“Yes. I agree. Faith is safer here.”
Her words hit me. “You can’t be thinking of leaving.”
“I can’t?” Kayla lay back in the grass.
“No.” I shook my head. “You can’t. You need to stay here. Faith is far too young to risk traveling.”
“I know. And she’d be fine here with you guys.”
Quinn stumbled back a few steps. “What? Leave Faith? Are you crazy?”
“I’m not all that great at this mother stuff anyway. You’d do a better job if it came down to it, and I’ll be back.”
“Absolutely no way.” Quinn knelt down beside Kayla. “You know I’d do anything for Faith, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to leave.”
“We can’t sit here forever.” Kayla sat up.
“We won’t. But not yet. Wait until the girls are older. Or Mason comes back.”
“And if he never comes back?” Kayla asked the question I knew she would. “For all we know they already broke through the wall.”
“Mason would have come back for you.” I had absolutely no doubt about that. “I can assure you nothing would stop him.”
“Why? Why risk the trip back? He could be of more help in negotiations or whatever else needs to happen.”
“Because he is in love with you. And a man in love will do anything.” I kept my eyes on Kayla rather than Quinn.
“Love is something hard to define.” Kayla yanked more grass.
“Oh, come off it.” Quinn rose to her feet again. “You two are in love. No amount of time and distance is going to change that.”
“I’m only saying that we can’t use the theoretical possibility of a feeling as a basis for decision making.”
“You sound like a scientist right now,” I teased.
“In another life maybe.” There was a bit of a wistful tone to her words.
“In another life, what?” Bolton walked out of the darkness. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing,” Quinn snapped. “You missed nothing.”
“What did I do?” Bolton narrowed his eyes.
“You know very well.” Quinn put a hand on her hip.
Bolton strode toward where Kayla still sat. “Kayla, care to interpret for me?”
“Ignore her. She’s in a mood.”
“I’m in a mood? You’re the crazy one talking about leaving.”
“Leaving?” Bolton visibly startled. “What?”
“I already told her she’s crazy.” I wasn’t going to listen to another argument about this. There was no question. Kayla was staying put. “Save your breath.”
“Why would you leave?” Bolton sat down beside her. “And she’s not crazy.”
“Because we are sitting ducks here.”
Bolton nodded. “We are.”
Quinn laughed dryly. “Really? Just walk away if you are going to egg her on.”
“Let me finish,” Bolton intoned. “We are sitting ducks here, but would we even be ducks elsewhere? I mean would we even be alive? You know how brutal it is out there. You’re a breeder, Kayla.”
“But we know so much more now.” Kayla stood up. “We know they have a cure outside of this country. So being a breeder isn’t such a big deal.”
“Yet no one can get outside of this country. Plus, do we really know that?” Bolton stood.
“You’re telling me now that you doubt it’s true?” Kayla spun to look at him. “Now? After letting Mason leave?”
“Of course, I assume they are telling the truth, but how do they know for sure? And was it a full cure or a half one? We don’t know enough to make decisions.”
“So, we get more information. It’s the only way.” Kayla’s eyes were wild in a way that I’d never seen before.
“She thinks she’s going to leave Faith with me and go off.” Quinn made a shooing motion with her hand.
“I don’t think that’s the right approach,” Bolton spoke gently.
“Oh?” Kayla tapped her foot. “Then what’s the right approach?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know for sure. Give me some time.”
“We might not have a lot of time.”
“Right now that’s all we have. You said it yourself. We’re sitting ducks. We’re sitting here waiting. We might as well use that waiting time to our advantage. It never pays to make split-second decisions—didn’t we learn that the hard way?”
“I’m sorry.” Kayla reached out for him. “I’m so sorry.”
“You can stop apologizing. That was ages ago. And none of it was your fault.”
“It was my fault.” Kayla looked down at the ground.
“No. It happened because I met you. But that doesn’t make it your fault. You and I are not enemies, so blaming each other for anything makes absolutely no sense. It’s a waste of energy.”
“I agree with Bolton.” I couldn’t just stand there. I was the one who promised to protect her. “In that before we make any decisions we need to take some time. We need to plan.”
“Plan for what?” Quinn gave me a skeptical look. “We cannot be seriously considering leaving. This is the safest place possible.”
“Or so we think.” I let my words fall. “We don’t know everything.”
“When does anyone know everything?” Quinn wrung her hands. “I’m going to bed. This conversation is pointless. And Kayla, if I wake up to find you gone, I’m telling Faith you abandoned her.”
“Oh, because I’d just leave? Without a goodbye?” Kayla hissed loudly.
“Well, crazier things have happened.” Quinn stomped off toward the cabin.
Quinn
I wasn’t as lackadaisical as I let on. Not by a long shot. I knew that as comfortable as we were at the camp, the outside world would find us eventually—if it hadn’t already. But I didn’t want to face that reality. Not yet. It’s not that I wasn’t careful. I was. I never let myself fall asleep completely—it was a skill I’d learned soon after Bailey was born. And perhaps even more importantly, I didn’t let myself fall in love.
