Here goes nothing.
Dex
Chapter 8
“Hey, Dex?”
“What, Pres? I’m elbows deep in diapers right now.” I say, annoyance clearly in my voice.
“Ah, I think your hot-as-fuck nanny is here.” Preston’s tone is strained.
I hear Trevor and Loki run to the window. Shit, maybe having them here was a mistake.
“Holy hell,” whispers Loki.
Looking up, I say, “What? Guys, I’m serious, if you make her feel uncomfortable, I will rip your balls right off.”
Loki chokes on a laugh but gives me a stern look. “She isn’t just pretty, Dex. I think you might be in trouble.”
All three guys laugh as the doorbell rings. I let out a groan as they trip over each other, trying to get to the door first.
“Do not f-this up for me, guys, I mean it.” I glance down at Sara as I finish changing her diaper. “And keep your eyes and your hands off my god damn girl,” Fuck. Three sets of eyes whip towards me. I’ve never been a jealous guy, but I’ve never had reactions like this either.
Preston laughs, “Hell yeah, this is going to be good. I’ll get the beer and popcorn.”
“Just answer the freaking door, please,” I say drained.
“You’re getting really good at catching your cursing,” Trevor says.
The guys laugh again and head to the front. I take a few minutes to pull myself together. I look down and see I’m still in gym shorts, but at least they’re clean. I lift my arm and smell my pits. Ugh, it could be worse, I guess. I hear the guys vying for Lanie’s attention, and I roll my eyes. Then I listen to her laugh. God, that laugh, I am in fucking trouble.
Lanie comes walking around the corner, the guys right behind her with puppy dog eyes. They are such assholes. I groan. She walks into the room and looks around. “Hey,” she says with a wave. “It almost looks like a home in here…you’ve been busy!” She says, smiling.
Oh hell, I’m a goner. I look from her to the guys and back to her. They are all standing behind her, appearing a little shell shocked. I meet Trevor’s eyes and he starts laughing.
“She is a ball buster, Dex. She called Pres out on his shit before she got both feet in the door.” Trevor is laughing so hard he has tears rolling down his face. Great, they are going to be absolutely no help.
I narrow my eyes at Pres though and growl, I actually fucking growl. “I told you to cut the shit.”
“Relax, Dex. It was all in good fun,” he says through his laughter.
I try, really, I do, but I guess I’m as awestruck in Lanie Heart’s presence as my goofball friends. Lanie walks over to me and closes my mouth again. "Are you planning to piss me off every single day?" I ask her when she is done.
"Am I?" She asks, stepping back. “Ticking you off, I mean?”
"I don't know how to feel about you, Lanie Heart. All my other employees are scared of me." Maybe this is going to be a mistake.
She steps forward again. “It's hard to be afraid of pretend monsters when you've dealt with the real thing your whole life."
I don’t have an answer to that. I catch the shocked expressions of the guys in the background. Good, now they know what I’m dealing with here. Trying to gain the upper hand, since this is my house, I scowl at Lanie, trying to get my thoughts in order.
Lanie smiles. “Oh, goody. I wasn’t sure I was in the right residence, but with your constant scowl back in place, I feel right at home.” She walks past me to the girls and picks not one but both of them up and walks to the kitchen. Then she calls over her shoulder, “Hey, guys, make yourselves useful and go grab Tate for me.”
All three of my friends look from her to me and back again, then as if pulled by a little string she attached to them earlier, they all shrug their shoulders and go off in search of my son.
What have I done?
I walk into the kitchen just in time to find Lanie buckling Harper into her highchair. “Lanie, what are you doing?" I say with a heavy sigh while pinching the bridge of my nose. I already feel a headache coming on and she hasn’t been here for five minutes. "I haven’t actually hired you yet. There’s paperwork, and we need to talk about salary. I also have to go to London soon. We’ll need to go over schedules.”
