Ghost Wolf: Paranormal Shifter Romance (ComeShift Series Book 1)

by Sky Winters

  She was worried for a brief moment that she had been stupid and reckless, setting herself up to be used and abused. Her eyebrows furrowed and he seemed to understand exactly what she was thinking, because he smiled at her then, reassuringly.

  “I love you too,” he said. And in every fiber of her being, she knew it was true.

  Chapter 7

  The next morning, Joy felt guilty sitting across the table from her innocent young niece and her sister. It was like being a teenager – told time and time again that giving into those temptations was wrong, there would be hellfire and brimstone to answer for if you did – and then finally having the night of your life and having to look into the eyes of the people who, although well-meaning, would have crucified you where you stood if they knew the truth. Only it was a little bit more shameful because the man she had been out with had been an outlaw, and she'd hidden the truth from her sister.

  Zak had managed to drop her off just before Kayla and Penny arrived home. She found herself wondering if she owed the truth to her sister because they were sharing a roof, but at the same time she couldn't fathom talking about the experience she had just had, especially not in front of Penny. Or even with Penny in the house. It made her feel guilty.

  And so she managed to avoid the topic until her second egg.

  “Where's your car?” Kayla asked. She was doing dishes and had noticed it was missing as she gazed out the window.

  “It broke down on county road N,” Joy replied.

  “Oh really? Why didn't you tell me?” Kayla sounded worried.

  “It's all right, I took care of it. I didn't want to worry you, and it seemed trivial. Besides, I was tired last night.”

  The last part was very true. Her intense night of passion had left her winded. She wished she could fall asleep in Zak's arms like she had in old times, but it didn't seem like it was in the cards for her to do so any time soon.

  “How did you make it back home without your car?” Kayla asked. It was the question Joy had been dreading.

  “I got a ride,” she said vaguely.

  “From who?” Kayla asked, suddenly a hundred times more curious. She could tell by Joy's evasiveness that it had the scent of forbidden fruit all over it.

  “Zak found me,” she answered casually.

  “Of course he did,” Kayla said wryly. Joy gave her a grin.

  “Shush. Anyway we caught up at the diner and he took me to the body shop then brought me home. It was really nice of him.”

  “Well you should probably be careful, he might think you owe him for it. He's not exactly the same nice guy you remember him being.”

  Joy shrugged.

  “It's not like we're eloping. If he wants me to pay him or something, I will. It's no big deal.”

  “All right,” Kayla said, not entirely convinced. She glanced at Penny meaningfully before speaking again. “Hopefully he knows this isn't the kind of place he belongs.”

  Joy was suddenly angered by the implication that Zak might hurt Penny, or be unwelcome by her family.

  “He just gave me a ride home,” she said coldly. And that was the end of that.

  After breakfast Joy headed up to the guest bedroom and flopped onto her bed. Penny came in after her and hopped up with her. Joy smiled despite herself; the child was adorable.

  “Were you and mommy fighting?” she asked, her worried blue eyes boring into Joy's.

  “No, honey. We were just talking about something serious, that's all. Grown-ups change their voices when things are serious, but it doesn't mean that we're fighting.”

  “Zak is the mean motorcycle man!” Penny said, seemingly proud that she had pieced this together downstairs. Joy heaved a heavy sigh, feeling guiltier than ever about her tryst the night before.

  “People make bad choices sometimes,” she said. “Even if they are really nice people.”

  “Do you think he's nice?” Penny asked, her eyes wide. Any answer she gave Penny might completely change her view of life as a whole, so Joy would have to tread carefully.

  “Zak is nice to the people he likes,” she said finally. This seemed to satisfy Penny.

  “Is he mean to the people he doesn't like?”

  “Yes,” Joy said truthfully. “But don't worry. I don't think he'd ever be mean to you.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he likes me. So I think he would like you too.”

  This cheered the toddler.

  “Okay! I'm going to go play dragons now.”