Hours after our conversation outside Kayla and I lay awake in our beds. Neither of us spoke, but I could always tell when she was awake. Normally I would have let it lie, but something was going on with her. Something I needed to get to the bottom of. I sat up.
“You okay?” She whispered in the dark. At least she hadn’t pretended to be sleeping.
“Yeah, but want to get some air?”
Kayla was usually the one asking that question. “Sure.”
We met outside a few minutes later. I grabbed my blanket. It was late fall, and evenings were growing increasingly cool.
She took a seat in a deep wooden chair. “Couldn’t sleep?”
I sat down on the railing, wrapping my blanket around me. “What’s really going on?”
“Excuse me?” She pulled her legs up under her. She’d also brought her blanket outside, but it sat untouched beside her.
“You know what I mean. You know exactly what I mean.”
She shook her head. “I don’t.”
“Come on, Kayla. Don’t be like this. There was more to that conversation earlier. You suggested leaving Faith behind with me. That’s serious.” I lowered my voice when I mentioned Faith’s name. She was too young to understand what we were talking about, but she’d recognize her name if she was awake.
“There isn’t anything. Forget it.”
“I’m going to get angry.” I was already frustrated and incredibly worried.
“Oh yeah?” Kayla’s lips quirked into the faintest hint of a smile.
Her smile annoyed me, but I pushed that off. There were far more important things to contend with. “Yes. Something is going on. You were talking about leaving Faith.”
“With you.” She draped the blanket over her legs. We slept in pants, but they were made of a thin material. “It’s not as though I want to leave her all alone.”
“But that still means leaving her… how could you do that?”
“Because I want her to
have more than this.” She spread her arms out. “Both her and Bailey. They deserve more.”
“You mean more than us.” That’s what she wasn’t saying.
“Yes. But is that a bad thing?”
“Tell me what you think you are going to accomplish by leaving.”
“I can help.” She gripped the blanket tightly in her hand. “I can do more than just sit here.”
“You aren’t just sitting here. You’ve transformed the crops. But that aside, how else do you think you can help? You have no idea where the others are. Or where Mason is. Because I know that’s who you’re looking for.” Normally I would have tiptoed around things, but this wasn’t the time.
“He doesn’t even know about her.” Tears slipped from Kayla’s eyes.
I hopped off the rail and sat next to her. “It’s okay to cry.”
She wiped away the tears. “It’s not.”
“I cry plenty.”
“But that’s you. This is me.”
I took her words for what they were—about her. She wasn’t criticizing me. “You don’t always have to be the tough one. You can let me take on that role once in a while.”
She smiled. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I took her hand in mine.
She squeezed my hand. “Then let’s talk about you.”
“What about me?” I leaned back against the chair.
“About you and Maverick.”
I looked toward the cabin next door where he slept now. “What about him? There is no us.”
“You know how he feels about you.” Kayla leaned into my side.
“So?” I would have had to have been oblivious to miss it, but I was also smart enough to understand that it might be nothing more than lust. I was more than capable of tamping down my own growing feelings.
“What are you so afraid of?” She lifted her head. “Why are you so determined to ignore what is so clearly there between the two of you?”
“Weren’t you just the one telling me it was too quiet?”
“And what does that have to do with you being afraid to open up to Maverick?”
“Everything.” I tightened the blanket around me. “It has everything to do with it.”
“Explain. Are you afraid of what would happen if you got pregnant again? Is that what this is about?”
“Well, that’s taking things to an even deeper level, but even if we never got that far—what then? I get distracted? It doesn’t work out, and I cost us one of our few allies? I can’t afford that. I need him as my friend.”
“Eventually he’s going to push for more.” Her voice was low. Hushed.
“He hasn’t so far.”
“Like I said. Eventually.”
“And so, what? I get to make my own choice. Do I have to let it become more if I don’t want it too?”
“I guess that’s the question, isn’t it? Do you want it to become more?”
“Nope. No more of this. I called you out here because you have issues.”
She laughed. “We both have issues.”
“If only Father could see us now...” I looked out at the darkness, almost able to picture Father walking toward us.
“He’d be happy.”
It was the first time I’d brought him up in months. It usually hurt too much, but I was trying to move past the hurt, so we could remember him the way he would want to be remembered. “We stayed together.”
“Stayed might not be the best word.” Kayla let the blanket fall to her lap. “But we are together right now.”
“I hope the girls have what we have.”
“They will. They’re growing up as sisters.” She put an arm around me.
“At least in this messy world they’ll have each other.”
A shout came from somewhere in the distance.
“What was that?” Kayla startled.
“I don’t know.” My heart rate accelerated.
“You stay with the girls.” Kayla jumped to her feet.
“No. Wait for the others.”
We didn’t have to wait long. Maverick came running out of the cabin next door. “What happened? Why are you out here?”
