I wish Ryan hadn’t sent the pictures that painted her attack so vividly. I will never get them out of my head. She was so broken and bruised. The report even lists all the bones that had been broken; it takes up an entire page. She wasn’t lying when she said she was recovering. She must have scars too, although I didn’t see any. The animal took a knife to her—my stomach rolls again at the thought.
I am sitting in my office in the corner chair with a glass of scotch perched on the end table, having just put the kids to bed. The bookcases have been filled with law books, but the rest of the room is still in disarray. There are fewer boxes in this room. I just haven’t had the time to put anything away.
I put my head in my hands, pulling at my hair. Molly thinks I should hire her. She is probably right. I’ve gone strictly by paper for the last three nannies and look at how they worked out. Something in my gut is telling me to hire Lanie, that she is the one even though her resume may be lacking.
The one for our nanny or the one for me? The nagging voice in my head keeps repeating. I’ve got to get that little voice out of my head.
I text the guys and ask them to come over. It’ll be about an hour before they arrive, so I stand up and head to my room for a quick shower. They’ll know what to do.
Preston arrives first. If I were ever to use the word suave, that would be how I would describe him. “Are you living at the gym these days, Pres? If you’re not careful, you’re going to end up looking like one of those Jersey Shore meatheads.” I notice as he walks through my house that he is really starting to bulk up.
“Jealous, buddy? I can get you out of that Dad-bod in no time,” Preston teases. He is full of shit. All four of us are in excellent shape, it’s like an unspoken competition. I can imagine the four of us entering any establishment would look intimidating. Loki arrives shortly after him.
“Why didn’t you guys drive together? You live in the same damn building?” I ask.
“Pretty boy over there was taking too long,” Preston says, pointing to Loki.
Loki is in his normal state, his hair slightly mussed, the five-o’clock shadow on prominent display. His clothing consists entirely of cargo pants and t-shirts.
He scowls, “Fuck off, I was working, and I left five minutes after you. You could have waited for me, dickhead.”
“Ok, true, but I might have a date later,” Preston says through a lop-sided grin.
“By date, you mean late-night hook-up.” Loki points out.
“I don’t miss those nights,” I tell him. They never held the same appeal to me. I have even less desire for them now.
“Maybe that’s your issue, dude. You need to get laid.” Pres is our resident man-whore these days. Loki rolls his eyes and goes to the fridge for a beer as Trevor walks in.
“What the hell, Trev?” Preston greets him, “You’re the richest son of a bitch and you look homeless.”
Leave it to Preston to call people out.
Trevor has a trust fund but has never touched it. The other guys don’t know the shit his father has done. I can understand why he doesn’t touch the money. He feels it's tainted. At the same time, he doesn’t need to live like a pauper. His tech company is about to take off, I can feel it. He is the smartest out of the four of us, and it’s only a matter of time.
“Fuck off, Pres. I’m not in the mood. What’s up, Dex? It’s been a long time since you’ve sent an S.O.S. you ok?” Trevor asks.
He always sees through my bullshit.
“What S.O.S.? I just got a text saying beers at his house!” I love Preston like a brother, but he is an entitled asshole with his head in the clouds sometimes.
Loki hands us all beers and we head into the family room. I’ve been able to get through a few boxes, but it’s still a shit show. Maybe I should have hired unpackers too, I think. But then I have to admit to myself that that was never an option. I just couldn’t bring myself to spend money like that yet.
Trevor glances around and shakes his head. He has a long gulp of his beer before setting it down on the only empty table in the room and opens a box. “If you called us here to unpack for you, I’m going to be pissed,” Preston says, annoyed.
Loki shoves him, “Fuck off, Preston. He didn’t call us here to help unpack, but since we are here, the least we can do is help.”
“He has three small kids, so stop being a prick and get off your ass to help.” Trevor insists as well.
