You Are Mine

by Janeal Falor

  I scan Cynthia's dress. It's a two piece Katherine designed, one more bold than I've seen. The colors are similar, but different enough that it's easier to tell it's not a simple dress. And those colors. Shades of jade hovering on being too bright. What's she doing wearing it now? Why couldn't I have realized before and saved us from the coming turmoil?

  She straightens her back. “A new dress. Do you like it?”

  “Is that a two piece?” His voice lowers to a growl. “Are you wearing tarnished clothes?”

  Cynthia's lower lip trembles. “I—It...”

  Leaving the safety of Zade's arm, I step forward. “It's just a little something I told her to wear for greeting guests before the ball, Father.”

  Zade joins me as Father says, “You told your sister to wear tarnished clothes?”

  Not today. Not ever, really. Why did she have to be so anxious to show it off? “It's just a trifle, Father.”

  His fist flies. Before I realize what's happened, Zade extends his own arm, blocking the punishment. Father waves his hand. If he can't hit me, he'll hex me. I reach in my pocket and take hold of the gun, but I can't shoot him just for hexing me.

  Zade steps in front on me with a turquoise spell, effectively shielding me and part of Cynthia. Bethany huddles closer to us. I keep a firm hold of the gun, just in case. I don't know what I'll do with it, but it makes me feel better.

  “May I remind you, Councilman, that Serena is no longer yours to punish.”

  Though I can't see him, Father's response sends chills through me. “That will soon change.”

  Will Father be the one to kill him? Right here? My hand aches from grasping the gun hidden within my pocket.

  “You don't have as much power as you think.”

  “Perhaps. But I may have more than you think.”

  The hall is quiet. I grip the gun tighter. Can I really use it if need be? Against Father?

  “I hope you find your rooms adequate.”

  “Doubtful.” Father smirks. “Cynthia, gather your things. You'll be staying with your mother.”

  Her head lowers and she moves toward the stairs.

  Father adds, “Next time I see you Cynthia, it had better be in something suitable for a Councilman's daughter.”

  Father mutters after a servant. Mother spares us a glance, her lips pinched together, and follows him. Once they're out of ear shot, I face Zade.

  “Why didn't you do something?”

  “What can I do? I'm in enough trouble as it is and she belongs to your Father.”

  “She shouldn't belong to anyone.” Tears prick my eyes. I let out an angry huff.

  Zade watches me, his face drawn.

  “Don't worry,” Cynthia says. “It's my own fault. Thank you for trying to help, but I should have known better. I've been here so long, I'd almost forgotten how things are.”

  She heads up the stairs. Bethany calls after her, “I'll help.”

  “I can help, as well,” I say, climbing the stairs after her.

  “Wait, Serena.” Zade pulls me to a stop. “We need to talk.”

  I look at Cynthia and Bethany. There's nothing more I can do for her that Bethany can't do better. Maybe Zade has a thought on how to help. Or maybe it's something to do with his death. “If you think we need to. I'll see you two later.”

  They nod and hurry up the stairs. I doubt they'll take long packing. If they do, they'll probably send a servant for the rest. You can't keep Father waiting.

  The tears burn my eyes until a few trickle out. I brush them away and follow Zade to his study. The closer we get, the more my stomach knots. If any more guests arrive, they'll have to do without a personal welcome. We enter. He shuts the door and casts his spell that prevents eavesdropping.

  “Why don't you have a seat? Or stand if you like. Whatever you want.”

  He paces over to his desk and shuffles through a few papers. After picking the chair closest to the desk, I perch on it. The maroon one still holds too many bad memories.

  He pinches the bridge of his nose. “We've got to do this.”

  What can that mean? I grip my hands together.

  Grabbing a nearby chair, he hauls it next to me and sits down. He clasps my hands in both of his. My breathing quickens. As much as I like the contact, it's unusual. What's this about?

  “Serena. I think I've found a way for you to not be owned by your Father again.”

  A puff of air escapes me. I don't want to think on his death. I lean back in the chair, our fingers trailing away from each other. “What do you mean?”

