My Once and Future Love

by Carla Krae

  Beth stewed during the whole meal. He had a hard time not laughing at her pout, but, since she stayed and he was a man of his word, he served her dessert. The pout melted when she saw the shell of chocolate.

  “Is this what I think it is?”

  “A very similar recipe. You wondered how they got the filling inside.”

  “I can’t believe you remembered that.”

  “My dear Bethie, I remember everything.” He’d been trying to get that through her head for so long.

  She nodded, then started to eat. Baby steps…

  Chapter Twenty

  I wore a casual business suit for the meeting. Nathan had a reservation at Spago Beverly Hills, so I didn’t want to be underdressed. A waiter guided me out to the patio, where Nathan sat at a table over in the corner. I carried a small portfolio, along with a CD of what I considered my best work. If this wasn’t an old friend, I would be sweating buckets with nerves.

  He rose and greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. “You look well. I’m guessing your trip was a vacation?”

  I blushed, letting the waiter seat me. “Yes, it was. Your sample contract was quite generous…but still vague.”

  “Right down to business, hmm? I like that. Let’s order first, though, then I’ll tell you what I have in mind.”

  “Alright.”

  I made a modest selection, knowing he would insist on covering the tab. I wasn’t very hungry, anyway. Once the waiter came and went, Nathan explained why I was here.

  “The offer is in two parts: I need a unified corporate vision, which is where you come in, and I also own a noted internet magazine that needs a photographer for Fashion Week in March. Things turn out well; you’ll have an opportunity to cover all major entertainment events.”

  “The second part isn’t exactly my specialty.”

  He shook his head. “The hard part is getting in. You just sit in a chair and photograph the models as they come down the runway. You’ll be fine.”

  “Okay…so, where do you want to start? Are you promoting you, or your holdings?”

  “Both.”

  Ideas started running through my head. “Alright. Pick the setting, and I’ll show up. I’m not fully free until the end of the month, but I can spare a couple days here and there in the meantime.”

  “Excellent. My secretary will be in touch.” The waiter brought our plates. “Enough business. How have you been?”

  I smiled. “Fine. Good, actually. I took my first vacation in years. I greatly recommend it.”

  “Seeing you in New York reminded me how much I missed you. I owe you a portion of my success.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. I got you through one freshman class, which you would’ve passed, anyway, if you weren’t pledging that fraternity at all hours of the night.”

  “Still with your source of complication?” he asked.

  “Yeah. How about you?”

  “Nothing serious. I rarely have time to sit on my own sofa.”

  “Well, I’m glad things are going so well, Nathan. And thank you for thinking of me.”

  He raised his glass. “To a fruitful partnership.”

  I joined in the toast. “I’m looking forward to it.”

  Jacob was at my house when I pulled into the driveway.

  I sighed. “You are most impatient, Jacob Lindsey,” I said upon entering the house.

  He sat in the living room with my father. “Elizabeth, the boy brought you flowers,” Daddy said.

  A small pot containing grape hyacinths sat on the coffee table.

  “They’re beautiful,” I said. “Dad, could you give us a moment?”

  “Of course.” Daddy kissed the top of my head as he passed, and went back into his office.

  I sat down on the sofa next to my boyfriend. “Hey.”

  “Hi. You’re dressed up.”

  “Business meeting. Couldn’t wait, huh?”

  “Never been good at that. Are you still mad?”

  I took his hand. “No. How do two people used to doing for themselves integrate someone else into the plan? If this is going to work, that’s something we have to figure out.”

  “I agree.” Some of the tension left his shoulders. “Now what?”

  “We fit each other in around work. Keep trying.”

  “And fumbling, and trying again?”

  “Yeah.” I smiled. He leaned in to kiss me, tentative at first. I caressed his cheek. He relaxed further and deepened the embrace. “Like that,” I whispered when we parted.

  ****

  They were cuddled together on a lawn chair in Beth’s backyard, looking up at the stars.

  “What do we have?”

