by Ciarra
I followed behind Loco as he lead the way to Killa’s room. When we got there Slim was sitting in his room with his feet up. He had the same crazy look Loco did when I walked up. Their bodies were in killer mode. I was just trying to figure out what Killa would like if he woke up. I walked over to him and cringed at the site of him. Killa had tubes coming out of every direction. Despite all of that, the beeps on his machine sounded fine. I walked over to Killa and squeezed his hand and kissed his forehead.
“Hey Killa, it’s me, Dayja. I’m sorry for what happened to you. I’m praying for you my baby, but I know you’re going to pull through. You still owe me some Applebee’s fat head.” I paused and looked around and noticed that Slim and Loco both had left me in the room with Killa. “Damn, it looks like everybody left us. I can’t believe we are becoming back cool like this. I’m sorry for what I did to you. I truly am sorry if. I could take it back I would. I never meant to hurt anyone and I never meant to hurt you.” I kissed Killa on the forehead. I squeezed his hand before walking out and it felt like he had squeezed it back. I smiled and left out the hospital room. I wanted my Killa back. I knew at the moment I had to figure out whatever I needed to do to get him to love me again.
Part Two-The crazy thing love will do
Brook
I was sitting in the nail shop when I heard that Killa was shot. I was just praying he was dead.
“Yes girl, I heard they aired his ass clean out,” I heard one of the girls say to the other. I just had to butt in the conversation.
“I’m sorry, I overheard you ladies talking but did the gentleman die?” I asked them in the nicest voice I could muster up.
“No, he didn’t. My baby daddy fucks with him and he said he didn’t die,” she replied to me in the most ghetto voice ever.
“Aww, that’s good, and what did you say his name was again?” I asked her.
“Umm Killer I think, some hood shit like that. I bet that nigga had hoes after hoes,” she said to me. I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders. I was almost done here and then Bee was going to be on his way to take me and our lil baby out to eat. Me and Bee have been getting along lately. I was so happy for us. I had finally kicked Jay’s ass out of my heart. I just hoped and prayed this baby belonged to Bee so I wouldn’t have to worry about dealing with him in future.
“I done,” the nail tech said to me. I was happy to be done with the shop. Thank god for the gel polish and the instant dry machine. I got up, walked out the shop and spotted Bee on the side of the building leaning against his car smiling in some female’s face. I rolled my eyes at him and walked in front of him and got in his car. I was so happy that I was carrying his child. Any other time I would have tried to fight her ass without even thinking about the situation at hand. Bee got off the car, walked to the driver’s side and started up the ignition. I wanted to ask him who the female was but I decided to keep the peace and leave the situation alone. I didn’t even have the time and energy to argue with his ass.
The whole car ride with Bee, I kept thinking about Killa. I was upset his ass didn’t die. He needed to. I haven’t talked to Loco since the day we texted. I had been dodging his ass like a bullet. I was not trying to trying to fuck with Loco no more. He couldn’t even get me a gun when I asked him for one, which meant that he couldn’t do shit for me in the near future. I knew the night when I had fought Dayja, Killa was the one who came out and saved her ass. Man I hated that nigga.
“Man, why your face just scrunched up like that?” I heard Bee interrupt my thoughts and say. I looked at him and smiled.
“No reason baby,” I leaned over, kissed him and said. It was time for me to get out this car and plan some things. I needed to get a rid of Killa and Dayja but damn, how? These things used to be easy when Dayja, Lovely and I used to fuck, rob and sometimes kill. It was different when you were doing it on your own.
We pulled up at the house and Bee told me he had to go meet with Demetri and handled some business and he would catch me later. Of course, I chucked up the deuces real quick and told him to be on his way and I’d catch him later.
I walked into my house and flopped on the couch. One minute I was starting to hate my life and the next I was loving it. The only reason why I was hating it was because I didn’t have any friends. It was hard being alone for the first time. I didn’t have any siblings, or none that fooled me with me. My parents were Mexican and they hated the fact I became friends with black people. My father disowned me and my mother was my father’s pet, so whatever he didn’t like she didn’t either. Oh well, I was going to hurt the pay people that hurt me. One way or another, I was going to pay everybody back.
I ended up falling asleep on the couch and woke up to someone knocking on my door. I pretended not to hear it and stay still because whoever was there needed to leave. Their ass was definitely not invited. Bee had a key to my place so I was pretty positive whoever it was had to be someone I didn’t like. I pulled myself off the couch and walked to the door. I looked out the peephole and noticed it was an Edible Arrangements guy. I quickly opened the door as fast as I could.
“Yes,” I opened the door and said.
“These are for you,” the guy said handing me a big basket full of fruit.
“Who are these from?” I asked the guy. He looked at the card and it said,
Be safe little lady and enjoy the fruit
I didn’t know what to say to the card. I took the fruit from the guy and walked into the house. Somebody was sending threats and some more shit, but it’s cool, I was going to enjoy these fruits and kick back. Nobody had me scared. If shit happens to me shit happens. It probably was Dayja thinking she had somebody scared but she already knew I was about that life, no if and buts about it.
