A Very Special Child

by Jennifer Taylor

  ‘Do you take sugar in your coffee?’ he explained like a perfect host, but the twinkle in his eyes told her that he had a very good idea what was wrong with her!

  ‘No…Yes…I mean, I do if it’s proper coffee but not if it’s instant,’ she babbled, inwardly wincing as she saw his brows rise.

  ‘Really? You must explain the logic behind that. But seeing as it is proper coffee then I think that’s a yes.’ He gave her a gentle push. ‘Make yourself comfortable. It won’t take long.’

  On leaden legs, Laura walked into the room as he disappeared towards the kitchen. One part of her mind—the rational bit—was crying out that this was a mistake, while the other part—the flighty bit—was telling her not to listen.

  After all, what harm could there be in them having a cup of coffee together? the beguiling little voice insisted, taking advantage of her weakened state to get its point across. She was no closer to resolving the dilemma when Mark reappeared, carefully balancing two brimming cups on what looked suspiciously like a biscuit-tin lid.

  ‘I couldn’t find a tray,’ he explained, setting the cups on the table in front of the sofa. ‘That’s the trouble with being in someone else’s house—you don’t like rooting around to find things.’

  ‘No.’ Laura took a quick breath then bent to pick up one of the cups, jumping as Mark’s hand shot out to cover hers.

  ‘It’s scalding hot so I’d let it cool down for a minute or two,’ he advised. He let her go and sat on the sofa, patting the cushion beside him. ‘Come on, sit yourself down. There’s nothing else you can do at present. Claire will be fine.’

  If only it was concern for her friend that was troubling her, Laura thought desperately. Sitting next to Mark came into the category of Big Mistake, but she couldn’t for the life of her think of a way to avoid it apart from making a fuss, which would only make matters worse!

  She took her seat, prudently leaving as much space as possible between them, which wasn’t nearly enough to ensure against a further assault on her vulnerable senses.

  She bit her lip as tautly honed muscles rippled beneath his grey chambray shirt as Mark reached for his cup. He took a sip of coffee and she stifled a moan as she watched his throat work as he swallowed. How could something so…so normal as drinking be so sexy?

  She made a grab for her own cup then flushed with embarrassment as coffee slopped over the side. ‘How stupid of me!’

  Putting the cup back on its saucer, she licked the drops of coffee off her fingers then stilled as she happened to glimpse the expression on Mark’s face. To describe it as lustful didn’t do it justice because there was such a mixture of emotions there at that moment that it was impossible to separate one from another. However, it was only when he suddenly got up that she realised she’d been staring at him.

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  The harsh grating of his voice ran through her like a shock wave. In contrast, her own voice sounded almost too weak to carry to where he stood staring into the fire.

  ‘What for?’

  ‘Because I’m going to commit a cardinal sin and I’m afraid you’ll hate me for it.’

  He turned and her pulse began to race when she saw the desire in his eyes as he reached for her hands and drew her to her feet. There was a note of agony in his voice as he bent towards her but it couldn’t disguise the hunger she heard in it as well.

  ‘I know you don’t want what I do, Laura, but I need this!’

  His mouth suddenly found hers and the rest of the sentence was swallowed up in the blaze of passion that ignited between them. Laura was stunned by how quickly she went from bewilderment to desire in one great leap. There was that first gentle touch of Mark’s mouth on hers and then a fierce surge of passion which swept them both away. Suddenly she couldn’t seem to get enough of him, couldn’t absorb sufficient sustenance from the gentle blending of lips.

  She gave a low moan as she wound her arms around his neck and drew his head down so that he would deepen the kiss, heard the groan he gave as he realised what she wanted. Hearing it set loose the last of her inhibitions. She made no attempt to stifle the desire that surged through her as his tongue met hers in a ritual as old as time.

  They were both trembling when finally they broke apart, Mark as well as her, both wrung out by the ferocity of the passion they’d shared. Mark lifted her face and she could see the glimmer of tears in his eyes as he looked at her as though she were the most precious thing in the world.

