crowded thoroughfare. Again, a pause. And, once more, his gaze flicking back and forth. Not that he felt in danger here, at this hour. What he saw was a typical throng. There were the short people who wore the sheeny satinish cloth of west Caronne. They mingled casually with the taller folk in dark tunics from the far south of the Empire. Equally at ease were red-garbed sailors on shore leave from a Cleean vessel. Here and there a S'danzo woman in her rich attire reminded him of Illyra. There were other races, and other dress, of course. But these were more of a kind. The shabby poor. The thieves. The beggars. All too similar, one to the other, to be readily identified.

  For a few moments, as he stood there, Stulwig's own problem faded from the forefront of his mind. In its place came a feeling he had had before: a sense of wonder.

  Me! Here in this fantastic world.

  All these people. This street, with its ancient buildings, its towers, and its minarets. And the meaning of it all going back and back into the dim reaches of a fabulous history.

  Almost - standing there - Stulwig forgot where he was heading. And when the memory came again it seemed to have a different form.

  A more practical form. As if what he had in mind was a first step of several that would presently lead him to - what? Mental pause. .

  It was, he realized, the first dim notion of having a goal beyond mere information. First, of course, the facts; those he had to have.

  Somehow, everything was suddenly clearer. As he started forwards it was almost as if he had a purpose with a solution implicit in it.

  Illyra's stall he passed a short time later. Vague disappointment, then, as he saw that the black curtains were drawn.

  Stulwig stalked on, heading west out of town across the bridge which spanned the White Foal River. He ignored the hollow-eyed stares of the Downwinders as he passed their hovels, and only slowed his pace when he reached his destination, a large estate lorded over by a walled mansion. A sell-sword stood guard just inside the large, spreading yard. Theirs was a language Stulwig understood. He took out two coppers and held them forth. -

  'Tell Jubal that Alien Stulwig wishes to see him.'

  The coppers were skilfully palmed, and transferred to a slitted pocket in the tight-fitting toga. In a baritone voice the sell-sword called out the message -

  Stulwig entered the throne room, and saw that gleaming-skinned black man sitting on the throne chair. He bowed courteously- towards the throne. Whereupon Jubal waved one large arm, beckoning his visitor. And then he sat scowling as Stulwig told his story. ;,

  Despite the scowl, there was no resistance, or antagonism, in the bright, wicked eyes; only interest. Finally, as Stulwig fell silent, the merchant said, 'You believe, as I understand you, that one or another of my numerous paid informants may have heard something at the time of your father's death that would provide a clue: information, in short, that is not even available from a sorceress.'

  'I so believe,' acknowledged Stulwig.

  'And how much will you pay if I can correctly recall something that was said to me in passing more than three long years ago?'

  Stulwig hesitated; and hoped that his desperation did not show on that sunburned face of his; it was the one thing the chapped skin was good for: sometimes it enabled him to conceal his feelings. What he sensed now was a high cost; and the best outward show for that was to act as if this was a matter about which he was merely curious. 'Perhaps,' he said, in his best practical tone, 'your next two visits for healing free-'

  'For what I remember,' said the big black, 'the price is the medium Rankan gold piece and the two visits.'

  Long, unhappy pause. All this trouble and cost for an innocent man who, himself, had done nothing. It seemed unfair. 'Perhaps,' ventured Stulwig, 'if you were to give me the information I could decide if the price is merited.'

  He was slightly surprised when Jubal nodded. 'That seems reasonable. We're both men of our word.' The big man twisted his lips, as if he were considering. Then: 'The morning after your father died, a night prowler who watches the dark hours for me saw Vashanka come through your door - not out of it, through it. He was briefly a figure of dazzling light as he moved down the street. Then he vanished in a blinding puff of brightness akin to lightning. The flareup, since it lit up the entire street, was seen by several other persons, who did not know its origin.'

  Jubal continued, 'I should tell you that there is an old story that a god can go through a wall or a door only if a second god is nearby on the other side. So we may reason that for Vashanka to be able to emerge in the fashion described there was another god outside. However, my informants did not see this second mighty being.'

  'Bu-u-t-t!' Stulwig heard a stuttering voice. And only when the mad sound collapsed into silence did he realize that it was his own mouth that had tried to speak.

  What he wanted to say, what was trying to form in his mind" and in his tongue was that, for Vashanka to have penetrated into the barricaded greenhouse in the first place, then there must already have been a god inside; who had somehow inveigled his way past his father's cautious resistance to night-time visitors.

  The words, the meaning, wouldn't come. The logic of it was too improbable for Stulwig to pursue the matter.

