Amnesia

by Michael, Sean

  "They ain't saying nothing, Jess. Just that Jerry needs to come." Cooter was about as white as a ghost. "Did you call him?"

  "Yeah. Yeah, let me find somebody to talk to." Not that it did a bit of good, goddamn it. He hollered and cussed and bitched and screamed and they just kept turning him away.

  Drew tried sweet talking one of the little nurses, but that didn't do them any good either, and they threatened to call security if they weren't good. "Just let the doctors do their work, sir."

  Right.

  He was about to go another round when Jerry blew in, glowering and demanding to see Thaine "Right fucking now."

  He slipped right in behind Jerry as the nurses buzzed the bastard in. "Mr. Wortmeyer? He's in bed three."

  Bed three. Not surgery. Not ICU. Bed three. That sounded good.

  Drew was right behind him, hand on the small of his back.

  "What's his condition?" Jerry demanded. He had to hand it to the man; Jerry did important-big-wig-you-will-tell-me-what-I-want-to-know-now really well.

  "He has some facial fractures and a concussion and they're stitching up a gash, but he's awake. Talking."

  "So he's okay?" Jerry followed the nurse, stopping with her outside a curtain, him and Drew still right behind.

  "Okay is a strong word, honestly." A doctor came out, blood on his coat. "He's too old for this line of work. His brain can only take so much."

  Jerry snorted. "Try telling him that."

  Jesse felt Drew tense up behind him, heard him take a breath. Jesse reached back, hand on Drew's belly. "You'd better tell him yourself, man, before we lose him."

  Jerry turned, looking like he hadn't seen them until now. "What the hell are you two doing here?" Then he raised a hand. "Never mind. Excuse me," he added to the doctor, pulling open the curtain and heading for Thaine's bedside.

  He followed right behind, Thaine laying there, white as a sheet, blood still staining the man's skin.

  "Jesus Christ," muttered Jerry. "I swear to God, I'm not going through this again."

  "Mmm. Jerry. Jerry, what're you doin' here?" Thaine's voice was slurred, eyelids fluttering.

  "Making sure your sorry ass isn't dead, T. You're in the goddamned hospital -- you remember how you got here?" Jerry sat carefully on the edge of the bed.

  Drew leaned against Jesse. It really was some kind of strange deja vu feeling.

  "Bull whacked me in the chutes. I was coming home Tuesday..."

  "You're coming home sooner than that. Soon as the doctor springs you. And then you and me are having a conversation, T."

  "Huh? I gotta make a ride..." Thaine shuddered, turning green. "Gonna be sick."

  It was Drew who found the bowl, getting it beneath Thaine's mouth before he was sick all over himself.

  "Lord, Thaine. You gotta. You gotta listen to Jerry, man." Jesse gagged a little, going to find a nurse. "Honey. Honey, he's in there puking."

  She pursed her lips and made her way to the curtained bed. "Oh, now there's too many people in here. You'll all have to leave until we get him moved to his own room." She shooed him and Drew out and started arguing with Jerry who insisted on staying.

  Drew's hand landed on his back. "You okay, Jesse? You look a little green around the gills yourself."

  "I don't do the whole puke thing. Shit, we gotta make Jerry understand. Thaine's gonna die."

  Drew nodded. "I know. Thaine's one stubborn cowboy though -- it's not going to be easy."

  Jerry's voice raised from behind the curtain. "I don't care who you call -- I'm not going anywhere!"

  He grinned over at Drew. "Jerry's got the stubborn bone too, baby."

  "It sure sounds like it. He's going to need it."

  "Who's going to need what?" Jerry asked, coming out, just growling. "That damn nurse is the meanest bi- woman I have ever met."

  "You, asshole. Thaine's going to need you." He didn't fucking like Jerry, but the man sure came in a heartbeat.

  The nurse came out from behind the curtain. "This is not the waiting room, boys. Move on and let my patients have some piece."

  Jerry opened his mouth and the nurse pointed a finger at him. "I told you I would let you know the minute there was a change, don't make me call security."

  Jerry's mouth closed with a snap. Jesse could see Drew biting the side of his mouth, eyes twinkling.

  "Come on. We'll get some coffee." He headed out, listening to Drew and Jerry behind him.

  "You think this is funny, kid? Is that what you think?"

  "No, I don't. But if he was dying, she'd have let you stay." Drew had a point. "Jesse was right though, you can't let him ride again."

  Jerry snorted. "You say that like you think it's up to me."

  "You better make it up to you, unless you want to buy a black suit," Jesse snapped.

  "He already got told going back out there could kill him, Lourdes. He did it anyway."

  "You really don't care?" He stopped, stared. "I mean, shit. I get doing what you love and shit, but are you gonna wipe his ass when his brain's scrambled and he don't remember his own name? You don't look like the mothering type."

  Jerry got right up in his face. "Fuck you, Jesse. Making like I don't care about him. You know full well that's not true."

  "So? You gonna put him in a home? What? Dying would suck, but how you gonna handle it if he's a vegetable?" He could chest-thump with the best of them.

