Ticket 1207

by Robin Alexander

  “I’m fine as long as I don’t breathe, and I’m fresh outta spells to make my phone fly over from the counter, fool.”

  Jill took her jacket off and laid it over Theo. “It makes me sick to know you’ve been lying here all this time,” she said as she gazed at Theo’s backward foot. “I’m gonna throw up.”

  “Child, if you do that on me, I really will make a horn grow out of yo forehead. Go find a trash can.”

  Jill sat on the floor. “I’m just gonna focus on my breathing for a moment. That makes the nausea go away.”

  Theo stared at Jill as she closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her temples. “You ever break a bone?”

  “My arm when I was ten and my jaw when I was twenty-four.”

  “Bit an ass that was too hard?” Theo asked and tried to grin.

  Jill’s eyes remained closed. “Someone who didn’t appreciate being dumped punched me.”

  “You ain’t no good at picking women, are you?”

  Jill blinked and gazed at Theo. “I totally suck in that department.” She threw her hands up and let them fall into her lap. “And here I am, picking another one. What the hell am I doing?”

  “Ticket 1207 chose you, baby.”

  Jill jumped when someone opened the front door and announced that he was part of the rescue team. “They must’ve been at the coffee shop. Back here,” she yelled.

  *******

  Jill held Theo’s hand as the medics packaged her for transport. Big tears rolled down her cheeks when Theo screamed while they splinted her leg and foot. Theo shed a few tears of her own, but that didn’t stop her from making a few threats.

  “Boy! You twist my foot like that again, and I’ll put something on you that’ll make your nuts look like pecans!”

  Jill smiled at the paramedic. “The horn she gave me went away after a day or two, and it was really only a nub.”

  Rene rushed in looking frazzled. “What’s going on?”

  “Theo fell,” Jill explained.

  “Bullshit! Marie shoved me down the stairs,” Theo ground out with a grimace.

  The medic Theo had just insulted stopped what he was doing and gazed at her with alarm. “Ma’am, I thought you said you fell down the stairs. Someone pushed you?”

  “My aunt shoved me,” Theo rasped.

  The paramedic turned to his partner. “We need to call this in as an assault.”

  “There’s only one problem, Marie’s dead.” Jill smiled. “The police are gonna have one hell of a time trying to get the cuffs on her.”

  “You’re telling me there’s a dead woman upstairs?” the medic asked as he grabbed his radio off his hip.

  “Oh, she’s all over the place,” Rene added. “That’s why Theo has to wear a chicken foot. She’s a very mean ghost.”

  “A ghost,” the medic said slowly with a nod. “Gotcha.”

  “Don’t put her in a psych ward, she’s not crazy,” Jill said worriedly.

  Theo squeezed Jill’s hand. “Now listen to me, baby jackass. My keys are in the drawer next to the register. I need you to lock up. Rene, fetch my purse, baby, it’s under the cabinet there.” She smiled when Jill kissed her cheek. “I’m gon’ be just fine now, don’t you worry.” The next comment was directed to the medics. “You gon’ get my broken-up ass to the hospital today or what?”

  Jill followed as the medics pushed the stretcher through the store. “Who do you need me to call? Do you want me to come with you?”

  “No, baby, just lock up my store before some fool comes in here and gets ahold of something that’ll make a tail grow out they ass. Boy! Why don’t you just run into every damn thing in here? You better be glad you got me tied down to this thing, or I’d shrink yo head!”

  Jill and Rene watched as the medics loaded Theo into the ambulance. Jill sighed as she walked over to the register and locked it. “Poor Theo.”

  “We should write something on her sign,” Rene said as she pulled it from the window. “Something crazy like she does.”

  Jill thought for a moment. “Chicken foot is an epic fail, and I broke my tail.”

  “It did its job. She didn’t die, did she? Think of something better.”

  “Closed due to injury. Shop anywhere else while I’m out, and I’ll give you gout.”

  “That does sound like Theo,” Rene said with a nod.

  “Just say that she’s closed due to illness and will reopen soon.”

  *******

  With a backpack slung over her shoulder, Shawn knocked on the door behind the jewelry store. Jill opened it with a smile, and instead of walking in, Shawn simply stared at her. “Did you freeze to the ground?” Jill asked with a laugh.