We have all been friends for years. Trevor and I met Preston and Loki in middle school, but it’s Trevor that I’ve always counted on. Trevor is Tate’s Godfather; he was also the first one there the night Anna left. He turns to me and frowns, “Dex, what’s up? The last S.O.S. was when Bitchzilla left.”
I can’t help but smile. “Just how long have you called Anna, Bitchzilla? I know the name started well before she left.”
“Dude, you know she always hated us.” Loki shrugs. “We may have first called her Bitchzilla after senior prom when she wouldn’t ride home in the limo with us.” He is right, Anna never liked these guys, and I wasn’t willing to give them up.
“Dexter. Honest to God. Why do those assholes have to come over here every Friday night?”
“Anna,” I say, walking around the table I’m setting up for poker to hug her “It’s once a month, we all take turns.”
“Ugh, I just figured once we got married, you’d get more mature friends.” She says, rolling her eyes.
“Don’t start, Anna, please. I’m not sure why you have always disliked them so much, but they are my best friends. They aren’t going anywhere. I don’t expect you to spend all your time with them, but you do need to treat them with the same level of respect I show your friends.”
“Whatever, Dexter. Just make sure they are out of here by midnight. And if I find beer all over the counter again, I’ll make sure they never want to be here again.”
Trevor nudges me out of the memory. I let out a long sigh. Again, with the sighing. I want to roll my eyes at myself but answer him instead. “Nanny number three bit the dust...two and a half weeks ago.” I cringe because I know they are about to rain down on me. However, when I look up, I just see hurt faces.
Preston is the first to speak. “What? Why didn’t you call us, man? We know what you have going on with the company. We would have been here in shifts to help out. We love those kids more than we love you,” he gives me a wicked smile and continues somberly. “We would have been here.”
“Better be careful there, Pres, or we might start to think the asshole persona is all an act,” I tell him, but I feel like a prick again; it is becoming a familiar feeling for me. I hang my head and answer. “I know, I’m sorry. I just felt like an asshole. This is my family! I should be able to handle this shit.” I dare a glance around the room and see all their disappointed faces. Fuck.
Loki clears his throat. “Listen, man, we love you, but your family is our family too. We are in this with you. You have to understand you’re not on your own. Let us help. Have you interviewed new nannies yet? Fuck, dude, you have to be in London in what, ten days?”
“Yeah, and I did interview a woman.” I can’t help the grin that threatens my face. I raise my head to see my three best friends exchanging worried expressions. “What? I see you all. What’s with the look?”
This time, it's Trevor to sit next to me. “You like her.”
“What? I don’t know her. The interview was the biggest clusterfuck of my life. She swooped in here, took Harper from my arms, and got her to stop crying immediately, might I add. Then, she essentially told me to shut up while she got my kids settled. Then and only then would she let me know when we could carry on with the interview.”
They all bust up laughing until I add, “She got Tate to speak,” I let my head hang again. The shame I feel over Tate’s pain is unbearable.
Trevor jumps up, and the sudden movement startles me out of my pity party for one, “What?”
“What do you mean what?” asks Preston. “She got h
im to speak!”
“Yeah, it wasn’t like he opened up or anything. It was just a couple of words here and there. He liked helping her find stuff to get the girls settled. When she gave me shit, he burst out laughing,” I smile, remembering my shock.
“So, where is she, why haven’t you hired her?” Loki demands.
“She has some issues,” I’m quiet for a minute. I don’t feel right telling her story. I feel like that would be betraying her. “She…” I pause, “this is just between us because I found out through Ryan." I give them all a pointed glare. "She was attacked. Severely, about a year and a half ago.” I break off debating whether I want to admit the rest. I should have known Trevor would catch on right away.
Loki asks, “You seem pretty confident in her abilities to care for the kids, what’s holding you back?”
“I am. She was truly great with them.” I look up at Trevor, who is now pacing as he starts to speak again.
“Then what aren’t you telling us? Do you think she has issues from her attack that would make her unable to care for the kids?” Trevor asks gently.