  Gulping, he fumbled in his pocket. Identified the desired coin with his fingers. Brought it ont. And laid it into the outstretched palm. The price was cheap - it was as if a voice inside him spoke
his acceptance of that truth.

  For a while after Stulwig left Jubal's grounds, his feeling was that he had now done what there was to do. He had the information he had craved. So what else was there? Go home and - and -Back to normalcy.

  It was an unfortunate way of describing the reality to himself. It brought a mental picture of a return to his daily routine as if no warning had been given. His deep, awful feeling was that something more was expected of him. What could it be?

  It was noon. The glowing orb in the sky burned down upon Stulwig. His already miserably sunburned face itched abominably, and he kept scratching at the scabs; and hating himself because his sun-sensitive skin was his one disaster that no herb or ointment seemed to help. And here he was stumbling in the direct rays, making it worse.

  He was walking unsteadily, half-blinded by his own inner turmoil and physical discomfort, essentially not heeding the crowds around him when ... the part of him that was guiding him, holding him away from collisions, helping him find a pathway through an everchanging river of people - that part, still somehow observant, saw a familiar man's face.

  Stulwig stopped short. But already the man was gone by; his feet scraping at the same dusty street as were the feet of a dozen other passers of the moment; scraping dust and breathing it in.

  Normally, Stulwig would have let him go. But this was not a normal time. He spun around. He jammed his stave against the ground as a brace. And took four, long, swift steps. He reached.

  Almost gently, then, his fingers touched the sleeve and, through it, the arm of the man. 'Cappen Varra,' Stulwig said.

  The young man with the long black hair that rested on his shoulders turned his head. The tone ofStulwig's voice was evidently not threatening; for Cappen merely paused without tensing. Nor did he make a quick reach of the hand towards the blade at his side.

  But it took several moments before he seemed to realize who his interceptor was. Then: 'Oh! the healer?' He spoke questioningly.

  Stulwig was apologetic. 'I would like to speak to you, sir. Though, as I recall it you only sought my services on one occasion. And I think somebody told me that you had recently departed from Sanctuary for a visit to your distant home.'

  The minstrel did not reply immediately. He was backing off, away from the main stream of that endlessly moving crowd; backing towards a small space between a fruit stand and a table on which stood a dozen small crates, each containing a half-dozen or so small, live, edible, noisy birds.

  Since Stulwig had shuffled after him, Cappen was able to say in a low voice, 'It was a very decisive time for me. The herbs you gave me produced a series of regurgitations which probably saved my life. I still believe I was served poisoned food.'

  'I need advice,' said Alten Stulwig.

  'We can talk here,' said Cappen.

  It was not an easy story to tell. There was a rise and fall of street sounds. Several times he coughed from an intake of dust thrown at him by the heel of a passerby. But in the end he had completed his account. And it was then, suddenly, that the other man's eyes widened, as if a startling thought had come to him.

  'Are you telling me that you are seriously pursuing the murderer of your father, despite that you have now discovered that the killer may well be the second most powerful Rankan god?'

  It was the first time that meaning had been spoken so exactly. Stulwig found himself suddenly as startled as his questioner. Before he could say anything, the lean-faced, good-looking wandering singer spoke again: 'What - what happens if he ever

  lets you catch up with him?'

  The way the question was worded somehow steadied the healer. He said, 'As we know, Vashanka can come to me any time he wishes. My problem is that I do not know why he came to my father, nor why he would come to me? If I could find that out, then perhaps I could go to the temple of Ils and ask the priests for help.'

  Cappen frowned, and said, 'Since you seem to have these powerful purposes, perhaps I should remind you of the myth.' He went on: 'You know the story. Vashanka is the god of warriors and weapons, the wielder of lightning, and other powerful forces. You know of this?'

  'What I don't understand,' Stulwig replied helplessly, 'is why would such a being kill my father?'

  'Perhaps-' a shrug - 'they were rivals for the affection of the same woman.' He went on, 'It is well known that the gods frequently assume human form in order to have concourse with human females.' The beautiful male face twisted. The bright eyes gazed into Stulwig's. 'I have heard stories,' Cappen said, 'that you, as your father before you, often accept a woman's favours in exchange for your services as a healer; the woman having nothing else to give pays the price in the time-honoured way of male-female. As a consequence you actually have many half-brothers out there in the streets, and you yourself - so it has been said have sired a dozen sons and daughters, unacknowledged because of course no one can ever be sure who is the father of these numerous waifs, unless there is unmistakable facial resemblance.'