  “I’ve been waiting all day for this moment,” Shawn said as she leaned in and kissed her. “I missed you.”

  “What’s going on with us?” Jill asked dreamily.

  “Whatever it is, I’m rolling with it.”

  Jill took Shawn by the hand and dragged her inside. “Theo fell today and broke her ankle. I went to ask about the powder and found her. She had surgery this afternoon. Oh, Shawn, you should’ve seen it, her foot was turned the wrong way. I have no idea how you fix something like that. I called the hospital, and they put her daughter on the phone. She had to have pins and plates put into her leg.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

  “She was very lucky,” Jill said as she opened the door to her apartment. “She has a lot of bruises, but her ankle was the only thing broken. I guess the chicken foot was off-duty.”

  Shawn took off her shoes and set them by the door. “What?”

  “That foot she wears around her neck is supposed to protect her from Marie—her dead aunt who haunts her—but it didn’t work today. Theo could’ve been killed.”

  Shawn pulled a very frazzled Jill into her arms and held her tightly. “I know finding Theo that way was upsetting. Is that what has you so troubled?”

  Jill closed her eyes and basked in Shawn’s embrace. She’d forgotten how soothing it was to simply be held after a distressing day. “It was like going back to reality this morning after our magical time together. Theo’s talisman didn’t protect her, and I worried that the powder…I’m so stupid.”

  “No, you’re not.” Shawn nuzzled the side of Jill’s neck. “I’ve dealt with fears today, too, but when I got here and you opened that door and I saw that ‘I’m so happy to see you’ look, I knew my worries were a waste of time.”

  “I am so happy to see you, to be in your arms.” Jill pulled back and gazed at Shawn. “I made lasagna for dinner. I want to feed you, rub your back, hear all about your day. I want to do this every night.”

  Shawn took her hand and kissed it. “I’m all for making that wish come true.”

  *******

  Theo’s store remained closed for a few days, but on Sunday, there was a sign in the window announcing a sale. Shawn had stepped onto the balcony with a cup of coffee and watched as two women entered the store. “Jill! Theo’s open!”

  The laundry that Jill was carrying to the washroom fell onto the living room floor. “Let’s go!”

  Both of them put on their shoes and raced down the stairs. They went through the jewelry store, and Shawn jogged in place as Jill locked up the shop. Together, they ran inside the voodoo shop expecting to see Theo, but another woman was ringing up purchases at the register. As soon as the customers departed, Jill and Shawn approached the woman hand in hand.

  “I’m Jill, better known as jackass, and this is Shawn. We’re from across the street, and we were hoping to see Theo in here today.”

  “Momma’s on house arrest. I’m Sharon, we spoke on the phone,” she said with a smile. “Thank you so much for coming to her rescue.”

  Jill shook her hand. “And thank you for all the updates. So she’s confined to her bed?”

  “Girl, we can barely keep her in the house. My sister Candace is on patrol now. Momma will get on those crutches and try to sneak out, that’s why we had to put bell
s on them. Moss doesn’t grow on that woman. She’d be up here right now if she could. And bad mood, whew! She’s fussing at us all, even the grandbabies.”

  Jill smiled. “Well, she sounds like she’s back to normal, except for the limited mobility.”

  Sharon nodded, grabbed a piece of paper, and wrote an address on it. “If you dare, you can pay her a visit. She’d probably like the company.” She handed the paper to Jill. “She’s been talking a lot about ‘baby jackass.’ Her name calling is a sigh of affection.”

  “We sure will,” Jill said with a glance at Shawn.

  *******

  “This isn’t the swamp,” Jill said as she drove past well-maintained homes in a nice neighborhood. “Theo told Rene she lives in the swamp with an alligator guarding her place.”

  Shawn pointed to one of the yards. “There’s a gator. Granted, it’s made of cement. It’s also guarding the house we’re looking for. Does the koi pond qualify as a swamp?”

  “Apparently, in Theo’s opinion.” Jill turned into the driveway and killed the engine of her car. “I’ll carry in the cakes, you grab the flowers.”

