Strength Enduring

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  Dhani should have been spending her time trying to figure out who would be her maid of honor out of her three friends. Instead, Cheyenne wouldn’t even be there. Her friend had wanted to come, but the others had said it would be too dangerous for her to be truly connected to the Talons out in the open like that. They all knew that Blade knew that Cheyenne was part of the Fearsome Foursome of friends that were now connected to the Talons, but they didn’t want the rest of the world figuring out the details. So, once again, their friend was excluded and on the outside looking in. But with mating ceremonies between wolves, there weren’t maids of honor or bridesmaids. Dawn and Aimee would be standing with their mates, looking on, but Dhani didn’t know if she would feel any pride or joy radiating from them like she might have if things were different. Because she didn’t even know what she felt for Kam. How were her best friends supposed to? She had a feeling that both of them were a little hurt that she hadn’t mentioned that she could feel the mating pull when it came to Kam, but there hadn’t been time to talk about it.

  She figured there would be time once the dust settled and she found herself mated to a man who didn’t want to mate with her…or rather one who was so protective that he was afraid a mating might make things worse. But then she didn’t know what kind of person she would be at that point. Gideon had said she would be Pack, but she wouldn’t be a wolf. Not right away. She would be a mate, a Pack member, someone who had been a public source of pain and fear for the den. How was she supposed to face herself in the mirror while all she could think about was the pups that could be in danger because she had thought her place was with the Talons?

  They weren’t going to have their mating ceremony within the den circle where almost all other ceremonies were held. This would be on Pack territory, but not within the wards.

  Gideon would say some of the same words he would during a normal ceremony, but not all of them. Those were personal and were part of the Pack’s history. Some things were not meant to be in the public eye. She wouldn’t be Pack until she went back to Kameron’s house, and he marked her. And then they would make love. By binding those two parts of themselves, the wolf with the mark, the human with the spilling of seed, the mating bond would snap into place. And once that happened, she would officially be part of the Pack.

  There were other ways to become part of the Pack, but all of them included Gideon and blood—something not in line with what the humans would allow. That wasn’t something they would put on television. Instead, they were going to give a show. Broadcast a pleasant mating ceremony that was basically a fake wedding, and she would show the world that she was happy where she was and that she was in no danger.

  Somehow, Ryder and Max had figured out exactly who to talk to in order to set everything up. They would be taking no questions, there would be no statements beyond the original press release they had just put out, but they had explained that Dhani would soon be a Talon member through mating. She knew not everyone would believe it, but maybe if they saw the ceremony, they would start to. Once she was Pack, once she was a mate, then she would be safe, and she would be able to keep the Pack safe.

  At least, that’s what she hoped.

  She couldn’t help but feel as if she were drowning, perhaps swimming in circles and not able to tread water. They were going about this all backwards, and she knew she might be making a mistake. But that was the only mistake she could make. The mistake she needed to.

  Perhaps one of the strangest things about all of this was that she and Kameron hadn’t even really spoken. They had talked to others about what they needed to do, but they hadn’t spoken to each other. The broadcast had aired the day before, and they were already working on the makeshift ceremony that would happen that afternoon. Kameron had given her a look, said he would talk to her later, and then he left with Gideon to ensure that the den was safe in case this was just a distraction so Blade could mount an attack.

  The thing was, she totally understood that. All of this did seem like a complete distraction from the main enemy. It was as if Blade were trying to get the humans to come against the wolves again so he could be the one who looked like the good guy. Or maybe it was even as simple as the fact that if the humans took out the Talons, then Blade wouldn’t have to. She didn’t understand how an insane Alpha worked, but she knew the man had plans.

  Plans that apparently included her. She didn’t think his scheme had anything to do with the fact that she was Kameron’s mate. No one had known that other than she and Kameron. So that meant it had to be her connection to Dawn and Aimee and the Talons as a whole. That meant Cheyenne might be in danger, as well. Thankfully, Kameron had sent a couple of wolves who weren’t out in public as shifters to watch over Cheyenne. Their friend wasn’t happy about it. Frankly, Cheyenne was pissed off that all of this was happening at all, but she was allowing the two wolves to take care of her protection—at least for the short-term. Everyone was trying to do their best to keep the innocent safe, but things were getting so complicated that Dhani had no idea how she’d ended up at this place.

  At least the idea of Cheyenne standing in her vet office with two werewolves and countless puppies and kittens that might be afraid of the big, bad wolves, soothed her some. Cheyenne would be safe. Once Dhani completed this farce of a ceremony; hopefully, all of her friends would be safe.

  How had things ended up like this? One day, she was flirting with Kameron; the next, they were fighting. One day, they were kissing; the next, they were pushing each other away for the good of their people. At least the good of his people. Now, they would be her people too, and she had no idea what she was going to do about that. She’d been right before in thinking that she needed to consider who she was now before she made any changes. But she hadn’t had time for that.

