Torn Apart

by Susan Aihoshi

  And Aunt Eiko can’t get through to the Kamloops hospital. We’re all still terribly worried about Geechan. Papa is exhausted and Mama’s not much better. I’ve said a prayer for Geechan every night since we found out he’s been ill, and I’m saying one again tonight.

  Sunday, July 26

  The gang got together today before Sachi has to leave. She’s been busy helping her mother but Mrs. Yamada said she could play some tennis with us this afternoon. So the four of us went to Pandora Park, just like always. We played doubles but none of us said this might be the last time. When we finished, we were going to shake hands, but Ellen said, “Jeepers, Sachi, come here,” and gave her a big hug instead. Then Maggie and I hugged Sachi too. The Musketeers are being split up!

  Monday, July 27

  Even Harry is feeling gloomy today. The Nine O’Clock Gun in Stanley Park is going to be silenced to save gunpowder.

  Wednesday, July 29

  Spent the last two days crying my eyes out. I can hardly write this. Geechan was never a patient in the Kamloops hospital, because he died on the way. He was living in a tent with the other men at the Tête Jaune camp and the snow suddenly melted, flooding everything. Geechan got really sick after that — maybe it was pneumonia. The camp supervisor sent Geechan to the hospital. That was when that man wrote to Papa. But Geechan never made it there. Another man wrote Papa telling him what happened, but then everyone went on strike to protest being separated from their families. The mail wasn’t sent until the strike was over. And then it was delayed by censors!

  I was furious when we found out about Geechan, but Papa is so devastated, I could only cry. No one ever said how much it hurts when someone you love is gone forever.

  Thursday, July 30

  Sachi and her family left today. I went to their house to say goodbye, even though I’m feeling wretched. Sachi cried too when I told her about Geechan. We hugged each other and promised to stay in touch, no matter what. Then Sachi said she was so glad I was her friend because I understood how hard it is to be Japanese AND Canadian at the same time.

  At least the Yamadas are supposed to meet up with Sachi’s dad wherever they end up. I’ll never see Geechan again.

  Monday, August 3

  Papa received a package on Friday. Geechan was cremated but his ashes had to be inspected by government officials before they were mailed to Papa. We took a streetcar to the harbour yesterday after church, and I felt so numb I couldn’t even cry as we watched Papa scatter Geechan’s ashes in the water. Mama, Harry and my sisters were weeping, but I just stood there until I saw a tear roll down Papa’s cheek. I reached for his hand and he squeezed mine back. Then I started to cry too.

  Wednesday, August 5

  Finally got a short letter from Mike today. He’s been somewhere called Sandon since June. He and some other Nisei are fixing up old buildings for the families being sent there. He says the place reminds him of an old wild west town.

  Emma is going to write him about Geechan. Harry wants her to ask Mike if there are cowboys in Sandon.

  Saturday, August 8

  I couldn’t sleep last night because of the heat. The crickets chirping outside made me remember the cricket cage Geechan made for me. I can’t bear to use it again, so today I buried the sticks in the backyard.

  Wednesday, August 12

  Ellen’s dad gave her some money for her birthday, so she treated me and Maggie to Revels. Ellen started to say our Musketeer slogan — “All for one and one for all” — but then she realized that Sachi’s gone and she stopped right in the middle.

  Monday, August 24

  The heat wave just won’t stop. Our vegetable garden is shrivelling up and Papa doesn’t seem to care. Geechan would never have let that happen.

  Rationing has finally arrived. We have to use coupons from our ration books to buy sugar, coffee and tea.

  Thursday, August 27

  Mama says the Hiranos have left for a ghost town called Slocan City. She’s so sad to see them go.

  A short letter from Sachi arrived today. It’s just three weeks old, maybe because it’s in English. It’s such a relief to hear from her. She and her family are living in some place called Lemon Creek in the Slocan Valley. And Mr. Yamada is back with his family, thank goodness.

  Sachi says they now live in a tent because the houses aren’t ready yet! There’s no running water so she has to fetch it from outdoor pipes shared by many families. It’s hard work and the water’s so cold her hands are numb after washing rice for supper. There’s no electricity either! But she sounds cheerful again, maybe because her father’s there. I’ll write her and mail my letter tomorrow.

  Monday, August 31

  Feeling blue again and don’t feel like writing here.

  Wednesday, September 2

  This has been the worst summer of my life. Can’t wait until school starts.

  Friday, September 4

  It’s so unfair — I can’t go back to Templeton! The Marchetti boys and the Schmidt kids CAN, even though Canada’s at war with Italy and Germany!

  Emma won’t get her senior matric at Britannia High. She’s really upset because she needs the diploma to become a nurse. And Harry can’t start Grade Three. No Japanese Canadian students can return to school this fall.

  Maggie tried really hard to cheer me up but it didn’t work. What can she say or do that will change anything? She’s a good friend, but she has no idea what it’s like to feel so helpless. The ONLY good thing about this is I won’t have to worry about Billy Foster.

  Tuesday, September 8

  It was strange not being in school today. Maggie promised to tell me everything that’s happening at Temp this year. I wonder if Sachi can go to school where she is, or whether they even have a school there. I was going to read to keep my mind off things, but I’ve read all the books in the house and I can’t use the school library anymore.