  ‘I never imagined it could feel like this, Laura.’

  She didn’t ask him what he meant, what it was, because she knew. She didn’t ask because then she would have to deal with the answer and she couldn’t do that—not here, not now. Maybe it was cowardly, but she simply couldn’t cope with the repercussions it would cause if Mark said the words, told her that he loved her. It was enough to know it in the secret depths of her heart.

  When he kissed her again it was with a tenderness that brought tears to her own eyes. Maybe Mark wouldn’t say the words because he knew that she wasn’t ready to hear them, but he was telling her in his own sweet way how he felt. She would have needed a heart of stone not to have felt something in return, although she shied away from discovering what it was. She wasn’t ready to do that just yet either.

  ‘Laura…Laura!’ His tone was as rough as sandpaper, as dark as a dream as he said her name over and over as though he loved the very sound of it.

  Laura murmured in response, soft little sounds that weren’t really words at all but which somehow managed to convey their own special kind of sense. When he drew her closer she returned the compliment, wrapping her arms tightly around his trim waist, letting their hips come into even closer contact so that she could feel his hunger for her. Feeling it awoke an answering hunger inside her, a need that yearned to be satisfied. It had been so long since a man had held her, loved her, made her feel the magic only two people could create.

  When Mark’s hands went to the hem of her sweater and slid beneath it she didn’t stop him. Why should she when she wanted what was happening as much as he did?

  Slowly, delicately, his fingers ran over the warm skin over her ribs, making her tremble with anticipation as they moved ever closer to their goal. Laura knew that she was holding her breath but Mark was holding his as well so it didn’t seem to matter. Both of them seemed to be held in thrall, drawing out the moment when his hands would find her breasts and caress them for the very first time, so that the waiting seemed even sweeter.

  There was just another inch to go, then half an inch, then a distance too small to measure. His hands were just cupping her delicately, reverently, when the telephone rang. The shrill sound was an ugly intrusion which made them both jump.

  Mark stared at her, his eyes faintly glazed, his breathing rapid and shallow. ‘I…I’d better get that.’

  ‘Yes.’ Her voice sounded whispery thin and she felt Mark tense. Lifting her chin, he stared into her eyes as though willing her to believe him.

  ‘What we did just now wasn’t wrong, Laura. You know that, don’t you?’

  ‘I…’ She closed her eyes, unable to agree or disagree, unable to give him the answer he needed or the one he didn’t want to hear. She didn’t know if what had happened had been right or wrong, that was the trouble!

  Had it been right to let Mark kiss her, to kiss him back, to long for more than that? Had it been wrong to forget she was a widow and remember that she was a woman? How could there be an answer to any of those questions without delving into the past? But that was something she was afraid to do. She wanted to put what had happened into a capsule, separate it from everything which had gone before or might come later. Then there would be no need to answer Mark or her own conscience!

  He swore softly, painfully, before he let her go and strode from the room. Laura heard the phone go quiet then the rumble of Mark’s voice as he spoke to the caller. She closed her eyes, feeling tears welling behind her lids. She might not have said anything but Mark obv
iously thought he knew what her answer was, and maybe it was for the best. Whatever he wanted from her, she couldn’t give it to him…for so many reasons.

  Mark was a very special man, too special for her to break his heart by making promises she couldn’t keep.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘THAT was Sean. Seems as though it was a false alarm after all. Niall Gillespie, the consultant, was in the maternity unit and he checked Claire over himself. He’s happy to let her come home.’

  Mark had come back to tell her what was happening. Laura quickly smoothed all expression from her face before she turned.

  ‘Well, if Niall says it’s OK then there’s definitely no need to worry.’ She summoned a smile, praying that he wouldn’t guess how much effort it cost her to act naturally.…

  Laura felt her stomach sink as it hit her how impossible that was going to be. How could they act naturally with each other after that kiss?

  She rushed on, not wanting to think about it. ‘I must say that I’m glad it was a false alarm. Although the baby is viable at thirty-four weeks, it’s not ideal for it to be born so early, is it?’

