Amnesia

by Michael, Sean

  He chuckled. "You? Take time off? That'll be the day." It had been one of the reasons they'd split. Neither of them had been willing to give up anything to be together.

  "Yeah. I don't know, JJ. I'm real tired. More tired than I ought to be."

  He squeezed Thaine's hand. "Well from what I saw of the accident, you're lucky to be alive, T."

  "That's right, you are."

  He looked back, the kid standing in the doorway with a couple of coffees, looking at where their hands were joined. Well, fuck, he didn't want to hurt the kid, but they'd asked him to come here and play along and that included holding the man's hand.

  Thaine nodded, winced. "Did y'all get introduced? Jerry, this is Drew, he's been keeping me company 'til you came. He's a sweetheart."

  Drew gave him a sad smile.

  "Yeah, yeah, when I came in, remember?" He squeezed Thaine's hand and pushed Drew's sad eyes from his mind. He hadn't asked to come, but now that he was here, he was going to do whatever it was that Thaine needed. "I need to talk to the doctors, see if they'll give me some answers and let me know how long you're going to be stuck here, yeah?"

  "Yeah. Tell 'em I need to come home. You're a busy man and Doc Haller's can see me down in Houston."

  There was a soft gasp from the kid, but Jerry just nodded, playing along. It suddenly occurred to him, he just might need to bring Jerry home if this going along with the amnesia shit was going to continue.

  "We'll see what the doctors say, T. I'm not making you any promises that aren't mine to make."

  "'kay." Thaine's eyelids were drooping, the man starting to doze. Goddamn.

  It wasn't long before the hand in his went lax and Jerry shook his head. "He been doing that a lot?"

  Drew nodded. "He only came to for a bit last night and then the nurses woke him every few hours, but yeah, he'd only been awake maybe ten fifteen minutes when you showed up."

  "I'm sorry how this is playing out, kid, but I told Jesse to get the best fucking head doctor out there. Maybe he'll have some ideas on how to get T back to normal, yeah?"

  The kid didn't look too happy, but he nodded gamely.

  Man, he was useless as tits on a boar when it came to comforting. "I'm gonna go see if I can find someone to explain all this to me, okay?"

  "Yeah, okay. I'll sit with him."

  He nodded. "You do that, kid."

  Jerry took another look at Thaine and shook his head before going out and making a beeline for the nurse’s station.

  A sweet little thing blinked up at him, smiled. "Can I help you, sir?"

  "You sure can, honey. My name is Jerry Wortmeyer and I'm a friend of Mr. Thaine Russell's in room four twelve. I'm going to be paying for his stay, his treatment. I'd like to speak to the doctor in charge of his case, please." He gave her his best smile.

  "Doctor... Piland is his lead and should be doing rounds in about twenty... Oh!" She waved to a tall gangly redhead who looked distressingly like Howdy Doody. "Dr. Piland, this man is here to see you."

  Lord, lord.

  He didn't let his smile slip though, he just held out his hand and shook the doctor's firmly. "I'm Jerry Wortmeyer, Thaine Russell's friend. I'm going to be taking care of him and I want to know what's going on."

  "Ah, you're the man he kept asking for. Are you his next of kin?"

  Oh, now that was a good one. "Yes."

  "Excellent. Mr. Russell has what's called retrograde amnesia, caused by swelling of the brain. I've scheduled an MRI tonight and, depending on what we find, we can start adding food to see if he can keep it down."

  "Are you the best man for the job, Dr. Piland? No offence meant, but money's no object and I want him to have the best care going."

  "I'm the head of neurology here. You're welcome to bring in someone else, but Mr. Russell is extremely lucky if only his memory and one leg are damaged. He's still passing blood; he's been trampled by a bull."

  "What's wrong with his leg? Maybe you'd better give me the whole laundry list." Why had no one mentioned Thaine's leg?

  "He has a slight crack in his femur and a few torn muscles. His kidneys are bruised and I suspect we'll find some swelling in his hippocampus, causing the amnesia."

  "His hippowhat?" He held up his hands. "Never mind, it's causing the amnesia. Now about this not telling him he's got it business. How long do you think that's going to go on?"

  "Tonight after the MRI, we'll bring a counselor in to speak with him. I'm assuming you'll want to be there to help with the transition?"

  "Yeah. I would. The other guy. Um... Drew. He should be there as well." The kid would never forgive him if they didn't include him. "And is that going to jog his memory, do you think?"

  "No. Nothing will do that but time and the easing of the swelling. There's a possibility it will never return."

  "Never? Well shit." He wasn't sure how he felt about that. No sir.

  He wasn't sure about that at all.

  "It's a small possibility, although the chances are that he'll never remember the last week or so before the accident, even with an otherwise full recovery." The doctor looked so damned earnest.

  "It's not the last week I'm so worried about as the last five years. So until this MRI, we're to keep pretending it's five years ago, but after that we'll fess up to him." He nodded. "We can do that."

  And then he could hand Thaine over to Drew and get back to his life.

  Funny, how that didn't seem as appealing as it should.

  Chapter Five

  Fuck, his head was killing him.