I sat on the couch and wished that maybe I should have killed her ass too.
Killa
I woke up in the hospital. I looked to my left and spotted Slim knocked out next to me in a chair.
“Ahh,” I tried to get some words out my mouth and say. Slim heard me trying to talk because he immediately woke up. He smiled at me and ran out the door. I guess he was going to get a nurse. A few minutes later a nurse came back. She gave me a cup full of water.
“Hello Mr. Antwone I am Nurse Regina. You have been out of it, do you remember what happened to you?” she asked me.
“Yes, I was shot walking outside the strip club,” I told her. She nodded her head. I was in a lot of pain in my back and my arm.
“Is your back hurting you?” she asked me.
“Yes it is,” I told her. She then informed me that I was shot in my back but the bullet went in and went out. She also told me I was shot in the shoulder. She said I passed out because of the blood I seen and my body reacted differently. I shook my head. I have been shot like ten times in the last two years. Damn!! I needed to find out why those dudes were beefing with Slim ass. Maybe it was God telling me that I needed to get my life together and settle down. The nurse informed that the police had been here to speak with me, but since I was out of it, they left and eventually they would come back.
I was sitting here trying to figure out where Slim had gone. He got up and never came back. I had just gotten a dosage of my pain meds when the detective’s walked in.
“How you doing today Mister Antwone?” the white detective asked me. I looked at him and rolled my eyes.
“I’m sitting in the hospital with a cast and shit, how would you feel if you were me?” I turned around and asked him.
“True, true, do you know who shot you? We will be trying our hardest to get the person who did this to you but you will have to cooperate with us,” he looked at me and said. I told him I didn’t know who had shot me and I heard people arguing and maybe the bullet hit me by mistake.
“Well Mister Antwine, or should I call you Killa; you’ve been going through a lot this past year. You have been in and out the hospital plenty of times for being shot. Maybe someone one is trying to kill you,” he smirked at me and said. I sh
rugged my shoulders and told them again I didn’t know anything. The detective threw his card at me and told me to call him if I remembered anything. He was pissed at me but I couldn’t do shit. Even if I was six feet down or in the heaven gates above, I would never snitch, even if I did know who shot my ass. When you live by the gun you die by it.
I was laying in the hospital, having just got done from begging the doctors to discharge me. They told me I had to stay there for at least two more fucking days. I couldn’t be mad. I needed to get my health right because I was going to let the guns speak for themselves when I got discharged. Slim and Loco both been by to see me left and right, but I told them to leave. I needed time alone to gather my thoughts. I was watching Jerry Springer when the last person I expected to, walked through the door.
“What’s up boy, you must have thought I forgot about you, huh?” Dayja asked as she walked through the door. She had Popeye’s in her hand.
“Wow, I’m surprised to see you here,” I told her. She looked at me and rolled her eyes and told me she was here the morning I had gotten shot and I was knocked on meds so she couldn’t see me. She made me a plate and sat in the chair across from me. I was really shocked to see her in front of me. For all I know she could have been the one who tried to kill me. I haven’t seen her since the night I dropped her off at the hospital.
“Why you looking at me like that, you don’t think I had anything to do with this do you?” she asked me with a concerned look on her face.
“Well I don’t know, did you?” I asked her as I took a bite out of my chicken. Her head twisted to the side and she snatched my plate from me.
“Hell no I didn’t have anything to do with it, just like I don’t know if you had something to do with Brook jumping on me. She is fucking around with your friend and shit, but it’s cool. I thought we left the past alone, but I guess you still on the bullshit,” she told me as she started packing up her food. Damn, shorty could have at least let me eat my food before she dipped.
“Dayja, I just got shot the fuck up. You know I’mma low-key person and move in silence. You know that yourself. Of course I got questions, I need to be sure. You got a crazy ass brother too,” I told her ass. It could have been her lame ass brother trying to shoot me up and shit, and used Slim to get the party started.
“Killa I’m sorry for what I did to you. Yes, I robbed you, shot you and left you for dead. I sincerely apologize for that. And you even apologized to me. Are we as adults ever going to walk away from this?” she asked me. I didn’t understand how she asked me that. She didn’t know shit. If this were any other nigga in any other situation, they would have killed her ass, her friend’s ass and her wacky ass brother too.
“You and I both know if I wanted to kill your ass I would have been done it,” I told her. I tried to lean up but a pain shot in my back.
“Aww shit,” I mumbled to myself.
“Are you okay?” she asked me before she grabbed her bags. I shook my head up and down and just like that, she was out there door. I shrugged my shoulders and I got mad at her ass. She could have at least left the chicken; she didn’t even eat Popeye’s. I cut the TV off and closed the curtains. I needed a nap.
Dayja
I walked out the hospital from seeing Killa’s ass, mad as hell. This nigga had me all the way fucked up, really thinking that I had something to do with him being shot. I wanted to run back in there and throw this whole chicken box away. He was ‘bout petty as they came. I was walking so fast to my car that I didn’t even notice a police was writing me a ticket in until I got closer.
