Rise

by Danielle Racey

  Victoria charged forward, abandoning all attempts concerning Roman’s comfort. As she marched steadily on, she could feel his body sliding clumsily over the earth behind her. Now that she knew he wasn’t dead, Victoria chuckled at the thought of Roman waking up, covered in twigs and mud, with only her word for what had happened in the woods. She giggled at all the obscene things she could tell them, and he’d have no choice but to believe it. It was a pleasant thought, one that gave her company as she traipsed through the black night.

  After what felt like almost an hour later, Victoria rounded on a campfire. She was sure that this was the one she had left Sister Katherine at, last, but as she neared, she was sure she heard more than one voice. In fact, there were several, and they seemed to be having a grand old time. Victoria looked down at Roman, who at this point, was caked in mud from the forehead down. Not a single bit of him had been spared. Even the inside of his mouth, as his tongue lolled open, had a considerable amount of dirt inside. Victoria groaned. This must be the initiation rite Raela was hinting at. As she crept closer to the campsite, to her surprise, she saw a crowd of people.

  Sister Katherine was still sitting by the fire, sharpening daggers, but now, several other nuns, whom Victoria had never seen before, accompanied her, and they were chatting casually. Every so often they stopped to admire the gleam of the dagger’s metal in the firelight, but then returned to whatever it was they were discussing. A few paces away stood a group of men, all clutching large mugs. One man said something, and paused. Right on cue, the rest of the men erupted into laughter. For a moment, Victoria stood then, stunned. She had expected an entirely different scene, upon arrival. Perhaps Sister Katherine, solemnly congratulating her on her first job. Or even Raela. No, Raela wouldn’t’ give Victoria credit if her life depended on it, but Victoria didn’t need acknowledgement from Raela. All she needed to see was the look on her face. She smiled just thinking about it.

  Victoria stepped into the clearing, and immediately, the laughter ceased. Nearly twenty heads swiveled in her direction, and for just a moment, she wondered how silly she looked, carrying what probably looked like a dead body, back into camp. She stood there, waiting for someone to make the first move. The group of men on the left simply stood as well, most of them holding their mugs frozen mid-air. Sister Katherine put down her knife slowly, and got to her feet.

  “Well done, Victoria. Looks like you had…quite the time. You two were just supposed to give each other a hard time. You weren’t supposed to kill him.” Sister Katherine walked briskly over to Victoria, put two fingers to Roman’s neck, and let out a sigh of relief. “He’s not dead, Ammon. You can rest easy now." Victoria didn’t know who Ammon was, but the group of men on the left unfroze, and went back to their drinking and laughing, seemingly unperturbed. Sister Katherine leaned forward and took Roman into her arms, surprising Victoria with her strength. She watched as Sister Katherine half carried, half dragged Roman to a spot near the fire, and was soon pouring something down his throat.

  Victoria saw him come to a few moments later. He was startled, neck snapping every which way, as he took in the campsite, but otherwise unharmed. Victoria sighed, relieved and she inched closer to the campfire.

  After his frantic awakening, Roman had calmed down, and was now lying on his back. His elbows were bent back behind his head, and he was gazing up at the dark sky above, the soft light from the campfire illuminating only one side of his face. Victoria moved closer yet, until she was almost assuredly blocking his view of the sky. As her lengthening shadow merged with his, Roman’s eyes flickered towards her, and Victoria was at a loss for words. She was suddenly unsure as to why her feet had carried her over here. Or why she was now hovering awkwardly above him. Victoria followed his gaze to the sky, as she was still unable to come up with anything to say, but she could still feel Roman’s gaze burning into her.

  She looked down at him, tentatively. He held her gaze, and for a split second, it was as if they had hurtled backwards through time, and they were in the woods again. But the second passed, and Roman looked away, his gaze hard, unreadable, and now fixed permanently on the starry night.

