Destiny Mine

by Janelle Taylor

  There also was the possibility Night Walker could expose his desire for her and make his quest for her known to their tribe. That would make her refusal harder for others to understand and could cast suspicions on her and Stalking Wolf as the reason she rejected Night Walker. Whatever decision she made, it could not come while her head was clouded by confusion and her heart was suffering in anguish over her true love’s loss.

  Kionee made a visit to the Haukau. Again, the blood flow and her sensitive breasts pointed out she was a female, one who wanted children, one who could have them only with Night Walker or with another Hanueva male. Yet, no other appealed to her; nor did her pursuer, only the Cheyenne beyond her reach.

  For several days after her return, a series of violent thunderstorms with downpours of blinding rain and streaks of brilliant lightning assailed the plains and forced everyone to take refuge inside their tipis. Outside chores were delayed. The hunt was put off until they ceased.

  When the weather cleared, scouts reported bad news: the storms had frightened and stampeded the large herd to a location three days’ travel northeast. That distance was too far for easy hunting and travois trips to haul meat and hides back to camp, so another move was necessary. Other scouts were sent to check on the new location for Swift Crane’s Crow band to make certain the Cheyenne and Hanueva would not halt too close to it.

  While that party was gone, Bear’s Head and Big Hump gave the signal to dismantle their tipis again, as they must follow the buffalo herd.

  Their third camp was set up within distant view of tall and majestic buttes. Despite the late-summer heat, wildflowers and grass were plentiful after nourishing rains. The herd had settled down to graze in contentment a half-day’s ride beyond them and near another prairie-dog village, the type of site which they favored. They ate and drank, dust-wallowed, tended their offspring, and romped in ignorance of the impending fates of many of the huge beasts: to become meals, garments, shelters, and more for the nomadic Indians.

  Near the camp, water for drinking, bathing, and other needs was abundant in creeks and catch-basins. Countless buffalo chips provided ample fuel for cook fires and for drying some cuts of meat. Roots, bulbs, tubers, corms, leaves, flowers, and stems offered themselves as other sources of food. The sky was clear and blue, and a gentle breeze wafted through the verdant ground covering. Everyone liked the favorable site, which would be their last for this season. Everyone, except for Kionee and Stalking Wolf, who dreaded the end of summer and the necessary parting which would come with it. Both still prayed the Creator would find a way to let them join; but both feared nothing would change for them. If only they could see each other on occasion, their pains of denial would be lessened during those arduous days and nights when they were so close in proximity and yet so far apart.

  The Cheyenne left on their fifth and final hunt. There was no need for Hanuevas to go, as they had sufficient meat and hides for winter. Yet, the small tribe stayed near the larger one for safety—among other reasons while completing its tasks. There were things they needed to gather in this area before they left the plains to return to their winter campground.

  As Kionee did her chores or stood guard for women doing theirs, she wondered if it was only wishful imagination or if Night Walker was watching Taysinga closely during this busy time. Few things would please or calm her more than for the two hunters to fall in love and join. She whispered words of encouragement into the older female’s ears, who was thrilled to hear them.

  “How can I pull him toward me when I live and look as a man?” Taysinga wondered.

  “He knows you and all tivas are females. Tell no one, not even Night Walker, I heard him say he believes the tiva custom should be cast aside, for we are needed as mates and mothers to make our tribe larger and stronger. There is no better match for him among us than you are, my friend. He has taken no mate, for he will accept only the best female among us; this season, you have proven your rank is high and your skills are great.”

  “I have done so only with your help and good heart, Kionee.”

  “But no one knows that secret, so the honor is yours. We must never reveal it to others. If only there was a sly way he could view your face and body, he would desire you. He would play the flute for you and ride you behind him many times during our coming journey.”

  Taysinga glanced around to make certain no one was approaching. “How can I show him the woman beneath my mask and garments without getting caught and punished?” she asked.

  “I do not know yet, but I will think of a clever way to do so without you taking risks. You must do the same, for my wits may fail me. Do you have the strength and courage to do anything to win him?”

  “Yes. But what if he does not like and desire what he views?”

  “He will, Taysinga,” Kionee said, confident of Night Walker’s lust, and her own desperation to elude it.

  Kionee’s tension mounted every day as the moment for separation from her beloved grew closer. She decided to scout the buttes from which foes could spy on them or gather in for an attack. Swift Crane’s band had not been a threat since the trick she and Stalking Wolf had played on them. But, she worried, what about defiant raiders from other bands? She left camp with Maja, and no one seemed to take notice of her departure.

  She galloped toward the cluster of three mountains with flat summits and protruding bodies which were shaded like burnt ochre. Their odd shapes and sizes made them markers for travelers, as they could be seen for a long way as they rose above the mixture of flat and rolling terrain. She approached them with caution and looked for fresh tracks, but sighted none on this side. Maja sniffed the ground and discovered nothing suspicious. She dismounted to allow Tuka to rest before they checked the remainder of the area and headed back to camp.

  “Maheoo shines with favor on us this sun, my love, for He guided you to me,” a mellow voice said.