  The idea that her humanity could be over soon wasn’t lost on her. It was the echoing ebb in her brain that worried her. She loved her friends, loved shifters too for that matter, but she hadn’t thought she would ever be one. And there were no true human members of the Pack. Eventually, they all became shifters. Or they left. Because watching your friends never age while you grew in your years couldn’t be easy.

  But now she might not have that problem.

  Except for Cheyenne.

  And if she kept thinking about her humanity or the lack thereof; if she kept thinking about the war, and her friends, she wouldn’t think about the fact that she was about to create a mating bond with a man she didn’t love. A man who didn’t love her. A man who didn’t want to love her. To say that things were messy and complicated was an understatement.

  How could this be her life? She had known she was delving deeper and deeper into a world that wasn’t the one she’d grown up in, but she had thought she was finally getting a handle on it. And then she kissed Kameron. And touched him. And then they had both pulled away. There’d be no pulling away anymore. She didn’t know exactly what happened during a mating bond, but she knew it was a stronger connection than even the pull she felt at this point. They would literally be connecting their souls. Forever. And because wolves were so long-lived, forever was a long time. It wasn’t just until the end of their days because there were a lot of them.

  And the thing was, if she didn’t end up becoming a wolf and she aged normally and died a natural death, she would be forcing Kam into a pain that she couldn’t comprehend. She had heard horror stories of what happened when one of a mated pair died. Mitchell had gone through it. So had a few others that she had met only in passing. Somehow, a few of them had found other mates, but it had taken decades. Before that, they had walked as hollow representations of themselves, their souls jagged and parts ripped out by the death of another. And though she did not know if she and Kam would ever have the type of mating that perhaps they each deserved, she couldn’t force him into that type of agony. She couldn’t force him to watch her die like she would never want to watch him do.

  Her life would once again be forever altered because of the decisions
of others, and because it was the fate that had been laid before them on a path that seemed so daunting, she didn’t know if she could follow it the way she should. But it was all out of her hands now. And soon, she’d be mated to a man that she would have to get to know.

  Because she wasn’t going to fail. Dhani did not fail. Sure, she’d gotten fired from her job, but she had found another one right away. Yes, she couldn’t stop the dreams that never seemed to go away, but she lived through them, and she tried to keep them from ruling her life. She would find a way to make this work, too, even if it took part of her to do so.

  But for now, she was standing in a shack in the middle of the forest, alone, waiting for her friends to come and say that it was time for the mating ceremony that she hadn’t been expecting. There would be no rose petals, no music. There would be no sweet sense of purpose or a new, overwhelming sense of love that brought her to the edge of the abyss.

  Instead, she would make promises that she knew she had to keep. She just hoped Kameron would do the same. Because she was making a new life. She was making a choice…but without love. All because she was friends with people that some thought she shouldn’t be. All because her parents had betrayed her, or perhaps they’d betrayed themselves because of an outside force. Regardless, while she knew this whole thing was a big thing, much bigger than just her feelings, she also had to find a personal reason to make the promises she was about to make.

  So, yes, she stood in a shack, wearing a white dress so she looked as if she were having a real wedding; that way, she could appease the humans who didn’t understand. Of course, she didn’t understand either, but she was finding her way. Dawn and Aimee had just stepped out for a bit so she could have a few moments to herself, but she could hear the others outside. The soldiers were on patrol around them, and Kameron’s family was near, though the children were behind the wards, safety ensconced away.

  There would be no crowd, no cameras except for a single one. A lone reporter that they trusted who had nothing to do with the man named Jack. This person got the exclusive, and soon, the world would know. They still had to keep the den safe. They were on high alert in case this truly was a distraction, and Blade was going to come at them. But in the end, she had to dig deep and remember that this day was supposed to be special. It was supposed to be about Kameron and her. But it wasn’t. There was no way it could be.

  There was a knock on the door, and Dawn stuck her head in, a soft smile on her face. The smile didn’t reach her eyes, but Dhani was glad that her friend at least tried.

  “Are you ready? Take all the time you need. This day is for you.”

  Dhani shot Dawn a look. “No, it’s not. But that’s okay. I’m the one who helped get us into this mess, and I’ll be the one that helps get us out.”

  Dawn and Aimee both walked into the shack that was supposed to be the bridal room or whatever. Aimee must’ve been standing behind Dawn when the other woman stuck her head through the crack in the door.

  “No, this day is also about you,” Aimee put in.

  Dawn pressed her lips together before speaking. “We can stop this right now. We can find another way. You’re about to tie your life, your soul to another person. If you’re both mates, truly, then when the time is right, you’ll have your own experience. One where it’s not about threats and politics and everything bad in the world. I’m just so afraid that when you look back on this time, everything’s going to be tainted, and you’re not going to get the day you truly deserve.”

  Dhani gave Dawn smile, shaking her head. “Each of us has found our path a little bumpy along the way. None of this is normal, but I don’t think normal is normal anymore. And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that I was a potential mate for Kameron, but I needed it to be for myself for a little bit. And in the end, I’m glad that I had at least that part to myself because there’s nothing private about what’s about to happen.”