  “About ten days,” Jacob said.

  “I think we should talk about rules.”

  He arched a brow. “Rules?”

  “Yeah, since I won’t be around. It’s your first tour where you can’t hook up with the groupies, you know.”

  “Ahhh, I see. However will I remember to keep my hands to myself?”

  She poked him in the side. “Jerk.” She sat up and straddled his legs. “Your mine, and don’t you forget it.”

  He tilted his head, as if searching for an answer. “You’re…who?”

  She brought her face nose-to-nose with his. “Beth. Lawson. And I’ll kick your ass from here to Tokyo if you ever cheat on me. Clear?”

  He grinned. “As crystal. I love it when you get bossy.” He closed the distance, eagerly capturing her lips.

  She whimpered, and wriggled in his lap.

  They must’ve been out there too long. The light above the sliding glass door started blinking on and off.

  “Mmm, let go, kitten. I think your dad is enforcing curfew.”

  “Huh?” She looked back at the light. “Oh. Geeze, that’s embarrassing. I’m twenty-seven!”

  “And living under his roof. Up. You know, if you come over to my house, there’s never a curfew.” Jacob snuck a feel of her ass helping her stand.

  “Hmm. Tempting. But then, I still have to come home in the morning.” She opened the sliding door and let him precede her, then locked it for the night.

  “Maybe you’ll have to look for an apartment while I’m away.”

  “Perhaps,” she said. “You better go before my father comes out to glare at you in his boxers.”

  “Eww! He wouldn’t.”

  “He might!” She pushed him toward the front door. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  He kissed her in the doorway. “Love you.”

  ****

  It was on the tip of my tongue to reply, but he was already dashing for his car.

  Interruptions happened constantly right up to the day Jacob left. Fate seemed to be conspiring to let us have no more than fifteen minutes alone together at any given moment. The frustration led to short tempers and grumpy moods.

  On October twenty-seventh, he went into secluded practice with the band. He tried calling me from Paris on the 1st before the concert, but he missed me because of the time difference. He left a voice message, starting a trend.

  November 3rd

  One week since I saw you last. I’ve tried to reach you by phone, but I guess you’re already working. I had a dream last night I wish I could share with you, but I’m not alone in the room.

  Write back soon.

  Jacob.

  November 5th

  I got the pic from your cell phone--very funny! Guess you boys are amusing yourselves. Celeste wants Bob to know she’s horny and wants him back (blush). Nathan, my new boss, has me really busy, but I check for notes from you all the time. I miss you.

  Yours,

  Beth.

  November 10th

  You should be proud of me: A girl slipped her number in my pocket and I gave it back to her. Aaron thinks I should get your name tattooed on my forehead, as I’m “completely whipped”. I’m not averse to body art, but I’d choose a place more hidden…and maybe you could find it.

  London calling… Send me a phot
o.

  Love you.

  Jacob.

  November 11th

  You are so bad! Tell me you won’t really get a tattoo of my name?

  Pic attached. It’s not from today, as I’m in Seattle and currently look like a drowned rat. Open it when you’re alone, okay?

  Beth

  November 13th

  I LOVE what you sent me. Wasn’t sure what to think when you said open it alone, heh heh, but you look beautiful. Baby, how do you manage to look so sexy without revealing anything?

  Love you, want you,

  Jacob

  November 23rd

  I won’t have much time this week. Andrew and co. are coming for Thanksgiving. It’s the first time since Mom died and he and Darcy got married, so I’m nervous. Wish you were here. I want you to meet my brother. I think you’d click.

  Dad already bought way too much food for four of us, so I invited Celeste, and Maria, if she’s not engaged with family stuff of her own. The mountains got an early snow--isn’t that crazy?

  Oh, I had a showing since we last “talked”. It went really well. Bora Bora was great inspiration. Thank you, again.

  I miss you and hope you guys get a meal on Thursday. This second month is going to be hard.

  Yours,

  Beth.

