Swim Coach: A Novel

by Sam E. Kraemer

  We finally got on the road, and I was so pissed at Lance for telling Andre what had happened, I couldn't hold my tongue. "Thanks for being a friend and not going back on your word to keep your fucking pie hole shut. Oh wait, you didn't do any of that shit, did you?" I turned to look at him, seeing he looked guilty. Yeah, you oughta look guilty.

  "I know I went back on my word, Colton, but you need a support system right now. If you don't talk about what happened to you, it'll fester and infect you until the great guy we all know and love will be completely gone. You're too fucking young for that, and if I have it in my power to be sure that doesn't happen, I'll do whatever I have to do.

  "I know someone who's had to suffer something similar, and I know how it can affect every aspect of one's life. He finally got help, and if he hadn't, God only knows what would have happened to him. I know, I know, you won't see what I did was out of love, not out of my desire to humiliate you.

  "I did it because if you don't talk about it and you allow it to take over your life, then they win. They have the control over you, and they'll keep it for the rest of your life. You're too great a guy to go down that road, and I can't stand by, in good conscience, and let it happen." He seemed rather passionate about his position, so I decided to ask what happened.

  "Okay, Dr. Phil, who is this miracle man who overcame adversity to become a pillar of mental health?" I asked, sarcastically.

  "Me."

  I whipped my head around to look at him, sure he was kidding. When I looked at his face, I could tell he wasn't. "Seriously?"

  "Squid, I wouldn't make something like that up. I was ten. It was my uncle. It went on for two years until my dad caught him and beat him so badly he was in a coma for two months. He and my dad both went to prison, dad for attempted murder and his brother for about ten different things. He's still in, but my dad's out now, having pled guilty and bargaining for a lesser sentence.

  "That's why I want to go back to North Carolina. I took care of my mom while he was doing time, and now they're getting older, so I need to take care of them both. That's why I have to be there. I'm their only kid and after all the shit went down, nobody in my dad's family speaks to us anymore.

  "So, you see, I have an idea about how those types of things can take over your life. I didn't get help until I got arrested for jacking a car as a juvenile, and it was a condition of having my records sealed and keeping my ass out of a detention facility until I was eighteen. I was fifteen at the time, and Mom was having trouble making ends meet because Dad was in prison. I, in my infinite wisdom, decided to jack a car and try to sell it for parts. Not the best decision I ever made," he explained.

  Yeah, I was stunned silent. The guy I hung out with and counted as a very good friend didn't give any indication he'd suffered through anything of the sort. He fought his demons, and I needed to really consider how I handled mine.

  "Colt, what happened to your face, honey?" Mom asked as she greeted me and Lance at the door. I hugged her and put all other thoughts out of my head. The weekend was about her, and I wasn't going to allow anything else going on in my life to interfere.

  "I, uh…" My mind was suddenly blank.

  Lance laughed. "We were playing a pickup game at the rec center and I passed the ball but Colt wasn’t ready for it. Got him in the face. I'm Lance O’Day. It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am," he responded, turning on the southern charm.

  "It's nice to meet one of Colton's friends. Come in. Hurry and change so we're not late. Reverend Burns was kind enough to give us an extra half hour to start, but he's got a wedding this evening. That nice Handley girl is getting married. She was in your class, wasn't she?" Mom asked with a soft smile.

  I chuckled. "Yeah, um, who's the unlucky bastard?"

  She slapped me on the chest. "Colton Josiah, I won't abide talk like that. She's marrying your old swim coach, Eric Dean. He runs the hardware store now."

  I laughed as I grabbed Lance's arm and dragged him toward the stairs. "We'll be down in a minute, Mom." I turned to Lance about halfway up and whispered, "That girl was a whore in high school."

  He cracked up and followed me down the hallway. I showed him to Zoey's room and then I went to mine which looked exactly as it had in high school. I pulled out my gray dress slacks and white shirt, quickly dressing. Just as I was pulling on the uncomfortable black loafers, there was a knock at the door. "Come on in."

  Lance walked in with a really nice black dress shirt and a black and gray tie on a hanger. I cocked an eyebrow at him, and he smiled. "Turn around." I did as he said, and he snorted.