  Thursday, September 10

  Maggie’s a peach! Today she brought home a few books for me from the school library, so at least I’ll have something new to read. I’ve just started Lorna Doone.

  And she told me that she and Ellen didn’t join the school choir this year. They said it won’t be the same without me and Sachi. Maggie may even quit Guides because Sachi’s gone and I can’t go anymore because of curfew, but I told her not to stop because of me!

  We had another letter from Tad. He may go to Toronto to find work when the sugar-beet harvest is over in St. Thomas.

  Monday, September 21

  I’m in a funk not going to school. Grass hockey has started without me! Today is the first day of fall. The days are getting shorter, so curfew will be harder and harder.

  Oxford Street feels so different. The Muratas left last week, so their house is all shuttered up and abandoned looking. Mama doesn’t go to Powell Street anymore, since most of the shops are closed. We have few visitors now and the house is so quiet without Tad and Mike and Kay around. Nearly all the Japanese families have moved away. I’m worried we’ll be next, but at least Papa is still with us.

  Tuesday, September 29

  Tomorrow Aunt Eiko leaves Hastings Park and goes to Kaslo. Most Japanese have been sent out of the protected area, so the Commission told her she’ll be more useful helping people in the interior. She came to say goodbye tonight but had to leave before it got dark. She gave us all hugs and asked me to look after Harry.

  Another family member leaving! I’m so upset, but there’s nothing I can do.

  Thursday, October 1

  I haven’t had much to write because (1) I’ve been really busy, and (2) I’ve been feeling too awful these days. Mama keeps saying, “So many hard choices to make.” And then she mutters, “Shikata-ga-nai.”

  That’s what she said when we had to give Rags away. We’re leaving Oxford Street and can’t take him with us. He’s gone to Maggie’s family, so I know he’ll be well taken care of. I cried and cried when Maggie came to get him. She cried too. But there’s been no time to feel sorry for
myself because I have to pack.

  Just like Sachi’s mother, Mama has been anxiously going through our things, deciding what to take and what to leave behind. We’re only allowed so much per person but I’m bringing my little camera, no matter what. I’ll hide it well so we won’t get into trouble!

  And what’s almost as bad as losing Rags is that I can’t take my bicycle. Papa says it’s not a necessity! All that work picking berries for nothing. I was angry when Papa told me but I know it’s not his fault. And losing a bicycle is not like losing a fishing boat or a business. Shikata-ga-nai — how I dislike that saying! I gave my bike to Maggie.

  Sunday, October 4

  Kay came by today to pack up the things she wants when we leave Vancouver. She’s told Mrs. Mitchell she has to leave soon and will give as much notice as possible. Harry’s started sniffling, so I hope it’s not another cold.

  Tuesday, October 6

  I had a short visit with Rags at Maggie’s house tonight. Mama let me go to Guides one last time to say goodbye to my friends. Rags was so glad to see me, he licked my face like he’d never stop. He looked very confused when I left him behind, his head cocked to one side and his ears up.

  When Maggie, Ellen and I got to the church, I told Miss McLeod my family is leaving Vancouver. She asked if we were going to the one of the internment camps in the interior like Sachi. I said until the Mounties tell us where we’re being sent, for now we’re moving to rooms above my mother’s old newspaper office at Cordova and Gore. Miss Alston said, “Oh, in Japantown.” I’d never thought of the area around Powell Street as Japantown, but there really are a lot of Japanese businesses there. Or there used to be. When the meeting ended, both leaders shook my hand and wished me all the best. Afterwards, Maggie, Ellen and I rushed out so I could get home before dusk.

  Wednesday, October 7

  Today Mama and Papa gave our refrigerator and wringer washer to the Youngs. The cast iron stove is too heavy to move and is staying behind with the piano. Papa even gave Geechan’s bonsai to Mr. Young, since we can’t take those either.

  Rags came home yesterday afternoon! Harry and I found him in our backyard. He was so glad to see us, he ran around in circles. I hugged him and patted him for a long time. But eventually we used some string as a leash and took him back to Maggie’s. When Mrs. Svendson tied him up in their yard, he looked perplexed and he made the saddest noises when we left. I couldn’t look back when Harry and I went home.

  Although we must leave our home, Mama says the rooms over the newspaper office are better than going to Hastings Park.

  Thursday, October 8

  We left Oxford Street this morning. Kay was lucky she wasn’t here for this. I’ve never felt this bad in my life. Mama and Papa put all the boxes with our really good stuff in the attic, just like the Yamadas. We’re only taking the everyday things to use while we’re gone. The furniture is covered with old sheets. We took most of our luggage and parcels down to the newspaper office by streetcar earlier, but Emma and I went back to the house for a last farewell.

  It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. We walked through the rooms and I kissed the wall in each one goodbye. I thanked the house for being such a good home to us. I even went out to the backyard and kissed Geechan’s fruit trees. And I said a prayer that we won’t be gone long. The house looked so lonely when we finally closed the door.

