Let Me Love You: Beautifully Broken Book 1

by Samantha Wolfe

  "It's pretty bad, isn't it?" Mathias asked me as his face turned grim.

  "That's an understatement," I growled under my breath.

  "The police are done looking at everything, and the insurance company is coming out tomorrow morning to assess the damage. Hopefully, we can get back to work relatively quickly," Mathias told me. I nodded. "If you can be here by nine tomorrow that would be great. They want us here when they go through the place."

  "I'll be here," I agreed. "Right now, I need to get the hell out of here before I lose my shit."

  "I don't blame you," he said. "That's why I haven't gone back out there again today. I'm leaving shortly myself."

  "Are you ready to go, Sydney?" I turned and met her eyes. She nodded and stood up as I approached her.

  "I'll see you in the morning," I told Uncle Mathias.

  "Good-bye, Mathias," Sydney said to him with a warm smile. "Thanks for the entertainment."

  "Anytime, sweetheart." He returned her smile and gave her a wink. I fought the urge to growl at him again then took Sydney's hand and led her out in the rain. When we were back in the truck, Sydney looked at me intently.

  "How bad was it?" she asked with concern.

  "It's bad," I answered her reluctantly. "You don't want to know anymore than that."

  "Oh," she said quietly, then nodded after a moment. "Alright, I'll take your word for it."

  I was glad she didn't push for details. I was grateful she trusted me. I didn't want to frighten her anymore than she already was and seeing her scared would send me over the edge. I couldn't lose it right now, or I'd go after Clay again, the consequences be damned. I needed to get my shit together, but the anger was still simmering below the surface, ready to blow.

  "How about we go to movie?" she asked suddenly. "It might take your mind off this shit."

  I stared at her for a moment and shook my head in amazement. How did she always know what to do for me? "That's a great idea, actually," I replied with a sigh of relief.

  "Of course, it is." She smiled. "I'm the brains of this operation, remember?"

  "Yes, you are, baby," I answered with a nod. "Yes, you are." I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it, then put the truck in drive. She looked at me with a self-satisfied smile, and I realized that my mood was already improving as I pulled the truck out onto the road again.

  The movie didn't take my mind off things at all, but sitting next to Sydney in the darkened movie theater teasing her certainly did. I caressed her arm and her leg, occasionally sliding my hand up her inner thigh until I was almost touching her pussy and sliding it back away again just to hear the sound of her frustrated sighs. I played with the hair on the back of her neck with lazy fingers, gripping the back of her neck in my hand periodically, making her gasp softly with need. It was the sweetest torture as she returned the favor and surreptitiously danced her fingers across the denim over my cock now and then. I began whispering all the dirty things I wanted to do to her when we got home into her ear, and she squirmed in her seat for me. All my focus was on her, and I ended up missing most of the movie. I didn't care at all.

  "You paid an awful lot of money to tease me for two hours," Sydney said to me as we walked back to my truck after leaving the movie theater. Thankfully, the rain stopped sometime during the movie. We stopped next to the passenger-side door, and I pressed her back against it with my body and leaned in close enough to brush my lips across hers.

  "It's called foreplay, baby," I whispered then kissed her deeply, running my hand down her side and grabbing a handful of her sweet ass. "And worth every cent," I said as I pulled back to look at her. Her eyes were wild with desire, and her chest rose and fell quickly with her panting breaths.

  "Please tell me we're going home to your place right now," she said breathlessly.

  "As long as you end up naked under me, I don't care where we go."

  "How are you so horny all the time?" she asked with a sensual smile.

  "I just can't stop wanting you all the time," I replied, kissing her until we were both breathless again. "I need you so much."

  "Then take me home so you can do something about it," she demanded as she grabbed my shirt in her fists.

  "Yes, ma'am," I said with a groan of need. "Will you stay with me again tonight? I want you naked and all to myself until morning."

  "I knew I should have packed that damn bag again today," she said with a sigh. "We'll have to make a stop at my place first, but yes."

  "Good," I grinned and hugged her against me, breathing in her scent and reveling in the feel of her soft body against mine.