  “Just what I said.”

  “You're giving me to someone else?”

  “No.” His face grows stern. “Never.”

  He's tarnishing me. I'm surprised he hasn't done so before now. But if it's my choice, what do I want? If his plan doesn't work, I want to be with him as long as I can, to the end. If my becoming tarnished works, I'll be like Katherine. Her life is hard and she has things easy for a tarnished. But if it will save his life, it would be worth it. And better than being back with Father.

  “You can think on it. It's your choice. Stay with me or not,” he says. “If possible, I would like your answer before the ball.”

  I nod. “I'll think on it.” My voice feels tiny. “If this is what was going to happen, why did you accept me in the first place? Why not leave me with Father?”

  “I wasn't going to accept you. It goes against what I wanted.”

  His mention of being previously engaged comes to me. That was what he wanted. It must be what he still wants. To spare his life for an Envadi girl, perfect for him. Is his previous choice still waiting back at home or will he have to find a new one?

  “When I saw how your Father was treating you...” Several moments pass before he can unclench his jaw to speak. “Still, I didn't want to force you into being stuck with me. I only brought the lawman to help me keep the Chancellor title and everything that came with it. Except for you. But I'd talked to others before I came to the meeting to try and decide how to handle it.”

  “Wait, why did you want the title? And what other people did you talk to about it?” Most warlocks would want it just for the power and money, but Zade's different. Why haven't I thought of it before? His work on the council, the way he keeps secrets, things he's said. Oh. He's— “You're an Envadi spy.”

  The muscles in his face tighten, but he says nothing.

  “It's true, isn't it? I can see it in your face.”

  “You can't tell anyone.”

  “Who would I tell?” Though I can't be the only one that knows. Others must have guessed.

  “Your sisters. Katherine.”

  Perhaps I do tell them a lot, but not this. “I know how to keep a secret. Aren't you a bit young to be a spy?”

  “This is my first assignment. It wasn't even supposed to be. I was going to watch my Dad at the tournament. Help him get as far as he could and gather information. But then he got sick on the way here and I had to take his place. He and my mother aren't here because he's still sick.”

  “Is he going to be okay?”

  His shoulder's slump. “I don't know. I hope so.”

  “You weren't supposed to be in the tournament?”

  “No.”

  “Then how did you do so well?”

  His cheeks turn the familiar shade of pink. “I've been trained since I was little. Best in my class.”

  “Probably best in more than just your class judging from how well you did at the tournament. I mean, you won against Thomas.”

  He squeezes his eyes shut. “I didn't mean to. I wasn't trying to kill him, it just happened. One minute everything is fine, the next I attacked instead of blocking and he was dead. Just dead. It was only supposed to knock him out, instead I killed a man.”

  I cup his cheek with my hand. His scruff scratches against my palm. My heart aches for him. “You didn't do it on purpose. I can't imagine what it must feel like, but I'm grateful you did. You've been kinder to me than he
ever was.”

  With a deep breath, he opens his eyes. “I'm glad for that, at least. When you finally came out to meet me, you were clearly terrified of him, though tried to hide it. Now I know that terror was justified. But then—” he shakes his head, “you looked just as terrified of me.”

  “You would have been as well if your future owner was so much bigger than you, and belonged to a country everyone says is barbaric.”

  “I can't do anything about my size, but I hope my barbaric ways haven't bothered you.”

  Warmth grows within me. I smile at him. “Not in the least.”

  His gaze pulls me. I move toward him. Is he going to kiss me again? I want him to. Breathing becomes more difficult.

  The door opens. Zade's salmon-colored spell zaps away as he leans away from me. I sigh. Of course he wasn't going to kiss me.

  “Are you ready to dress, sir?” Chadwick, his manservant, says.

  Reality washes back over me. The ball, dresses, my sisters, and the one I want to avoid, but can't: his death. Those are the only things going on, not another kiss. I should be focusing on how to help, not kissing. I sit back in my chair and shake myself. What's wrong with me?