  Victoria hovered there for another moment, but it was gone. What it was, she wasn’t sure, but she knew that it wasn’t coming back. She shuffled away, as gracefully as she could, and found a spot next to the fire, far away from Roman. She settled down on her haunches, and observed. Once again, she was shocked at the merriment that was going on in the midst of what she could have sworn, was an assassin’s camp. Her eyes found a wooden setup, that after much squinting, she identified as a makeshift bar. A jolly looking man, with a generous belly was pouring drinks, sloshing them about unconcernedly. Another man, whose face was obscured by the hood he was wearing stumbled over, took a drink, and slapped several stacks of money on the counter. “Nicholas, you’ve given me far too much money!” The bartender said with glee. Nicholas, whom Victoria presumed was the one with the hood, raised a hand, nonchalantly, and shouted “I’ve had a good show today. Keep it. I won’t need it.” Her eyes followed Nicholas as he rejoined the rest of the group.

  For a moment, the group just stood. A couple people on the edges milled about and Victoria tilted her head in curiosity, wondering what on earth they could be waiting for. Suddenly, from somewhere Victoria couldn’t place, someone strung a note. The note vibrated in the air, and then dissipated into silence. The group of people, in which could Victoria could now spot Sister Katherine, Raela, and Grace, visibly tensed. Unconsciously, Victoria tensed as well. A sudden movement across the fire alerted her to the fact that Roman must have sat up, and was now paying close attention to what was going on.

  Then, as suddenly as it has stopped, the music began again, only this time it was faster, louder, and to Victoria’s disbelief, seemed to be playing a dance tune. Her eyes snapped back to the crowd, but all she could see was a flurry of movement. Victoria scooted closer, and couldn’t help but smile when she noticed Sister Katherine dancing with a tall, cloaked man. She couldn’t see very well, as it was dark and all, but she could have sworn that Sister Katherine was smiling.

  Victoria looked sidelong at Roman. He was sitting up now, cross-legged, but still staring straight ahead. She tried to pinpoint his line of vision, but couldn’t find anything. He wasn’t staring at anything, she surmised, but rather, he was looking inwardly. A part of Victoria wanted to crawl over next to him, sit down cross-legged, and join him. But he just looked so distant, so far gone. She knew that look.

  Victoria remained by the fireside, and alternated between stealing glances at Roman, and watching the merry crowd. Soon, after what seemed like hours later, and the night, if it was at all possible, was at its darkest, the dancing began to wind down. The crowd dispersed, and several of the nuns began making their way back over to where Victoria sat. The monks, Victoria realized what they were with a start, began wandering back the opposite way. She heard a soft stirring to her right, and turned to see Roman getting up slowly. When he was standing, he raised his arms over his head, stretched, and began walking towards the forest. It wasn’t long before he disappeared into the forest, becoming nothing more than another black spot in the night.

  Victoria watched as the nuns began to clean up the campsite. She noticed Raela and her friends picking up discarded cups, but most of their effort, as usual, was directed towards gossiping. Victoria really couldn’t see what they could possibly be gossiping about, at all hours of the day, because last time she checked, they lived in a convent. Unless there was another secret society that she wasn’t aware of, Raela was likely just retelling the story of the farmer’s boy, from earlier. However, that didn’t stop Victoria from inching closer, instinctively. As much as she despised every inch of Raela, from her gap-toothed grin, to her pig squeal, she seemed to always be having a good time, and Victoria wanted to know why.

  Victoria picked up a discarded cup from the ground, and crushed it between her palms, as she crept closer to Raela. Although the night wa
s as dark as could be, Victoria could still see Raela’s two front teeth gleaming, like a great beacon of stupidity, in the darkness. “So, last night was fun. Really fun.” Victoria could see Raela wiggling her eyebrows, suggestively. One of her friends, the one with the long curly brown hair, gasped. Gloria, that’s her name, Gloria, Victoria remembered. Gloria leaned in closer to Raela, and the girl on the other side of Raela, whose name Victoria didn’t know, leaned in as well, nearly blocking Raela from view. “Just how fun was it?” One of them asked, and a slew of giggles followed the question.