  Kionee whirled and stared into the tender and glowing gaze of the man who consumed her thoughts and ruled her emotions. “Stalking Wolf! Why are you here? Why are you not hunting with the others?” How had he found her? What if somebody came and saw them together? Without being told, the astute Maja left them alone and went to guard their privacy.

  “I made many kills and was returning to camp. I came to scout this place for enemies, but I saw you coming toward me. I hid so I would not frighten you away before you saw it was me. I watched behind you and no one trails you. If another comes, Maja will warn us.”

  Kionee smiled and raced into his open arms. She laughed with joy as he lifted her and swung her around in playful delight, her body held snugly against his. “Nemehotatse,” she murmured her love for him after he lowered her feet to the grass.

  “Ne-xohose-neheseha,” he entreated her to say it again, his smile broad, his eyes sparkling, and his manhood aroused.

  “I love you,” she complied with honesty and desire. Her expression and tone shouted her sadness as she said, “We leave soon.” She saw his sunny smile fade and his gaze dull. She felt his fingers on her forearms tighten for a moment.

  “Tonese?”

  “In fourteen to sixteen suns.” She drew a deep and ragged breath before she reminded, “We can say and do nothing to help us be together until the Creator-High Guardian clears the path for us to join.”

  Stalking Wolf felt as if his heart skipped a beat. “What if He does not?”

  Kionee lowered her misty gaze and murmured, “That is the only way we can be together.”

  The troubled warrior cupped her jawline and lifted her head to lock their gazes. “You are mine, my love; I cannot lose you.”

  “I belong first to Atah, then, to my family, my tribe, my laws, and my rank. I cannot betray them for selfish reasons, though I crave to do so. I could not live with that shame and anguish or burden you with them. How could we be happy if we destroyed many and much to grasp our love? How can we risk endangering the alliance between our tribes? We cannot, my love.” She watched him conceal his anguish and dism
ay.

  “It is true, but it knifes my heart. I cannot ask you to go against your beliefs and laws for me; if I did so and you obeyed, you would not be the special woman I love. You would not ask or expect such treachery and weakness from me, and I must not do so of you. For us to live in the light of Good, it must be with Maheoo’ blessing and by His freeing you of your rank and duty, without imperiling our tribes’ bond.”

  Kionee’s eyes teared with gratitude and love for his understanding. She perceived how hard it was for him to say such things as it was different for women in his tribe. Cheyenne females and captives obeyed men and yielded to their wishes. She was glad and relieved he respected their differences.

  Their lips fused in an intense, soul-stirring kiss. Each knew they had only a short time for one final and blazing bout of passion before they were parted. They knew it could be next summer before they saw and touched each other again, so this union might have to last them a long time.

  With haste and eagerness, they joined in an almost desperation to seize every pleasure possible in such a short span. They reached ecstasy’s pinnacle, wavered there a brief spell, and plunged over its glorious edge with willing eagerness. Splendor captured and enthralled them until bleak reality returned.

  Stalking Wolf stared into her eyes and said, “I love you, Kionee; you are my destiny, the air I breathe, the sun which warms me, the food which feeds my spirit, the water which sates my thirst. Use the power and magic of your name to blow back into my life and arms soon.”

  “You are those things to me, my heart. I will do all I can to come to you. Now, I must wash and go before I am missed,” she said with reluctance.

  He waited while she bathed, then resecured her garments. He held her and kissed her one last time before watching her ride away with Maja loping beside her. He murmured to himself, “Guard her for me, my friend and spirit sign, for she will become my mate, the mother of my son. Bring her to me before winter, Maheoo, or I will be forced to disobey and capture her.”

  In the days which ensued, Kionee protected her mother and sisters and other females as they gathered chokecherries, prickly pears, mariposa bulbs, goldenrod, bullberries, beeplant leaves, berries, other edible plants, and many herbs for flavorings. She shot six turkeys for meat and plucked certain feathers for arrow fletchings. She brought home four slain pronghorns and three deer for hides and food, and removed their teeth for use in adornments. As always, she shared any abundance with others and, in particular, with the elderly tivas.

  Some afternoons after the sun lowered and the air cooled, she sat on a rush mat with a willow backrest while she sharpened existing weapons or made new ones to use for defense during the impending journey. Not a day or night passed that she did not realize it was one sun and moon closer to a parting force beyond her control to halt and beyond her skills to battle.

  How, she fretted, could she turn and ride away from the man she loved, perhaps forever? Yet, how could she escape into his life without—Do not think of such a painful event, for you cannot stop it from coming.

  The scouts returned to report that Swift Crane’s band was camped far to the northeast. They told of how the enemy was being raided and challenged by the Crow’s fierce rivals, the Oglala, known to Cheyenne as Hotohkeso, friends and powerful allies of the Strong Hearts.

  It calmed the Hanuevas’ lingering fears to learn all their aggressors’ stamina must be used to battle the mighty Lakotas. Hanuevas delighted in the fact the Bird Warriors would have none left to focus on them.

  The scouts also said that no other Apsaalooke bands were within sight of their travels, so both camps relaxed and concentrated on their tasks.