  “I'll be up in a moment.”

  “Very good sir.” He leaves, closing the door behind him.

  Before Zade can utter a word, I stand. “I should get ready as well.”

  “Will you think on my offer? I don't want you trapped.”

  There's really no other choice. If it shows the council, and everyone else, that he can take control of women by tarnishing me and saves his life, it's what I want him to do. I'm just want a little time to process my new fate. “I'll think on it.”

  “Very well.”

  As I hurry to my room, I can't help but feel confused and uncomfortable. A spy. It makes sense. I should have guessed before. It makes sense he would want to get rid of me whether or not he was to be killed.

  Being a tarnished wouldn't be so bad. Katherine said the hardest part was getting to where she is. I could do it. I can do it. I just have to leave him behind in the process. Leave him, to save him. Losing more freedom will be worth it.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  I twist my hands together and wait for the door to open. It's been hours since I left Zade, and the strain of our conversation keeps pressing harder on me. My room seems extra empty. Cynthia isn't here and won't be coming. The dress made just for her won't be used. I've always been with her. How can I do this without her? She must be taking the brunt of Father's anger. Perhaps I should break her out. Easier than the other path I'm faced with.

  The door opens. Waverly steps in. Not my ball gown then. Which won't fix my problems anyway, but would at least give me something to do.

  “Zade wants to know when you'll be ready to talk with him.”

  It hits me. How she always says his name. How they're both from the same country. How they knew each other from before. How familiar he is with her. My stomach clenches. I grab onto the bedpost and cling to it. His offer wasn't just about saving his life or getting me away from Father. It's about his previous fiancee. She's the one he wants.

  “Tell him...” that he doesn't have to worry about me. I'll do what I can to save his life and I'll figure something out with my own. “After I'm dressed I can talk. Katherine should be here with my gown soon.”

  “I saw her coming. I'll let him know, then I'll be back to help.”

  The last thing I want is to spend more time with her. She's been wonderful, but I can't handle being around Zade's love right now. “Why don't you get yourself ready? It's a big night for you, as well.” I wonder if she knows how big yet.

  “I want to help you though, it's my job.” She stares at me a moment. “What if I brought my stuff back here? Then we could all get ready together.”

  I force a smile. “Sounds nice.”

  Before she leaves, Bethany enters the room. Her navy dress glitters with silver sparks of magic, hair twisted up between Chardonian strictness and Envadi freedom. A single tendril escapes behind her right ear. She must have already seen Zade because silver sparks also adorn her hair. Matching silver earrings and necklace glow faintly. Zade must have spelled those, as well. Her face paint is modest and becoming. A little red on her lips and cheeks. But the true beauty is the natural glow she exudes.

  “She's ready, Katherine,” she says into the hall.

  Finally, it's here. I'll get to see it. I wait for Katherine to enter with my dress. I don't know why I'm so nervous all of the sudden. Easier to be nervous over a dress than saving Zade and losing the freedom I've gained being with him.

  Katherine appears in the doorway. She holds a gown of burgundy. It shimmers in the light. She brings it to me, a grin gracing her face. Without a word, I run my hand across it. It's as soft as flower petals. So many emotions course through me. I wish Cynthia was here. And mother.

  I want to wear this. I want to be beautiful. Tonight at least. Zade may love another, but we're still connected from the engagement ceremony. I'll make that connection worth having one last time.

  “Put it on,” Bethany calls.

  Before I can move, the gown changes. It's a lovely green. The laces are on the sides and the arms go halfway down the dress. Simple, but gorgeous.

  I suck in a breath. “What happened?”

  Waverly beams. “Katherine made more than one gown and Zade spelled them together into one. It'll change every ten to fifteen minutes.”

  The causal reference to Zade twists in my chest. I try to ignore it and center my attention back to Katherine. “You made me two gowns?”

  She blushes. “Three actually. I was timing it so the best would be last.”