“What? No, I meant it when I said I think she would take good care of them. When I yelled at her the first time, she jumped in between the girls like she was protecting them from me. She moved before she even realized what she was doing.” I look up to see them all exchanging expressions of concern.
Shit. Here it comes.
“What do you mean the first time you yelled at her?” asks Loki.
I see the confusion in Trevor’s face. He knows me better than anyone. I don’t have emotional outbursts, ever.
“Well, fuck.” I rest my head in my hands before I continue. “You have no idea how insane it was when she walked in here. It was like an out of body experience. My blood was boiling, and she was doing everything right with my kids. Even Molly was caught unawares. I told her not to put Harper down in her bouncy seat because she would just start screaming again. It was like she didn’t even hear me. She just walked right past me, put her fingers under my chin, closed my mouth, then bent down to buckle Harper into the seat anyway. When she reached over and grabbed Sara because she said she smelled like a sewer, I lost my mind.” I don’t have a chance to continue because I made the mistake of lifting my head, and all three assholes burst out laughing. “What the fuck? This isn’t funny.”
Preston, the asshole, composes himself first. “So, she’s hot?”
“Yes. What? Of course, she is—wait, no, I mean...” I stutter. Their laughter starts anew. I get up to get myself another beer. “You guys don’t understand, I don’t even know what I yelled. Before I caught myself, she had positioned herself in-between the girls and me. She looked like she was two seconds away from dropping my ass. I felt bad after, but when I got Ryan’s report, I felt even worse. She was attacked.” I swallow hard, remembering the pictures and continued, “She probably should have died. The entire time she didn’t make a sound because she was protecting a six-year-old boy. She was afraid if he heard her crying out, he would come out of his hiding spot and the animal would have killed him too.”
The admission sobers them up quickly. I knew Trevor’s past. His mom was often used as a punching bag by his father. He grows quiet, trying to keep his own demons at bay.
“I just don’t know what to do. I admit I’m attracted to her. I am really fucking attracted to her. I would have to be blind not to be, but I just don’t know if having her here is the right thing to do for any of us. At the same time, the agency doesn’t have many other options at this time of year, and I have to go to London. I feel like I can trust her, but going through something like that has to change a person.” I stare right at Trevor.
He knows I’m asking his opinion for the safety of my kids. He lets out a long sigh. “Look, man, you know about my mom. After everything she went through, she was still the best thing in my life. She would have done anything for me. What is your gut telling you about this girl?”
I don’t even hesitate, “It says to trust her.”
Loki sits down. “It seems like you have your answer.”
I put my head in my hands again. I haven’t felt this conflicted since the night I had to decide to take my father off life support. I shake my head and look up as Preston starts to speak.
“Listen, man, you know we are here for you. Hire her. Go to London and get your shit done. We will take turns coming by here every day to assess. If we feel like something isn’t right, we will stay here and call you right away. Your instincts are rarely wrong. If you think you can trust her, you probably can. And it won’t be a hardship if she's as hot as you say she is.” Preston gives me a shit-eating grin and I can’t help the growl that escapes my throat.
I point to each of them. “Keep your fucking paws off of her, I mean it. All of you.”
Preston leans back in his chair, laughing. “This is going to be a fun ride, fellas. A really fucking fun ride.”
“Leave it to Pres to turn hiring a nanny into something perverted,” Loki laughs.
I don’t suppress my chuckle. With these guys, there is no pretending.
“So, you all set?” Trevor asks.
Preston nods, “You’re going to hire her, right?”
Loki asks next, “What’s her name anyway?”
I sit back on the couch and smile. “Lanie. Her name is Lanie Heart, and yes, I’ll call her tomorrow.” We spend the rest of the night unpacking and breaking down box after box.
Lanie
Chapter 7
I’m washing the dishes looking out over the sea. Mimi designed this house so you could appreciate the ocean wherever you are. I have a hard time focusing when there is a view like this.