  Days later, Stalking Wolf rode to where Taysinga was tending her horses away from the Hanueva camp. He stayed mounted as he cautioned, “I will point to where a herd of deer graze. You look that way and nod. Tell others that is what I came to tell you. We must speak swift as the arrow flies.” He got to the matter occupying his every thought. “If I seek Kionee’s heart, is there a way to remove the hand mark to protect the tiva secret for others?”

  Taysinga was—and yet was not—stunned by the question. She allowed her gaze to follow the direction in which he pointed. “Those who left the rank after sons were born had them burned away with hot coals. After the place healed and old skin fell off, a scar hid it.” She turned back to look into his imploring gaze. “Do you love and desire her?”

  “That is true, but I will do nothing to bring her trouble and shame, and I will never betray your words to me. I will await until after the Great Spirit clears the path between us before I speak and act. Help me, Taysinga, for she has won my heart and eye.”

  The tiva wished there was something she could do or say to help him obtain his goal. There was nothing, and Taysinga told him so. “If you expose her as a female, she will face great peril, certain death,” she warned. “The punishment for breaking her silence and vow is exile into the highest mountains during the coldest season. She must remain there alone, without weapons or other needs, for the span of three full moons. If she survives, she can return to camp to be forgiven and purified and her rank returned. If betrayal comes during the other seasons, no one can speak to her, she cannot meet with our council or with tivas, she cannot visit or hunt with friends, she must exist as unseen as the air, until deepest winter comes and her punishment and purification are done. Even Maja would be halted from helping her.”

  Stalking Wolf hoped his dismay did not show. He made it appear as if he was waiting for his horse to finish drinking from the creek before he left the location. “I cannot allow her to endure such danger and suffering.”

  “If Kionee commits treachery, Stalking Wolf, there is no choice for her to make, unless she escapes from our people in secret,” Taysinga continued revealing the shocking details. “Her family would be left in dishonor, left in need and anguish. Kionee would not do that to them, for her heart is good. For you or anyone to intrude on a sacred rite is forbidden and perilous. If you did so, it would destroy the truce between the Hanueva and Cheyenne, and you would be viewed as an enemy. You and Kionee would be forced to flee to far away to elude my tribe’s search. To stain the sacred visions of Stalking Wolf and Medicine Eyes which united us will anger and displease your father, shaman, people, and Great Spirit. To protect her and our bond, you must keep her secret and keep your distance from her. I am sorry I exposed her to you and fueled such futile love. I know these words cut into your heart, for I also live the pain of chasing one I cannot seem to catch while hiding my secret.”

  The warrior forced out a wide smile for anyone who might be observing them. “Our union will come to pass, Taysinga, for it also was in the visions of Stalking Wolf and Medicine Eyes. I do not know how or when, but Kionee will be released to become my mate. Do not fear punishment, for your words and deed are safe with me forever.” He nodded to her and rode toward his camp. He wondered why Kionee had not revealed to him such dangers to herself. In ignorance, he had subjected her to many risks of exposure so they could steal moments together. From this sun onward, he must not do so again.

  He thought the punishment practices were cruel, but that was the Hanueva way. He realized that some of his rites and customs no doubt seemed just as heinous to her tribe. The only escape was to steal Kionee and flee to another tribe and territory, but that, he reasoned, was not an acceptable or honorable solution to their problem. All he could do was wait for the Great Spirit to solve the matter for them. Now, he fully grasped why Kionee had said and felt their union was so hopeless.

  Eight days later, Kionee left the tipi of Big Hump to prepare for her people’s imminent departure. The Chief had sent Five Stars to summon her to thank her a last time for all she had done for him and his tribe. While concealed from the Hanuevas’ view in the midst of Cheyenne tipis, Stalking Wolf halted her to speak for a moment, which was all the time they had left together. “I love you,” she whispered in a rush. “My heart will yearn to see you on each sun and moon we ar
e apart. I promise I will come to you as soon as Atah releases me from my rank and duty. If it is not while snow blankets the land, I will see you on the hunt during the next hot season.”

  “I love you, Kionee,” he responded huskily, “and I will wait and pray for that sun to rise. Do and say nothing to endanger yourself. Our love is strong; it will be patient until we can be together; it will last forever, even beyond death.”

  “That is true. Now, I must go before someone comes to seek me; we ride soon. Tipis are being taken down and packed. Travois are being loaded. Horses are tended and ready. Until our eyes touch again, I love you.”

  Stalking Wolf watched her walk away from him and his heart thudded with heaviness. Return her to my arms and life soon, Maheoo, and guard her from all harm while she is not within my reach and protection.

  Kionee felt his potent gaze upon her back. She missed him already. She was too aware of the possibility of never seeing him again, too aware of the enormous obstacles between them, too aware of what faced her in the days to come with Night Walker in hungry pursuit. She prayed that Atah would send his eyes to Taysinga and let love enter his heart for her.

  Kionee glanced at the Haukau, which was being dismantled. It was a little beyond the time for another visit, one which her troubled body was delaying. As soon as it returned to normal, she would begin her flow, she reasoned.