  “Okay.”

  And like that she was off, leaving Joy behind with Zak's soft heart on her mind.

  Chapter 8

  Over the next two weeks, Joy and Zak began meeting at the diner on the weekends when Kayla met with Penny's dad. He picked her up until her car was fixed, and then they would drive themselves. He seemed to know that Kayla no longer trusted him, and tried to avoid her as much as possible. Who could blame her after the things he had done? Kayla had filled Joy in on some of them – gruesome and unbelievable tales though they were, but they must be true because Kayla wasn't prone to exaggeration or rumors. Some things she had even seen herself, like when he beat a man to a bloody pulp at a gas station for disrespecting an elderly woman and nearly knocking her over with his car.

  “Yeah but can you blame him? If we had the power we'd do the same thing!”

  “I know. A lot of things he has good reason for. He just goes too far.”

  Joy couldn't let the stories deter her though, and had him on her mind constantly. She was drunk on him. It was like they were dating again, though they made no official declarations and hadn't said they loved each other again since the first time they'd met in ten years. That could have meant anything, right? It's not like they were exclusive, and she wasn't looking for another bad relationship. She had had enough of those. She even managed to tell Zak about Gordon, who surprisingly enough, Zak had already heard of. His face had hardened and he muttered something under his breath that she thought might have been something along the lines of, “I'll take care of it.”

  Zak was always pleased to see her, his handsome face lighting up, his smile wide and welcoming; intoxicating. They would speak for hours, but they hadn't had sex again. He would be a gentleman, sometimes kissing her, but he seemed to be testing the waters, figuring out how far they should go and never totally wrapped up in the moment the way they had been when they first reunited.

  Then something strange happened. Joy missed her period.

  At first she hadn't noticed, but by the next week she was in a full panic. She drove herself to the doctor's clinic right away, following the routine until they told her for sure that it was as she had feared the most – she was pregnant. Suddenly, the most pleasurable moment in her life to date turned treacherous. They should have used a condom – they shouldn't have acted so rashly. Fortunately she was still free of any venereal diseases, unless you counted a tiny embryo growing inside of your uterus a disease; which she didn't.

  She drove morosely home, sitting heavily on the couch until Kayla returned from a playdate with a neighbor and noticed Joy's pale face.

  “What's wrong?” Kayla asked, her face concerned.

  “I'm pregnant,” Joy said, and she immediately started to cry. Kayla held her tightly. It had been a relief to finally say it out loud for the first time but it also made it real. And this was not a situation she wanted to be real. She was pregnant with an outlaw's child.

  “Look. You don't have to keep it. You don't even have to tell him. It's your body, he doesn't have to know anything about it.”

  This was the exact opposite of what Joy wanted to hear right now. She had expected her sister to be more supportive, although she was being supportive how she had expected Joy wanted her to be supportive. She'd always sworn she didn't want children, that her life would be over if she had kids, how she didn't want tied down to any man or child. She had worried that Kayla quietly judged her, but in reality, Kayla was just afraid that it was Joy who was judgi
ng the way she lived her life. Maybe she had invited her sister to live with them so that she could see what it was to really have a family, how it wasn't an obligation so much as it was a joy and a comfort.

  “I'm not going to lie to him!”

  “He's a criminal,” Kayla said patiently, as if she were talking to Penny.

  “He's a good man,” Joy said firmly.

  And with that she stood and the conversation was over. She was going to find Zak and tell him the news. She should have done that in the first place. She glared at Kayla as she left, speeding away toward the motorcycle club where Zak hung out; the one place she had never been and never had any intention of going. Until now.

  Chapter 9

  The motorcycle club was located on the outskirts of town, a couple miles east of the diner. She drove there quickly, parking next to a line of bikes in a dirt and gravel paved makeshift parking lot. There were more than she'd expected – there had to be at least twenty of them there. One in particular caught her eye, something was familiar about the red leather seat but she couldn't quite place it.