  ‘No. The longer Claire can hold on, the better,’ Mark agreed evenly, taking his cue from her. Obviously he’d sensed that she didn’t want to talk about what had happened because he made no reference to it as he checked his watch. ‘Anyway, you don’t need me here, so I’ll get off home now that I know everything is all right. Sean said to tell you that they should be back in about half an hour.’

  ‘Fine.’ She followed him out to the hall, waiting while he took his coat off a peg. He hunted his gloves out of his pocket, grimacing as he dropped one on the floor.

  ‘Here.’ Laura bent to pick it up, fixing a determined smile to her mouth as she handed it to him. ‘Now, don’t say thank you. It’s bad luck!’

  ‘I don’t believe in all that superstitious nonsense,’ he replied flatly. ‘I think we make our own luck, be it good or bad.’ He drew his gloves on then looked at her, and it was impossible not to see the sadness in his eyes. ‘We make our lives what they are by the decisions we take. You can’t blame it on luck or anything else.’

  She knew what he meant, of course, and her heart wept. Mark was telling her that it was up to her what the future held, that it was her decisions that would affect the rest of her life. Maybe she could have lived with that thought if she hadn’t known that any decision she made would affect him too.

  He opened the front door then stopped, a frown drawing his brows together. ‘You aren’t thinking of going back home tonight, I hope?’

  ‘I’m not sure…’ She sighed as she saw his expression darken. ‘I suppose I could stay here. Claire certainly won’t mind.’

  ‘Good. It’s far too late to be trekking off home at this time of the night, especially as I doubt if you’ve had a chance to get things properly sorted out yet. I can imagine the state the place is in after the electricians have been at work,’ he added wryly.

  ‘Mmm.’ She looked away but not fast enough to allay his suspicions.

  ‘You have had the wiring checked, haven’t you, Laura?’ His tone sharpened with concern. ‘You must realise how dangerous it is if water has got into the electrical circuit?’

  ‘Of course I do.’ She answered the last question because that was the easy one. And it wasn’t really lying, she assured herself, just fibbing by omission!

  He stared at her for a moment then shrugged. ‘Good. I wouldn’t have a moment’s peace, thinking about you in that house on your own with faulty electrics.’

  ‘There’s no need to worry,’ she assured him firmly because it was the truth. She hadn’t attempted to turn on a light since the pipe had burst so she’d been in no danger! However, she knew that Mark would take a very dim view of the fact that she’d been managing by gaslight for the past few days and cooking on a camping stove when he obviously believed that she’d had workmen in to put things to rights.

  If only! she thought ruefully. Although she had worked hard these past few days, the house was still a mess and would remain that way until she could save enough money to pay for the repairs. Still, it really wasn’t his problem so there was no need to tell him just how bad things were.

  ‘Right, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.’

  Mark gave her a last smile then carefully made his way up the ice-slick path. He paused by the gate to wave and for a moment he was silhouetted by the glow from one of the streetlights.

  Laura felt her heart give a funny kind of bump, like the jolt an engine gave when it was jump-started after breaking down. She took a deep breath and quickly closed the door as Mark headed down the road. Going to the kitchen, she set about washing the dishes, refusing to think about what had happened. She didn’t want to think about it because there was no point. She was Ian’s widow and she was luckier than a lot of women because she’d known what it was to be loved. Yet as she stacked the clean dishes in the rack her traitorous mind was whispering that it must be a very special feeling to be loved by a man like Mark Dawson.

  ‘I just want to check that dressing on your leg, Bethany. OK?’

  Laura drew the curtains around the girl’s bed then sighed as she turned round. Bethany had picked up her personal stereo and was in the process of putting on the headphones, making it clear that she had no intention of carrying on a conversation.

  Bethany had been in the ward for four days now and in all that time she’d refused to say anything more than the odd yes or no. Laura knew that if they were going to help her they had to find some way to break through the barrier she’d erected between herself and the world.