  "How are we going to get naked at your place, if you don't let me go long enough to get in the truck?" she asked in amusement.

  "Sorry," I mumbled sheepishly and stepped away from her. Touching her and holding her was a compulsion that I had no control over. I needed it, needed her sometimes so much that it scared me.

  "Don't ever apologize for holding me," she said vehemently. "I love it, don't stop." She raised up on her toes and pressed a quick kiss on my lips that made me smile. "Now, get in the truck, dummy."

  "Yes, ma'am."

  A little while later we pulled into the lot of Sydney's apartment building. The rain still hadn't returned, and the sun was actually starting to peek out of the clouds. We walked into the building holding hands and rode up the elevator in comfortable silence. The rage from a few hours ago was under control, and I was feeling calm and relaxed. At least, I was until we walked into Sydney's apartment to find that Lauren was home. We were greeted by the smell of baking cookies as we walked through the apartment door. I was slightly relieved when Lauren smiled at our arrival. Maybe Sydney was right, maybe Lauren didn't hate me after all.

  "Hey, guys." She greeted us warmly. "Want a cookie?" Lauren was standing in the kitchen moving just baked cookies onto a cooling rack with a spatula. "I made your favorite, Syd."

  "What are you doing home at this hour?" Sydney asked as she dragged me over to the cookies. I glanced at the wall clock and noticed it as almost three-thirty. Where the hell had the day gone already?

  "I only had a half-day today," she answered. "Thought I'd do some baking to make up for our fight the other day." Lauren was wearing jeans and a red v-necked T-shirt; her long blond waves pulled up into a twist at the back of her neck. I realized how much they looked like each other. They had the same coloring and high cheekbones. Lauren's blue eyes were just as startlingly clear as Sydney's gray ones. I looked down to stare longingly at the cookies, and Lauren noticed. "Go ahead, have one Jensen. I owe you an apology, too."

  "For what?" I asked as I looked up at her in confusion, we had hardly spoken to each other at all the other day.

  "For giving you a bad first impression," she said with a sigh. "And sending Sydney to you in tears. I'm usually not such a bitch. I just get a little overprotective of Syd sometimes. I'm sorry."

  Now that was a feeling I understood well. Being overprotective of Sydney had already gotten me into trouble this week when I went after Clay. "No apology necessary. I kind of showed up out of no where as far as you were concerned. There's nothing wrong with protecting your sister."

  She nodded as we shared a look of understanding and then Lauren held a cookie out to me on the end of the spatula. I took it with a nod and bit into it. It was fucking amazing. It was warm and gooey and perfect. It was the best chocolate-chip cookie I had ever eaten.

  "Holy fuck!" I blurted out while still chewing, staring at the rest of the cookie in my hand in awe. "These things are the shit!"

  Lauren and Sydney burst out laughing. Sydney shared a look with Lauren.

  "Another addict is born," Sydney said with a snort. "Are you sure there isn't crack in these things?" she asked as she took one for herself. She took a bite and made a face that I had only seen before while we were having sex.

  "A magician never reveals her secrets," Lauren replied with a huge grin of pride.

  "Or drug dealers," I said with a smirk as I fin
ished my first cookie and reached for another.

  "I'm going to go pack some clothes," Sydney announced as she walked away with her cookie. "I'm spending the night at Jensen's place tonight." She disappeared down the hallway to her room. I took a seat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar across from Lauren. Lauren sighed as she looked down the hall then turned a serious gaze on me. I paused eating the cookie in my hand and suddenly felt like a trapped animal.

  "Jensen," she began, putting her hands down on the counter between us. Her face was calm, but her eyes stared at me intently with a glitter of threatening heat. "I want to be supportive of Sydney and the things that make her happy." She paused to take a deep breath and released it with a sigh. "But I have to wonder what your intentions are here, since you guys have gotten pretty serious after only seeing each other for a few days. Her life hasn't been easy, and I don't want her to get hurt again."