  “I sense a trust issue forming between us,” Shawn said as she brushed crumbs of the petit four she’d swiped. “It was a bonus cake. There’s still a dozen in the box.”

  Jill brushed more crumbs from Shawn’s chin. “Yeah, your whimpering at the bakery paid off, and there were four bonus cakes.”

  “I fed you one.”

  “You’re the cutest little pig I’ve ever seen.”

  “I’m going to take that as a compliment,” Shawn said with a laugh and handed Jill the box of cakes.

  They got out of the car, and Jill noticed a little boy sitting on the porch surrounded by plastic army men. She smiled at him as they approached. “Is Theo your grandma?”

  “If you’re selling stuff, I’m posta tell you to go away,” he said.

  “They’re fine,” a woman said as she opened the screen door. “Son, it’s much too cool for you to be sitting out here on that cold cement.”

  “I’m warm, Momma, I got a blanket.”

  The woman smiled at Jill and Shawn. “I’m Candace, and I know who you are. Sharon called me and said you’d be coming.” Her eyes flashed wide as she lowered her voice and said, “I’m so thankful. Momma’s not happy about having to stay home, but our dad gave Sharon and me strict orders to make sure she stays put. I think your company will brighten her day. I didn’t tell her you were coming, I wanted it to be a surprise.”

  “We won’t stay long. I’m sure she needs her rest,” Jill said.

  “Oh, honey, y’all stay as long as you want. You keeping her occupied gives me a break.” Candace patted Dalton on the head. “I’ll be back out here in a minute. You stay on the porch, got me?”

  Dalton nodded. “I will.”

  Shawn expected Theo’s house to look a lot like the store, but there were no shrunken heads, bottles, or poultice bags. Instead, there were pictures of children adorning the wall in the foyer, and they all favored Theo. The furnishings were nice, and Christmas decorations were still up, giving the house a cheery appeal.

  “Momma,” Candace called out as they entered the den. “You have company.”

  Theo, Jill, and Shawn all stared at one another in shock. Theo was dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants and a dark green sweater. Her hair was down and styled. Without the wild printed dresses and matching turbans, she looked like anyone else. Her expression brightened for a second, then morphed into a scowl.

  “Candace, I told you I don’t see no customers in my home!”

  “Drop the act, Momma, these people are your friends. Look at the gifts they brought you. Show some respect.” Candace smiled at Shawn as she took the flowers. “I’ll just go put these in water and make some coffee.”

  “Act?” Jill said as her brow rose.

  Theo looked totally deflated. “Please excuse my manners. I really am happy to see y’all. Make yourselves at home.” She smiled as Jill and Shawn sat on the loveseat. “You two look happy. I imagine you’ve already gone out on a few dates by now.”

  “You’re not really a voodoo priestess, are you?” Shawn said.

  “My mother really was. She had the gift of healing, and she tended many people who couldn’t afford to see doctors. Unfortunately, I was never able to master that ability.”

  Jill nodded. “So it truly is just power of persuasion.”

  “I have Momma’s recipes for the balms she used to make.” Theo sighed. “My shop is a novelty for tourists, but I do have a little power of my own. You both saw me dressed in that garb, noticed the way I spoke, and I’m sure some part of you did believe that I was legit. Power of persuasion is just that, it’s powerful. Look at you two. You’re obviously a couple.”

  “We are,” Jill said as Shawn took her hand. “So the powder was…what?”

  “A little flour, salt, and the wish of an old woman to see you happy. Y’all did the rest.” Theo held up a finger. “The first day I came into your store and saw you two together, I sensed the tension between you. I knew a little nudge was all y’all required.” Theo pointed at Shawn. “You already had the confidence, you just needed to be reminded of that. And, Jill, baby, you needed to be reminded that you are worthy of being loved. Before you judge me too harshly, consider that people pay therapists a lot more money than I charge to do the same thing.”

  Shawn narrowed her eyes. “I’m gonna have to mull the last part of your statement a bit.”

  “This is so Wizard of Oz,” Jill said with a blank stare.

  “Perfect match! You’re both hardheaded.”