  Another shrug. 'I'm not blaming you. These are the truths of our world. But-'

  He stopped. His hand extended gingerly, and touched Stulwig's stave. 'It's tough wood.'

  Stulwig was uneasy. 'Awkward to handle in close quarters, and scarcely a weapon to ward off the god of lightning.'

  'Nevertheless,' said Cappen, 'it's your best defence. Use it firmly. Keep it between you and any attacker. Yield ground and flee only when there's a good moment.'

  'But,' protested Stulwig, 'suppose Vashanka seeks me out? Shall I pit my staff against the Rankan god of war?' When Cappen merely stood there, looking indifferent now, the healer continued in a desperate tone, 'There are stories of how Ils helped individuals in battle in the old days. But I grew up after the' Rankan conquest and -' he was gloomy - ' somehow the powers of the defeated god of old Ilsig didn't seem worth inquiring about. So I'm ignorant of what he did, or how.'

  Abruptly, Cappen Varra was impatient. 'You asked for my advice,' he said curtly. 'I have given it to you. Goodbye.'

  He walked off into the crowd.

  They brought Stulwig before the prince, who recognized him. 'Why, it's the healer,' he said. Whereupon, he glanced question-ingly at Molin Torchbearer.

  The hall of justice was all too brightly lit by the mid-afternoon sunlight. The sun was at that location in the sky whereby its rays shone directly through the slanting vents that were designed to catch, and siphon off, rain water ... as the high priest said accusingly, 'Your most gracious excellency, we found this follower of Ils in the temple of Vashanka.'

  With the brilliant light pouring down upon him, Stulwig started towards the dais - and the two Hell Hounds, who had been holding him, let him go.

  He stopped only when he came to the long wooden barrier that separated the accused criminals from the high seat, where the prince sat in judgement. From that fence, Stulwig spoke his protest. 'I did no harm, your highness. And I meant no harm. Tell his excellency-' he addressed Torchbearer - 'that your assistants found me on my knees before the-' he hesitated; he had been about to say 'the idol'. Uneasily, his mind moved over to the word, 'statue'. But he rejected that also, shuddering. After a long moment he finished lamely - 'before Vashanka himself, praying for his assistance.'

  'Yes, but a follower of Ils praying to a son of Savankala-' Torchbearer was grim - 'absolutely forbidden by the doctrines of our religion.'

  There seemed to be no answer that he could make. Feeling helpless, Stulwig waited. It was a year since he had last seen the youthful governor, who would now decide his fate. Standing there, Stulwig couldn't help but notice that there were changes in the young ruler's appearance - for the better, it seemed to him.

  The prince, as all knew, was at this time twenty years old. He had been representative in Sanctuary for his older half-brother, the emperor, for only one of those years, but that year had brought a certain maturity where once there had been softness. It was still a boyish face, but a year of power had marked it with an appearance of confidence.

  The young
governor seemed undecided, as he said, 'Well - it does not look like a serious crime. I should think we would encourage converts rather than punishing them.' He hesitated, then followed the amenities. 'What penalty do you recommend?' He addressed the high priest of Rankan deities courteously.

  There was a surprisingly long pause. Almost, it was as if the older man was having second thoughts. Torchbearer said finally, 'Perhaps, we should inquire what he was praying for. And then decide.'

  'An excellent idea,' the prince agreed heartily.

  Once more, then, Stulwig told his story, ending in a humble tone, 'Therefore, sir, as soon as I discovered that, apparently, the great gods themselves were involved in some disagreement, I decided to pray to Vashanka to ask what he wanted me to do; asked him what amends I could make for whatever my sin might be.'

  He was surprised as he completed his account to see that the prince was frowning. And, in fact, moments later, the young governor bent down towards one of the men at a table below him to one side, and said something in a low voice. The aide's reply was equally inaudible.

  The youngest ruler Sanctuary had ever had thereupon faced forwards. His gaze fixed on Stulwig's face. 'There are several people in these parts,' he said in an alarmingly severe voice, 'of whose whereabouts we maintain a continuing awareness. Cappen Varra, for several reasons, is one of these. And so, Mr Healer, I have to inform you that Cappen left Sanctuary half a moon ago, and is not expected back for at least two more moons.'

  'B-b-bu-ut-' Stulwig began. And stopped. Then in a high-pitched voice: 'That man in the seeress's dream!' he stuttered. 'Long black hair to the shoulders. Ils in human form!'

  There was silence after he had spoken there in that great hall of justice, where a youthful Rankan prince sat in judgement, looking down from his high bench. Other offenders were waiting in the back of the room. They were guarded by slaves, with the two Hell Hounds that had brought Stulwig acting as overseers.