  Killing him.

  The MRI had been loud and no one would let him eat and they wouldn't really let him up and...

  "JJ, can I go home yet?"

  "No, baby. You've got a cracked femur, torn muscles, bruised kidneys and a swollen hippopotamus -- that last one alone means you stay put." Asshole. Those grass green eyes just laughed at him, the perfect little polo shirt and coiffed hair seeming so fucking out of place in the whole sterile, white, hotel paintings and nasty green hospital blanket look of his new home. Bastard.

  Jerry always looked like he oughta be coming in from playing golf.

  A swollen hippo... "I don't want to know. I just want to go home, sleep in my own bed."

  The sweet kid -- and why was he still here after damn near a week? Had it been damn near a week already? Shit, time moved slow 'round here… -- made a noise, but didn't actually say anything. JJ ignored the kid, just smiled at him. "You never did have any patience."

  "Neither of us does. Funny ain't it? That we haven't killed each other yet?"

  "Yeah, T, it is." Jerry gave him a funny smile, squeezed his hand. The man's watch was new. Shit, JJ could shop with the best of 'em. "Doctor will be here soon and we'll get the full skinny from him."

  "Okay. I want to get some food from him, too. A steak. A chocolate sundae."

  JJ just laughed, the bastard. "The doctor said maybe they'd let you have solid food tonight. Something beyond broth and Jello. Somehow I don't think steak's on the menu."

  "Maybe? JJ, man. I'm going to starve. Honest." Starve to death in a fucking hospital staring at a painting of a skinny-assed heifer and fourteen bluebonnets.

  "Oh, I don't think they're allowed to starve you, baby. They'll feed you something." JJ's eyes were just twinkling.

  "Something. Right. Shit, JJ, you remember when I tore my liver on that bronc -- Windmill's lady was her name? They made me eat tapioca for days." Tapioca. Gag.

  JJ chuckled. "God, that was ages ago. You don't let go easy, do you?"

  "Only a couple of years ago, but no. That tapioca? Gag."

  "I'll tell the doc no tapioca, 'kay?"

  "What's that you're going to tell me?" The doctor stepped into the room, chart in hand.

  "He's going to tell you that I'm starving to death and that tapioca pudding makes me gag. Can I go home yet?"

  "No, sir, I'm afraid you can't just yet. Your current injuries are too severe and we need to continue to observe you -- for the hea
d wound especially. We can get the stitches out of your forehead, though, and we need to get you down into physical therapy for that leg." The doctor came over to the bed and smiled down at him, looking for all the world like Howdy Doody in scrubs. "All in all, Mr. Russell, you are a very lucky man."

  "I know. I do. Am I okay?" Head wound? He hadn't really asked if it was bad, but JJ'd have told him.

  "Cracked femur. Bruised kidneys. Some torn muscles. The biggest concern is what the MRI revealed. Your hippocampus is still very swollen and it's causing some memory loss."

  "Yeah, I can't remember the accident or how I got up here." Hell, the last thing he remembered was JJ and him sharing an apple pie.

  "I want you to take a deep breath and listen closely, Mr. Russell. The date is October 24th, 2005. Best I can tell you've lost just over five years."

  He blinked, shook his head. He must have heard that wrong. "Excuse me?"

  "It's true, T." JJ came over and gave him a sad smile. "It's two thousand and five."

  "Two... Lord. I. We still live in the same spot, JJ? Still?"

  JJ sighed and opened his mouth, but it was the kid that answered, stepping up next to JJ, all blond and sweet and blinky. "No, Thaine. You and Jerry aren't. You. You're with me now."

  "What?" There was no fucking way. None. He didn't even know the kid.

  "It's true. Me and you. For about three years. Tell him, Jerry." The kid glanced over at JJ, just begging.

  JJ shrugged and nodded, a dark flush painted over those high, sharp cheekbones. "We called it quits about five years ago, T. I'm sorry."

  "Oh." Oh, God, he must seem like all kinds of a pie-bald fool, having JJ called and shit. Thaine would give damn near anything to just sink into the ground.

  "Are you remembering anything?" the kid asked, coming to stand next to him, reaching for his hand.

  "No." He moved away, pulling the blankets up around him. Leave JJ? For real? That was deeply fucked. "When can I go..." Shit, he didn't even know if he had a home. "When can I get out of here?"

  "I'd like to play it by ear," the doctor replied. "We'll see how you do on a bit of more solid food tonight. Maybe in a few days if the rest of your injuries clear up and the p.t. goes well."

  "Thanks, doc." JJ shook the man's hand. "Can you both give me a minute with Thaine. Please?"

  The doctor nodded. "I'll be back tomorrow morning to check up on you."

  The kid though, he was standing there, looking stubborn. "I'm not going anywhere. He knows the truth now. I'm staying right here."

  "Please, Drew. Two minutes and if T asks me to go I'll be out of your lives forever."

  The kid's chin jutted out belligerently and then he turned on his heel and went.

  He didn't know what to do, what to say, where to fucking look. He was a fool.

  JJ came and sat on the edge of the bed next to him, hip warm against his. "It's fucked up, yeah?"