  December 7th

  Bloody hell, it’s cold over here! We just did an outdoor gig, and it was snowing. Am I getting paid enough for this? Have to bug my assistant.

  We had a panic recently when the truck carrying our equipment didn’t show up behind us. Turned out, they just had a flat and got delayed, but it was close. Knock on wood, no more bad luck.

  Stable internet connections are harder to come by as we head east, so I don’t know how much I’ll be able to keep in touch.

  I’m glad your family dinner wasn’t a disaster. Yes, I think you should go to Virginia for Christmas.

  The guys say “hi”.

  Jacob.

  December 11th

  Hope you aren’t still freezing your behind off. Things are really busy for me. I have a lot to tell you about when you’re back home.

  I baked gingerbread men today and gave one of them a gingerbread guitar. Wish I could mail you some, but I fear they wouldn’t reach you.

  I’m also working on your Christmas present.

  Write me back soon?

  Beth

  December 23rd

  Jacob? Hope you get this. I haven’t heard from you in almost two weeks. I know what you said, so I’ve been trolling fan sites for pics just to see you, but I still want to hear your “voice”. With Christmas two days away, I think about who is here and who I miss, and there’s a hole.

  I’m wearing the earrings you gave me, almost every day. Darcy loves them, and now Andrew says you’re making other guys look bad. He’s teasing, by the way. You should see my dad--he’s turned into a big softie for little Sarah. She’s walking short distances, and he hasn’t let her fall on her bum once. It’s so cute.

  We’ll do Christmas when I see you, okay?

  Yours,

  Beth.

  It should’ve been the happiest Christmas of my adult life. I was at Andrew and Darcy’s house, with my dad, on Christmas Eve for the first time ever. The first holiday together for the Lawsons since Mom passed away. It was snowing outside, the house was warm and cozy, but I couldn’t get Jacob out of my head.

  The time differences were a bitch, but we tried to stay in contact. The last message came this morning, a text that said “I’m OK. Don’t worry.” I hoped he was getting some kind of Christmas with somebody. We could’ve parted with a better goodbye.

  I tried to hide how I felt, of course, for my family’s sake. It wasn’t their fault my holiday was missing something. Darcy kept giving me things to do, though, so maybe I wasn’t fooling everybody.

  Elvis’ “Blue Christmas” came on the stereo.

  I moved to the window seat to watch the snow falling. Blue Christmas, indeed. Dad was taking a nap, Andrew was somewhere with the baby, and Darcy was in the kitchen. The tree mocked my pain, the cheery lights blink-blinking away. For once, I would’ve welcomed some “adult” eggnog, but was anybody making any?

  No…

  The song didn’t get to play all the way through. I heard Darcy whisper loudly to my brother to “change the song, now!” The “Frosty the Snowman” soundtrack came on, instead.

  I stretched and faked a yawn.

  “I think Dad had the right idea. Wake me when dinner’s ready,” I said, and went to my room.

  ****

  Darcy glared at her husband. “Would you monitor the stereo?”

  “Huh?”

  “Your sister is missing her boyfriend in a major way, dumbass. The last thing she needs is Blue Christmas!”

  “Oh! She hasn’t said--”

  “Of course, she won’t. It’s chick pain, for one, and two, your sister is the most independent woman I know. She’s not going to boohoo to her big brother that she’s jonesing for her man. So, act normal, but try to avoid anything sad. The situation just requires a little sensitivity.”

  Andrew wrapped his arms around her. “That’s why I married you--you’re smarter than me.”

  Darcy snuggled into his embrace. “And don’t you forget it.”

  ****

  On Christmas Eve we could open one present each after dinner. Andrew distributed everything, then took Sarah from Darcy. Dad’s face lit up at receiving the Western novel from Andrew. Darcy opened a sweater from me. Andrew’s gift was addressed “to Daddy” and contained a new pair of slippers. Sarah got a squeezable book from her Grandpa. That left me, who found a digital picture frame from my niece already loaded with a few family portraits.