“We couldn’t sleep, but that has nothing to do with what we just heard.”
“Get inside.” Maverick pointed to the door of our cabin. “Now.”
“No.” Kayla shook her head. “You stay with Quinn and the girls.”
“No.” Maverick’s eyes gleamed. “You are staying here. Where it’s safe.”
“How do you know it’s safe here?” Kayla raged. “You don’t.”
“If it’s not safe here, then why leave your daughter?” Maverick stepped toward her. “I respect your willingness to fight. But don’t be stupid. The traders don’t want me. But they sure want you.”
“We don’t know it’s the traders.”
“Same answer if it’s Central.” Maverick took a step away from her.
“I’m tired of sitting back and hiding.” Kayla’s shoulders slumped.
“Tough luck.”
Kayla turned to me. “Quinn, a little help here?”
“You know how I feel about this. I’m not letting anything happen to you. And you have Faith to think about.”
“We can’t sit around and argue.” Bolton ran toward us from across the grassy area. “All of you stay here. I’m going.”
There was a series of scratchy noises over the loudspeaker. Anywhere else I could have written them off as nothing, but I knew what they were. We’d practiced the signal before.
We all froze.
Maverick’s eyes widened. “Get the girls.”
Kayla ran inside, and I was on her heels. It looked like Kayla’s sixth sense was just as strong as it had always been.
Mason
We were being stupid and reckless. I wasn’t sure which was worse, but I was sure we were both. Yet that didn’t mean we were making a mistake. Turning back wasn’t an option and sitting there waiting for the right moment that was never going to come was the worst option yet. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Addison was right. It was time to take action.
“Are you sure this isn’t overkill?” Addison adjusted the straps on the weapon belt I’d given her.
“Is that supposed to be a pun?”
“How are you even joking at a time like this? Also, when did you get a sense of humor?” She zipped her jacket up.
“Love has done stranger things to a man.”
“Oh, yes. I’m sure.” She rolled her eyes.
“Denver would agree.”
She spun to look at me. “No more about Denver.”
“Okay. Not until we find him.”
“If we find him I don’t care what you say.” She kicked the dirt with her boot.
“We’ll find him.” I couldn’t know for sure, but I didn’t think he was dead. He was entirely too clever for that. But he was in trouble, otherwise he would have come back for Addison.
“Here.” My hand shook as I handed over a small capsule.
She paused with her hand halfway to mine. “I thought I couldn’t have one.”
“I thought about what you said. About preferring death to the alternative, and well, I respect your decision. Kayla would probably choose the same one.”
“I’m not going to use it unless I absolutely have to.”
“Good.”
“You have your capsule then?”
I shook my head. “No. I’d rather be tortured if it leaves any chance for me to see her again.”
Addison’s eyes widened. “Wow. You really do love her.”
“I promised her I’d be back.”
“And you stick to your promises.”
“That I do.” And I’d never cared about keeping one more.
“Okay. As I was saying, don’t you think this is going overboard?” She touched some of the grenades I’d attached to her belt. “Notice I changed the word, so no more jokes.”
“No. We have no idea what we’re up against.” Whatever it was it
wasn’t going to be good.
“But is being this prepared worth the risk of being slowed down?” She rolled her shoulders back.
“Are you going to let it slow you down?”
“Yes, and so are you. It’s impossible not to slow down when you are carrying this much weight.”
“Give me some of yours.” I held out my hand. “I don’t mind.”
“Oh. You’re going to wear more?” She narrowed her eyes.
“Yes. We’re not leaving any of this behind.”
“Wait.” She held out her hand in front of her. “You’re worried someone is going to find it and use it.”
“That’s one reason.” And it was a big one. Whether we got through the wall or not, there was no reason to leave anything behind for our enemies to find. Even if they had more than enough weapons themselves. It’s hard to fight when your enemy is the government of one of the most powerful nations in the world.
“We could destroy it.” Her hand moved back to a grenade.
I shook my head. “Not without calling attention to ourselves.”
“And wearing all this stuff isn’t going to do the same thing?” Addison pursed her lips. “Let’s hide it.”
“I’ll tell you what. I’ll wear what I can. We hide the rest. You don’t have to wear any of it.”
“Oh yes, because I want to go into this completely unprotected.”
“Didn’t you just complain about having to wear it?” I sighed. I understood where she was coming from, but I didn’t have the time or energy to deal with it.
“Having to wear so much. Not that I didn’t want to wear any.”
“Following your thinking is exhausting.”
“Following you is exhausting.”
“Fine.” I held out my hands. “Give me what you want to give me.”
“Nope. I’m fine. Maybe it hides what I am.”
“Nothing is going to hide that, but if it makes you feel better.”
“Ugh. You are incorrigible. Sometimes I wonder what Kayla sees in you.”
“Only sometimes?” I laughed.
“Let’s go before I change my mind.”
“And let me remind you that this plan was your idea.” I was well aware she didn’t need the reminder, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t give it to her.
The Corded Saga Page 34