She puts her hand on her hip, “I know, and we will, but I just spent five minutes with your friends, and while they seem nice, I don’t foresee any of them knowing what or how to feed a baby dinner. Am I wrong?”
I shake my head, knowing she is right. “No, you’re right. It took longer than I was anticipating for you to arrive. The kids will melt down soon if they don’t eat.” She smiles and, god, how I don’t want the reaction it causes in me. I scowl in return.
“I know I am,” she beams. “Now, do you have a dinner plan, or are we winging it?”
“The girls have some of those mashed up meals in the pantry. I was going to order pizza for everyone else.” She scrunches up her nose. I think she does that a lot, and it is fucking cute as hell. “What now, Lanie?” Exasperation laces my voice.
“Oh, nothing really. We can talk about meals later, but from now on, plan on me making the kids food. No more of this packaged crap.” She must notice the irritation on my face. “Listen, I love myself some Kraft mac and cheese as much as the next girl, but we don’t want them growing up only having taste buds for processed stuff.”
I want to be mad. She is basically shitting all over my parenting again, except, I know she is right. I scowl anyway to let her know just who the boss is around here, although my mouth doesn’t connect to my brain. “You said crap,” I say, smiling.
What the fuck. That’s not...I wanted to tell her my way is just fine. I glower and look away.
“Listen, Mr. Dexter Cross,” she says with that sassy lilt to her voice. “I know you are trying hard not to like me, but I might as well tell you now, most people who try, fail.”
I start to stalk toward Lanie Heart and watch her fold in on herself. Fuck, I don’t want to scare her. My anger rises from my gut, but it's aimed at her attacker, not her. I try to squash it down so I don’t frighten her more. I take a step back and lean against the counter instead, crossing my arms.
“Well, Ms. Lanie Heart, I’m not most people.”
Her eyes drift down my body and snap back to my eyes. “No, Dex, you’re not. You’re definitely not.”
She turns and puts all her attention on the girls for the next thirty minutes while I stand off to the side and watch. What the hell was that look? Did she mean to do it? She is a complete mind-fuck. Maybe it’s good that I'm going to London for a while, she can get settled in and I can cool off. Get my head on straight.
The rest of the night goes smoothly. The guys are on their best behavior, for the most part. Tate sat next to Lanie at dinner. I didn’t notice him talking, but he was smiling at her, that’s progress. Maybe she is right…I should speak to him about his mom.
Anna is a total bitch, but she was always a good mom, wasn’t she? A good mom wouldn’t just walk away from her kids, the asshat voice in my head chimes in.
Fuck. If she said something to Tate, I would rip her limb from limb. I’m going to have to come up with a plan for figuring this out when I get back from London.
Lanie takes the girls upstairs, asking Tate to show her their rooms. As I watch Tate climb the stairs, a memory I’ve tried to forget appears unbidden.
“Dexter, go upstairs and get ready for bed. Daddy will be home soon to tuck you in.”
“What about you, mama, are you going to tuck me in too?”
“Not today, Dex. Mama’s got somewhere to be, but Daddy will take care of you.”
I walk up the stairs looking back every couple of steps. Somehow, I knew that would be the last time I would ever see my mother.
Hearing the guys give each other shit, I look up and realize how late it is. "The kids will be in bed soon, guys, so Lanie and I can work everything out then."
They ended up getting it together enough
to help unpack some more boxes. Although that didn’t stop them from giving me the side-eye on their way out.
As he is walking through the door, Trevor pulls me in for a hug. Stepping back, he gives me some advice. “Just let things play out. She seems like a trustworthy person. I think your instincts are right about her, but we will still check in every day you are gone.”
“Thanks, man. I think she will be good too. Maybe I just needed you guys to back me up. Single parenting is fucking hard.” I say like we don’t both know the truth of that statement first hand.
He gives me a sad smile. I know we are both thinking about our single parents as he claps me on the back on his way out. “You’re one of the good ones, you know that, right?”
“One of the good ones?” I ask.