  I blinked away tears when I got to the last photo, the five of us standing in front of their fireplace yesterday.

  “Thanks, you guys.” I handed the frame to Dad for him to see.

  “That’s a handsome bunch,” he said. His voice was a shade more gruff than normal, revealing he was touched, too.

  “Well, I have a Christmas torte in the kitchen. Who wants dessert?” Darcy asked.

  We’d just get awkward if allowed to get teary-eyed together.

  Once we all had a plate and a mug of cider, stories made the rounds. Andrew and Darcy talked and talked, keeping me from having to share and Dad from accidentally bringing up the subject of my relationship. Once Daddy called it a night, I hugged my brother and sister-in-law, thanked them, and went to bed.

  I changed into my “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” pajamas, brushed my teeth, then checked my phone. No messages of any kind. Blaming it on the snow, I settled into bed and tried to think of sugar plums.

  My dreams weren’t that pleasant.

  There were voices in the hall.

  I ignored them. It was just Darcy and Dad. Darcy got up with the baby, and Daddy never slept past 6:00AM unless he was deathly ill. I wished they’d move further away from my room, though. I wasn’t a deep sleeper.

  I managed to drift off again, not noticing when someone opened my door a couple hours later. They crept in, leaving the door ajar, and sat down by the side of the bed near my face, waiting for me to sense their presence.

  Patience must’ve been short. “Buh! Buh, Buh!”

  I yawned. “Hey, munchkin…how’d you get in here?”

  Baby Sarah smiled a toothless grin and gurgled happily.

  “Hey, somebody? Escapee baby in here!”

  I didn’t have my glasses on and rolled over when a male figure came in to get Sarah. The door closed a second later.

  “Too early for Christmas,” I mumbled in the darkness.

  “It’s nearing nine, lazy bones,” a voice softly said.

  Can’t be…

  “I’m dreaming…” I reasoned.

  “In Rudolph pajamas?” the voice countered.

  My eyes shot open. “It’s possible.”

  “Is it possible to dream with you, love?”

  “Ohmigod.�
�

  I rolled over and came face-to-face with the source. Only one person in the world called me “love” like that!

  “Are you here?” I whispered, afraid I really was dreaming.

  “You tell me,” he said, then kissed me. A kiss of two months’ pent-up passion.

  I felt tears running down my face, but I wasn’t going to let him go for a second to wipe them away. He seemed to read my thought, his hands coming up to my face, his thumbs brushing the tracks away under my eyes. I slid off the bed into his lap, wrapping my body around his.

  “How?” I gasped into his mouth.

  Jacob pulled back just far enough to break the kiss. “I had to come. We’re on traveling days, and I finally said screw it--we’re going to see our families one damn bloody day out of the year. You have me for twenty-four hours.”

  “I’ll take it! God, I’ve missed you!”

  He kissed me again. “Missed you, too…so much. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “Bethie…” He said my name with enough reverence to break my heart. “Again?”

  “I love you, Jacob.” Huh, not so scary the second time. “I have for so long. I just didn’t have the words.”

  “Think your dad would kill me if I shagged you right now?”

  I giggled. “Save it for later, big boy. I don’t want an audience.”

  He sighed, then I felt him smile as wide as his face would go. “Happy Christmas, sweetheart.”

  “Mmm. Best Christmas ever.”

  We would’ve stayed wrapped around each other on the guest bedroom floor indefinitely, but it was only a few minutes later when someone coughed very loudly outside the door. Point taken, we reluctantly parted. I opened the door to find my whole family eavesdropping in the hall.

  “Something I can help you with?” I asked.

  “Nope, just passing by,” Darcy said, then winked.

  Dad looked very relieved to find us both still fully clothed. I stifled a laugh as they went back to the living room. Jacob glanced at me and snickered, just as amused.

  “Get dressed, woman. I have presents.”

  I pouted. “But yours is at home.”

  “Correction, I already got mine.”

  I blushed. “Oh. Yeah. Gee, if I’d known you were that easy to please…”