  "I have no intention of hurting her," I replied, deciding that Lauren deserved honesty after everything she had done for Sydney. "I love her," I told her, meeting her eyes with all the sincerity I could show her. She looked genuinely startled by my words, and I wondered what she had expected me to say. "I've never felt this way about anyone before." I meant every word; no other woman ever affected me like this. I had only thought I was in love before and even the girl who broke my heart in college hadn't made me feel what Sydney did now.

  "Alright," Lauren said with a nod then narrowed her eyes at me. "But just so you know, if you do hurt her, there will be hell to pay." Of that, I had no doubt. I could almost feel the intensity of her stare boring into me.

  "I'll keep that in mind," I answered her quietly. Now I understood the Mama Bear reference.

  "Good. Now eat your cookie." Lauren went back to moving cookies onto the cooling rack again, and I continued eating, feeling like a scolded child who had done something wrong.

  A few minutes later, Sydney emerged from the hallway with her duffel bag slung over one shoulder. Her face lit up when she looked at me, and I felt this electric jolt of energy all over my body. I rose and met her halfway across the room before I even consciously decided to do it, and took the bag from her wordlessly. For a moment, I forgot we weren't alone, and I caressed the side of her face with my free hand. Her eyes trapped mine, and a look of longing filled her face. I couldn't look away from them as I stared helplessly at her flawless beauty.

  "You guys want some cookies for the road?" Lauren asked, breaking the spell Sydney had me under. I glanced up at Lauren to see that her eyes had softened as she watched us, a small smile playing across her lips.

  "You mean Jensen didn't inhale them all while I was packing?" Sydney said to her sister as I followed her back over to Lauren.

  "I know better then to fuck with Mama Bear," I said and met Lauren's eyes as they lit up in surprise at my use of her nickname. Lauren smiled at me in acknowledgment, and I returned it, feeling hopeful that I could prove to her that I was worthy of Sydney.

  "He's smarter than he looks," Sydney said and patted my cheek. I glared at her with narrowed eyes.

  "Haven't I taken enough abuse today?" I asked her with a growl.

  "Oh, honey, I haven't even gotten warmed up yet," she said with an evil glint in her eyes. I looked at Lauren for support.

  "Don't look at me," Lauren said with amusement. "You're on your own with that."

  "Lucky me," I said with a smirk at Sydney.

  "Try to save a few for Sydney," Lauren said to me as she handed Sydney a small container filled with cookies. Sydney went around the breakfast bar and hugged her sister. I stared at them and felt a sudden pang of pain and loss as thoughts of my brother came to mind. I looked away, grinding my teeth together and shoving the feelings back down again. I didn't want to face how much I had lost or admit that watching them made me feel jealous and petty. Sydney released her sister and looked at me, her eyes zeroing in on mine with concern. I looked away again, not wanting to appear weak in front of her or her sister.

  "Ready?" I asked Sydney as I moved toward the door, needing to get the hell out of here, now. She nodded and followed me. "It was great seeing you again, Lauren. Thanks for the cookies."

  "Anytime," Lauren replied with a smile. "See you later."

  Sydney and I walked out into the hall, and she closed the door behind us. She looked at me and I finally met her eyes. They were filled with a knowing compassion that didn't make me feel weak; that actually made me feel better. She wrapped her hands around the back of my neck and pulled me down for a kiss. The comfort she offered me easing the ache in my heart a little.

  "I know," she said as she pulled away from me and understanding filled her face. "I used to feel that way all the time when I saw my friends with their parents. It's okay."

  I felt my eyes start to sting, and I nodded in acknowledgment; afraid speaking would be too much for me. She took the container of cookies from me, took my now free hand in hers, and led me to the elevator. She said nothing all the way down to the truck, giving me the time I needed to get myself back together again. Fuck, I loved this woman, and I didn't know what I would do without her anymore.