“Yeah, one of the good ones. A good man and a hell of a good dad. Things will get easier, and we are always here. Don’t be a pecker next time, though. If Lanie goes running for the hills, call us immediately,” he says, punching me in the arm.
“I will, thanks,” I reply and mean it.
Trevor says, “I don’t think she’ll be running away, though.”
I smile at him because I don’t think she will either. Shutting the door, I hear water running, so I head for the stairs. I pass Tate’s room first and notice his light on, so I step in.
“Hey, King Tate, how’s it going?” I ask, walking into his room.
He shrugs his shoulders and my heart cracks a little more. I miss his voice.
“What do you think of Lanie?” Talking with him lately is more of a one-sided conversation.
He looks up at me and smiles.
“You like her?” I keep talking.
He nods twice.
“Tate?” I question until he lifts his eyes to me. “I love you more than anything. You know that, right?”
He just stares at me.
“I will always be here for you. Always. When I have to go on these work trips, I will always, always come back.” I’m thinking of the London trip. Fucking hell.
He nods his head again, signaling he knows, while I pick him up in a hug.
“Listen, buddy. Remember how I have to go on a work trip next week? I’m going to be away for almost two weeks, but I promise I will call you every day, okay?”
His eyes glisten but he doesn’t speak.
I didn’t think my heart could hurt anymore. “I promise I will come back. I’ll always come back.” I peel away from him and look down to sad eyes. “Tate, I promise.”
He nods his head again, and I feel a tear fall down my face.
How could she do this to him? How could she do this to us? I hate Anna with a new passion today.
“Lanie is going to be here with you while I’m away. Uncle Trevor, Loki, and even Preston are going to stop in every day to check on you. If something’s not right, you tell them right away. They will stay with you guys and I’ll be on the next flight home.” I pause, pulling him in for another hug. “I hate that I have to leave, but it’s important for work. I’ll come home early if I can. Okay? Please let me know you’ll be alright with Lanie?”
In a whisper so soft I’m not one hundred percent sure I haven’t made it up, he says, “I like Lanie, Dad, we will be okay.”
I study him and know he said it, but the knot in my throat is too big to swallow down. I nod my head to him and squeeze him a little tighter.
Smiling, I kiss him. “Get your jammies on and climb into bed. You can read for a little bit while I go check on Lanie and the girls, alright?”
He nods his head and turns to his bathroom to change.
Maybe Lanie is going to be a good thing, after all. I leave Tate’s room and head toward the sound of water splashing.
I find Lanie kneeling over the bathtub in the nursery and lose my breath. Her shorts are short. Really short, and riding up towards her ass as she leans over Sara to wash her hair. Harper splashes and kicks her feet, so Lanie jumps back, landing right against my chest. Her scent is calming, like lilacs and baby powder.
She whips around with her hand to her chest. I scared her because she is in a defensive stance between the girls and me. It makes me both ridiculously happy and extremely sad at the same time. I have no doubt Lanie will protect and help piece together my little family.
Maybe I can find a way for us to protect and heal her too.
“Shiplap,” she finally says, making me chuckle.
I take a step back with my hands raised. “What are you doing, Lanie?”
“Ah, the girls needed baths?” She says as though that should be the most obvious thing in the world. “They were completely orange from the canned pasta.”
I look her up and down. I cannot figure this girl out and fuck if I know why I want to so badly. “The girls have splashed you a lot,” I say. Her shirt is slightly see-through now, allowing me to see the lace outline of her bra.
Fuck me. I spin around. “I’ll grab you a new shirt.”
When I come back, she has both girls dry and dressed, lying on the bed with their sippy cups.
"How the hell did you do that so fast? It takes me at least forty minutes to get them both dressed." I admit, handing her the shirt.
I can tell I’ve embarrassed her. The flush across her cheeks is an easy tell.
"I've been helping my friend, Julia, with her son, Charlie, since he was a baby. Just lots of practice, I guess,” she says, making minimal eye contact.
I smile. I can't help it around her.