  "Yeah. So... You and me. I mean, you don't... Shit." Just shit.

  JJ nodded. "We just... got tired of fighting, I think. You know how you were always threatening to go and not come back this time? Well I guess that last time I didn't go after you and..." JJ shrugged. "And that was it."

  "I'm sorry. You..." God, JJ must want to get the hell out.

  JJ quirked a smile at him. "I don't know, T. I'm kind of flattered." He was given a wink and then JJ grabbed his hand and squeezed. "I tell you what, though. It won't matter how long we've been split, I will answer your call. Anything you need, baby -- that's never changed."

  "I... We... I can't believe it. I can't. I." He loved Jerry. Needed the man with a passion.

  JJ's hand was still holding his and he just kept looking at that watch. That watch he didn't know. That watch that... "Just right now, I can't believe it myself, T."

  "I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I have a fucking house." He just wanted to go home with JJ.

  JJ chuckled. "I don't know if you do either, but if you need a place to stay, you've got a room in Houston. I was talking to one of the nurses earlier and she figured they'd let you out earlier if I hired a therapist to come to the house. It's all taken care of, T. If you want it. Hell, there's even room for the new boy toy."

  "I. Does that mean you haven't moved somebody else in?" Fuck, that hurt to ask.

  "Shit, baby. After you? I didn't want to move anyone back in. Anyone." Those green eyes were serious as hell, staring right into him. "You want me to go get him, baby? I'll set you two up together."

  He shook his head. "I don't remember his name, JJ. I don't remember him at all."

  "Drew Zucker. He seems like a nice boy." JJ shook his head. "You must run the poor thing roughshod."

  "I don't even like nice..."

  "No, you were always more fond of naughty." JJ winked and then grew serious again. "Let me take you home, T. Lord knows it's next to impossible to get well in a hospital. I promise not to pick a fight until you're well enough to take a swing at me."

  Oh, thank God for small favors. He nodded, holding JJ's eyes, those green eyes the most familiar thing on earth. "Yeah. Yeah, man. I just want to go home and figure shit out."

  JJ nodded, squeezed his hand. "As much time as you need, T. I can give you that."

  A knock came at the door, the kid -- what was his name again? -- peeking in. "Everything okay?"

  "I... Christ. No? I'm sorry, man, but I don't know you."

  Oh, fuck, he felt like he'd kicked a puppy. The kid sucked it up though, took a breath and came in, holding out a hand. "I'm Drew Zucker."

  Thaine reached out and shook. "Hey Drew. It's nice to meet you. You've been real good to me in here."

  The kid had a nice firm shake, skin warm, and he was nice enough looking, but didn't do anything for him. Not the way JJ did.

  "Did you want me to tell you about things? I was talking to the doctor and he said whatever you're comfortable with."

  "Easy, kid. Thaine's only just found out he's lost the five years. Let that sink in before you start ramming all the details down his throat."

  "I... I don't even know you. I don't remember you at all. I'm sorry."

  "But you know me now – we’ve been introduced. And you're going to remember soon, right? I just want to help with that."

  JJ put his hand on the kid's arm. "We know, Drew, we know. But I imagine Thaine's pretty overwhelmed right now and adding a bunch of details he doesn't remember? That's hardly going to help."

  The kid's shoulders hunched a little. "Do you... do you want me to go?"

  Oh, fuck him. He didn't want to hurt anybody. He just wanted an aspirin and some food. "I want something for my head. I... Where do you live, kid?"

  "Right now he's staying with me, Bubba." Now that voice he recognized.

  "Jesse. Dude. Where've you been man?"

  The familiar smile eased him, the heavy mustache covering that thin upper lip that'd got all tore up when Beaucephous rammed Jesse into the bucking chutes. Lord, that'd been nasty. Blood fucking everywhere. "Waiting. Watching. Worrying. That bull damn near ate your lunch."

  JJ stood and nodded to Jesse. "Hey, man. Hell of a situation." There never had been much love lost between Jerry and his best friend. Prob'ly never would be.

  "Yeah. Yeah." Jesse met his eyes. "You okay, man?"

  He just shook his head. "I can't remember shit."

  "We'll help," Drew said, stepping close, reaching for his hand.

  JJ rolled his eyes. He just looked to JJ, completely fucking wigged out and about to bolt like a wild horse. JJ met his gaze and the man nodded. "Okay, I think T's had a lot just thrown at him and probably needs a bit of time to take it all in. Jesse why don't you take Drew out for some supper. Poor kid's been here since this happened. I bet he could use a nice steak and a beer or three."

  Oh, bless him. Yes. Please.

  Jesse looked, nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, come on, bud. Let's go get something substantial."

  The kid squeezed his hand then bent and kissed him on the cheek. "Love you, Thain
e." The words were spoken really soft, those blue eyes so damned earnest.

  Oh, man. Man, this so sucked. "Have a good supper, yeah?"

  The kid blinked hard and then nodded. "I'll be back." The kid looked back once before going out the door, back stiff, straight.

  "Oh, shit, JJ. This is deeply fucked up." He met Jerry's eyes, not knowing which end was up.