  Friday, October 9

  I hate not being at home. It’s not like when I went berry picking or when I went to Guide Camp, because I knew I was going home again. I miss Geechan and Mike and Tad and Sachi and Maggie and Rags and

  Saturday, October 10

  I just couldn’t write any more yesterday.

  It’s hard to believe we’ve left Oxford Street. But it isn’t for forever. We’ll go back home again, I’m sure. The Guide motto is “Be prepared,” so I’ll try to look forward and not back.

  We’re living above Mama’s newspaper office. There are lots of rooms up here, so perhaps this building used to be a boarding house. An old man, Mr. Nakamura, is staying here too. He has an enormous St. Bernard that drools a lot — Mama and my sisters think it’s disgusting. But I don’t think that Mr. Nakamura can bring his dog with him to the ghost towns. It’s hard enough taking it out for walks because of curfew. The dog makes me feel sad, though, because it reminds me of Rags.

  Monday, October 12

  Today is Thanksgiving. I wanted to write that there’s not much to be thankful for these days, but I’m trying to be positive because of that part of the Guide promise — to smile even under difficulty!

  We actually had a pretty good Thanksgiving meal tonight. Kay brought over almost an entire turkey and all the trimmings she’d cooked yesterday. Mrs. Mitchell barely touched a thing and insisted that Kay bring us the leftovers.

  We missed Geechan, Tad and Mike, the Hiranos and Aunt Eiko, but Mama asked Mr. Nakamura to join us. He said it was his first-ever Thanksgiving dinner and it was oishii — at least for Canadian food!

  Wednesday, October 14

  Harry’s ill. He’s always been a bit sickly and now he has a fever. Mama’s quite worried. Papa went to the Powell Street Drugstore to get some Wampole’s Vitamin Tonic because he thinks it might help.

  Thursday, October 15

  Things are getting even worse. Papa has been “detained.” That’s the word Emma used when Mr. Nakamura asked where Papa had gone. Some official-looking men came here this afternoon and asked Papa a lot of questions. Emma said they were Mounties. Then they took Papa away in a car. Emma asked if he was being arrested and they said no, but he “was needed to help in their inquiries” — whatever that means. Emma phoned Kay and explained what happened.

  I’m SO worried now, what with Harry being sick and Papa gone. I hope everything will be all right. I know crying won’t help, but it’s really hard not to. Emma can tell I’m anxious — she gave me a big hug tonight.

  Friday, October 16

  Dr. Kuwabara came to see Harry last night and sent him to St. Paul’s Hospital. Mama is with him. I’m more worried than ever, especially because we don’t know what’s happened to Papa or where he is. I hope that he hasn’t been sent to a road camp. Mr. Nakamura has gone now too. We don’t know where he went either or what happened to his dog!

  And to make things worse, today a Mountie brought papers for my sisters and me. We must leave Vancouver next week but we don’t yet know where we’re being sent. Kay gave Mrs. Mitchell notice and is joining us tomorrow — she says she needs to be here since both Mama and Papa are not!

  I am really frightened and anxious. Tonight I’m praying for each and every one of my family. I hope God is listening.

  Sunday, October 18

  My sisters and I went to mass this morning at the Catholic mission down the street on Cordova. There were few people because most Japanese have left Vancouver now. I prayed hard for Harry to get better and for Papa to come back to us soon. And I prayed that our family will be reunited, no matter where we end up in the coming weeks.

  The nuns at the mission were very kind. They said they’ve been writing the government since the spring to protest the treatment of Japanese Canadians, but it’s made no difference. They’re moving to some of the ghost towns themselves soon, to help the people there.

  Maggie came to see me today. She’s such a good friend that she rode her old bicycle instead of mine, in case I’d feel bad seeing it. Rags escaped from their yard again and went to our house on Oxford Street. I guess he can’t understand why we left him behind. I feel so sorry for him. Maggie found him making his way back to her house looking very dejected!

  And speaking of dejection, I told Maggie that Kay and Emma and I must leave Vancouver on Wednesday. She grabbed my hand and the two of us cried our eyes out. Maggie promised she’ll come back to say goodbye. I asked her not to bring Rags because it would be too much for us both.

  Monday, October 19

  This morning my sisters and I learned where we’re being sent — s
omeplace called New Denver. We must be at the train station Wednesday morning with our belongings. Now we’ve got to decide which bags and parcels to take with us and which to leave for Mama and Papa. I’m trying hard not to be anxious. It’s a good thing Kay and Emma are staying so calm and composed. Emma even remembered to write Tad and Mike so that they’ll know where we’re going!

  Tuesday, October 20

  Our last day in Vancouver. We STILL don’t know where Papa is. Emma suspects his detention is connected with the upcoming big inquiry that’s in all the papers. It’s about the RCMP and the Security Commission’s involvement with that shady Mr. Morii. Maybe they need Papa’s help.

  Meanwhile Mama is with Harry at the hospital. I wish my big brothers were with us. I’m really scared about what’s going to happen once we leave.

  But just like she promised, Maggie came to say goodbye after school. She even brought Ellen, Ida and her brother Len. I took pictures of everybody using my little camera. Maggie whispered that she’d say it belonged to her if any police or Mounties turned up. But none did.