  Jill shook her head. “I…I can’t wrap my brain around this. Your face is the only thing I recognize. You haven’t called me a fool or a jackass.” Her shoulders slumped. “I kinda miss that.”

  “Give her a little while, and you’ll get plenty of that,” Candace said as she walked into the room with a tray.

  “You can hush and pour me a cup,” Theo said, giving Candace the eye.

  “This is for Jill and Shawn. Caffeine makes you hyper and harder to control.”

  “This is why I need to be back up in my damn shop! I’m gonna start bustin’ some ass up in this place if y’all don’t stop treating me like an invalid. Y’all ain’t doin’ nothin’ but pissin’ me off and gettin’ my blood pressure up.”

  Shawn clapped her hands together with a big grin. “Theo’s back!”

  “Ladies, help yourself to the cream and sugar,” Candace said and pointed to the two cups on the tray. “I need to step outside and check on my boy, he’s got a lot of his grandmother in him.”

  Theo stared longingly at the cup as Jill added a spoonful of cream and sugar to it. “That’s just how I take mine,” she said sadly.

  “Cover me, Shawn.” Jill took the cup over to Theo and handed it to her. “This is the least I can do because all of your persuasion enabled me to catch one hot woman.”

  “That would be me,” Shawn said with a smile as she raised her cup.

  “But when you get better, I’m gonna bust yo ass for playin’ me. You little fart!”

  Theo laughed. “That just doesn’t sound right coming out of your mouth.”

  Jill knelt on the floor beside the sofa and gazed at Theo’s leg propped up on a pillow. “How’re you feeling?”

  “The first couple of days, I ached from head to toe. My ankle throbs every now and then, but it doesn’t hurt as bad as I feared it would.”

  “How’d the chicken foot fare?”

  Theo took a sip of her coffee and pulled it from beneath her sweater. “I think the bag that you gave me helped protect it.”

  “You’re still wearing that thing?” Jill asked with a bewildered expression.

  “It’ll be on my neck until I die, then I’m gonna leave it to Candace because that child gets on every last nerve I have.”

  “These will go well with your coffee,” Shawn said as she opened the box of cakes and set them on the table next to Theo. />
  Theo reached into the box with a sigh. “Oh, I feel the love.”

  Jill was still staring at the pouch resting on Theo’s stomach. “So that’s a real talisman.”

  “Mm-hmm,” Theo said and rolled her eyes when she bit into one of the petit fours. “Marie is, too, and I’m not crazy. Candace and Sharon have both seen her. She pesters my husband the most. He says she pulls on his toes when he’s sleeping.”

  Shawn happily reached into the box of cakes when Theo motioned for her to do so and said, “A guy I work with talks to his dead dog. One of the other guys lost a knife that he had an emotional attachment to in a greenhouse. Carl told him that Muttley said it was in a drain, even told him what section it was located in. That’s exactly where they found it.”

  “Maybe Carl spotted it and wanted everyone to believe his dead dog was talking to him,” Jill said with a tone of suspicion.

  Shawn shrugged. “I’m going with the dog story. I’d like to think our loved ones are close by just waiting for us to talk to them.”

  Theo touched Jill’s cheek. “You’ve snagged yourself a romantic. She’ll change your world if you let her.”

  Jill gazed at Shawn with a smile. “She already has.”

  *******

  “You really believe in ghosts?” Jill asked as she drove them back to her place.

  “I like to keep an open mind. It helps my psychic vision, and I’m getting one right now.” Shawn pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. “I see a marriage proposal—you’re down on one knee…I’m fanning my face like a beauty queen who’s just been crowned. We’re eloping…you’re making me climb over the balcony for some crazy tradition. I fall—on you, but there’s a happy ending, a sunset, doves, the whole enchilada.”

  Jill looked away from the road for a second. “There’s only one problem with your vision. I would never climb over my balcony, much less make you do it. Did you say there was an enchilada in our future?”

  Shawn nodded. “I could eat.”

  Epilogue

  Two days before Christmas the following year…

  Shawn reached down and grabbed a handful of pistachios when Jill stopped the train next to her chair. She clamped her eyes shut when the train emitted a shrill whistle. “Honey, that went right up my spine and jarred my brain.”