  "Fucking Dupree. Here, wear this. It'll be a little big, but not much. Mine would have swallowed you, and I now owe the fucker dinner."

  "What's wrong with my shirt? It's not too wrinkled," I complained looking down.

  "Actually, it looks like you slept in it, but you can, uh, see through the back of it. Dupree guessed it and sent this for you because he thinks about shit like that. Can you tie a tie?"

  "Hell, no."

  I pulled off my shirt and pulled on the black one, seeing it was just a little blousy. I buttoned it up and tucked it in while Lance stepped in front of me to tie the damn noose. I hadn't worn a tie since the clip-on at my high school graduation. I'd never worn a real tie in my life, even to my father's funeral. I was sure Mom would be happy to see me so dressed up, so I didn't complain.

  I drove us to the cemetery in Mom's old Pontiac. She needed a new car, but I knew she'd never entertained the idea. She pointed things out to Lance as we drove through town, and he listened and smiled, asking questions I was sure he didn't give a shit about hearing answered.

  We arrived at the cemetery, and there was a small gathering of people waiting for us. The local VFW had a presence, along with an honor corps, and there were some friends of my parents with whom my mom still socialized. There were a few people from the hospital where she worked, and much to my surprise, my sister was there, standing off to the side by herself.

  "Mom, did you know Zoey was coming?" I whispered as we walked up. Her head whipped to me, and I, in turn, nodded in Zoey’s direction. Mom gasped and started crying as she hurried over to her daughter. The two of them exchanged hushed words before Mom enveloped her in a huge hug. I saw Zoey crying, and I decided to keep my distance because she and I could find something to fight about at the drop of a hat.

  "Who's the hot chick?" Lance whispered.

  I leaned closer. "My sister, Zoey."

  "Damn, she's gorgeous. If she had a dick she'd be…"

  "Me?" I teased. He looked at me and then back to Zoey, smiling. For just being half-siblings, we did look a lot alike.

  "Yeah, I guess she would, Squid."

  After the ceremony, most of the people came back to Mom's house for food. Lance, Zoey, and I helped Mom set up a buffet in the dining room with several of her friends assisting as well. People had brought food and beer, in my father's honor, and just like every year, I heard stories about what a great guy my dad was and his exploits when he was a kid, growing up with Bryana's dad as one of his good friends. Apparently, they were two of the hell-raisers in town which was funny considering their chosen professions as adults.

  I was standing in the kitchen while I ate some ham and potato salad when my sister sauntered in. "Colton, how's school?" She was a senior at NYU, and I hadn't really talked to her in years. Even when she was still at home she didn't talk to me. Why she quit talking to Mom was the mystery.

  "Good. You?" I knew my voice sounded cold and as happy as I was that she was there for Mom, I wasn't about to give her any indication I could just forget her basic abandonment of me and Mom after Dad was killed.

  Lance walked over with two beers. "Here, Squid. I didn't figure you could get one for yourself without getting busted by Bryana's dad. He actually carded me. He's not much of a talker, is he?"

  I laughed. "Not at all. Zoey, this is my friend, Lance. This is my sister, Zoey," I introduced. I saw her eyelashes flutter, and I looked to se
e Lance's reaction. He laughed.

  "It's nice to meet you. Your brother's pretty fucking spectacular," he responded, not bothering to shake her hand.

  She looked at us and rolled her eyes. "Ah, another sausage jockey. Well, isn't that lovely."

  "Zoey," I warned.

  Lance laughed. "It's okay, Colton. See, it's women like you that turned me to men in the first place. So, how come Colton never talks about you?"

  God, I didn't want to get into that shit. "Lance, please."

  Zoey snorted and turned to Lance. "Is that what he says in the bedroom?"

  I could see it wasn't setting well with my friend, and I was worried about what was going to come out of his mouth. "Kinda, but it's me saying, 'Colton, baby, please put that big cock in me.' See, in this relationship, he wears the pants. So, who's the masochist adventurous enough to take you on? I've heard about you from Dupree."