  "Neither of those are gonna happen on my watch and don't make like you care so much. You turned your back on him the minute he got amnesia and came back to me."

  "Yeah, well, does he have his memory back, man?"

  "As a matter of fact yes he does. Well, some, anyway." Jerry growled.

  "Well, I ain't seen him calling to the house apologizing to Drew." Not that he wanted Thaine calling Drew. Drew was his now.

  "You what? Listen here you sorry, man-stealing motherfucker. He is in there lucky he isn't dead and you're bitching because he hasn't apologized to Drew. Who, by the way, looks like he landed right on his feet and into your bed the moment Thaine came back to me." Jerry's eyes just flashed, pure lightning.

  He pursed his lips, stepping forward, hands clenched into fists. Oh, he was going to kick the little fucker's ass. Jerry set himself, fists coming up in front of him.

  "Hey. Jesse. Jerry. Come on. Thaine's in the hospital, man. And you're causing a scene and that little nurse is going to come back and kick you both out." Drew's hand was hot on his shoulder. "At least take it outside if you're going to do this."

  "Shit." He took a deep breath, forced his fingers to relax. "Let's go home, baby. We're not needed here."

  A crash sounded behind them, a nurse crying out and then Thaine was standing there swaying, white as a sheet. "I wasn't mean to him. Once I 'membered some of it, y'all was happy and so was I."

  "Jesus Christ, T!" Jerry hauled ass over to Thaine, arm going around his waist to keep him from falling over. "You happy now, Lourdes? Making him get up and come out here in this state?"

  "No. No, I ain't." He muscled over, stared Thaine down. "I love him, you bastard. More than you ever did."

  "I know." Thaine's eyes were rolling like dice.

  "Jesse. We don't need to do this now. 'Sides it all worked out for the best." Drew tugged on his arm.

  "It did." Jesse nodded, staring at Thaine. "You don't be stupid, Bubba. I cain't fight with you if you're dead."

  "You'd hate that." Thaine knew him, even half addled.

  "Nobody's dying here today," growled Jerry.

  "No, but if you don't cooperate and get him back in the bed, sir, I'll try to arrange it." Man, that nurse was a bitch.

  "Come on, T. She means it," Jerry put an arm around Thaine and glared over at him and Drew. "Why don't you both go back home? He's coming back to Houston with me just as soon as they let him out of here."

  Jesse knew when to retreat. "Okay. Okay. You get better, Bubba. Keep your fucking brains in your head."

  Thaine nodded, winced. "I'll try, man
. Drew."

  "I'm glad you're okay, Thaine. You listen to the doctors and Jerry, okay? Don't keep pushing your luck." Drew gave an awkward little wave and pushed his hands into his pockets.

  "I'll keep you updated," Jerry offered grudgingly.

  "Thanks, man. Come on, baby. I'll take you to supper."

  That was all he could do.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Jerry paced while they moved Thaine up to a private room on the second floor. He'd been bucking to take his cowboy home, but the doctor'd been pretty adamant that moving Thaine could be dangerous. So he was in for observation.

  Jerry couldn't believe this had happened on Thaine's first ride back out there. Hell, the man hadn't even made it out of the chute. Which maybe was a good thing. That might have killed him.

  Finally, the bitch nurse from downstairs came out with the orderly. "You can go see him now." She wagged her finger at him. "But I've told the floor nurse to call me if you give her any trouble, so you make sure you listen to what she tells you."

  "Yes, ma'am." The battleaxe had to go home sometime, right?

  He pushed the door to Thaine's room open and headed for the bed, his cowboy pale and still. "Hey, babe," he said softly.

  "Hey, honey. 'm I going home now?" Those poor eyes were black as pitch.

  "No, damn it. Apparently you knocked your head to hell and back and they want to 'observe' you." He stroked Thaine's hand, thinking this was one time too many to be sitting in the hospital at Thaine's bedside. "We need to talk, T."

  "'kay. I'm fair to middlin' at that."

  "Yeah? You're feeling good? Can't wait to get back out there?" He was going to deck the man if Thaine said yes.

  "Huh?" Thaine sort of blinked, eyes rolling a little.

  "Sorry, I'm just a little aggravated. I don't like it when my lover nearly dies in front of my eyes." He could see it in his mind's eye -- it had played over and over in slow motion on the TV.

  "Me either. We should stop that."

  He nodded. "Yeah, stopping has my vote." He squeezed Thaine's hand. "How are you feeling? You look like shit."

  "Queasy and my head fucking hurts." Thaine squeezed back. "You say I got hit in the chutes?"

  "You don't remember now? You remembered a couple of hours ago. I must have seen it five hundred times. Your head hit and you went down, the bull nearly stomped you to death."

  "No. I remember getting on. I remember waking up here."

  "Probably for the best." He reached out and touched Thaine's cheek. "You can't keep doing this, Thaine. Your body won't take anymore."

  "I. Shit, honey. I don't know how to do anything else. I gotta ride."