“Man, I wasn’t even here that long,” I told the cop. I didn’t even wait for him to reply back. By the time I put on my seatbelt, he was putting the ticket on my car and I was pulling off. “Fat bastard!” I yelled to him.
I drove around the streets of Minneapolis until I found myself at Lake Calhoun. I was sitting on my car enjoying the scenery when my phone started to ring. It was an unknown number and I really didn’t want to answer it, but I did anyway, and to my surprise it was Killa.
“Aye shawty, I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry but I ain’t gone lie, ever since I met you my life has been hetic and upside down. My life was never this bad. Yea, I got my hands dirty here and there but something is not right about you. I like you, don’t get me wrong, and I want to be there and protect you but damn, it’s too much protecting you. It’s like I’mma lose my life in process,” he spoke to me through the phone. I told him okay and disconnected the call. I was going to deal with Killa on my own time.
I was enjoying this moment and this scenery. Moments like this I wish my friend Lovely was here. She was always the smile to a bad situation. Damn I missed my girl. I didn’t understand how someone could take her life. She wasn’t as bad as they came and neither was Brook and I. When Lovely and I first met, it was in third grade. We both started at the same school. We were seated next to each other and were paired up. Everyone had to introduce their partner and their favorite thing to do. We both said double-dutch. For lunch, we played double-dutch, and Lovely and I were cool ever since.
I was shocked when I heard that Lovely and Brook was getting down and doing threesomes and crap. I never thought Lovely was like that. Lovely was hood as hell but she was the sweet one. She was cool, calm and collective; her smile was the one to brighten up the room, while Brook and me turned up twenty-four-seven. I was sitting here reminiscing and started to get disgusted. I started to miss my friendship with Brook. I hate that our friendship turned out this way because things were going good for us before the situation with Killa happened. Brook and I were the friends out the crew that always argued, but we had each other’s back. I got really sad thinking about her. Yes, she did jump me and I probably deserved it. I was debating on if I wanted to put my pride to the side and talk to her. She was really the only friend I had and the only person who carried many of my deepest, darkest secrets. She was a good friend overall.
After hanging out at the lake for some time, I decided it was time for me to head to my brother’s house and get some sleep. Tomorrow I was going to go out and get registered for school. I knew that school started in about month, so that had me wanting to hit one more lick just one last time, and hopefully that would hold me over until I got a job and got my life together.
I made it to my brother house within fifteen minutes flat. I walked into the house and noticed they both were sitting on the couch with their feet up. Of course, it didn’t take long for Tiffany to speak out to me and ask me where I’ve been and how I’m doing. I told her fine and that I went to the hospital and paid Killa a visit. As soon as the words left my mouth, my brother Jay was jumping down my throat. “Ugh, why you go see that nigga, you lame as hell,” he said, looking at me disgusted. I rolled my eyes at him. I didn’t need to hear nothing from this nigga. “Because I wanted to and we squashed the beef and I decided to pay my friend a visit,” I told him in the nastiest tone I had ever spoken. I could tell he heard the venom in my voice but oh well, I honestly didn’t care. My brother was always trying to control me and how I felt about certain people. Killa could have been the real reason why people haven’t killed me yet, especially his two partners in crime, Slim and Loco. Man, the three of them together was a deadly combination. They all had happy-go-lucky trigger fingers, and from I heard Killa and Loco had the rowdiest one’s ever.
“Man, you fucking with that nigga and he going to have you killed. Bullets don’t have eyes and you already see bodies have been flopping this summer and wasn’t none of them the targets,” my brother said to me as he flopped down on the couch. I definitely had to agree with him, that Minneapolis was becoming something different. We were almost the bay version of Chiraq. I walked into my brother’s kitchen and open his fridge…no food, no nothing. All Tiffany and my brother did was fuck and eat out. She wasn’t the type of woman to stay home and cook a hot meal for him. She was in school and doing her thang but dang, all they did was order out. I was surprised she wasn�
��t fat.
“Man Tiff-Tiff, do you ever cook?” I called out and asked her.
“Yes I do, but your brother is always asking for food from restaurants and I just choose to eat it with him,” she yelled back to me. I shrugged my shoulders and sat at their kitchen table. For some odd reason, Killa was on my mind heavily. Maybe I should go back and apologize to him. I kept admitting to myself that I loved Killa and I honestly did. I found myself thinking about him constantly.
While I was sitting in the kitchen at the table, my thoughts wondered back to Brook. I had two options for her ass. I could either kill her or choose to let her live. I didn’t want to get my hands dirty but I know I needed to teach her ass a lesson one last time. I needed to teach her not to fuck with me.
“What you in here thinking about, your boo?” Tiffany interrupted my thoughts and said. I laughed and rolled my eyes at her.
“Umm no, I’m not thinking about anybody,” I lied to her. We were cool but I didn’t want to tell her I was thinking about him.
“Hey have you thought about going back to school?” she asked me. I looked at her and turned my nose up.