  I was still feeling tense, and out of sorts when we got back to my place. Sydney had said very little all the way home, sensing that I needed some space, but I just couldn't seem to snap out of it. I understood that Sydney wanted to help me, and that she knew what I was going through, but almost losing it in front of her had certainly rattled me. I wanted to be the person she could count on, the one who could always take care of her, but I was so broken that I wondered if that would ever be possible. How long would she be willing to wait before she'd had enough of my bullshit? I had felt so hopeful this morning, but now I just didn't know if getting better was even possible. I didn't want her to constantly be the one looking out for me and wondering if I was ever going to get better.

  We walked into my condo, and Sydney went into the bathroom. I crossed the living room and went over to the couch to slump down into it with a deep sigh, laying my head back and staring at the ceiling. I hated feeling like this and Sydney deserved better. I just sat there unable to move, feeling numb and hopeless.

  "That's enough." I looked toward the hallway to find Sydney standing there with her hands on her hips and a stern expression on her face.

  "What are you...?" I started to ask, but she interrupted me.

  "So you had a bad moment, and it sucked," she said as she paced toward me. "That doesn't mean you have to sit around feeling sorry for yourself afterward."

  "I'm not..."

  "Bullshit," she continued, her tone eerily similar to Lauren's earlier, and I snapped my mouth shut. She stopped directly in front of me and stared down at me. This was a side of Sydney that I had never seen before, and it was kind of scary. I wanted to shrink away from her. "Lucky for you, I know just the way to pull your sorry ass out of this 'woe is me' bullshit." She knelt down on the floor between my feet, still pinning me in place with her fierce gaze. Her hands glided up the outside of my thighs.

  "What are you doing?" I asked as her hands skimmed across the front of my jeans.

  "Shush," she said as she started unbuttoning my jeans, her gray eyes glittering with passion now. "Don't talk anymore. Just feel."

  I nodded helplessly as she lowered the zipper, my breath stuttering in my chest. She reached into my boxers and gently pulled my cock out, watching it with fascination as it hardened and lengthened for her. She began pumping it in her fist slowly, and I groaned at the sensation, my eyes riveted on her hand.

  "Does that feel good, baby?" she asked me and my eyes moved up to stare at her mouth.

  "Yes," I whispered breathlessly, my heart starting to feel like it might beat out of my chest.

  "Look at me," she commanded, and I complied, her eyes trapping mine again as she leaned forward. I could feel her breath on my cock as she stopped just short of her lips touching it. I waited for her lips to touch me, my breath panting past my open mouth. She licked her lips and I moaned wit
h need, my hips thrusting up to her against my will. I lifted my hands to hurry things along, but she stopped me with a glare. "Keep your hands on the couch."

  I nodded and put my hands back down onto the couch cushion. I clenched them into fists, fighting the urge to disobey her. She flicked the tip of her tongue across the head of my cock, and I clamped my teeth together, my breath hissing in and out between them, the warm wetness turning cold as she breathed on it.

  "Please, oh fuck, please..." I whispered to her, shameless with my need for her mouth on me.

  "Please what?" she asked with a devilish grin as her hand pumped me again.

  "Suck it. Suck my cock now," I growled at her, my nails digging into my palms.

  She just stared at me, ignoring my demand, her eyes expectant and controlled. I met her gaze and realized I wasn't going to win this battle of wills, and that I really didn't want to anyway.

  "Please, Sydney," I capitulated. "Please suck my cock."

  "Good boy," she whispered with a smirk and then took me into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the head. I gasped and bucked my hips up to her, the warmth and wetness of her mouth feeling so amazing that I thought I might come now. She took more of me into her mouth, her tongue moving in circles on the shaft as she started moving her mouth up and down. It felt so good, and I moaned her name as my head fell back onto the couch, my eyes rolling up into my head. Suddenly, she deep-throated me all the way down to the base.

  "Fuck!" I groaned with a gasp as my head popped up off the back of the couch. I stared down to see Sydney looking up at me with fiery gray eyes, the sight of my entire cock in her mouth so fucking hot. She pulled her mouth off of me and started pumping her fist from base to tip, her hand sliding effortlessly up and down, squeezing as her fingers reached the tip.

  "More?" she asked with hooded eyes and a knowing smile.