  "No you don't gotta. Hell, babe, you'd have to quit it sooner or later. Just turns out it's sooner. We'll find you something else to do." Lots of folks had more than one career these days; it wouldn't be strange at all for a man Thaine's age to be starting over. Hell, it wasn't like he was an old-timer or anything.

  "Something else? What else do I know? I been riding since I was eleven. I just..." Thaine started looking a little green around the gills.

  "Come on now, T. You don't need to plan your life tonight. I'll stick with you, yeah?"

  "Yeah. Yeah, honey. Just tell 'em to send me home. I may need a couple more weeks 'fore I'm ready to go back."

  A couple more weeks. Jesus fucking Christ.

  "Yeah, you're coming home with me as soon as they spring you." He'd have at least those two weeks to knock some sense into Thaine.

  "'kay. 'kay, honey." Thaine held on, eyes opening and closing, over and over.

  "Go to sleep, babe. God knows the nurses'll be by to wake you up again in a couple hours." He stroked Thaine's lower jaw, one of the few spots on his face where there were no bruises.

  "Love you, JJ. You know, huh?"

  "Shit yeah. I know that." He leaned in and kissed T gently. "I love you, too, T."

  "Good." Thaine smiled at him, then just faded right away.

  Man, this sucked.

  And Thaine needed to find another line of work before one of those bulls finished him off for good.

  They just had to figure out what.

  Chapter Twenty Six

  Jesus, he hurt. Hurt bad enough that he was fucking scared, which was weird as hell, because God knew he'd been hurt a million times and managed. Still, there it was.

  And there Jerry was, sleeping in the little pull-out chair. In the fucking hospital fucking again. Man, it was time to go home.

  He slid out of the bed, heading toward the john, dragging the stupid IV stand-doolie with him. Fucking puking. Fucking needles.

  Fucking getting-old body.

  "Thaine?" He musta woken Jerry. "Thaine? Buddy? Where the hell... oh. There you are." Jerry gave him a sheepish grin.

  "Yeah. Have to piss. Gimme five." He grinned back, heading into the little bathroom to do his business and give himself a little wash. His face looked plumb awful - swolled and black and purple, black stitches standing out here and there.

  Fucking Frankenstein, man.

  "Shout out if you need any help in there, T. You look like you might need it."

  "I look like a dead man." He was just standing there, staring. Jesus.

  Jerry appeared in the bathroom doorway, looking him over. "I can't really argue with you there, T. Maybe it's a sign."

  "What? That I'm supposed to be dead?"

  Jerry snorted. "No. That you're going to get yourself killed if you go back out there again."

  "I'm not ready to go back just yet."

  "I think you might not be ready for longer than you think, T." Jerry leaned against the door frame, arms crossed.

  "I." Man, Jerry looked grumpy. "When can I come home?"

  "As soon as they spring you. I'm hoping today." Jerry looked at his watch. "The doctor's supposed to be around before noon."

  "Good. I'm ready. I want this thing out." He motioned to the IV, groaning as nodding made his head throb.

  That made Jerry look even grumpier. "You'd best get back to bed and rest so the doctor will release you when he comes around."

  "Yeah. Did you find out who won the event?" He swayed, let Jerry help him back into bed.

  "Did I what?" Jerry shook his head. "No, babe. I don't know who won." Jerry pulled the covers up, patting them around him.

  "Wasn't me. Damn it." He closed his eyes, reaching for Jerry's hand. "Thanks for coming."

  Jerry's fingers twisted with his. "Thought I lost you, T. I thought I was coming to say goodbye." Just listen to that growl.

  "What? No. No, I won't. I wasn't going to."

  "You could have though." Jerry shook his head. "Babe. That was too close. You need to start thinking about getting into a new line of work."

  "I don't know what else to do." Jerry wouldn't head out to a ranch. He didn't want to leave JJ.

  "You don't have to figure it out today, babe. But you do need to figure it out. You weren't even out of the chute, T. Sure as shit it's going to kill you if you go out there again."

  "I'm too mean to die." Right?

  "Before yesterday I'd have agreed with you, but it seems to me those bulls are meaner." Jerry leaned in and looked him right in the eye. "I love you, T. I expect to be arguing with you and making love with you until we're too old to figure out which is which."

  "That's pretty fucking old, JJ."

  "You got a problem with getting old with me, T?"

  "No." His eyes closed, his fingers stroking over Jerry's. "No. I want to be with you forever." Now that was a stupid, girly thing to say. True, but stupid.

  Jerry's fingers turned, gripped his. "Then you're done riding, T. We'll find something else for you to do, I swear."

  "Will we?" He tried not to shake his head, because it hurt like fuck. "I don't know."

  "Jesus Christ, Thaine Russell, you are the most stubborn man on God's green earth." Jerry growled at him and got up, paced to the door and back. "Just think about it, okay? Christ."

  "Okay. Fuck. You act l
ike you're not talking about me not having a fucking job, money, anything."

  "You've got me, T. And last time I checked I have more than enough money to float you while you think on things."

  "I know, honey, but..." Damn. He had his pride, damn it.