  “Well, it was my first time there. I wish I’d had something better to wear, but now I know for next time. Next time, I’ll get my parents to lend me some money, somehow.” Raela said, wistfully.

  Victoria stepped back, in shock. She wasn’t quite sure that her ears were working correctly. She thought she had just heard Raela say something about going into the city, perhaps more than once, and that her parents were going to loan her money. Victoria wasn’t sure what baffled her more. The fact that Raela was allowed to go into the city, or that Raela had parents. Parents. As in, a mother and a father. The thought of having parents at all was rather bizarre to Victoria, as she of course, did not have any. Or rather, did not have any that she could truly refer to as parents.

  She suddenly became overwhelmed with a rush of curiosity. It occurred to Victoria, that she had never really pursued the mystery of her own parentage. She had assumed that she was an orphan, as was everyone in the convent. She had also assumed that traveling to the city simply wasn’t what good nuns do. But, she thought with a chuckle, if the events of the last 48 hours were any indication; good nuns do many things they shouldn’t. Victoria made a mental note to question Sister Katherine about this, even if she would have to endure one of her withering stares.

  As if on cue, Sister Katherine stepped into the firelight. She cleared her throat, and began to speak. Victoria, who had wandered away from the fire, strained her ears to listen.

  “Attention, Sisters. We’ve had a good night, tonight. Good food, good company, and an excellent showing, in terms of initiation rites. But now, it has come to an end. Have a good night everyone, and I hope to see you next time.”

  Victoria absorbed Sister Katherine’s minute speech, but something struck as rather odd. Sister Katherine had mentioned that she “hoped” to see everyone there “next time”, as if everyone wasn’t a part of the convent, and weren’t about to return to the same exact place. Victoria’s curiosity intensified, and before she knew it, her feet were carrying her in Sister Katherine’s direction. She had arrived in front of Sister Katherine before she could even voice the million questions floating about in her head. She imagined she looked rather silly, standing so expectantly in front of Sister Katherine. She smiled a bit awkwardly, and opened her mouth to speak. It wasn’t quite the most elegant way she had ever posed a question, but at the very least, it was straight to the point.

  “Why does Raela get to go to the city?” Victoria blurted, and she almost instinctively clapped a hand over her mouth. It was not that she had never asked the tough questions before, because she had, but the campsite had gone deathly quiet, at an inopportune time. Raela and her friends, for once, had stopped chattering, and were now inching over, in hopes of eavesdropping on the conversation.

  Sister Katherine smiled, and took Victoria by the arm. “Help me collect some of the trash around the edges, dear.” Victoria’s stomach dropped. Privacy was not something generally afforded in a convent, and the fact that Sister Katherine seemed to seek it, for this particular conversation, unnerved Victoria. As the two women moved towards the edge of the campsite, away from the glow of the fire, Victoria heard Raela’s giggling once more, and a snide “Of course she wouldn’t know.”

  Sister Katherine bent down to grab a crumpled cup, which she stuffed into the garbage bag she was carrying. Victoria rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet for a moment, before mimicking Sister Katherine. “Victoria, you asked why Raela is allowed to visit the city.” Victoria nodded her head, although she doubted Sister Katherine could see it in the dark. “She is allowed to go to the city, because she is not confined here. But, neither are you.” Sister Katherine bent down again, this time picking up what looked like a crushed candy wrapper. “I’m…I’m not confined to this convent. I can leave whenever I want?” “You are confined legally, as you are a ward of the convent. But I cannot stop you from visiting the city, or anywhere else for that matter.” “But, what about the daytime work? And the night work? As in…the Other Sisterhood.” Sister Katherine stuffed another piece of trash into the bag. “You must do the daytime work, as we are a functioning convent. That is what we do. But no one is forcing you to take the vows of a nun, or for that matter, take the vows of the Other Sisterhood”, Sister Katherine added wryly.