  ‘Who are you listening to?’ she asked as she began removing the dressings from Bethany’s leg. The wound was healing well, thanks to Tom Hartley’s skilled surgery, and everyone agreed that Bethany should have little difficulty when the time came for her to be fitted with a prosthesis. However, the girl’s attitude would be the determining factor as to how well she would cope with the artificial limb, and so far it hadn’t been encouraging.

  There was no reply, so Laura continued determinedly, refusing to be put off by her silence. ‘My little boy absolutely loves that new band that was on television last Saturday. I can’t remember what they’re called but I’m sure you must know who I mean. They sing that song about—’

  ‘The ship?’ Bethany shrugged nonchalantly when Laura glanced at her. ‘I saw them at a gig a couple of weeks ago.’

  ‘Did you? Why, you lucky thing!’ Laura felt her spirits lift. At long last she’d managed to break through the wall of silence. ‘Were they playing here in Dalverston?’

  ‘No, in Preston. Mum took me in the car.’ The teenager bit her lip and Laura could see tears in her eyes as she added in a choked voice, ‘She bought tickets for me and some of my friends as a birthday treat.’

  ‘That was a lovely idea. I bet you all enjoyed it. But, then, mums usually know the sort of presents their children like,’ Laura observed quietly, mentally crossing her fingers. Rachel had said that her niece hadn’t spoken about her mother since the accident so this was a real breakthrough.

  She chose her next words with care, knowing how important it was that the girl deal with her grief rather than bottling it up. ‘You must be very sad about what has happened, love. Losing your mum like that is hard, but everyone wants to help—’

  She broke off as the curtain was brusquely swished aside and Cathy appeared.

  ‘Haven’t you finished that yet, Laura?’ the staff nurse demanded rudely. ‘For heaven’s sake, get a move on. We couldn’t keep this ward running if we all worked at your speed!’

  Laura was furious both about the reprimand and the interruption, which couldn’t have come at a worse moment. However, it wouldn’t have been ethical to take the other woman to task with Bethany listening.

  ‘I won’t be long now,’ she said coldly, letting Cathy know by the tone of her voice how she felt.

  ‘Well, just make sure you’re not!’ Cathy twitched the curtains back
into place and disappeared.

  Laura counted to ten then carried on with what she’d been doing, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get Bethany to respond again. She left the girl reading a magazine, rueing the lost opportunity. It had been a real step forward to have Bethany talk about her mother like that. If only Cathy hadn’t interrupted they might have made some more progress.…

  ‘Good morning, Laura. How are you today?’

  She felt her heart jolt as she recognised Mark’s deep tones. She spun round, unable to hide her pleasure at seeing him. Despite the fact that she’d spent a restless night, trying not to think about what had happened between them, she couldn’t deny that her heart lifted as she saw him.

  In a fast sweep her eyes took appreciative stock of the crisp white shirt and deep blue tie he was wearing with well-pressed grey trousers. He rarely wore a suit when he came into the ward, preferring to present a more relaxed front when dealing with the children. However, the sight of his muscular body in the casually formal clothing was enough to make her pulse race. It was an effort to respond to the greeting with suitable composure.

  ‘I’m very well, thank you. How are you?’

  ‘Oh, so-so.’ He grinned as he saw her frown. He lowered his voice and she felt goose-bumps break out all over her body as he explained softly, ‘I had a bit of a restless night and didn’t get much sleep. I seemed to have rather a lot on my mind.’

  ‘Oh!’ It was impossible to control the heat that rushed up her face. It was almost a relief when Cathy came bustling over just then because she wasn’t sure that she could have thought of anything to say. It made her feel all shivery inside to imagine Mark lying awake, thinking about those kisses they’d shared.…

  ‘Come straight back after you’ve delivered Katie to the radiology unit. I want you to give Tim a bed-bath.’

  Laura dragged her thoughts back into line as she realised that Cathy was speaking to her. ‘Oh, but I promised Katie that I would stay with her while she has her scan,’ she said quickly. ‘She’s really scared, and—’