  The building was an old bar named O'Riley's, and she sat in her car for a few minutes, breathing heavily. Was she really going to do this? It seemed so reckless. Dangerous. Everything Kayla said was true. But it was Zak. Zak who loved her. With his sensual eyes and carefree smile, the spirit that would defend an old woman he didn't know to the death.

  She sighed and got out of the car, clicking the door closed quietly behind her. She knew her car would be conspicuous. They might have seen her coming from a mile away. Maybe she should have parked further down the road so she would blend in better.

  When she walked into the bar, it took her eyes a few seconds to adjust. It was dim, no, dark. And loud. People were shouting, glass was breaking, and suddenly, shots were being fired. She ducked behind the bar, her eyes wide, though finally able to see. She squinted into the darkness and saw Gordon bound and gagged on the floor with a few of his buddies. They'd ridden over, she realized. That's why there were so many bikes. And the one that she recognized with the red seat had been his. The one he refused to let her anywhere near unless he told her to pose half naked in front of it for his camera. She'd only done it once, when she thought he was harmless.

  Suddenly, Zak was there. His gorgeous, rugged body was crouched over Gordon, whose muffled screams were held back by the gag in his mouth. His eyes were wide and Joy couldn't help but think he looked ugly when he was pleading. No wonder the villains hated whiners so much. Suddenly, a huge buck knife was in Zak's hand and he was gripping Gordon by the hair, pulling his chin off the floor. He sliced a long red line in Gordon's neck and the man's strangled screams began to gurgle until finally he was dead on the floor.

  The men in the motorcycle club hollered and whooped victoriously, high fiving each other and slapping Zak on the back. Zak didn't look very celebratory however, he just stared down at the corpse on the floor, contemplating it and frowning deeply. And then suddenly, he saw her, the fear on her face, and the confusion in her eyes. And she was running and crying, somehow by her car, now being enfolded in Zak's arms, shushed and rocked, cradled and kissed all over. She wanted to let her feel the comfort he offered, but he had been the one who had done it, he had killed a man right in front of her.

  “I'm pregnant,” she finally said between gulping sobs. “But I can't let our child be part of something like that.”

  Zak looked at her, his eyes wide with shock. He opened and closed his mouth.

  “You're sure?”

  “I went to the doctor's, they confirmed everything. But Zak, this can't be our life. She can't see you if this is your life.”

  She was already sure she would have a daughter. Somehow it just slipped out and felt right.

  She pulled herself out of Zak's embrace and got into the car, gripping the steering wheel with her hands shaking.

  “You shouldn't drive like that, it's not safe,” he said, his voice faraway through the window glass. “Let me take you.”

  Like hell. She tore out of the parking lot and headed home, as far away from him as she could possibly get.

  Chapter 10

  The next few months were hell. Kayla and Penny did the best they could to help her feel better. Kayla had assumed the baby was Gordon's, which was why she had reacted the way she did. Joy wasn't sure she wanted to tell the truth, but ultimately did anyway. Kayla was quiet for a moment, and then exhaled softly. She had nothing to say about it though, which Joy was grateful for.

  She wished for nothing more than to share the experience of her pregnancy with the man she loved, but she couldn't get the images of him killing Gordon out of her head. That was something she hadn't told anybody about, especially not Kayla. But one night they were watching a mobster movie and Joy started crying uncontrollably, begging her to turn it off. She couldn't stop thinking about how Zak was a cold-blooded killer. It was too much to bear. And now he would be a father. What kind of world was it?

  Finally she spilled the whole story to Kayla after making sure she swore not to tell. After she told her, she got an unexpected reaction. Kayla smiled, shaking her head. “That little bastard,” was all she said.

  When Joy pushed her to elaborate, Kayla sighed, the smile still on her lips.

  “It's just that...if I could have gotten away with it, I would have liked to do it myself.”

  “What, kill Gordon?”