  “What?”

  “What do you mean, what? Victoria, I’ve just told you what you asked. I thought I was pretty clear.”

  “No, no.” Victoria stepped forward. “Do you mean to tell me, that this whole convent thing, when it comes down to it, is a choice?”

  At this, Sister Katherine turned to Victoria. Her eyes, although hardly ever filled with joy, seemed to be uncharacteristically sad.

  “Yes, Victoria. It is a choice, just like everything in life. You always have a choice.”

  “But, I’m a ward of the convent, you said. I didn’t have a choice in coming here. Where are my parents? Raela’s got some, and apparently, they send her money as well. She has some pretty nice things. Why don’t my parents send me money? Or is it because I haven’t got any?” The words came rushing out of Victoria’s mouth so fast, that she couldn’t stop them in time.

  “Victoria.” Sister Katherine stopped, and sighed. “Victoria.” She said again, as if she was trying to find the right way to word what she was about to say. “As I said before, Victoria. You always have a choice. I’m not sure if you were very observant tonight, but if you were, you might have noticed an unusual amount of so-called nuns.” Victoria nodded. “Not everyone in the Other Sisterhood is a nun, Victoria. As I told you, the Other Sisterhood is a choice, but so is joining the convent. I can’t speak for everyone you saw tonight, because many of them, I can’t say that I know very well. But I do know, that their reasons for joining the Other Sisterhood, as opposed to the traditional one, are likely not..honest. But, I cannot pass judgment, as I am a part of both. I do know that they must be looking for something, that they cannot find in the city, and perhaps in the world. As for Raela, Victoria, you must know that you are the only one here who is a ward of the convent. Ah, that is not a bad thing, dear, but that is how it is.”

  “But why me? Why is Raela here?”

  Sister Katherine took a deep breath, and continued. “Raela is here, due to the wishes of her parents. They believed that sending her here, might give some direction to her life. And, to answer the question you are probably thinking, Raela’s parents do love her very much, but they believed that this is what was best for her.”

  “And my parents?” Sister Katherine was silent for a moment, and Victoria’s question hung awkwardly in the air. “Your parents, are very much alive. But it would be better for you, if you considered them dead.” Sister Katherine’s mouth tightened into a hard, thin line.

  Victoria stumbled back, as if she had been punched in the face. “Best if I considered them dead? But why? If I have parents, I want to meet them. For all these years, I thought myself an orphan. Don’t I deserve to know my history? My real last name?” Victoria asked, her eyes ablaze.

  “Your parents had a choice. As a ward of the convent, they are no longer your parents.”

  “But I want to know them!” Victoria’s voice grew louder.

  “Unless something has changed with your mother, since the last time I met her, as long as I am living, you will never know her. If I have to give you my last name, to ensure that you are not judged unfortunately, I will. I mean your mother no harm, but I cannot see how meet
ing her will cause you anything but grief. I am sorry Victoria, but that is where I stand on the matter.”

  Sister Katherine abruptly turned and continued to pick up trash. Victoria said nothing for the rest of the night; the only companion to her self-imposed silence was the soft stirrings of nighttime creatures, hunting for their next meal.

  The following days came and went with no sign of Roman, or the Other Brotherhood. Victoria slipped back into her daily routine as activity in the Other Sisterhood also came to a screeching halt.

  It was if the events nearly two weeks ago, had never even happened, Victoria thought, as she scrubbed the back of yet another, dirty orphan. It was nearly 12 in the afternoon, and the sun was beating down harshly onto Victoria’s forehead. She wiped her head with the sullied rag she always kept in the pocket of her day robes. Her night robes, she remembered wistfully, hadn’t been put to good use in a while. As she scrubbed away mindlessly, she wondered what she missed more; the rush of the Other Sisterhood, alone, or the rush she got when she found herself face to face with Roman. Victoria didn’t like the idea of depending on someone else for her thrills, but she couldn’t deny that something about Roman made her feel very much alive.