“I can take it from here, why don’t you go get changed? I know you weren’t planning on starting tonight, but I do have a lot I need to go over with you. Do you mind waiting downstairs so we can go over the details?” I ask, enjoying the way her skin has flushed a deep pink.
“Sure. I’ll see you down there.” She tells me, leaning in and kissing both girls on the cheek.
They giggle and love her back with open-mouthed wet kisses. Have the other nannies done this with them? Maybe that is why they are so comfortable with Lanie. She gives affection freely.
Lanie gets up with my t-shirt covering her front and heads out the door. Watching her walk out of the room, I can’t help but compare her to Anna. I know the girls never had a connection with Anna. She made sure of that. Why don’t I ever remember Anna cuddling or kissing Tate? Surely, she did…right?
I snuggle with the girls for a few minutes and put them both in their cribs. Heading back to Tate’s room, I find Lanie on the bed with him singing a song and rubbing his hair. That darkness in my heart opens a little more. I don’t know what to make of it.
Where did this woman come from? She finishes her song and looks down at Tate. He has fallen asleep in her lap and she leans down and kisses him on the cheek too. She whispers something I can’t quite make out as I watch. Tate smiles in his sleep, and it even appears as if he mumbles something, although I can’t be sure with the angle of his face.
Lanie pats his head again and scans around the room, taking everything in. When she spots me in the doorway, she gives me a bashful little shrug.
I shake my head, making my way over, then lean down to whisper, “I’m going to lift him off your lap so you can slide out.”
She nods her head but gasps as my hands come in contact with her thigh and stomach.
Now it’s my turn to shrug. “Sorry, I can’t get him otherwise,” I whisper.
She nods her head. As I slide him off of her, she shimmies to the end of the bed and climbs out.
I lean over Tate and kiss him on the head. “I love you, buddy.”
I turn and guide Lanie out of the room with my hand on the small of her back. I don’t want to acknowledge how right this feels. I’ve got to stay focused. She is excellent with the kids. I cannot do anything to mess that up. I scold myself as I follow Lanie downstairs.
“Why don’t you meet me in the kitchen? I just have to run to my office to grab your folder,” I say, loving how she looks in my home. Lanie doesn’t speak but heads off in the direction I sent her.
When I return, I find her sitting at the table with her bare feet tucked up under her. She has my old law school t-shirt on and damn if it doesn’t make me want to think dirty thoughts—focus, asshole.
“Ah, hey. Thank you for today.” I say, running a hand through my mop of hair. “I know you were only expecting to be here for an hour or so. I hope we didn’t ruin any plans you had?”
“No. I’m just going to head to a hotel when I leave here, so it’s no big deal. Plus, if you have to go on a trip soon, it’s better that I spend a lot of time with the kids before you leave to learn their routines,” she says with a small yawn.
What she says makes sense, but I can feel the frown on my face, “You’re going to a hotel?” I know I sound bitter, but it is late for her to be traipsing around town, even if this is Waverley-Cay.
“Well, yeah, it's late. It was a long drive here. Corolla will take too long to get to tonight and I’m not ready to head back to Vermont yet,” Lanie defends herself, not understanding my tone.
I’m with you there, sweetheart. I don’t understand a damn thing about today.
I let out a long breath. “Lanie, I want to offer you this position. Let’s go over this stuff. If we can agree to all the terms, you can just stay here tonight. Will you need to get your stuff from Vermont?”
“Are you sure?” She asks, surprised. “And no, I don’t have a ton of stuff. Everything I’ll need is in my car already.”
I don’t know why the thought of all her belongings fitting into her small sedan bothers me so much, but it does.
I school my features and continue, “You’re going to be living in my house if you take this job. You might as well stay tonight and save money on the hotel.”
“Yeah, sure.” She bites her lip, still a little unsure.
I find myself staring a beat too long at her mouth, so I clear my throat and look away.
Cross My Heart: A Waverley-Cay Novel Page 6