  At the mention of Andre, she scowled. "That fucking prick. He's a lying douche if he said I came onto him and he turned me down. I never did any such thing. He hit on me, and I told him to fuck off. Anyway, are you two butt pirates staying here? My shit's still in the rental car."

  "We are. Lance can stay in my room with me. I didn't think you'd come, so I set him up in your room, but we'll be fine," I responded.

  She looked at me and smirked. "I'll bet. Well, you remember Daddy's rule. No fucking under his roof."

  I stiffened at her words, and apparently, Lance felt it. He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "Don't worry, sister dear, we can control ourselves. Though from what I've heard, you didn't take the Major’s mandate very seriously. Dupree told me he was surprised your folks didn't put in a revolving door when you were in high school."

  Zoey whipped around and stormed off while flying the finger at him, obviously not taking his comment well. I turned to Lance and saw he was pissed. "She's a bitch, okay. I'm used to it, and antagonizing her won't make her play nice, trust me."

  "Kid, I'm sorry, but Sissy Dearest has a big fucking chip on her shoulder when it comes to you. Why is that?" I didn't know, so I shrugged.

  "Well, she needs to dial back the hate. Anyway, I'll run up and grab my shit. Where can I find extra blankets or a sleeping bag?"

  I looked at him with a furrowed brow. "I've got bunk beds, Lance. I trust you can control yourself around me."

  He smiled and squeezed my forearm. "Colton, hon, I'll sleep on the floor. I'm not sleeping in a dinky ass bed worrying if I'll break the fucking thing. I like to stretch out. The floor's just fine with me. Look, I used to camp with my dad and cousins when I was a kid, so I'm used to sleeping on the ground. Just point me in the right direction." I smiled at my friend and told him to go into the large armoire in the upstairs hallway. He nodded and hurried off.

  I walked out onto the back porch and finished my beer, tossing the bottle into the recycle bin. I heard the screen door slam and turned to see my mother walk out with a cigarette in her hand. I knew she only smoked when she was stressed, so I didn't give her shit about it. "Chelle, you know those things are bad for you," I teased.

  She jumped, which led me to believe she didn't know I was out there. "Oh, Colt, I didn't see you. You know I only…" I held up my hand and took the lighter from her, striking it and holding it up to light her cigarette.

  "I know, Momma. I'm just kidding. So, did you find out why Zoey is here? She's been a perfect bitch to me, but I hope she hasn't been the same to you." I meant every word.

  "Honey, she's got demons she's fighting, much like we all do. I'm not sure why she's here. I'm just happy she is. So, she told me…in colorful words…that Lance's your boyfriend. Is that true?"

  She had a gentle smile on her face as if she'd be happy if it was the truth, but I couldn't lie to her. "He's not, Momma. He's a very, very good friend of mine, and he was kind enough to come with me to offer his support. There's nothing more going on. If I ever meet the right guy, you'll be the second to know," I told her as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head.

  "Oh, honey, all your daddy and I ever wanted was for the two of you to be happy. He was so proud of you, even though he didn't really understand you being gay. He tried, though, because he always said it didn't matter what his son chose to do for his life, all he wanted was for you to be healthy and happy. He'd be really proud of you right now with how well you're doing in school. He loved you and your sister very much." God forgive me for the next words out of my mouth, but I need answers.

  "Why does she seem to hate me?" I asked.

  Mom sighed. "I don't think she hates you, Colton. I just think she's always competed for your daddy's attention because she never met her own dad. She never understood how a parent didn't love one child more than the other. She never believed the love inside of you just grows to take in all of your children. I'm not sure why, but I think it's got a lot to do with how much time your daddy spent with you after you told us you were gay. He and Zoey used to spend a lot of time working on that old truck together. She was just a baby when your daddy and I got married, and he's the only daddy she ever knew, so she loved spending time with him. As you got older, you had your swimming and your friends, and well, she never made friends easily.

  "After all that shit happened to you, your daddy wanted to make sure you could take care of yourself. That meant he spent less time with her, and I think she thought your daddy chose you over her. It wasn't that way, but your sister is as stubborn as you and your daddy. Anyway, just give her space.