  The twisting in my chest turns to tightening. I swallow. “You shouldn't have done so much. It's more than I hoped for. Just these two are stunning.” I stop before I begin to cry. “Thank you.”

  “Let's get you into the gown before it changes again.”

  “Yes, put it on,” Waverly says. “I'll be right back to see it.” She scurries out the door.

  With Katherine and Bethany's help I change from my robe to the gown. It's not easy to get into like my new dresses, but I suppose for an occasion like this it's fine. If I waited until the first gown spelled back, I could manage on my own. It looked easy enough. This version still has a pocket with a slot to reach my gun. Knowing Katherine, they all do.

  As they finish helping, I can't help but ask, “Is there a ring of green in my eyes?”

  “Yes,” Katherine says. “I planned some of your gowns to help bring it out.

  “Really?” Bethany twirls me around to check. “Subtle, but there. Why the sudden interest?”

  The room warms. “No reason.”

  Katherine's making a few adjustments when Waverly returns. “He said he'll be here soon.”

  I look away from her grin. It's not that I don't want her to be happy, I do. It just hurts. I try to shove the feelings away.

  “Hurry,” Katherine says. “Get in front of the mirror, it's already been thirteen minutes, it could change at anytime.”

  Once in front of the mirror, I can't believe my reflection. The dress is perfect. And then it changes.

  One moment I'm wearing a green dress, the next I'm in a dress the color of pearls. Definitely not dark enough, but I've never seen a color so suited to me. Tiny, clear jewels are sewn on the full skirt and snug bodice, making it glitter in the light. The cap sleeves flow into the square neckline. The only problem is my visible engagement mark. Despite that, I'm stunning.

  “You can wear just this one for your wedding tomorrow if you want,” Katherine says. My wedding was supposed to be tomorrow. With planning the ball, I almost forgot. Just as well. “I know women typically wear black, but the Envadi wear white so you'll have an excuse. When I asked Zade, he said it would be a simple spell to unwind the dresses into three separate ones again.”

  I pinch my lips together. I would have made the most spectacular bride Chardonia has ever see
n. But it's just as well. I don't want to get married. Zade deserves to live, even if it means I have to give up everything.

  “You're an artist, Katherine.” I embrace her, taking what comfort I can.

  “Don't get tears on it.” She pulls back and holds out a handkerchief.

  Accepting the proffered cloth, I laugh. It comes out sharper than I meant. I dab my face dry.

  “You look wonderful,” Bethany says. “Katherine, you're talented. It suits her. Sit down Serena, and we'll finish getting ready.”

  I comply, letting them fuss over my hair and face paint. The paint is as light as I like it, if I have wear it. None of the white paint, but a shine to my lips and kohl to my eyes. My hair is twisted and coiled and puffed in a style like none I've ever seen. I can't hate a woman who can do this to my hair. Though at this moment I wouldn't mind if she was back in Envado.

  I sigh. “Thank you, everyone. You're the best of friends.” I turn to Katherine. “I wish you could come with us.”

  “All I want is to see how everyone likes the gowns I created. Zade showed me a nook on the second floor where I can watch the party without being seen.”

  “I'll have to be the jealous one then. This ball will be a better experience than last time I'm sure, but I wouldn't mind watching instead.” I try to hold back my creeping emotions. “I'll make sure to bring you something to snack on.”

  Katherine says, “I admit, I've been wanting to try some of the Envadi treats ever since Waverly talked of them.”

  “I'll be sure cook sends some,” Waverly says. “You'll be wanting to dine in Envado every night after this.”

  A knock sounds. I jump from my chair. As Waverly moves to open the door, Bethany gives me a half smile.

  “Is it time?” I ask.

  Katherine fluffs my skirt out. “Back to the white. Perfect timing. He's already seen it, but it will be better with you wearing it.” She nods to Waverly who opens the door.

  Zade stands at the entrance in a suit of black and a pearl colored cravat and folded handkerchief in his left pocket, same color as my dress. I realize he's been observing me while I've been perusing him. Heat floods my cheeks. I glance at Waverly.