  “I know. But if you’re feeling the pull, that means there’s something magical about you, too.” Aimee sighed. “But then again, I guess we already knew that with how you reacted to the wards. And while I’m sorry that things are turning out the way they are, I’m glad that you’ll be one of us. I wasn’t ready to move on in this new world without my best friends.”

  None of them mentioned Cheyenne. That wasn’t something they could get into today, not with what was about to happen.

  “I guess we should just get this over with. That’s not the thing I thought I’d say on my wedding day, but this isn’t really a wedding day. And it’s not really a mating ceremony. It’s something for TV to help cool down the waters. Then, we’ll figure out what’s going on with the Aspens. But it’s okay. Really. Kameron and I are…okay. At least I know we will be. There were reasons we kept things to ourselves and reasons we didn’t automatically jump into mating. And those reasons might still be there, but there’s no going back. We’ll figure it out.”

  Before her friends could question her, she smoothed out the soft white of her dress front and moved towards the door. Dawn and Aimee immediately backed out of the shack, letting Dhani make her way to Kameron.

  Her breath caught in her throat, and she did her best not to think about anything but him. This could be just about them, even if it were just in her mind. Because she knew if she thought about anything else, if she let any of the worries she had left back in the shack come with her, she would forever regret this day. She had to think of the future, had to think about who she would be as a mate instead of a woman on the outside looking in. She couldn’t think about what Kameron might regret, she couldn’t think about any of that pain.

  She stood in front of him, and he took her hand. Gideon was saying something, and she knew the camera was rolling, but she only had eyes for Kameron. He wore a suit without a tie, looking cleaner and more striking than ever before. His strong jaw wasn’t tensed, not like usual. Instead, he looked right back at her, a promise in his gaze that she hoped she wasn’t imagining.

  Because if all of this were for nothing, if she were left alone and aching, she didn’t know if she could bear it. She was strong, so damn strong, yet the idea that she could be wrong almost cut her off at the knees. Gideon said other things, and she answered, having been coached in what to say for a mating ceremony that wasn’t under the full moon. She knew the world was watching, knew they needed her to be sincere, and yet she could only be herself. There was nothing more sincere than that. Kameron reached down and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, and she smiled softly. Others spoke, using words that weren’t those of a traditional ceremony, but words she knew were truth nonetheless.

  And when Kam lowered his head to brush his lips along hers, she sank into him, not for the cameras, not for the others, but for her. For him.

  The world had seen her make her promises, and later would see her statement that she’d written out before this. But that was all they would get from her. That was all she would lay bare. She couldn’t hear what the others were saying, couldn’t hear anything except for her own beating heart in her ears. Couldn’t feel anything except for Kameron’s breath on her cheek.

  She wasn’t mated, not yet, but that would come soon. That he had made promises, and so had she, had to mean something.

  It had to.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Dhani found herself in Kameron’s cabin, her hands shaking like a virgin bride. The idea made her laugh, and Kameron gave her a look.

  “I’m glad that you’re laughing because this is awkward as hell. And I hate that it’s awkward because it shouldn’t be, dammit.”

  He ran his hand through his hair, and she smiled up at him. “I’m laughing because I was just thinking of myself as a shaking virgin bride and I’m totally not. Not really a bride, and sadly, not a virgin. Not that it’s sad that I’m not a virgin, but I’m just letting you know. Because I think we need to talk about our sexual history. Or maybe that’s something we should have talked about before this. You know, because you’re like a cent
ury older than me, and I assume you’re not a virgin wolf. If you are, I can totally lead you through this and make sure you’re comfortable…and I should just shut up now because I’m rambling and I think I’m going to throw up.”

  With that, Kameron blinked before he threw his head back and laughed. “Thank you for that. No, I’m not a virgin. The idea that you wanted to make sure that I’m comfortable and cared for through this whole thing, though, it’s nice. Sweet? I don’t know, but I think it makes me like you even more. And yes, the few times we spoke before this, your friends mentioned an ex-boyfriend or two, and at your age, I assumed you weren’t a virgin. And now I’m going to stop talking about former lovers because my wolf is ready to tear through my skin and start growling before I go find those guys and rip out their throats. Not really the best thing to be thinking about on the night of our mating ceremony.”

  “Are you jealous?” She’d never really had a man get jealous when it came to her before. She kind of liked it.

  “Of course, I’m jealous. Others had their hands on you. And despite the fact that we’ve both decided to take things slow and try to figure out exactly what we wanted before this, you’re still my mate. So, we’re not going to talk about previous men. I will not talk about previous women. By the way, the list isn’t that long, even with as many years as I have under my belt—thanks for making me feel old, by the way—because I’m an asshole and I don’t like people. But I guess you already figured that out.”

  “The asshole part, or the not liking people part? I kind of figured out both. But deal, we will not talk about that part of our pasts, but I want to know everything else. I’m not saying right now, but we’re stuck in this together. And I didn’t mean the word stuck. I’m just…I think I’m nervous. I didn’t think I’d be this nervous. But I am.”