  “Call it the Mama Bear in me. I protect me and mine. I guess Zak's the same way. But more macho. Because men are just like that.”

  Joy stared at her sister, feeling as if something inside of her had started to thaw out and melt. She began to cry again, but for a totally different reason. Kayla smiled and stroked her gently, muttering something about how bad pregnancy hormones could be, and then sent her off to bed with a glass of tea.

  She laid in bed, touching the bump where her child was growing. She loved it more than she had ever loved anything, even though they hadn't officially met yet. She sighed, crying softly as she thought about just how much she missed Zak. She had always missed him, right from the moment she left. But he couldn't come with her. He had to take care of his grandmother. He'd had it rough, it was no wonder he'd turned out to be such a hardass. But he acted from a place of care and love, and although he was rough, he had a good reason for everything he did. She couldn't think of anyone more suitable to look after her child as fiercely as she intended to. With a dad like Zak around, no harm would come to that baby.

  The next morning when she woke up, she knew what she would have to do. She showered and dressed, then hopped into her car. She didn't even stop to have breakfast with Kayla and Penny. All that was on her mind was Zak.

  Chapter 11

  She drove quickly, parking her car in the same spot. The bikes that Gordon's gang members had were still there, at least parts of them. They'd smashed up some and salvaged the pieces. She was sure she'd find plenty at the body shop. She ducked into the motorcycle club, waiting a moment for her eyes to adjust. All activity in the room paused, and finally she could see several figures around her, each of them eyeing her curiously.

  None of them seemed to recognize her, but they knew her car, and they knew that Zak told them not to mess with her if she came in again. They were supposed to get him immediately. It took about five minutes before Zak was standing in front of her. He led her past the bar, fumes of alcohol and cigarettes lingering in the air, and led her up to the apartment above the bar, where he lived.

  It had the husky scent of a male bachelor, spicy and intoxicating, and surprisingly clean. If he smoked he smoked downstairs, and kept the apartment immaculate. Still, there were signs of his deviance all over the place. A pin up girl calendar on the wall, bike parts scattered here and there, weapons of several types placed proudly on the wall. She looked away from them and into his eyes.

  “Are you okay? I'm glad you're here. How is the baby?”

  “I'm fine,” she said, although in truth she felt like throw
ing up. It was a feeling she had gotten used to though, and swallowed it with finesse. “The baby is fine too. She's growing strong.”

  “She,” he said, and his face glowed. She suddenly felt very ashamed of herself for keeping him out of the loop for so long. She had been afraid, yes, but having him there with her along the way would have been so much better.

  “I haven't named her yet,” she said carefully. “I thought we could do that together.”

  He stared at her, the meaning of the words hitting him hard. For the first time in ten years, she saw Zak weep. The first time was when she had left him in that town all alone, with nobody left to love him. Her heart went out to him now, and she touched his leathery cheek, wiping tears away and allowing him to embrace her. She almost groaned out loud, the feeling of him so near to her was powerful and perfect – everything she had been needing was right there all along.

  “I couldn't fucking handle it if you left again,” he said softly. “You're all I had for so long. And then you were just gone. I think something in me snapped then. I figure if there's no love left for me, I've got no love left for anything else.”

  “I know,” Joy whispered.

  “But I love you,” he was saying, lifting her up gently, kissing her from the forehead to the baby bump, holding and caressing it as if it were the most sacred object on the earth. “And I love her. More than I've loved anything.”

  “Me too,” she said. “And I love you. I never should have left. You're the only man I ever loved.”

  And then they were kissing.

  She let her hands slide up and down his body, dipping her fingers into the power over him that she knew her body had. He writhed pleasantly under her touch, grabbing her hands to kiss the fingertips and her palms, sending shivers as his soft kisses penetrated the thin, sensitive skin on her wrists. She tugged them away from him, her heart racing, and held him tightly, her palms roaming his thighs, resting over the rock-hard bulge between them, slipping in to hold it, bring it to her lips, and taste him.