I finish up my last glass and call Julia. “Hi, Jules,”
“Hey, lady, what’s cooking?” I love this girl, only Julia would ask ‘what’s cooking’.
“My body. It's hot as hell here, and it's only March. Maybe North Carolina wasn’t such a great idea after all. My Irish skin isn’t cut out for this.” I tell her while fanning my face and making my way out to the deck for some ocean breeze.
Jules just laughs. “I saw online it is unseasonably hot there right now, even on the coast.”
Loving the sense of calm I get hearing her voice, I say, “God, I miss your Irish face.”
“I miss your Irish face too. Any word on the job yet?” she asks.
I sigh. It’s been four days and nothing. “No, Mr. Dexter Cross said he would be in touch soon, but it’s been four days. I take that as a sign I didn’t get it. I need to come up with a plan B. I’m going to run out of money sooner rather than later.”
“I can give you money, Lanes, I’ve told you this.”
“And I’ve told you, thank you, but I cannot take your money. I’ll figure it out, I always do.” I insist.
Julia answers quietly, “I know you do.”
“How are you and Char…” my phone beeps, cutting me off.
Mr. Dexter Cross is calling.
“Ship, Jules, I have to go, he’s calling,” I say quickly.
“Okay, Lanes, call me later. Luvs.”
“Luvs to you too,” I say as my finger slips a millisecond too soon.
The voice of Dexter Cross replaces Jules on the other end, confirming I had switched over to his call too soon. “Ah, Ms. Lanie Heart?”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I was talking to my best friend from home. I was telling her I loved her, too, but must have clicked over to you before I did. I mean, obviously, I don’t love you. That would be crazy. Not that you’re not loveable, but...ah, man. What is wrong with me?”
I hear his rumbling low laugh come through the phone. “Are you done, Ms. Lanie Heart?”
“Yes, Mr. Dexter Cross,” I can't help but push his buttons.
“Just Dex,” he laments.
“Okay, just Dex. Yes, I’m shutting up now,” I respond, unable to keep the embarrassment from my voice.
He laughs again. “Excellent, I’d like to offer you the j
ob. However, there is a lot to talk about, and I’m sort of in a time crunch here. My friends are coming over this afternoon to help with the kids. I was hoping you could come back so we could talk about the details.”
“Ah, today?” I stammer.
“Yes, Lanie, today,” he replies authoritatively.
“Okay, Dex. It’ll take me a while to get there,” I tell him.
“That’s fine. Just text me when you leave so I know when to expect you. Drive safely,” his sultry voice demands.
“I will. See you soon. Oh, Dex?” I challenge.
Dexter Cross responds with humor lacing his tone, “Yes, Lanie?”
“Thank you,” I reply, sincerely.
There is a pause before he finally responds, “See you soon, Lanie.”
He hangs up before I can say goodbye, but I have a feeling he is smiling just as big as I am right now. Shit, I have to get the house cleaned and hit the road. Almost an hour later, I’m in my car and on my way back to Waverley-Cay. All feels right for once.
“Hey, Jules, it’s me. I don’t need anything. I was just calling to tell you I’m about ten minutes away from Dexter’s house. I’m more nervous now than I was a few days ago. Maybe it’s because I know how hot he is now?” No, do not think of him as hot. He is my boss, that’s it. “Anyway, I’m rambling. I just wanted to let you know I’m alright. I’ll call again when I’m settled. Give Charlie and your parents hugs and kisses for me. Luvs.”
I pull up to the house once again in shock. This house is so freaking big. How does Tate not get lost in here? There are a lot more cars in the driveway today as well. Expensive cars. Geez, that’s not intimidating at all.
Putting my ten-year-old Toyota Corolla in park, I sit looking around for a few minutes. Is this going to be my life? Living among the rich? I peer down at my shorts and t-shirt. I know I am going to stick out like a sore thumb, but it is what it is. I let out a big sigh and open my car door.
Cross My Heart: A Waverley-Cay Novel Page 5