  "When are you and Lance going back to school?"

  I guess what she said made sense. I remembered Zoey and Dad in the garage on weekends when he was home for more than a few days and a lot during the summers when we were off from school. I remembered it didn't bother me back then because I was busy with friends and the Squids…Andre Dupree being a lot of the reason for that distraction.

  If she was jealous or whatever, there was nothing I could do about it, so I just let it go. I had enough other shit to deal with, so I just let it go.

  "Lancelot, you don't have to speed. It's only four o'clock," I told him. He was driving like a fucking maniac, and after the emotional weekend we’d just gotten through, I was more than a little on edge. I was worried about going back to school because I hadn't heard from Nick, and I wasn't looking forward to sleeping in my dorm room alone. I needed to figure out a way to get Ahmed to have my locks changed without giving him the reason for my request, and I had to figure out how to keep from beating someone to death because of all the anger which had built up in me over the two days we were in Unionville.

  "Sorry, Squid, but we need to get home as soon as possible. Chip bailed him out, but apparently, he's pretty messed up. I need to see how bad," Lance responded cryptically.

  I turned to look at him. "Who?" I felt the knot of nerves tighten because I had a good idea of the name I was about to hear, but I needed to hear it nonetheless.

  Lance sighed. "I got a call last night while you and Momma were outside sneaking smokes. Dre got arrested last night. He called Chip, and Chip called me. I didn't want the drama to interfere with your time with your family…well, your mom since your sister decided to take off yesterday, so I didn't say anything."

  Zoey blew up in typical fashion because Lance and I were in the bathroom. He was trying to get that ink off my back, and she decided we were fucking and pitched a fit. I couldn't tell her what we were doing, so I let her go with her assumption which pissed her off and caused her to leave. I had to accept the fact my sister didn't accept my sexual orientation, and it was yet another mountain of crap piled on top of everything else. I'd never imagined her to be that way, but I really never understood her in the first place.

  We pulled in front of the apartment building, and I followed Lance inside. We hurried up the stairs, not waiting for the slow-as-fuck elevator, and when Lance opened the door, I heard Andre talking inside.

  "I understand how disappointed you are, but you really have to trust me when I
tell you it was necessary. I can't explain it more than that, but I'd do it again. Some things should never happen, and when they do, someone needs to ensure they never happen again.

  "No, you don't need to come up. It's an assault case, but if things work out the way I hope, the charges will be dropped."

  "I love you, too. I'll see you at Thanksgiving. Hey, can I bring someone? I mean, if he doesn't have plans. Yeah, he is. Thanks. Bye."

  I looked at Lance and he shrugged, so we went inside and walked into the living room, seeing Andre sitting on the sofa looking at his phone. "Jailbird, when did ya get out?" Lance called as he dropped his duffel in the living room. I stood by, nervously shifting from one foot to the other.

  Andre's head snapped up, and he smiled a little when he looked at me. "Colton, how are you, lo…."

  When I saw his face, I hurried over to the couch and looked at the split lip, the black eye, and the bruised jaw. Without thinking, I reached up and gently brushed my fingers across the bruise on his jaw. "What the hell did you do?"

  He reached up and took my hand, holding it against his face and closing his eyes, leaning into my palm. After a few seconds he opened his eyes, but he didn't release my hand. "I can't tell you what happened because I respect the fact you want to keep things private. I'll just say I created a situation wherein I was able to extract a bit of revenge and set up what I hope to fuck is an attempted attack on me."

  "Andre, why would you do that?" I asked with incredulity in my voice.

  He chuckled. "Colton, you'd be surprised what a man is willing to do for those about whom he cares."

  I turned to look at Lance but found him to be missing. I turned back to Andre and saw he was standing, holding out his hand for me. "Can we go talk? Please?"

  I took his hand and allowed him to lead me back to his room. Thankfully, he led me to the couch I'd fallen off of the last time I stayed and not to the bed. I sat down, still feeling a bit of pain in my backside, and I leaned against the back of the couch resting my head and closing my eyes. I really wanted to catapult six months into the future so all of this shit was behind me, but without the ability to time travel, well, I was fucked.